Crazy by saulalovin
A JAG fan fiction

Pairing: Harmon Rabb, Jr. and Sarah MacKenzie
Summary: They said she was crazy for giving it all up, and she had to agree – for a different reason.
Spoilers: This takes place some years after the finale. …Still not quite over JAG ending just yet.
Disclaimer: JAG and its characters unfortunately do not belong to me.
Author's Note: I can count the number of JAG episodes I've watched on one hand, because I only got hooked watching the series finale. Sad, I know. (Just so you know, I'm waiting in vain for JAG to be released on DVD.) Therefore, I do not know much about the character backgrounds and such, so please forgive me for the errors (especially about London's cobblestone streets – I've never been to London, so I wouldn't know about them being cobblestone. Hee). Please read and review. It would totally make my day.

She awoke with a start. Rolling over, she knew that there was no way she was going to fall back asleep after sensing it was nearly in six in the morning.

Sarah MacKenzie carefully wriggled out of the strong arms that held her to the bed, so as not to wake him. She slipped into her robe and smiled down at the sleeping form of Harmon Rabb, Jr. He squirmed and stirred slightly, feeling around for the body that had been keeping him warm, his eyes still closed. She knew that ordinarily, he would have awakened to coax her back to bed, but work had kept him in the office until late last night, and he was exhausted. She pressed a soft kiss on his forehead and pulled the covers up over him before padding over to the window, barefoot.

It was still fairly dark outside, but parts of the sky were slowly changing color, anticipating the sunrise. She smiled slightly as she gazed down at the empty cobblestone streets. It hadn't taken long for her to get used to living in London, her job having trained her to adapt to different situations quickly, but it had only been in the last year or so that she had come to really love London. It wasn't Falls Church, but in a way, it had become a place to call home.

Home.

Anywhere was home to her, as long as she was with Harm.

Fate is a funny thing, she mused, fingering her wedding band with her left hand. If someone had told her a few years ago that she would be married to Harm (who, as cheesy as it may sound, was undoubtedly the love of her life) and living happily in London, she would've laughed right in his face…

Yet here she was.

She thought back to the night they had decided they were going to get married. She remembered feeling extremely anxious that night, faced with the fact that she was going to be 5,489 miles away from Harm and the possibility of never addressing their feelings for each other hung over her head like a storm cloud. So she went over to his apartment and just stood there for a while in the doorway, watching him as he packed, until he finally looked up and saw her.

They had made small talk first, dancing around the topic the way they always did. So she had taken the plunge:

"Let's talk about you and me."

When he had told her, "Mac, I don't think that I will ever feel about anyone else the way that I feel about you," her heart felt two completely different emotions – happiness, because she felt the exact same way about him, and sadness, because she knew that either of them would never really be happy unless they were together.

And Fate sure as hell wasn't giving them a chance to be together – she was headed for San Diego, and he for London. She had felt hopelessness wash over, followed by panic. They had twelve hours. The decisions they made in those twelve hours would affect the rest of their lives.

But when they kissed, all her worries faded away. In a split second, she knew where she belonged – with Harm. It was as simple as that.

Well, maybe not that simple, she conceded, resting her hand on the windowpane. When he had proposed, the happiness she felt was nearly overshadowed by the fact that in order to make their marriage work, one of them would have to resign his commission.

Fate was to decide for them, through a coin flip at McMurphy's Tavern. She called "tails", and as she gripped Harm while the coin spiraled gracefully into the air, she made her own decision. Screw fate, she said to herself as the coin descended and clattered onto the floor, spinning a few times before finally landing to a stop. She pounced on it before anyone else could, and picked it up, showing it to everyone.

"Heads."

Harm had looked at her quickly, surprised. "Hang on," he protested. "How do we know it was really heads-up?"

"Do you doubt me?" she asked coyly, batting her eyelashes.

He gave her a look but said nothing.

"It was heads," she insisted, lying through her teeth.

It had been tails. But now that she thought about it, she didn't want Harm to give up his Navy career. Her own career had once meant the world to her, but it didn't any longer. There was something – someone – more important to her now, and he continued to glance at her skeptically as she passed the JAG coin back to Bud.

"Mac – "

She silenced him with a kiss. "Congratulations, Captain," she said softly, smiling. She turned back to the others. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's celebrate!"

Harriet had taken her aside later that night. "It was tails, wasn't it?"

She had looked at her guiltily before finally admitting quietly that it had indeed been tails.

"You really love him," Harriet told her, a broad smile spreading over her face.

"I do."

Everyone had suspected that the coin had turned up tails, and some had told her she was crazy for passing up an opportunity like this.

Was she? Was she crazy for giving it all up, for Harm?

She did think she was crazy, although not for the reason people thought. She was crazily, madly, ridiculously in love with Harmon Rabb, Jr., and frankly, that was enough for her.

"You do realize everything you've done for me?" he asked her one night as they gazed out into the London skyline. "You've helped me look for my father, going farther with me than anyone else has, you've waited for me for nine years… And now this." He leaned his forehead against hers, caressing her cheek with his right hand. "You are amazing, you know that?"

She turned away from the window and crossed to the other end of the room. Sleeping soundly in a bassinet was their six-month-old baby boy, Jonathan Eric Rabb. She smiled tenderly and gently brushed the faint wisps of hair on his head.

She had thought that she wouldn't ever be able to be with child, but here was her baby, right in front of her. The fact that she was able to conceive had surprised them, but it had made them extremely happy. They were a real family now, her, Harm, Mattie and Jonathan.

Life just doesn't get any better than this, she decided.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned, smiling, to face Harm. "Hey, sailor," she said softly, standing on tiptoe to reach his lips. He met her halfway, lowering his head, the way he always did, and they kissed.

They pulled away when they heard the baby cry, and Mac scooped him up into her arms, giving him a kiss on the forehead. Jonathan immediately calmed down, and Harm looked at them fondly.

"Huh," he said thoughtfully, smiling proudly as he looked at his wife and son.

"What?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Well, I was right, wasn't I?"

"About what?"

"Our baby. Your looks, my brains… He's perfect."

THE END