Hello peeps, welcome to the first chapter of a 1 Melee Life: Pikachu! Hope you like da story!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, sadly. All I did was give separate names to the different colours of characters you can get, so technically they aren't mine either. Even Daisy. T.T OK, so I made up the Yellow Team, oh, and the Pika Team, but no one in there belongs to me.

And neither does the cancan.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Pikachu was very, very annoyed.

No, very, very, very annoyed.

He would have yelled, 'Pika chu!' at the person who invented the metal device stuck underneath his chin, a small microchip (It was, in fact, Dr Mario), and he did… and it came out as a very rude word. Embarrassed, Pikachu had hidden under Dr Mario's desk.

For the thing was an auto-translator.

It was fixed and wired the night before, so instead of speaking Pika-ish, Pikachu could now speak English like everyone else… except for maybe Yoshi, who had just gone in for surgery. The last Jigglypuff and a couple of Pichus had already had their surgery for the microchip.

So, the others, now scarred for life, had an idea of what Jigglypuff actually was singing about. Graphic romance. Between her and Articuno, who had also signed up for the new Smash Bros Melee, but disappeared mysteriously after Jigglypuff's surgery. Rumour had it that he had signed up to be a pokemon that emerged randomly from pokeballs.

Pikachu was also annoyed that Ash Ketchum has signed him up for this stupid thing.

Six months ago now.

Ash Ketchum had also Mysteriously Disappeared.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Just at that minute, Melanie came into the dormitory, a room the Pikachus all shared. Melanie was the pokemon, another Pikachu, who unsuspecting humans (that had no idea that Smash Bros is REAL – which it isn't. Dammit.) accidentally chose while being Pikachu, and playing the Green Team – basically a Pikachu with a green hat.

'You're not going to believe this!' she groaned, flopping onto her bed. 'We're facing Grizzelda and Adult Link tomorrow.'

Grizelda was a normal Zelda, but in a… you guessed it, green dress.

'What's so bad about that?' That's what comes out when Pikachu, the normal, yellow, undecorated Pikachu, tries to say 'pika pika!'

'They're level NINE!' moaned Melanie. 'The highest levels we've ever faced – even me – are level THREES and suddenly they turn round and go – oh no, you must get your pika-butts kicked by Grizzy and Linksie!'

Pikachu made a funny noise. The kind of noise you make when trying not to laugh. 'GRIZZY and LINKSIE! The HELL?'

Melanie grinned, for once. 'Yup, my nicknames for them!'

Pikachu tried not to wince and think about the battle tomorrow, but he needed to know some things first. 'Where are we fighting?'

Melanie's smile vanished as she became serious. 'At Hyrule Castle, the ruins we fight in, really,' she replied. 'We've fought melees there before, so we have an advantage… but since it's their home, they can too. Let's go through our advantages. What's the number one rule?'

Pikachu recited, as he had many times before: 'If getting beaten to a pulp, flee to the underground thing with the floating island thing underneath the ruins thing so you don't go blasting off again… thing. So if they try to Smash us upwards, we just get squished against the dirt ceiling. Ouch.'

'And how do we manage to get THEM off, when we can't blast them off?'
'We do side smashes so they go blasting off to the side… if their percentage has gone up enough, of course.'

Melanie nodded. 'And what is the number one rule about Regains?' (A/N: A Regain is what I call the up+B attacks that you use when you've jumped twice and can't get up to the platform/edge you're trying to go on. Like Pikachu does the agility, Sheik and Zelda teleport, Link swings his sword round, etc. Jigglypuff… sings…)

'Never attack them after they do a Regain and they miss the edge of the course, because then, after being attacked, they can jump and Regain again and mostly succeed with getting back onto the course.' (A/N: This has happened to me. The wire people whacked me after I did an up+B attack, and then, even though I was still in the air, I could do attacks in the air and another up+B. I got onto the ledge, BTW.)

'Good,' Melanie nodded again. 'And wha-'

At that moment, Teddy, a Pikachu with a red cap (for the Red Team), came in. 'Hey, Greens, heard you were facing da Nines tomorrow!'

Melanie chewed the inside of her cheek in annoyance. Teddy was often very hyper, and wasn't afraid to make a fool of himself in public. Since he was on the Red Team, he was often partnered up with different Reds, while, as the Pika Team, Melanie and Pikachu were always on the same team, except for when Greenie managed to persuade Falcon to let her do a normal Melee.

The Red Team and the Green Team, (the latter of which the Pika Team was a part of, though it was not like a normal pair in the team) were allies, and enemies with the Blue Team and the newly formed Yellow Team, though the Yellow Team and the Green Team got along better than with their supposed allies, and the Management was reviewing letting them be allies. 'But if that happens,' Melanie had said when the notice was posted up on the board, concerning the debate. 'We might have to fight Teddy one day.'

Not that Teddy was bothered, he was more friendly with his fellow Reds than with the Pika Team.

'You'd better get some training in!' said Teddy.

Melanie groaned for the third time.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

'I really hate this,' said a Peach with chestnut hair, red crown, and a yellow dress. 'I'm always the dummy for training, unless you include Lilac-' the Peach in a purple dress. '- And Whitney.' The Peach with a white crown and dress, also Dr Mario's assistant. 'The others think they're too good, and are off fighting Samus or whatever.'

'Stay quiet!' roared Dr Mario, in charge of the training grounds. Today the training grounds simulated Great Bay, Termina, because someone else had already taken Hyrule. 'You're meant to shut up and let 'em bash you, unless they say otherwise. Do you want a Cruel Melee?'

Daisy chose to stay quiet, because the Dr always chastised her when she said yes. At least you could fight the wire people, and not the other way round. Most of the time.

'I wish Tingle would piss off,' said Lilac thoughtfully, looking up at the man in green with the red balloon. Melanie, sitting on top of the balloon, was forcing Tingle downwards, before the balloon finally popped.

'Hey!' said Daisy. 'If I keep kicking in the air, I can hover! Can you, can you do the can can, can you do the can can, can-'

'I SAID SHADDUP!'

'Aww.'

The turtle, at this moment, disappeared into the water.

'That moon's getting awfully close,' Whitney overcame her silence. At that moment, Melanie pushed her into the water. Whitney immediately did a Regain, stabbing Pikachu with the umbrella, and managed to get back onto the platform. 'There are SKELETON FISH down there!'

'The moon!' Lilac winced.

The moon, with bloodshot eyes, was stopped by four weird giants, and pushed back into the sky.

'Cool!' said Pikachu.

'Will you all SHUT UP?'

'NEVER!'

'YOU WANT AN ASPRIN!'

'Ooh, yes please!'

'… Dammit.'

'Does anyone know how Yoshi has gone?' asked Daisy.

'He just came out of surgery. It was a success, by the way,' replied Lilac.

'Can we start now?' asked Dr Mario.

The girls, except for Melanie, grumbled an agreement.

'OK… START NOW!'

Melanie and Pikachu jumped into action, proceeding to beat the shit out of the girls. Since every single Melee participant had had their shots, none felt much pain when they were beaten up, except for a little bit.

Melanie, crouched on Tingle's balloon, leapt off suddenly onto Lilac below, instantly electrocuting her with a Smash attack, increasing Lilac's already high percentage as she exploded off the side of the course, before reincarnating, grumbling, in the "Heaven" above, flashing slightly. The flashing faded, before Pikachu took over to beat the crap out of her.

'Wait!' shrilled Melanie. Pikachu stopped.

'What is it now?' said Dr Mario, exasperated.

'Can we put the speed to times two, and the girls on evade?'

The "Peaches" happily agreed to evade the pokemon.

'And can you give me a baseball bat?'

The Peaches eyed one another. 'Damn it!' Whitney whispered.

'That it?'

'Yes, thanks Dr Mario.'

'No prob,' with a wicked and slightly evil grin, Dr Mario pressed the start button. He couldn't help laughing at what happened:

'Ooh, ooh ooh!'  Every time a Peach jumped away they made that noise. All they did was jump.

Pikachu and Melanie hurrying across at twice their normal speed, at what looked like the speed of light. Melanie occasionally scoring a home run with her bat.

Because it was all moving so fast, Dr Mario stifled his giggles in the control room of the training lab.

Ten minutes later, panting, Melanie agreed with Dr Mario that they should stop. Lilac and Whitney were covered in bruises from the bat, and Daisy was puffed from running all the time. Dr Mario put the speed back to default, and came inside what used to be Termina (now a blank, white room), and gave the Peaches a potion each, which healed all of their bruises and tiredness from the training.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

'It's dark outside,' Melanie stated the obvious as they exited the lab. Pikachu was glad when the dinner bell finally rang, and Melanie and Pikachu went inside the great hall for food. They seated themselves in their usual, every day place of the Green Team's table, coloured… you guessed it, green. On Pikachu's left was Link, and on Melanie's right was Yoshi, recovered from surgery.

Letting a nervous Pikachu talk to a smirking Link, Melanie talked to Yoshi. 'How did it go?' she asked.

Instead of getting the typical cute sound, she got an unusual cute voice replying: 'It was good. But when I went into the manager's room – you know, the one with the metal detecters? – you should have SEEN the dark looks the security gave me.'

Melanie giggled. 'Happened to me too,' she smiled, fingering the metal device under her chin.

'So,' said Pikachu to Link. 'Why are you, on Green Team, fighting with Grizzelda, also on Green Team, against me and Melanie, ALSO on Green Team?'

Looking smug, Link replied, 'Technically, you're on Pika Team.'

'I'm sitting at this table!'

'OK, so maybe you ARE on Green Team – anyway, the Manager is going to resort every single Team based on relationships and fighting skills. And Level. To even out the competitiveness and winning streaks – all the level nines – except for me and Griz – are in Blue Team, you know? So, that's why all the Teams are going to be fighting each other in the next few days.'

'Even though – speaking as a level three – you are going to FLATTEN us tomorrow? We'll be lucky if we don't die!'

'You have had your shots?'

Pikachu nodded.

'You won't die then. The shots you got when you came prevents you from gaining any permanent damage – including death – via combat within a ten mile radius from the satellite tower. And it prevents serious pain, too.'

'Oh… but that's not going to stop you whipping our butts.'

'I know.'

Silence as Link digged into his mashed potatoes. Pikachu gingerly bit into his onigiri, and glanced at Melanie on his right, still happily chatting to Yoshi. 'Does this mean that there's a chance we won't be on the Pikachu Team any-'

'No, you keep your status at your People Teams. Just maybe not with your same partner. I'm always with Griz, except for the People battles.'

'But Melanie's my permanent partner…' what Pikachu had been told at the beginning of the year didn't make sense. He had been told that it was just because he was on the Pikachu team that he was always permanently with Melanie. He told Link that.

'You must have missed something – you get a permanent Colour partner – except maybe not any longer – and a Really Permanent People partner. You've got Melanie for both. I've got Griz for Colour, and Zinc for People.'

Zinc looked exactly the same as Link, except he was a Blue.

'… How come I didn't realise this for the whole six months I was here?'

'Because you're really dumb?' butted in Melanie.

'?'

'See what I mean? Oh, hi Griz.'

'Hi Melanie.'

'Hi Link.'

'NOW you notice me.'

'What are you talking about?'

'Stuff.'

'OK.'

The end of dinner bell rang, and everyone stood up to make for their dormitories, Pikachu's head buzzing with thought.

ACK! A CLICHÉ! Eh, anyway, hope you likey da story! Next Chappie will be the fight in Hyrule!

And what I meant by People teams – Pikachu Team is a People team with Pikachus, and Samus team is a team with Samuses. Know what I mean?

Good.

R+R.