Robin and Kid Flash aren't dating.
If they were, the team would lose their shit and Kid Flash would be bombarded with tons of questions about how he can date someone whose name he doesn't know, whose eyes he can never see. Kid Flash would be forced to reveal that he does know Robin's identity, that he knew since he was a kid, and that would only put Robin in a very difficult position. The rest of the team would feel betrayed and hurt for being left out and Robin would have to explain why he told KF in the first place, he would have to justify his actions, he'd have to justify the "hey, I trust you, okay? You're my best bro."and Kid Flash doesn't want that. So he's fine with it. Really.
Robin and Kid Flash aren't dating, but neither are Richard Grayson and Wally West.
"Why are you sulking?" They're back to the Wayne Manor and it's safe so Robin takes off his mask and sits on his bed with a tired sigh. Wally usually comes to patrol in Gotham with him when he has nothing better to do, which is always, except for when he's competing at his school's science fair or when he's patrolling with the Flash. They usually have fun, but this night Kid Mouth has been unusually quiet.
It's been awkward.
"I'm not sulking." He says, and sulks even more.
"You refused Alfred's dessert, KF." Dick Grayson crosses his arms. "Just tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing." Wally rolls his eyes at him. "Now... Are we going to make out or what?"
Dick scoffs. "I thought you would never ask."
Wally's on top of him in literally a second and they're kissing and touching everywhere and Dick's smile breaks into giggles because it kind of tickles and Wally's always so eager and intense and he's vibrating under the touches and Dick is happy.
"Aw, Wall-man, miss me much?" He manages to say when they break apart for air.
"Shut up." Wally groans, burying his face into Dick's neck, and begins a trail of lazy kisses to his exposed skin.
Dick closes his eyes and lets himself fall back to the mattress, taking Wally with him. "Make me." He knows it's the lamest thing to say, ever, but he just can't help it. There's just something about Wally that turns him into the sappiest guy in the world, but he's past the point of caring. He's embraced his truth and he's going to take advantage of it; he'll make Wally laugh, accept the challenge and go back to kissing him senseless.
Wally does kiss him, but it's not the kiss Dick was expecting. It's a quick peck on the lips and he's gone before the boy wonder can try kiss him back.
"Wally?" Dick calls as he watches him move away to a sitting position and suddenly remembers that there's something wrong.
"You know, I did miss you." The redhead shrugs.
"I did too." Dick replies and it takes all his might not to ask then why aren't we making the hell out now?
"We see each other everyday, but as Kid Flash and Robin and god, do you know what's like to be always so close to you and not be able to touchyou? It's fucking torture."
Dick sits besides him, their shoulders bump against each other, but he doesn't reach out to him.
"And then there's Dick Grayson and Wally West and you don't even look at me when there's someone else in the room. Don't get me wrong, this whole secrecy thing was amazing at first, but now it just... It always ends with me alone in my room watching you flirt with all these girls at Wayne's charity events on TV and I can't do it anymore."
"What are you saying?" Dick grabs his hand when the other starts fidgeting. He doesn't like where this conversation is going and he just needs it to stop, for a minute.
But he immediately regrets it when it does. Wally's not talking anymore, he's not even looking at him, his eyes fixed on his own running trainers. Wally's quiet and it scares the hell out of him.
"Do you want to... break up?" His throat is so dry it's painful to get the words out.
Wally flinches at the suggestion and Dick feels like he can finally breathe again.
"Just saying that breaking up might make you miss me a lot more." The speedster's reaction makes him bold and Dick brings Wally's hand to his lips, kissing it softly. "So I strongly advise against it." He forces his tone to be light, but he's still worried.
"Can we break up if we're not really dating?" Wally continues to not look at him.
"But we are dating." Dick doesn't let him move away. "I mean... We just don't go on dates, or exchange valentines or... I can't introduce you as my boyfriend to people, but..."
"We don't go out together, period. Not even as friends. There's tons of places at Central City I want to take you, you know, they all mean something to me and I'd like to share it with my boyfriend or with my best friend, but what would Richard Grayson do at Central City with this loser ginger kid?"
"It's not like that."
"Except it is, Dick. You don't go to Central City and when I come to Gotham, we only meet here at the manor. Do you remember when I was offered a scholarship and came to visit your school? I had zero interest about moving, but I thought I would be a good excuse to hang with you as civilians. Then you asked Barbara to show me around, instead. We didn't even have lunch together because when I arrived you were already done and I had to eat with Missy, which was kind of cool, but... I wanted to be with you."
"I had to be discrete."
"You were more than discrete, Dick, you just were... Not there. I mean, is a little hand-holding too much to ask?"
"We're holding hands right now." Wally tries to take his hand back, but Dick is having none of that. He just holds it harder.
"I mean in public."
"Wally, we can't. Do you think I enjoy this? I want to be with you too, but if we hold hands, even if it's like, for five seconds, someone would be able to snap a picture and it would be everywhere. We would be outed."
"And that would be such a bad thing because..." Wally shakes his head and laughs, but this isn't his real laugh, this isn't the careless beautiful laugh that makes everyone's day a bit brighter, that ridiculous laugh Dick fell in love with; this one is fake and it's wrong and Dick absolutely hates it.
"Wally..."
"I mean it." Wally gets up and turns to face his best friend. "There's a bunch of excuses as to how we could have met and fallen in love. Uncle Barry could have been called to Gotham one day and took me with him because it was his day babysitting me and I met you in a park or in the arcade shop or at the movies? We could have met online because we're both in a Kid Flash fan club? Ok, fine, maybe in a Justice League one? Maybe I watched one of you Mathetes competitions and we went for coffee after? I have a list of options and I'm no Batman! I'm sure your mentor could come up with something even more plausible and normal and no one would know the truth or link us to our supeheroes identities." He's gesturing excitedly and Dick recognizes the look he has in his eyes; it's the look he gets when talking about something he loves,something that he's horribly passionate about and Dick wants to curl up and die.
They never used the "l" word before, but it's painfully clear how much Wally loves him and if the ache in his chest is anything to go by, Dick feels the same about him, and that should be enough. But it's not. The stories people would write about them, in case they came out, wouldn't be about love, they would be full of lies and deception. They wouldn't treat them like people, they never did, and Dick's been on the center of this circus more times than he'd like, so why can't Wally just listen to him?
"You don't know what you're asking for. Dude, the press would never let it go."
"I don't care for the press."
"Well, you should! Wally, you don't understand, if you became my boyfriend, I mean, my official boyfriend, your picture and every little thing you do will be on tabloids, on papers, on national television! Are you ready for that? Everyone will know you're Richard Grayson's boyfriend and how do you think those bullies at your school are going to react? They'll have a full day with it! How does that not bother you? And what about your family? How will they handle the lack of privacy? Does your dad even know you're gay?"
"I don't care about any of that, Dick, I'm not just saying this. I thought about it, a lot. Whatever press scandals they make about me, I'll handle them."
"You don't understand." And he really doesn't. Dick is trying to protect him.
"Except I do! I'm not dumb! Why are you treating me like a child and disregarding my thoughts? I'm capable of weighing the pros and cons and deciding what I want, thank you very much, and maybe you think it's better this way, but I can assure you it's...
"Do you know what the cover of Gotham's paper was when Bruce adopted me?" Dick cuts him off.
"I do! Because you told me, dude! It read 'Millionaire Bruce's Wayne new charity case,' and it was horrible, but you both got over it because you know that was not how Bruce ever felt about you." Wally's the one who goes after his hands this time. "Dude, you're my boyfriend, but you're also my best friend. What we have is way stronger than any lie they could ever tell, okay? Nothing will ever break us up." He pauses and his confidence fails, for a second. "Unless you want to break up, because if you do, then, that's fine with me, ha, it's totally okay, bro, uh..."
"I don't." His quick answer makes Wally smile and it's a real smile and Dick think it's ridiculous how it makes everything alright, all of a sudden, when things most definitely aren't. Dick wants to punch him hard in the face, throw him to the nearest wall and kiss him until it hurts.
"I don't want us to hide it anymore, Dick." Wally says and it's cruel because the way the speedster says his name is so full of hope and love it breaks Dick's entire resolve, it makes him believe it's enough, for a moment, but the moment eventually ends, as do all things. "We're doing nothing wrong, so we shouldn't hide."
"I'm sorry, Wally. But my answer's still no."
Wally lets his hands go and Dick closes them into fists.
"So that's it? I open my heart to you and the answer's no? Are you... Are you ashamed of me or something?
Dick snaps because how dare he.
"How dare you say I'm ashamed of you? I'm doing this for you, to protect you!"
"Did I ask for your protection? What's the worst thing they can do to me? Out me to my family? Dick, I've moved in with uncle B when I was twelve, I barely talk to my father anymore. Also, I'm pretty sure uncle B knows, he keeps dropping all those stupid hints at me, it's very annoying, but kind of amusing too. So, what else? Give the bullies at Central City High a real reason to call me a fag? They've always done it, even when Linda and I fake-dated for a while! And I'm done caring about what people say about me! What more can they do, huh?"
"So you're saying you'd be totally fine if they called you 'prince of Gotham's new boy toy' on national television? You'd be completely fine, you'd go 'yeah, okay, whatever'?" Dick is yelling back at him. In six years of friendship they never had a falling out like this, he's never had Wally so angry at him before, he's never felt so much anger, himself.
"Well, it would make a nice change to actually be called a boytoy, instead of just felling like one!"
Dick has been shot in the chest before, and it's nothing compared to this.
"What?" He gasps.
"It's always the same thing. You call me. I drop everything and go to you. We make out. I go back home. And repeat. It's always you who call, you're the one who chooses when it's appropriate for us to meet up." He laughs and it's that horrible laugh again. "When I call you because I miss you or because I want to see you, you have to check your schedule to see if you can fit me in somewhere between being Dick Grayson and Robin and that's... How do you think that makes me feel? Am I some sort of stress relief that you can call whenever you want because I'm just too dumbly in love with you that I'll do anything you want me to? Well, maybe I am. But it sucks." Wally's voice breaks at the end and he turns away, raising both his hands to his face.
Dick clenches his fists so hard his nails dig deep into his skin and it hurts. It hurts a whole lot more because he wanted the pain to wake up from this nightmare, but it doesn't. It's real. It's all really happening. This is how Wally feels. This is how he made Wally feel.He has to use the bed to steady himself as he realizes he's shaking so bad he's about to fall apart.
"And it sucks a whole lot more that this is how I first tell you I love you, huh? Worst timing in the history of ever." Wally turns back to look at him and he's smiling and it's wrong. Wrong. Wrongwrongwrong. "It's okay, you don't have to say it back or anything. I mean, we're not even dating."
"No." Dick finally snaps back at the reality because Wally's fidgeting with his leg and he's ready to run and he can't let his best friend thinking he doesn't care. "Wally, it's nothing like that, at all. Please, I... I love you too." The words are out and it's easier than he thought it would be and he wants to punch himself in the face for taking so long to say it, for not saying it every time he thought it, for not saying it instead of "you're my best bro," or "I trust you," or "hey there, KF, how's it going? Every time Wally came to a room and smiled his real world-brightening smile at him.
"Thanks." The redhead blinks and dries his tears away with the back of his hands. "Thank you for saying it."
"Wally..." He could have said it so many times before, but he gets to say it now, when Wally won't believe him.
"I gotta go, uncle B's probably worried out of his mind right now. See ya, Rob." Wally speeds off through the door and Dick is left alone in his room.
He'll probably see Kid Flash the next day on Mt. Justice, but as Robin, and Wally knows that. Wally called him "Rob," not "Dick." Dick Grayson and Wally West aren't going to be talking for some time. Dick Grayson and Wally West are not even supposed to know each other. They aren't friends. They aren't dating.
He only realizes he's crying when the tears fall down from his face to his hands. Dick Grayson loves Wally West, but he's ruined them before they even had a chance.
xxx
Wally West isn't talking to him and neither is Kid Flash. The speedster asked to be off the team for a week because of finals and Dick gets mad because it's the lamest excuse ever when you're a freaking genius, he gets mad because it's easy to get angry at Wally for not wanting to see him than thinking about how the only person he'd like to talk to doesn't want to talk to him at all.
Dick is so not done punching walls and kicking boxes, but he forces himself not to because both times he did it, in the last week, he ended up talking about his feelings with Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, of all people, and he is still a bit weirded out by the conversations.
They both were extremely understanding and supportive and it's so weird.
Specially because he never told anyone about him liking boys, or Wally. They just knew and they were apparently okay with it. Batman and Catwoman were in agreement.And maybe that's Batman's paranoia talking, but he can't shake the feelings that there's more to it than they let on. He forces the thought out of his mind because whatever is going on, he has other problems. More important problems.
Like being a better boyfriend to the guy he's not dating.
"I said don't move, Master Richard." Alfred sighs and continues to wrap a bandage on the boy's hand.
"Sorry, Al." Dick shrugs and reaches for his cellphone when he feels it vibrate in his pocket.
There are seven messages and his heart races when he reads Wally's name.
Hey Dick I was just thinking about the stuff you said and all the 'newest boytoy' shit and then it hit me WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NEWEST?"
Dick can't help, but snort and ends up apologizing to Alfred for the sudden movement. He quietly scrolls down to read the other messages.
ARE THERE OTHER BOYTOYS HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS IS UNNACCEPTABLE LIST ME ALL THEIR NAMES AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS ASAP
and their adresses 2 pls I'm not super good at hacking like you are you dumbass
well fuck them I'm still the prettiest right RIGH T
RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON YOU TELL ME I'M PRETTY RIGHT NOW OR I MIGHT DIE
or I might tell the world you're middle name is john because DUUUUUDE SO BORING john john john ugh
SCRATCH THAT I HAVE THE PERFECT THREAT YOU TELL ME I'M PRETTY OR I'LL JUST CALL YOU JOHN WHILE WE'RE MAKING OUT I SWEAR TO GOD DICK DON'T PUSH ME
Dick's smile is so big it hurts the side of his cheeks a little, but it's a nice kind of hurt because that's just so Wally and he's missed him so much this past few days it's ridiculous.
Dude, KF, you are the prettiest, ever. You're so gr8, you're like gr9. Ha. Another point in your favor is that you exist and they don't, as in the media made them up.Dick pauses for a second, but then keeps on typing. Also, you're not a boytoy and I love you.He sends it and closes his eyes. This wasn't how he was planning to apologize. His plan involved Wayne's charity gala this friday, the media and all the food in Wayne manor for when Wally runs there all the way from Central after Dick outs them on national television, but he can't help it. Friday's taking so long to arrive and Wally's finally talking to him right now after a horrible week of nothing.
He can't let Wally hanging, he can't let the redhead think he doesn't care. Dick needs to tell his boyfriend he loves him until Wally believes him. So he can do it today, and tomorrow and on friday and forever.
"Yes!" He cheers when his phone vibrates with a new message because the immediate answer's gotta be a good sign, right? Alfred raises an eyebrow, but purposely doesn't comment on his sudden change of mood and Dick wonders if he too already knows.
You big DORK why are you so keen on murdering the english language ugh go away I hate you so much and by hate I mean I love you too and by love I mean I love you so much you're making me blush STAHP
The boy wonder laughs, but he's quick to reply.
Me? Murdering the english language? Bro, have you heard of something called commas? I hear they are very useful when you don't want someone to go out of air while reading your texts out loud.
If you love commas so much why don't you DATE THEM INSTEAD ◕‿◕✿
Dick is half-way through a witty comeback when his phone vibrates again.
Can I call you?
"Alfred, do you mind if I go? I need to do something really important." Dick gets up, but pauses before leaving the room.
"Not at all, Master Dick. I'm done here. Just please let me know if we're having Master Wallace over so I can prepare his dinner." The butler nods and smiles at him. He knows. Of course he knows. Dick is actually very glad he knows.
Dick gives him a hug before running back to his room. But when he gets there, he doesn't text Wally. He calls him.
"Pro-activeness." Wally answers after the first ring and Dick feels his legs melt with relief. "I like that."
"Hey." Dick smiles to himself and presses his cell phone closer to his ear. He can hear Wally breathing right into it and he feels his chest getting warm. After the horrible silence he had to deal with for five days and a half, it feels awesome.
Dick looks through the window and realizes he could be feeling awemost. Aweall, even.
xxx
Wally speed debates with himself if he should answer Dick after his phone rings for the first time. He ends the mental discussion with a curse because you're the one who wanted to talk to him in the first place don't chicken out now.
"Pro-activeness. I like that." He answers it and tries not to panic. Dick called him. Dick wanted to talk to him. Dick missed him. Maybe Dick really lo... No, don't go there.
"Hey." Dick's voice is soft and happy and god, Wally had missed him so much and it's been only one week... How pathetic is that? "So, how have you been?" Dick asks, after a long pause.
"What's that?" Wally frowns because there's some background noise going on his boyfriend's end, which he can't identify and it makes him grow worried. "Dick, where are you?"
"I'm just climbing things." He answers and Wally snorts.
"Dude. I'm sure Batman won't mind if you stop training for a few minutes."
"If he does, I'm telling him you're at fault here."
"Well, then, it was nice knowing you, Dick. Please lie to our friends and tell them I died a heroic death and not crying and begging for my life."
"I promise to make them cry with my whelmed made up story. I might even cry a little myself to make it more real."
"You're the best bro a bro could ask for." Wally answers and it's so easy to fall back into their usual banter, he's tempted to forget all about their fight and just enjoy this, but he can't.
Wally's a speedster. Things around him move in an extremely slow pace and it usually annoys the shit out of him, but this thing he has with his best friend? Dick makes every nanosecond worth it, even when he's asleep, and Wally wants it to last. He needsit to last so he won't let it be ruined just because they didn't talk things through.
"Dick." Wally refuses to allow it to happen. Not to them. "We need to talk."
"Yup." Comes the reply. "But I kinda have to hang up now. Gimme, like, 20 seconds and I'll call you back, promise." He doesn't wait for the redhead's reply, he just hangs up and Wally's left with this horrible feeling on the pit of his stomach that maybe it's too late. Maybe Dick just doesn't care as much as he does.
Wally grabs both his knees and tries to get the spasms to stop, fully conscious that if he manages to slow it down, he'll be damn lucky because the more nervous he gets, the worse the tic gets.
It takes twenty three seconds for his cellphone to go off again and Wally wants to yell at him, wants to call him a liar and hang up on him so he can know how it feels, but he doesn't.
"LookdudeIgetitthatmaybeyourejustnot-" He speed talks, instead.
"KF, Wally, Wally!" Dick cuts him off. "I can't understand you. Take a deep breath and slow down."
It takes all of Wally's power and resolve to do so. Sometimes he gets caught up in his own speed without even noticing and every time it happens, it gets harder for him to slow down so he lets the boy wonder guide him back, despite still being a little mad at him.
"I'm fine now. Thanks."
"It's okay. Now you were saying we need to talk?"
"We do. Dick, listen to me for a minute, okay? I really need to get it out of my chest and I thought about it for a long time and I just need you to listen. Don't hang up on me, okay?" He waits for the affirmative reply and takes another deep breath to ready himself. "Look, maybe we're too different, maybe we just don't fit together and we'll have to break up eventually, but I can't give up on us without even trying! And... And... I understand where you're coming from with all the secrecy and where Batman's paranoia comes from and it's okay. I mean, I'm not saying all this doesn't bother me anymore, because it does, but I'm willing to go with it."
"Wally."
"No, Dick. One minute, remember? Let me finish." Wally doesn't let the other interrupt him. "I'm willing to compromise because that's what people in relationships do, right? That's what people who love each other do. I've been thinking about this a lot these past few days and I've been paying attention to stuff.Look, I've always considered Uncle B and aunt I to be the most perfect couple ever, but I don't think it's exactly fun for Aunt Iris to be married to a superhero. Barry was late for their wedding, for heaven's sake and every night he goes patrolling, she stays home and waits for him. Someday he may not return to her, and she knows it, but she still waits because she loves him too much not to. She compromises and it might suck, but she does it because uncle B is worth it. And I just... Uh, is my minute over? Can I have another one?"
"Yeah. Take how many more minutes you need."
"The point is, I don't think that "perfect couples" exist, anymore. I think it's okay we had a fight and I think we'll have many others in the future. But I believe we'll get through them, we'll have tons of make up sex and it's gonna be so awesome we'll high-five after. I love you, man. I love you a lot and I understand, I really do. So I'm saying I'm okay with hiding for now. I'll wait until you're ready to come out to the press. I'll wait, but, not forever, though, I intent to marry you someday and you can't take my fairytale wedding at Disneyland away from me. So, you know, you're free to break up with me if you think you'll never change your mind, or if you think I'm too clingy and that it was creepy of me to have our wedding already planned, but do it for the right reasons, not because you think you're protecting me or that I'll be better off without you. This is my choice and I took it. So, uh, what do you think?"
"I think you could open up your window and let me in."
Wally almost chokes on air.
"Wha- What?"
"The window, Walls, I'm waiting."
Wally turns to the window so fast he hits the bed and falls down to the floor, but quickly gets up and meets Dick's blue eyes through the glass. After a split second of tense silence, Dick laughs at him and Wally soon follows because:
"Dude. What the fuck?" He lifts the window and lets the other in.
"I've missed you, so I zeta'ed from Gotham and sneaked up on you, in the middle of the night. Wait, is this creepy or adorable?" Dick breathes out through gritted teeth.
"Oh, my god. That's why you had to hang up on me. You were zeta-travelling here." Everything is falling into place and Wally gasps. "Also, how did you climb out of your room with..." His eyes focus on Dick's bandage. "And how did that happen?"
"Hey, I'm Robin, I'm pretty sure I could climb out of anything. But I should know that punching through walls doesn't come with being Batman's sidekick. That's more, like, down kriptonian's alley, right?" He shrugs.
"Dick." Wally reaches for his hand, and stares dumbly at him like he can't believe he's there. "You came all the way here because you missed me? What if you had been caught? I mean, Dick Grayson in Central City might be a little hard to explain, but Dick Grayson breaking and entering some guy's house, that's... That's bad."
"I've been careful. Plus, I couldn't wait, Wally. I hate this, I hate not being able to talk to you, I hate not being close to you and I hate being close to you and not knowing if it's okay for me to kiss you and..." He doesn't get to end this sentence because Wally's lips are suddenly on his.
"I've missed you too, boy wonderful." Wally's smiling . "And it's always okay for you to kiss me. Always."
Dick lets himself melt right into the speedster's embrace. Wally's there and Wally's hugging him and kissing him and he forgets he's halfway across the country from home.
"And, you know, I meant every world I said, Dick. I need you to be okay with it."
"I am." Dick buries his face in the curve of Wally's shoulder. "I am okay because I have the best boyfriend in the world."
Wally laughs, mostly because Dick's hair tickles, and he pushes the boy over to the bed, lying by his side. "So I guess it's my time to say 'no you are the best bf ever' and then you'll go 'I'm not, you are, shut up,' and then I'll go 'make me,' so why don't we skip all the clichés and make out already? I'm dying here, man. This week felt like an entire year."
Dick kisses him again and again and again, for good measure.
xxx
Dick's alarm goes off when it's still dark and the boy wonder groans and wonders why the fuck he set it to such an ungodly hour. He hits the snooze button fast, rolls in his bed and never notices that his pillow fell down to the floor because his boyfriend's chest is so warm it proves to be a much better place to rest his head. He's fast asleep in a second.
The second time it goes off, Dick forces himself to wake up just enough to turn the alarm off, instead of hitting snooze five more times. His clock says it's ten past five in the morningand it's ridiculous because he usually sets it to six thirty in a school's day so he can have breakfast with Bruce and get ready for his morning classes. He's about to change it when an arm wraps itself around his waist and suddenly Wally's lips are moving against his neck.
"Turn the damn thing off, babe." His voice is groggy and annoyed, but it doesn't take him long to fall back asleep and Dick remembers where he is.
He's not at Gotham, he went to Central City last night because Wally was mad at him and they needed to talk. He remembers Wally talking really fast and then really slow, he remembers Wally smiling and being amazing. They felt asleep cuddled together and now Dick has to untangled himself from possessive limbs. He needs to zeta back to Gotham before the sun comes up because the streets are currently empty and the risks of being recognized are low, but the thing is, he doesn't want to.
He rolls in the bed in order to face Wally, and moves some of his messy hair away from his eyes. The redhead blinks twice at him, valiantly fighting against the inhuman weight of his eylashes, but eventually succumbs. The third time he blinks, he doesn't reopen his eyes and Dick can't help the smile that takes over his face.
He wants to kiss Wally's eyelids and his forehead, and his cheeks and lips and every inch of his face untill Wally wakes up and starts kissing back.
He wants to snuggle against the other and let sleep take him so he can wake up all over again and see his boyfriend's stupid beautiful face first thing in the morning.
He wants to keep booping Wally's nose in retaliation for being called "babe" and record a video of Wally's sleepy and pathetic attempts to brush him off because his groggy complaints are the cutest thing ever and also because Dick can never have enough blackmail material on him.
He wants to stare at a sleeping Wally until he decides if his boyfriend looks adorable or so damn hot because he can't be both at the same, he just can't. It's not fair to anyone else in the world.
Dick sits up on the bed, instead, and watches Wally curl up in a ball, unconsciously missing the warmth of another body next to him. The boy wonder is suddenly very sure that this is the most evil thing he has ever done, in his entire life.
He lets the guilt of being a bad boyfriend wash all over him for an entire second before remembering that they've talked last night and sorted things out. Wally would understand. Wally would be okay with it.
The relief he expects to come with the memory never does and he just feels worse, which is absurd. Wally wouldn't be mad at him for leaving, for doing what he must to keep their relationship a secret from the press.
Wally's okay with it, so why isn't Dick? Why does he feel like there's a giant titanium robot stomping on his chest? It's similar to how he felt every time he watched KF flirt with the girls on the team, except it shouldn't be because it's a completely different situation. They're together now and they are supposed to be happy, they deserve to be happy.
Brushing these thoughts aside, Dick quietLy climbs out of the window, pulls his hoodie up to cover his face and runs two blocks, to where the zeta tube is hidden. It doesn't take him longer than ten minutes to get to his own room at Wayne manor.
It's unusually cold. He could still have at least a whole hour of sleep until he gets up to school, so he automatically moves to his bed and closes his eyes.
But he can't sleep.
xxx
The morning goes by extremely slow and Dick's annoyed at everything. He's annoyed at how he can't seem to focus during any of his classes, he's annoyed at how tired he is because he could have slept his normal amount of hours, but he didn't. He's annoyed at Barbara's hey what's wrong you're acting like Garfield on a monday,he's annoyed at her because, jokes aside, she actually worries that's something really wrong with him, but mostly he's annoyed at himself because there's nothing wrong, he's just having a bad day.
Kid Flash greets him at Mount Justice with the biggest smile in his face and Dick lets himself believe that things might go uphill from there. But they don't. Batman comes and sends them on a mission and it sucks. The bad guys surrender pretty quickly when the team corners them and the hostages are all very ungrateful, there's even one that complains, saying they took their sweet time.
It takes all of Robin's might not to snap at him for taking superheroes for granted, for implying that they are bad at their jobs because there's actually no one paying them to do this, they risk their lives everyday and they do it willingly and selflessly because they want to help and hey, a little 'thanks' now and then wouldn't hurt, would it? It takes almost blowing up at a civilian for him to realize that maybe there's something really wrong with him.
He excuses himself to his room back at the cave and Kid Flash follows him. He knows Wally would be all over him if they were alone, but they can never really be alone at Mt. Justice when one of their teammates has super hearing.
"Hey, what's up with you today? You seem off." Wally's trying to hide his worry, but he's terrible at it. Dick usually excels at it, but today there's definitely something wrong and he can only hope that he can keep the annoyance out of his voice when he shrugs and says:
"It's nothing."
"Dude." Kid Flash crosses his arms and Dick is horrified when he's hit in the face with the realization that he's annoyed at Wally for caring, for being a good boyfriend. He's mad that Wally's not mad at him anymore.
"I'm just having a bad day." He tries again and is grateful at Wally when he indulges him and lets it go. "So, do you wanna come over later?" He boldly asks, in a whisper.
Wally blinks, surprised at the question. There's always been an unspoken rule between them that they're not supposed to talk about those things on uniforms, but Dick's too tired to care.
"We could play some videogames or have a movie night, it's been a while since we had one." He can't help, but let his mind wonder back to their last movie night and to his promise to pick a bad movie for the next one because they'll end up not watching it anyway.
"Uh, sorry, Rob. Flash wants me patrolling with him tonight." Wally takes his hand and squeezes it, trying to convey something to the movement the can't put into words.
"Maybe I can come by later?"
Wally actually gapes at him before going "I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, we really shouldn't risk someone recognizing you one more time."
Dick wants to hit his head against the wall because of course.
"Tomorrow, then?" He hates how they're still whispering. They aren't doing anything wrong, but all this sneaking around makes it sounds like they are.
"Bro, tomorrow you have Gotham stuff to attend to." Wally's concern grows when Dick only stares blankly at him. "The Wayne annual charity gala, some cheap super villain could try to ruin it and it's the dynamic duo's job to make sure he won't."
"Gotham doesn't have cheap super villains. Is it possible you're thinking about Central City's Rogues?" Dick looks away and tries to change the subject because he completely forgot about that tomorrow's Friday.
"Excuse me?! My super villains are great!" Kid Flash fake outrages and dramatically throws himself at Dick.
The boy wonder takes his chance and brings his boyfriend's head to his lap. Wally fights him by trying to bite off Dick's fingers, but offers no other forms of resistance.
"You know I'd rather spend quality bro time with my best bro than babysit stupid rich kids and their stupid rich families, right?"
"Pfffff." Kid Flash shifts to get comfortable and actually purrs like a cat when Dick's hands start going softly thought his hair. "The feeling's not mutual, dude, I'd blow you off for an invite in, like, a nanosecond, without any remorse. Plus, Richard Grayson will be there and he's so hot I just..."
Dick stops abruptly and gets up, almost pushing the redhead off to the floor.
"Robin! What the fuck's the matter with you?" Kid Flash recovers quickly and tries his best not to yell. "I was... I was joking." He looks angry and confused and annoyed because they can't do it here, on mount Justice, they need to mind their words carefully so they can't really talk.
"I should head back to Gotham." Dick bites down hard at his lip and turns away. He knows that Wally meant nothing by it, he knows it was only a joke, but. It. Wasn't. Funny. "I'll call you later, okay?"
He doesn't.
xxx
Barbara Gordon watches her father shake Bruce Wayne's hand out of the corner of her eyes and refusesto let her gaze wander to where Dick Grayson is because she bets he's still sulking at the same spot he's been sitting since the beginning of the party. She looks at him and goes from worried to mad very quickly.
"That's it." She gets up, walks towards him and pulls him from the chair at Wayne's table and drags him to a corner of the saloon. "Your brooding just got out of control so it allows me to invoke rule number 141 of the best friend code. You are now obligated to tell me what the hell is wrong with you. So spit."
Dick Grayson does not whine, but it's a close call when he sees some guy with a camera pretending to be taking pictures of his friends when he's actually recording Dick and Barbara's every action.
"Excuse me, I need to go accidently bump into that guy so hard his camera's gets smashed." He tries to go past her, but she doesn't let him get very far.
"No." Barbara stops him with a hand in his shoulder, pushing him back to the wall. "You stay where you are and tell me what's upsetting you so much."
"That guy's upsetting me and the fact that tomorrow we will be all over the tabloids! Also, the fact that they'll be calling you a slut or a gold digger or a cheater or..."
"Don't make this about me, I'm fine." She just blinks at him.
"And what about Jason? Is he fine with that?" He knows it's a low blow to bring Barbara's boyfriend into this because he knows his friendship with Barbara is a sore stop for the guy and that the couple had fought more than once about the rumors about Dick and her being more than friends.
"Don't be an obtuse jerk, rule 7 allows me to hit you in the head if you are. Jason and I are okay now, we've talked about it and he trusts me. What is this really about?" She crosses her arms and stares down at him. "Is your boyfriendfine with it?"
"My... what?" Dick stutters.
"Your secret boyfriend, the ginger science genius you tried so hard to avoid when he came to check out Gotham Academy's program early this year, even thought he wasn't interested at all in what our school had to offer." Barbara has the smuggest of smiles on her face. "It was really obvious that something was up between you two."
"His name's Wally." Being a hero taught Dick to choose his battles wisely and to accept the ones he can't win.
"Dick, if he chooses to believe some lame-ass story a tabloid prints, then he's an idiot and he doesn't deserve..."
"That's not it." Dick cuts her off, gently. "He says he doesn't care what the press has to say and he's very understanding."
"Why are you mad at your boyfriend for being understanding? That's a good thing, right?"
Barbara asks the question that's been on his mind since yesterday and Dick wants to dig a hole in the floor where he can just lay down and die because that's preferable than thinking about what the fuck is wrong with him.
"I'm not mad at him. I mean, I kind of am." He finally admits it and it feels like fog lifting from his own mind. Now that he isn't trying so hard to pretend everything is okay, he can think more clearly about why he was so mad in the first place. "It's just... Secret relationships are hard."
"So why keep it a secret, then?"
Dick only manages to stare back at her, feeling the betrayal break whatever was left inside his chest, because she was supposed to understand. She's been on the spotlight herself more times than she'd like, being the Comissioner's daughter and Dick Grayson's classmate and friend.
"Look, Dick, I understand your reasons to be mistrustful of the press, I really do. Being in the public's eye sucks, but making your boyfriend believe you're ashamed of him when you think you're protecting him might not be the smartest move. You two need to talk things out." She smiles when the defensive stand he took so often crumbles the minute he realizes she's got a point.
"We did." Dick sighs and he seems confused and worried and hurt, all at once; Barbara is happy that he trusts her enough to let his mask drop and be honest about his own feelings with her. She's also very happy because she loves being right. "And he's fine with keeping a secret for longer."
"Oh, then, everything's okay, right?"
Except it wasn't.
"I mean, we had a pretty bad fight about it some days ago. When I say bad, I don't mean yelling or throwing things at each other because we didn't do any of that, we just... He was so hurt." He pauses as if the memory physically pains him. "I hurt him, Babs. I hurt him and he left and I was so scared it was over between us, I was ready to... To tell everyone about us, to make a press release and go on stupid talk shows to talk about how much I liked him. I even talked to Bruce about actually doing it and he gave me his blessing. I was really going to do it."
"But you did none of these things." She presses when he falls silent again.
"I didn't have to. He texted me, a few days later, and we met and we talked and he was amazing.He was incredibly understanding. Sure, he was still uncomfortable with being treated like a dirty secret, but he compromised. For me. He compromised because he loves me and it just... It makes me so... Angry."
Barbara takes his hands in hers and she thinks she's beginning to understand.
"It makes me angry because he shouldn't have done that. He hates it, all the secrecy, the sneaking around, it hurts him so he shouldn't settle for it. I don't want him to hurt anymore, I don't want him to think I'm ashamed of him or that he comes second place in my life. I want him to be happy, I want to make him happy. I want to go to Central City meet him and let him give me a tour of the Flash museum and listen to him gush about everything. I want him to be able to come visit me so I can take him to my favorite places here in Gotham, I want be able to hold his hand and kiss him whenever I feel like it. I want to invite him over to these galas and to dance with him and laugh at him because he would suck at dancing so badly, oh my god." Dick stop his monologue to look at her and blinks. "Babs, I am in love with my boyfriend."
The realization leaves him breathless.
Dick Grayson knew he loved Wally West. He loved how funny and playful and clever and dumb and ridiculous the redhead was. He loved him the day they met, he loved him so much he trusted him with his identity, he loved seeing him smile and making him smile and kissing every single one of those stupid goofy smiles. Dick always knew he loved him, but only now he understood what it actually meant.
He doesn't have to do anything, Wally's asking nothing of him, there's no risk of them breaking up anymore, but he wants to.
"Oh, Dick." Barbara strengths the grip on his hand. "You are so dumb." He laughs, throwing his head all the way back, and pulls her into a tight hug. She recovers from her surprise quickly and hugs him back. But the embrace doesn't last long. In the next minute, she's pushing him away. "Go get him, tiger."
xxx
When Wally gets home, he makes a vow not to watch some livestream of Wayne's charity gala. He's tried to stop watching it many times before because he knows that watching how hot Dick Grayson looks on a suit and watching him talk and smile and dance with a bunch of lame-ass rich kids and feeling excruciantly jealous of those kids just for being there, with him does him no good.
He doesn't want to spend another pathetic night feeling horny and jealous and alone, so he's not watching it, this time. He's going to spend this one angry and confused and alone, instead.
He lasts two whole hours before he finally turns his laptop on and finds the link. Dick has been such a, well, dick, today, and he's still gonna watch him at the gala because Wally's a little shit who enjoys suffering. But he takes some comfort on the fact that he missed the first thirty minutes of it.
"Hey, kid." Barry enters his room, bringing a giant pot of ice cream and two spoons.
"Did I tell you're a wonderful person today, uncle B?" Wally brightens up immediately and goes for the spoon, eating a mouthful of ice cream in only one go.
Barry waits patiently Wally speed eat half of the ice cream before going:
"Good, so now that we've established that, maybe you could tell me why are you sulking so much?"
"Traitor." Wally hisses, but keeps eating because priorities."You brought me ice-cream with ulterior motives, that's evil."
"Get over it, kid." Barry laughs and puts an arm around his neck, pulling him close to his chest like he did when Wally was little. "Now, are you ready to tell me what got you down?"
Wally tries to escape him, for a minute, because he's not a kid anymore and this is humiliating. On the next minute, the redhead is hugging him back and gettin comfortable in his uncle's shoulder.
"I had a stupid fight with Dick." He says and rubs his eyes against Barry's shirt because he feels like he's about to cry and he refuses to do so.
"What happened?" Barry's hand goes up to the kid's back to pet him.
"I don't even know. I thought we were okay." He worked so hard to make sure they were okay after their stupid fight #1, but he didn't even get twenty-four hours of okay before everything shattered and they had stupid fight #2.
"Hey, why is Dick doing interviews? Is the night already over?" Barry frowns and Wally's up in a second, focusing on the video playing on his computer.
This is weird. Except for the people recording the event and broadcasting it, the rest of the press stays outside, waiting for the night to be over, waiting to get a few words out of Mr. Wayne and his ward when they walk to their limo.
But the cameras are all undoubtedly showing Dick Grayson, his dark hair turned light by all the flashes. Everyone's speaking at the same time and it's hard to understand, but Dick smiles his best smile and grabs one of the microphones people are shoving to his face. He answers the questions the best that he can; he thanks everyone for coming, comments on the designer of his suit, mentions his next mathletes competition and cracks some joke about how bad he is at dancing, which is a ridiculous lie, but makes the reporters laugh so it serves its purpose.
Wally watches the scene play out with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knows Dick is up to something, he's even smirking, for goodness sake, and not knowing why makes him sick with worry and anticipation. There's a part of his brain that's squealing and yelling that maybe dick's going to talk about him, that he's going to come out, and the other part of Wally's brain wants to vibrate its hand through the first one's chest and rip its heart away so it can beat it to death with a stick for filling him with horrible, horrible hope.
"Yes, I'm having a lot of fun tonight." He listens to Dick answer one of the reporters, but Wally missed the question because he was too busy wanting to curl up and die. "I only wish my boyfriend were here, thought."
Wally freezes, but everything else explodes.Everyone's talking and yelling at the same time, asking Dick for a name, age, backstory, begging him for anything more, and suddenly Bruce Wayne's there with a bunch of security guards that are making way through the crowd.
"No comments." Bruce's saying and who would think the 'bruce-glare' could be more terrifying than the 'batglare'?
In less then two minutes Bruce and Dick have entered the limousine and drove away, but everyone's still screaming and Wally remembers how to move.
He runs back to the living room and turns the TV on. Dick's face is almost on every channel and at the ones where it isn't, the people are talking about him, everyone's debating over who the mysterious boyfriend is.
"Aunt Iris!" Wally yells for her and she is by his side in an instant. "Please tell me this is really happening" He has to ask because this could all a dream, maybe the bad guys finally got to him and knocked him out and now he's in a coma and dreaming all this. The other possibility is that he just went completely mad and it's a very plausible one so he needs to know.
"Wow." Iris says, but anything she was going to add is cut off by Barry's:
"Kid, what are you waiting for? Go to him!"
"B-b-but what if he was talking about another boyfriend? What if he was talking about a boy, who's also a friend and I'm overthinking this because it could be anyone and... And..." He's shaking so hard, he's gonna start vibrating soon and that will leave him with a bloody nose, best case scenario.
"Wally." Barry suppresses his scoff because he knows his nephew is actually freaking out. "Kid, take a deep breath and think about it. You know Dick wouldn't be so cruel to make a joke out of this, specially when he knows it means so much to you, okay? He was talking about you and you need to go to him, like, now."
Wally nods and runs. He's almost out of Central City when he stops and runs back.
"Oh, my god, uncle B, how did you know about me and Dick?" He asks, breathless because they've worked so hard and been so careful to keep it a secret.
"Well, I didn't know, Iris had to tell me." Barry shrugs and puts an arm around his wife's waist.
Iris just smiles at him and Wally feels his legs turn to jelly.
"And you're... you're both okay with that? With me, uh, liking boys? I know you joke a lot about it, but now that you know it's true..."
Barry doesn't even try to suppress his scoff this time. "Kid. Just go. It's not wise to keep a loved one waiting. Trust me, I know."
"We love you." Iris nods and pets his hair when Wally hugs them both.
Wally runs and this time he only stops when he's hanging at Dick's window, desperately trying not to fall down to his death before kissing Dick senseless because that would be really unfortunate.
"You know you could have used the front door, right?" Dick pulls him inside and he's still wearing his suit and Wally has to take a moment to drool all over him.
"I wasn't exactly thinking." He composes himself. "I just ran all the way up here and, you know, forgot about gravity and stuff."
"You are the dumbest nerd I've ever met." Dick says and it's fond, but he doesn't risk closing the gap between them, no matter how much he wants to.
"Hey." Wally pouts just because he has a reputation to uphold, but eventually looks away, when he feels his face heat up. "So, uh, I hear you have a boyfriend."
"You heard right." Dick replies. "The press is going insane trying to find out who it is. Most of my classmates have been ruled out because they were at the gala and my favorite guess is that me and Jason Bard are cheating on Barbara." He scoffs and gestures for Wally to sit next to him on the bed.
"So what about you giving me the scoop, then?" Wally pretends to have missed the invitation and starts to pace around the room. "What can you tell me about this mysterious boyfriend of yours?"
"Well, okay." Dick smiles his biggest truest smile and Wally would have regret asking him if it wasn't such a beautiful sight. "My boyfriend's a freckled soulless ginger, who I've known for ages. He was my first friend, my first rival and my first crush. We've spent years pining over each other before getting together because his stupidity kept rubbing off on me and I was so afraid of losing what we had over some ridiculous selfish feelings that kept craving for more. But even before we started dating, he's always been there for me, making me laugh at the most inappropriate times, even thought he isn't funny at all, or keeping me grounded by questioning my actions and objectivity when no one else would."
Wally stops pacing, but he still refuses to look Dick in the eye, so the boy wonder forces himself to keep going.
"My boyfriend's a flirt and a tease and a horrible dork who comes up with the stupid most endearing petnames ever, it's so annoying. But, at the same time, he cares so much. He's understanding and loving and perfect. He's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with."
"Dude. If that's your way to tell me you're cheating on me, that's cruel and horrible and you shouldn't do that."
"Have I told you how he's not funny? Specially when he's being obtuse and self-depreciative." Dick gets up and goes to him, taking the redhead's face in his hands. "Wally, it's you. It has always been you, okay?"
"God, Dick, you didn't have to do it for me." Wally tries not to cry, which ends with him basically sobbing at his boyfriend's face because that's his life.
"I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. Because I wanted to." Dick brushes his lips against his boyfriend's and enjoys the soft pressure. "Also, you've got nothing to worry about. Bruce's on the case, he'll have a 'how we met' story ready by tomorrow and he'll deal with the announcement himself. We just have to stand nearby and look pretty, which won't be that much of a challenge, will it?
"You're such a little shit, oh my god. Why am I dating you again?" Wally smiles and laughs and kisses him like he's been dying to do since forever.
"Millionaire." Dick answers, between kisses because he isa little shit. "And an acrobat. You know. Very. Flexible. What do you bring to the table besides eating habits that will get me bankrupt someday?"
"Freckles." Wally answers and Dick groans. "Also..." He takes his hand down to Dick's pants and vibrates it and Dick groans.
"Hey, when we're done making out, do you wanna go spy on Batman and Catwoman? I heard her arriving ten minutes ago and I've also heard something about a bet, so..." Dick pushes him to the bed and climbs on top of him.
"Hell yeah." Wally says and sucks on his boyfriend's lips.
Dick Grayson is his boyfriend. Dick Grayson is his best friend and the love of his life and his boyfriend.He'll wonder how he got so lucky later, after they're done making out and trolling Batman because he's got his priorities straight.