-1Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or this would not have ever had to happen in my mind. I apologize for any spelling and grammar errors you may come across.
Lilies for the Grave and a Tulip for the Girl
They gathered in the Great Hall to celebrate the victory of Voldemort's death. It could only be described as massive. They toasted the departed and the brave. People searched out their love ones and friends. This could be said of everyone. They would form massive groups every ten minutes and cheer loudly. It was a miracle that nobody would discover their secret this day as the parties were quite possibly three times larger than they had been nearly seventeen years prior. Only a small collection of people seemed to be less cheerful than the rest of the room.
Harry Potter knew he should be happier than he was. Yet all he could feel was relief. They had made it. Not a one of his closest friends would be buried in the coming days. In fact they all were patting him on the back and telling them how amazing he is. Well that's what it felt like to him anyway. The crowds were actually starting to get to him and he needed to gather his thoughts. Feeling no remorse to his current action Harry got up from the table and started to head to the entrance doors.
The raven haired youth dredged through what seemed like thousands of people claiming to know you and glad to see him give old Volde what was coming to him. The stars in the sky seemed to indicate all the changes he thought were going on were just insignificant. The stars just shined as bright as they were any other night indifferent. He just stared and tried to reminisce on how all this had come to happen.
Than a hand reached out an grabbed his shoulder. He knew who it was before looking at her. He reached back touching her hand in return. "I'm fine Hermione I just needed some air to clear my thoughts." He continued to stare at the stars.
"Just go back inside and I'll be back in a little bit."
"And just where do you think your going."
Attempting to dodge the question, " Neville was some thing wasn't he. Its so hard to picture him as the bumbling little boy he was seven years ago. "
He knew his invasion of the question was poor. He just didn't find the truth to be very pleasant at the moment. "So this how you going to act. Push everybody out of your life. Well what if we don't want to be pushed out and we push back to get to you.?"
"Just go back inside Hermione. I promise I will be back. Just go celebrate with everyone else. I promise I will be back."
"In how long?"
"Couple of days at most. "
"Don't you think people might wonder where you are?"
"They don't right now so a couple of days won't make a difference. They don't really care at the moment anyway."
"People noticed you left. And we do care that you're here."
"No, you noticed I left. You care that I'm here. They are all partying and getting drunk."
"Why do you keep pushing me away Harry. I'm not some possession that can be passed around when I offer no use to somebody. You been pushing me away since sixth year. Why? What did I do that pissed you off so bad?"
"Nothing." Harry turned to walk towards the lake. "Just go back inside Hermione and I'll see you in a couple of days."
"I never knew you were such a bloody coward Harry." Her anger was flowing off her tongue. "So this is it you won and your going to walk off and brood. You can't even answer my question. So until you do I'm not leaving. And another thing quit telling me what to do you are not my father. I can make my own decisions thank you." She just glared at him. Daring him to even try to tell her to do something again.
Harry attempted to straighten himself up from the verbal lashing. He knew what he had to do if he wanted the loneliness to consume him. " I been pushing you away because I can't stand to be in the same room as you any more." He saw her look up at him shocked and hurt. He felt his own heart break at his half truth. "So go back to Ron and the others and leave me alone."
"Now tell me the real reason Harry." She screamed at him. The tears streak her face in a frantic attempt to stay on. "I've known you for to long to let some thing like that slide." A slight hiccup escapes her throat. " Give me some credit Harry I'm not a idiot. I'm not Ron."
The posture Harry struggled to keep changed back to a slump. "Why can't you for once do what I want?"
"Because it won't help you. Now tell me what is going on with you. I thought you had everything you wanted. Its done we can finally live and here you are looking like your upset you made it."
"Maybe I didn't want to live through it." His voice cracks as the words whisper pass his lips. "Its done, but nothing changed. I can feel them still out there. Sure the death eaters are gone. Yet the people who supported him in the shadows are still out there. How long until another one comes along? I mean how long until this is forgotten and it just repeats? I didn't get what I wanted. All I got is the visions of friends and family dying because I wasn't fast enough. Or I was stupid, or I was fucking born. What do you see that came out the way I wanted here?"
"You didn't lose everyone Harry. I'm still here. Ron is still here. I can keep listing people."
"I lost everyone that mattered."
Hermione could feel the tears starting up again. "I thought Ron and me were your best friends? Since when don't we matter?"
" And how long until you both get tired of me as a third wheel and need some distance? I'm not going to stay around to be forgotten. And only brought out for celebrations and mentions."
"Why would I do that to you. You're my best friend. Or I thought you were until you started pushing me to Ron. Your not the only one who misses everyone. I miss them to. So why are you punishing your self for this?"
"Because its my fault. If I would have killed him sooner they would still be here. If I would have listened to you he would still be here. If I could have just moved faster he wouldn't have trapped me to watch his death. Its all my fault."
"No its not. They all were there because they wanted to be there. You don't have to place all the blame on your self. SO quit pushing me, us away. I'm worried about you. "
"Well don't. I knew what I was getting into two years ago. I made a decision to make sure none of you felt it was your fault. And it isn't everyone who died is because of me."
"Is this why you been pushing me to Ron to protect me. Harry James Potter I can take care of myself."
"Sure you can. That's why when Dolohov cursed you I almost lost you. "
"We were fifth years. I can protect myself better now thank you. Didn't I just prove it. Now what is this argument really about Harry? And don't you dare tell me to leave again or I will hex you so bad you won't wake up for two weeks."
Harry just gave up and slumped down into the ground. "Hermione I really don't want to talk about it with you. I really just tired and I have one more stop to make tonight. We can talk about this later. Now can I please leave now with out being hexed?"
"Where are you going?"
" I have some respects and stories to tell."
"I want to come with you."
"Please Hermione," He was going to tell her to leave. He just knew how ever no matter what he said short of stunning her she would fallow him. She had been since first year. "Fine. Since your not going to listen to my wishes I might as well listen to yours. " He hoped that his words would get her to leave.
"Finally its good to see you listen to reason. Know stay here and I'll be back in 10 minutes. If you leave with out me I will personally make Tom seem like a nursery rhyme compared to me." And she ran in a full sprint back to the castle. Harry just sat in the dirt wondering why he was dong what she told him to. He could easily leave and let her cool off before returning. Yet he knew he would be gone a while before she cooled off. So he gave into his own feelings since he really didn't want to go alone.
"I'm surprised to see you still here." Harry looked up at the face of his bookworm friend.
He got off the ground and started toward the forbidden forest. He didn't even try to start any more conversations. Happy she was just going with him Hermione walk silently beside her best friend trying to figure out why he was so adamant to make the rest of his life a mistake. Why he just didn't seem to want her around anymore.
Finally outside the Hogwarts wards Harry quickly grabbed Hermione's Hand and disapparated away form the school. As soon as they landed he was glad she came with him. The sight of the graveyard shock him harder than he expected it to. Even only being here once he knew blindly where to go. For all his own mental frustrations Harry was glad Hermione hadn't said a thing to him. He just stared at the headstones in front of him and didn't blink or take a breath for what seemed to be hours. Hermione looked forward unable to observe her friend in such pain. She still remember the pain he had experienced the last time they visited here. And she wondered why Harry would put him self through it all over again.
Harry for the most part sat down in front of the graves and tried numerous time s to start a conversation with two of the most important people in his life. Hermione couldn't tell what he was going to say. Which annoyed her to deep to admit it. Harry and her had always understood each other and know he seemed to want to throw it away. It seemed to come back to something she had done. And while Harry struggled to speak once again to his parents. Finally he stopped trying and just nodded silently and shock his head when appropriate. If anyone else would have witnessed the scene he would be thought to be crazy. Hermione knew he was just talking to himself. Minutes or hours later his stomach started to growl. Hermione reached in to her robes and threw him a sandwich that was in her pocket. "I knew you didn't eat at the feast." Harry nodded his head and finished the sandwich in three bites.
"Hermione I want to apologize to you. I know I was being difficult earlier" She snorted in agreement. "I want to say I didn't mean all those things I said to you. You guys do matter to me. I just can't be around you any more."
"I told you we won't forget about you. So quit saying stuff like this."
"It has nothing to do with being the third wheel okay. Its just that is physically can't be around you any more."
"You expect me to take this with out asking for an explanation Harry?"
"No I just not sure I can give you a good one that will work."
"See there you proved that you can't do it so forget this whole isolationist issue. So lets head out of here. Come home Harry I promise soon every thing will be alright."
"You can't promise me that. You don't know what I've done to get to this point. Some bridges don't get rebuilt after they are burned Hermione."
"Than tell me. Quit this whole mysterious brooding hero shit." Calming herself she sat back down. "Look Harry I'm your friend. Sure I might be angry for a moment, but doesn't mean I'm going to hate you forever."
"Are you Happy?"
"Umm"
"Truthfully Hermione. Are you Happy with your life right know?'
"I guess I mean there is some obvious things I would like to change, but for the most part I guess I'm happy. Why?"
"It doesn't matter. If your happy than we will not have this conversation."
"Are you happy Harry?"
"Come on lets get to the house and get some sleep."
"No. You will answer my question. I'm tired of this answer your questions and not mine bullshit."
"Fine. I'm not happy okay."
"Why? Its over and you can finally go after Ginny with out having out worrying about her isn't that what you wanted.?"
"No its not. I can't have what I want."
"What do you mean that's not what you want. The whole hunt you talked about her in your sleep. You said that she was on your mind constantly. What do you want if its not her and to move on?"
"Just drop it Hermione. I'm tired lets get some sleep."
"No what do you want Harry. Is it so bad your ashamed to tell me."
"No I'm not ashamed. I just burnt the bridge and moved on."
"Just tell me."
"Fine I want you. I have for three years." Hermione took a step back.
"You have a lousy way of showing it Harry. Now tell me the truth."
"I just did. Not my fault that you don't believe me. Can we drop this now."
" Why did you treat me like you have for the last two years. You stayed my friend, but were distant. I you wanted me. Why push me away? And lie to Ron?"
"Because you almost died. You already were a target why should I make you a bigger one." So I decided I wasn't going to place you with me."
"That wasn't your decision to make. Maybe I wanted to be by your side. Did you ever think about that."
"It doesn't matter know any way."
"And why is that?"
"Your with Ron. I'm not going to getting in between that. No matter how sick it makes me."
"And if me and Ron don't work out?"
"Not going to Happen I won't let you end things with him just to try things with me. He's my friend I can't stab him in the back like that."
"Yeah but I waited six years for you."
"And you are happy now you just told me so your self. So don't even try that with me."
"Its not fair Harry."
"That's okay, life is hardly ever fair." With that he conjured two sets of Casablanca lilies and laid them on the graves. Than he reached out and conjured a single red tulip and bowed down to Hermione and placed it in her hair. She looked at him and a set of tears started flowing down he checks all over again. He reached out and wiped the tears off and paced his arms around her waist walking her out of the grave yard.
A/N Casablanca Lily represents celebration and red tulips represent a declaration of love. I not sure about this story. I like it than I hate it. My own personality shows a little to much and I can see it. I know because I swear to much or at least my girlfriend thinks I do. Any way this was just some thoughts for the end of DH. Hope you enjoyed it. As usual review, flame, or read and move on to the next story. Thanks for taking the time to get this far and any views you have on the above reading material I'm always open to conversation. Later everyone