Screamager
An A:tLA crack!fic
"ARGGHH!! UNCLE!"
The cry rent the still morning mist. It must have been something very important to warrant disturbing the sun's quiet rise, shattering the utter peace and serenity that came with the light pink clouds over the water, creating sound waves that disrupted the ripples around the ship's hull. Something very important indeed.
Perhaps a small child had fallen into the water and was screaming for help?
A young woman was going into labor and cried out for a doctor?
A poor father of three getting up to go earn money for food had tripped over a poorly placed pair of sandals, stubbing his toe and falling into the table, spilling all the coffee and leaving none for him to drink before entering the workforce?
A pathetic young---
Fine. So the shriek didn't come from a poor, destitute young child. Or from someone in immense pain, emotional turmoil, or caffeine-deprived-ness.
So it came from a rich, spoiled, healthy, caffeine-filled, rather handsome Fire Nation prince. So?!? That doesn't make it any less gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, sniffle---
Fine. So it was totally pathetic. Your point is?
Zuko's uncle rolled from his bed, absent mindedly pulling on some robes as he planned the multiple cups of tea he would make himself to ensure a proper wake-up. Yawning widely, he strolled from his cabin to meet his nephew's wrath.
Zuko was standing on the deck, feet planted, arms crossed, eyes gleaming, nostrils steaming. Intent on reaching the galley, his uncle shuffled past him, a flapping hand Zuko's only acknowledgement.
"UNCLE!"
With a heavy sigh, Iroh halted. He slowly turned to face his nephew, eyes lingering longingly on the galley door. Tea!
He turned his bleary eyes upon Zuko's fuming visage, letting a few seconds of silence pass before raising one questioning grey eyebrow.
"Yes, Prince Zuko?"
It was all the opening his nephew needed. "I can't DO THIS anymore! I can't keep sailing around on this STUPID BOAT, looking for something I CAN'T FREAKING FIND, waking up every day, getting up AND TRIPPING ON YOUR STUPID FREAKING PAI SHO PIECES, AND FALLING AND HURTING MY ASS AND— "
Iroh interrupted him, calmly (and rather distractedly) breaking off the angst/whining/screaming storm that had been brewing (like his tea should be, right now).
"Oh, stop being such a scream-ager nephew. It's not fitting for a Fire Nation prince."
Iroh beamed up at his speechless nephew. "Would you like some tea to help you calm down? Ginseng can be very soothing…"
He bustled off to the galley, muttering happily to himself, leaving a stunned teenager in the hall.
AN: This was a 2 am crack!fic, stemming from a tired me looking at the Muse song, Screenager, and seeing 'screamager', which I took to be a screaming teenager. And, it being 2 am, I saw Zuko. : Cheers.
I really do love Zuko, and this is meant to be more funny that Zuko bashing. \But I don't know if it is. Please review, if only with a 'you're retarded, go to sleep' or a ; (nice confused face), or even something nice. Recommend your favorite crack!fics; I live off of them.
Oh yeah; I don't own A:tLA, Zuko, Iroh, or any other characters. Oh, and I don't own Muse's Screenager. But I think I own screamager… go me :)