Over
Summary: Over. Ended. Finished. Done. Completed. Concluded. Terminated. Through. Two words…
Disclaimer: The Outsiders is not mine.
"I'm pregnant," Sandy blurted out, then covered her mouth as though she hadn't meant to let that slip out. Her eyes were huge, scared and anxious, and her lips were trembling. I should've been worried, scared and upset. I should've been all those things. But overlapping all those emotions swimming in my mind was a kind of mixed excitement. Oh, I wasn't exactly looking forward to raising a baby at my age. But no matter how it happened, I was gonna be a father! And there was something special about that…and I could marry Sandy. Everything was going to be all right.
"You sure, Sandy?" I was trying to be calm, but I had to be sure before I told her my plans to get married. If she wasn't really having a baby…well, I just needed to be sure.
She nodded tearfully, impatiently swiping at her eyes as though willing the tears to stay back. When she opened her mouth to say more, an instant feeling of dread came over me. Whatever it was, it wasn't something good. So I quickly cut in, "Sandy, there's something I want to say. I love you, and I don't care if this wasn't how things were supposed to be." I wasn't sure about all the proper ways to do this, but I was almost positive I was supposed to kneel down in front of her. So I did, on one knee. And golly, did I feel silly for the first few seconds while she gulped back more tears. But then I pressed on. "Will you marry me?" I asked, grinning up at her.
Sandy's eyes, which I had already thought huge, widened even further. She seemed terrified with fear, and backed up a few steps, shaking her head. She looked panicked, like a deer caught in headlights. "Soda, I…" Sandy's voice broke, and she stepped forward, squeezing my hand as hard as she could. "I can't. Th-the baby…"
No. Stop talking. Don't say it, we can deal with this together, I silently commanded her even as she continued, "It's not yours. I'm so sorry, Soda, I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" I was up off my knee like a shot on the word "yours".
Wake up, I commanded, this time to myself. Wake up from this hellish nightmare, where Ponyboy is missing…and now this. This was supposed to be the one time I could be normal, try to forget that my brother is nowhere to be found, and a kid was found murdered in the park. With Sandy, I was supposed to be okay. Not anymore.
I couldn't speak, couldn't think of anything to say. What was I supposed to say to something like that? One of Dally's girls had been pregnant once. When she told him, he just let out a torrent of swearing that could burn a saint's ears off. That girl hadn't been pregnant for long. An appointment made, that baby was "taken care of". I hadn't found out until a while after it all happened that the girl was even pregnant. It had stuck with me, though. And one thing was for sure: I didn't care if this kid wasn't mine. Sandy was not going to get rid of her baby that way.
"It's okay," I heard myself saying. "Nobody else has to know that, Sandy. We can still get married. I'll take care of both of you. Darry'll be awful mad at me, but I don't care. Just don't—don't let this baby go, all right Sandy?"
"No! Stop it, Soda!" Sandy exclaimed, surprising me, not for the first time that night, let me tell you. "Don't you get it? I have to go away! My parents are sending me to Florida, and you can't come with me. I can't get married! We're just kids! Do you know what my parents would think of my marrying a sixteen-year-old?"
"I'm going to be seventeen!" I shouted. I don't know why it was so important to me to get that out there, it just was. And there was quiet when she didn't respond.
And all I could think about were flashes of the past three days…
I went to see Dallas at Buck Merrill's place. I knew he'd be there, and I knew he knew where my brother was. And Johnny. "Where are they, Dally?" I demanded as soon as he let me into his room. Something flickered in his eyes, but then they grew hard and unflinching again. "I don't know, Soda," he answered coolly. Anyone else probably would've believed him and left it at that, but I wasn't letting him off that easy. It was plain to see—for me, anyway—that Dallas knew exactly where Pony and Johnny had gone, probably helped them on their way.
"I know you know," I told him. "Where are they?" All I could focus on was finding my brother. I had a date with Sandy that night…I would have to cancel. This was more important.
Dallas sighed. "I told you already, I honestly don't know, Sodapop. All I know is what the cops told me, and what I saw in the paper. Did you hear that Soc is dead?"
"Of course I heard!" I snapped. "My little brother was there in the park, and now nobody knows where he is except you. And Dallas Winston is never honest, remember?" Dally nodded, a rare glimmer of a smile in his eyes. He was proud of the fact. It also told me he was lying now. Big surprise. What had I expected, really?
"Look, I know you'll be going up to…wherever they are sometime soon. Just give him this, all right?" I pulled out a bunch of crumpled bills from my pocket, half of the money I'd just gotten paid from the DX. And, knowing I would never be able to give it to Ponyboy myself, I quickly wrote a note. It wasn't much, but at least he'd know we were sorry and missing him.
Ponyboy,
Well I guess you got into some trouble, huh? Darry and me nearly went nuts when you ran out like that. Darry is awful sorry he hit you. You know he didn't mean it. And then you and Johnny turned up mising and what with the dead kid in the park and Dally getting hauled into the station, well it scared us something awful. The police came by to question us and we told them as much as we could. I can't believe little old Johnny could kill somebody. I know Dally knows where you are, but you know him. He keeps his trap shut and won't tell me nothing. Darry hasn't got the slightest notion where you're at and it is nearly killing him. I wish you'd come back and turn your selfves in but I guess you can't since Johnny might get hurt. You sure are famous. You got a paragraph in the newspaper even. Take care and say hi to Johnny for us. Sodapop Curtis
As I gave the money and paper to Dallas, I had that thought again: Sandy and I have a date tonight. She says she has to tell me something important…
And the night before I went to see Dally…
It was late, and I should've been fast asleep with my brother beside me. What a joke. Sure, it was late, but I wasn't asleep and Ponyboy wasn't beside me. I didn't know where he was. Nobody had heard from him or Johnny since the two nights ago, when Darry threw Ponyboy across the room…when all the nightmares began.
I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable having the bed to myself. I propped Ponyboy's pillow beside me so I would at least have something to throw my arm across. I would never tell anyone how close I was to crying the third night in a row. Losing my baby brother was the worst thing that had ever happened to me…
I'd thought that same thing when my parents died. And now, with Sandy standing in front of me telling me it was over, I had the same feeling. When were all these bad things going to stop happening to me? After all, I was only a sixteen-year-old kid. My horse had been taken away, I'd been in too many fights to count, my parents had died, my baby brother and his friend were missing, my girlfriend had just told me she was pregnant, then announced that she'd cheated on me and the baby wasn't even mine.
"It's over, Soda," Sandy said softly, turning to walk away from me with one last glance over her shoulder. I shook my head at no one in particular. Over. Yeah, right.
My relationship with Sandy might've been over. My parents' lives might've been over. But my brother was still missing. And until that living hell came to a close, nothing was really finished.
When would the nightmare that had become my life be over?
Author's Note: I swear that's the last time I'm interrupting my other stories until they're done! So, did you like this idea or has it been done a lot before? Did I get Soda's reaction right or was it off? Anyway, let me know what you thought. I am open to suggestions of improvement, so I can maybe rework this one-shot.
