Summary: In a world where Edward Elric could never see himself considering being 'gay', and in a life where Roy Mustang couldn't imagine Ed, not being gay. A story of confusion, controversy and learning to accept the true nature of . AU

A/N On The Universe: This follows neither the anime nor the manga, really, but is set in an alternate timeline and or AU. There is not going to be any Alchemy in this story, but hey I found a happy medium. I kept Ed's Auto-mail arm and leg. :D

A/N On Reviews: I adore getting feedback and constructive criticism, but I do have one request to make. When commenting, please bear in mind that your comments and suggestions, both good and bad, are your opinion only, rather than (in general) a statement of fact. It is easy to accidentally insult or offend an author by sounding demanding and entitled in a written review, and I know that is never anyone's intention. By all means tell me if you think something seems a bit off, but give a moment's thought to how the tone of your review might be received. Thanks!

Rating Information - Rated "M" overall due to scenes of an explicit or disturbing nature later on. Please check each chapter for each rating or warnings. (boyxboy)

Warning:mild language and extensive confusion on Ed's part.

Swaying The Straight Line

Chapter one: Till Death Do Us Part

∞∾Edward∾∞

It was an August wedding. Meaning it was terribly hot. Well really more along the lines of— Scorching heat, I'm going to burn you alive— hot.

The bride name was Riza Hawkeye; she is beautiful but a terrifying gun wielding woman. The groom was my timid soft-spoken younger brother Alphonse Elric.

Honestly, I never really understood the pairing between the two, but hey, they were in love. Who was I to tell them they weren't right for each other. Besides they would eventually figure it out. Doesn't everyone?

Okay, maybe I sounded a little bitter. Can you really blame me though?

Four days before Al's wedding I had caught my girlfriend of six years screwing my partner of four years in 'My' bed. My bed, can you even understand how disgusting that even is? Okay, she was cheating on me, something I could get over. With my partner (none-the-less), I could turn the other cheek but to have the audacity to 'fuck' where I slept was stepping over the invisible line. Not only did I have to file for a change of partner I had to break it off with Winry, and let me tell you, it had been painful on both our parts.

But that was beside the point, because I the eldest of the Elric brother could have care less about such trivial things. I was here and now, at this joyous occasion of my little brother wedding and nothing was going to ruin this day for my baby bro. Such thoughts needed to stay in the past, where they belonged with the whores and cheaters.

Letting my eyes drift over the groomsmen party already standing at the front of the church. The groom's side wore traditional black tuxedos with powder blue bow ties and white shirts. The bride's maid wore tacky blue formal dresses. You don't often see blue cupcake prom dresses which actually made the woman look like giant puffy clouds floating around. I would'a been pissed if I had to shell out hundreds of dollars for one of those monstrosities. But since I (luckily) was a man, on the groom's side I got to wear a tux and a rental tux at that. Hundreds of dollars, for a giant blue puffy marshmallow mess of a dress. Or less than a hundred dollars to rent a tux that I was going to return— wait let me think for a second.

Thank you lord for making me the man I am.

With that thought I let my eyes wander over the people sitting in the rows of pews. Recognizing familiar faces in the crowd of family and friends on the groom side as well some of Al's friends I had yet to become acquainted with. Smiling politely when catching people eyes, I continued to scan the room towards the bride's side, sweeping over the many people who sat among strangers talking quietly among themselves.

Except for a dark hair man sitting four rows down the flower adorned isle on the bride's side. Deep black eyes stared right back towards me. I felt pined to where I stood next to the altar, quick and intense bolt of hot white adrenalin coursed up my spine. Without thinking I darted my line of sight away from his. Taking a deep breath, "this is ridicules" I mumble under my breath, looking towards the ground. I wouldn't let this man intimidate me.

Letting my gaze wander back towards the onyx hair man, I realized he was still watching me but this time with a slight humorist smile on his lip.

The dark eye man dipped his head in a slight greetings.

I felt my face flush and I looked away again quickly. I didn't like the way this man made me feel, he made me uncomfortable. His gaze didn't sit well with me. Luckily I didn't have to worry about it much longer because the bridal party music queued and the ceremony had commenced.

Saved by the bell, I thought, more like saved by the music.

And as I watched the four bridesmaids in their poufy blue dresses walk down the aisle of the packed church. Their hair done up on their heads in ringlets, and more makeup then needed, I was feeling very lucky, once again to be a guy. The women had little round bouquets of shades of blue and with silver lace and ribbons flowing down from the flowers. I just had to stand up at the front of the church with my one hand holding the wrist of the other arm. The wedding coordinator had seemed to believe that all the groomsmen would pick their noses, or something equally embarrassing, if they didn't keep their hands busy. So she'd informed them that they were to stand with their hands clasped on opposite wrists. No hands in pockets, no crossed arms, no hands clasped in front of their groins.

Had I arrived late to the rehearsal, yes? Was it a surprise, no?

The wedding coordinator had seemed to believe I would be a civilizing influence on my brother's friends since I was the best man and respected detective

It didn't take her long to figure out that I was as uncouth as any man. Frankly, I thought we all behaved ourselves really well. She just didn't seem very comfortable around men. Maybe it was the gun I was wearing strapped under my jacket. But none of the groomsmen, myself included, had done anything for her to complain about. This was Al's day, and none of us wanted to screw it up. Oh, and Riza's day.

The bride entered the church on her father's arm. Her mother was already in the front pew dressed in a pale mint green that actually looked good on her. She was beaming and crying, and seemed both miserable and deliriously happy all at the same time. Mrs. Hawkeye was the reason for the big church wedding. Both Al and Riza would have been happy with something smaller, but Riza didn't seem able to say no to her mother, and Alphones was just trying to get along with his future in-law.

Riza was a vision in white, complete with a veil that covered her face like a misty dream. She was wearing more makeup than I'd ever seen her in, but the drama of it suited the beaded neckline, and full, bell-like skirt. I'm betting on it though, she was hiding a pistol somewhere beneath her skirt. The dress looked like it could have walked down the aisle on its own, or at least stood on its own. They'd done something with her hair so that it was smooth and completely back from her face, so that you could see just how striking she was.

I was standing next to Alphones, me and then three of Al's college buddies stood to the right. So all I had to do was turn my head to look at my brother's face. He looked… well he looked sick. He was pale, and his brown eyes stood wide. His wispy dark blonde hair shone all most smooth. He looked good… if he didn't faint, that is.

He watched Riza with quite adoration. But of course, if they'd done two hours' worth of markup on Al, he might be twice as pretty. But men don't have to worry about such things. The double standard is alive and well. The woman is supposed to appear beautiful on her wedding day, the groom is just supposed to stand there and not embarrass himself, or her.

Riza's father placed her hand within Al's. Riza isn't a short woman so she stood three inches taller than her soon-to-be-husband, in heels. I happen to be close enough to my brother to see the look that Riza's father had given Alphones. It was not a very friendly look.

Oh did I mention, Riza was four months pregnant, and apparently it was Al's fault. Or better yet, that's what Riza's father thought. As if Riza had been a blush virgin taken from her bed and brought back deflower and knocked-up.

Mr. Hawkeye raised Riza's blusher on her veil to show all the carefully applied make-up. He kissed her solemnly on the cheek, threw one last dark look at Al, and turned smiling and pleasant to join his wife in the front pew. The fact that he'd gone from a look that dark, to pleasant and smiling when he knew the church would see his face bothered me. I didn't like that my brother's new father-in-law was capable of lying that well. Made me wonder what he did for a living. But I was naturally suspicious, comes from working with the police for too long. Cynicism is so contagious.

We all turned toward the altar, and the familiar ceremony began. I'd been to dozens of weddings over the years, almost all Christian, almost all standard denominations, so the words were strangely familiar. Funny, how you don't think you've memorized something until you hear it, and realize you have. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony."

It wasn't a Catholic or Episcopalian wedding, so we didn't have to kneel, or do much of anything. We wouldn't even be getting communion during the ceremony. I have to admit my mind began to wander a bit. I've never been a big fan of weddings. I understand they're necessary, but I was never one for imagines ones wedding. I'd pretty much settled into the idea that I would never marry. Maybe this was the reason I wasn't as affected by Winry's betrayal. I just didn't really care for her… our relationship. Don't call me evil but a part of me was happy she had done what she did. I was free… I didn't have to be the one up here on the altar signing my life away to a ball and chain.

I'd been raised middle-class, Middle America, small town, and that meant the fact I didn't wanna settle down with a white picket fence should've bother me, but it didn't. I felt relived.

They'd come to the part where the rings exchange, which meant the maid of honor and the best man a.k.a meaning myself had to do something.

The woman got to hold Riza's huge spill of white flowers, and then I got to hand over the jewelry. It all seemed so terribly sexist. Just once I'd like to see the men have to hold flowers and the women fork over the jewelry. I'd been told once by a friend that I was too liberated for my own good. Maybe. All I knew was that if I ever did get engaged I'd decided either both of us got an engagement ring, or neither of us did. Of course, again, that not getting married part meant that the engagement was probably off the board, too. Oh, well.

At last, they were man and wife. We all turned and the reverend presented them to the church as Mr. and Mrs. Alphones Elric, though I knew for a fact that Riza was keeping her maiden name, so really it should have been Mr. Alphones Elric and Ms. Riza Hawkeye.

We all fell into two lines. I got to offer my arm to Riza sister Hailey. She took the arm, and with her in heels, I was about five inches shorter than she was, something rather not have to admit out loud . She smiled at me. I had noticed she was pretty, with a nice smile at rehearsal dinner last night, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized she could be beautiful. Her dark hair was pulled completely back from her face, so that the delicate triangle of her cheeks and chin was all you saw. The makeup had widened her eyes, added color to her cheeks, and carved pouting lips out of her thin ones. I realized that the powder blue made most of the bridesmaids look wan, but it brought out rich highlights in her skin and hair, made her eyes shine. So few people look good in a washed out blue.

I must have stared, because she frowned, and only then did I start forward, and take our place in line. We filed out like good little wedding party members. We'd already endured the photographer for group shots. He'd be hunting the bride and groom for those candid moments: cutting the cake, throwing the bouquet, removing the garter. Once we got through the receiving line, I could fade into the background and no one would care and I could find the hard liquor.

We all stood in a line as we'd been drilled. Bride and groom at the front of the line, because, let's face it, that's who everyone is really here to see. The rest of us strung out behind them along the wall, waiting to shake hands with mostly strangers. Our families were locals. Riza's family was all out-of-towners. I knew the policemen that been invited; other than that, it was all nod and smile, nod and smile, shake a hand, or two, nod and smile.

I must have concentrated very hard on the people I was meeting, because it surprised me when two large male hands enclosed around my white gloved ones and a deep baritone voice rung out. "You must be the best man?" I looked up into the man's face startled.

And it was him.

The man from the pews, I felt my cheeks instantly heat.

"W-what are you doing here?" Asking lamely, what was wrong with me.

The man quietly chuckle a response, "Attending a weddings reception—" a small subtle smile creeping along the man's face. "and yourself?"

I realized our hands were still twined together amid a hand shake. I hastily pulled my hands away and took a step back. What was this man playing at?

"I.."

"No need to be frazzled, Mr. Elric. I was merely jesting."

'Frazzled', I wasn't 'frazzled'— and for fucking christ-sake, what kind of bastard says the word 'frazzled'. Wait a second, how does this man know who I am? Speaking before thinking was a common mistake I was always being accused of committing and now of all places, this was not the time to recognize such habits.

"Frazzle, who said anything about being frazzled, and how the hell do you know who I am?" I knew my voice was rising but couldn't find it in me to range in my temper. Who did this man think he is?

The dark hair man smile stretched across his open face. While he waved the brochure from the wedding in his long fingers through the air."The pamphlet, Mr. Elric."

Oh, well... shit. "I...umm..." My argument flew out the window like a rapidly deflating balloon.

"Oh where are my manners," the man spoke again reaching his hand back out to be shaken again. "Roy Mustang and you must be Edward Elric?"

Roy Mustang... Roy Mustang. Where had I heard that name before? It sounded so familiar. This question rolled around in my head while I looked down skeptically towards Roy's extended hand. The line of guests from the wedding trying to enter the hall behind the still lingering man were starting to back up, so I reached out and shook the man's hand; just to move things along.

"Yeah, that's me." I grumbled out, letting go of his grip with sweaty palms, thanking the higher power that I was wearing my gloves. This guy made me feel very uncomfortable in my skin, and I didn't want to be near him any longer. Thinking quickly on my part, "Well enjoy the party." I spoke moving on to greet the next people in line, knowingly being rude to make this creep leave me alone. Askance my vision, I saw Roy give me a knowing smile curled the corner of his lips, "Indeed," before walking towards the party hall, where the loud music was coming from. Something in my stomach told me, this man would be talking to me again tonight.

What did he even want with me?

The feeling of dread crept slowly over me as the next couple of people walked up to me with widen smiles. I could tell tonight was going be a long one, and the evening festivity were only beginning. I needed a hard drink of liquor and quickly at that.

Poor Ed. So oblivious to what is about to happen to him...

Up Next: The wedding reception.