Hi! This is Strudlecake, I have never written a tf2 fic before ^^ I think my writing is really good so please give it a chance! Also, Sil is really mean so just a head's up! Thanks to my sister WereBear for the help!

It was a nice day outside. A few clouds dotted the sky, but other than that, it was clear as glass. I was happy, because I love clear weather, with the sun shining and birds singing… Actually, scratch that. I hate birds, I wish I could just go out and kill them all. Snatch them up from their nests and snap their necks, burn the newly-hatched babies alive. But birds aren't the point, I was on a mission. A very serious mission.

So, as I was saying before, the birds were chirping and the sky was dotted with a few clouds, blah blah blah. The sound of feathered freaks was starting to annoy me, so I pulled out my trusty iPod and jammed the headphones into my ears, resting the iPod in my hoodie pocket along with my hands. My hoodie was black and had "BOTDF" emblazoned on the back, and the cuffs of the sleeves were printed with a pink flame pattern. The bottom of the hoodie was designed this way also, but the hood itself was just plain black. So it was pretty badass. I was also wearing blue jeans and about ten armbands on each wrist, a glowstick glowing neon pink around my neck and pretty pink vans on my feet. My flowing blond hair was like a river, cascading out from my hoodie and down to the sides of my ankles. My skin color was almost ivory, super white like Snow White except prettier. Not nearly as pale as Edward Cullen though, 'cause he is stupid and a pedo lol! Anyway, my lips were of he perfect volume and a color mixed between pink and red. My eyes were violet, but they changed with my emotion. My eyelashes were long and dark and I never needed makeup for my gorgeous face, it always remained perfect, just like the golden river that flowed from my head that was my hair.

I strutted down that little bridge thing between the RED and BLU bases in Teufort, flipping my hair every so often. The sun highlighted my hair and could have blinded anyone with beauty. Speaking of highlights, my hair had pink highlights, too. Soon I approached the RED Base and walked inside and went into a secret door that lead to their living room. It was ugly and tacky but I was sure I could fix it up pretty fast. I started to hear noises that sounded like a mixture of a ton of obnoxious voices coming from the next room. I paused, adjusted my clothes, pulled out my headphones, and strutted into the room as awesomely as possible.

Everyone went silent when they saw me. There were four people in there, and they all looked like grown men. I was 18 so I was of legal age! I flipped my hair dramatically and everyone let out gasps of awe. Just then, a guy in a weird fancy suit wearing an ugly mask that I assumed hid his hideous face approached me.

"Hello, miss. I am ze Spy, who are you?"

I almost screamed in lust when I heard his sexy French accent. Oh my God, was it sexay and hot.

A drunk black guy came over to me and he was wearing an eye patch, which was cool because I love pirates! "Aye! You are one beautiful lass, lassy."

OMG he had an accent, too! It was like a dream come true for me! Who doesn't love accents!1!

Then the two others came over to me, some weird guy in an ugly siut with a retarded mask on his face and a fat lard who was ugly and fat. Why do I always attract the ugly people?

"Mmmpph mmph mphh!" The guy with the retarded mask said, putting his hand out to me. I slapped it away and made an ew-face. "Ew ugly! What' with the mask?" I snapped, and everyone gasped at my insult and laughed at the retard-mask guy.

Then the fat guy said, "Hello! I am Heavy!" He had an accent, too, but he was fat so I was insulted by it.

"Ew, no," I said, kicking him in the shin and he screamed and fell and crawled out of the room. "I hate fat people!" I shouted.

The French guy pulled out a cigarette and said, "What is your name?" he laughed.

I flipped my hair. "I am Silvia Ruby Snakeskin. But you guys can just call me Silvia."

"Wow, what a name!" the drunk black guy hiccupped. "I'm Demoman."

"Yes, I am ze Spy," Spy said again.

The Retard-mask guy started to say something but I kicked him in the mask and he ran away crying. When I get insulted, I just get so mad and resort to violence.

Wow you're pretty cool you can join the RED tea!" Spy laughed again and then he shook my hand and walked away.

So then Spy and Demoman took me outside but they were fighting a war now! And I gasped. "What's going on?" I said, facing Spy.

"We are in ze war," Spy said. "We are fighting over half of ze world."

I gasped. Why would they want to fight over the world? I turned to BLU Base and saw people wearing blue running out and I decided I would help the RED team because I hate that shade of blue it reminds me of the sky and the sky reminds me of birds. That and because I had met the RED team first.

"Okay, I'l l help you guys," I said.

Just then some guy walked in and he had a helmet over his face so that you cold only see the lower half? I was confused on why someone would want to do that because how would yyou fight a war with a helmet on your eyes.

"What? NO. GIRLS CAN'T FIGHT IN WAR THIS IS A MAN'S PLACE A GIRL BELONGS IN A KITCHEN MAKING ME A SAMMICH!" he screamed in my face, and then he- get this- he punched me! In the boob! I got really pissed off and kicked him in the boob back. He fell to the flor crying.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?" I shouted, sending a bone-chilling glare down at him.

He squeaked a bit in pain and fear as he stared up into my cold, violent violet eyes.

"Stop messin' around you faggots," a voice said.

I turned my head to see a thin, young man with a cap on his head and shiny dogtags around his neck. He also had an accent, but it was nothing special. His eyes locked with mine, and his breath caught in his throat. "Oh…ah…um…"

"I'm Silvia," I said with a grin, walking over the sexist pig Soldier to stand in front of the boy. "What is your name?"

"I'm Scout," he said, blinking. "What da hell ia a girl doin' here?" he said. "Girls can't fight wars!"

I blushed. There is nothing hotter tan a guy who is also sort of a jerk. Scout was perfect! "I'll show you," I said, prending to be angry. "I'm great at fighting. I took karate, Taekwondo, and kickboxing when I was little."

Scout snorted and then sprinted out of the room. I followed him, and he was really fast! But he lead me to the balcony place where he jumped off of the building and landed on the top of the bridge. Then he ran over to RED base.

I turned to the other side of the balcony and walked over there. There was a door to the respawn there and a man wearing a hat was standing there and preparing a sniper rifle.

"Hi," I said. "Who are you?"

He jumped and pointed the gun at me, only to see it was me. "Oh," he said, "Who're you, mate?"

He had a British accent and was wearing aviators and he looked cool!

"I'm Silvia," I said with a big smile, wich was really contagious, because the man began to grin, too. He chuckled and put out a hand for me to shake. "Ah, nice to meet you, mate. I'm Sniper, and I snipe pople I snipe people."

I nodded. "oh ok that's cool," I replied with a giggle. "That's a cool gun you've got."

"Yeah, snipings a good job, mate. What do you got?"

I hesiated. What was my job? I wasn't sure… "I… uh… I'm the close range fighter," I said with a shrug.

"You mean you don't have a gun?" Sniper gasped, his shades falling off and revealing his blood red eyes.

"No," I said. "But it's ok, I have a bullet proof vest(I forgot to mention that, sorry.)" I shrugged and turned to the edge of th balcony, throwing down my hood an letting my hair flow in th wind like a mighty flag. My toes hung off of the edge of the balcony and I glanced over my shoulder to see if Sniper was looking. He wasn't. I frowned, and with a determined glint in my now forest greeneyes, I jumped away and sprinted into the battle.

That's it for ch1! WereBear beta'd about half of it I betad the rest! What will happen next? Will Sil get hurt? CHECK IN NT TIME TO SEE! PLEASE R&R!