A.N. I wrote this absolutely yonks ago, I was probably about 14 at the time. It works better if you watch the end scene in Dumbledore's office of 'The Chamber of Secrets.' Completely stupid and pointless!
Harry: Dobby? So he's your father too…
Lucius: You're grounded! I'll speak to you later. Go to your room, Harry. So, it's true – you came back.
Dumbledore: I needed to do the cleaning.
Lucius: Ridiculous!
Dumbledore: Curiously, Lucius, several of the items of underwear I found were not mine.
Lucius: How dare you!
Dumbledore: What?
Lucius: My sole concern has always been and will always be the welfare of this household and of course of our children! The owner of the underwear has been identified, I presume?
Dumbledore: Yes.
Lucius: And, who was it?
Dumbledore: Voldemort.
Lucius: lusts Ahhh… I mean, erm. Oh.
Dumbledore: Only this time he chose to leave red french knickers, and not a gold thong.
Lucius: I see.
Dumbledore: Fortunately, Harry found it. One hopes that no more of Lord Voldemort's old lacy things should find their way into innocent dresser drawers. The consequences for the one responsible could be severe.
Lucius: Well, let us hope Harry will always be around to save us from divorce.
Harry: Don't worry, I will be. If you up my pocket money.
Lucius: Dumbledore. Come, Dobby. We're leaving!
Harry: He can't take my brother away! What about Fawkes? And where's Draco anyway? Dad – I mean, Sir – I wonder if I could have those..?
Harry: Dad – I mean, Mr Malfoy! I have something of yours.
Lucius: They're not mine! They're – well, not mine.