Chapter 1 Lunchtime.

The two most famous boys of sunny Sacramento sat in a local park, eating forearm sized burritos and people watching as they filmed "Lunchtime with Smosh". There was an ancient old woman sitting on the bench adjacent to them.

"It's like she's from 1739..."

"Dude, how would you know what a woman from 1739 looks like?"

"By the depth of her wrinkles you can tell her age, DUH!" Anthony shook his head, taking a bite of his burrito. He couldn't argue with sound logic like that.

The boys introduced their meal to the projected viewers in their camera taking the "First Bite," and talking about random stupid stuff.

"Anthony, it's time for something,"

"No it's not."

"Yes it is BITCH. it's time for...!" Anthony broke into a grin and started swinging his arm back and forth enthusiastically.

"Finding twitter question's finDING! (Ian: some people think it's funny, ITS NOT) Twitter questions. Finding twitter questions finding twitter questions!" Anthony searched on his iPhone while Ian turned the camera off so he could look. He had to filter through all the garbage like "Fuck each other!" and "Play "Find the nipple!" These slash fangirls didn't give up. He looked up at Ian, who was munching on his burrito like a middle schooler. The boy was so into his food right now. Eye contact and everything. Anthony was impressed. Ian looked up, feeling Anthony's eyes on him.

"What do you have there, Anthony?!" Ian said, turning the camera back on. Anthony looked back, hastily picking the first one he read because he didn't want it to seem like he had been staring at Ian the whole time when he was supposed to be finding twitter questions.

"After the arduous task of looking," Complete lie. " HotBustyAsian (I'm pretty sure that's a dude!) Says: What's the gayest thing you've ever done?" Anthony twitched, regretting this.

"Moved in with this butt pirate," Ian pointed to Anthony and the quarter filipino dutifully licked his tongue at the camera suggestively saying "Arr!"

" Beuticox (Anthony annunciated the word "COX") asks. Has Ian recently taken a shit?"

Ian thought for a moment. "Why...No I haven't, but I'll think of you when i do!" He said sweetly, batting his eyelashes at the camera. "How about you, Anthony?" Anthony looked at the camera shyly, sticking out his tongue looking satisfied.

"Don't worry, Ian. I've got us BOTH covered,"

"Eww! I don't want to be covered in shit!"

"Uh...yes you do?"

"Oh, you're right" Ian smiled stupidly and they went on to finish their meal.

"Anthony what would you rate this meal?!"

"6.98 butt pirates out of 10 butt pirates!"

"Alright! So that's it for Lunchtime with Smosh. See you next Thursday, BITCH!" Ian shut off the camera and snickered. "That's great," Anthony smiled. It made his heart all disgustingly warm seeing his best friend still get giddy about making YouTube videos for Smosh.

"Anthony, you look like you really did take a shit just now,"

"Maybe I did. Wanna change me?" Ian grimaced, gathering his garbage and quickly making his way to the car. Anthony smirked, following his lead. If it was one thing Anthony was good at, it was covering up his cheesy side so Ian wouldn't notice. It was easy; Just make him uncomfortable enough so that it could only be interpreted as a joke.

The honest truth was, he really admired Ian. Every day, Anthony hoped he would have enough determination as the other boy did. Maybe he was getting old, but the truth was, the one that was pulling Smosh's weight was Ian. Anthony was just coming along for the ride now. Before they were just a two-man show, but now with the rising popularity of Smosh Games, the Smosh team was expanding. Anthony was a little scared of this big change, but he knew they could handle it. Smosh just wasn't enough with just two anymore. He knew it was because Anthony's drive was waning.

Anthony may have been less enthusiastic about it, but he would never leave Smosh. Not as long as Ian was there with him.

He couldn't stop glancing at Ian in the car. Thank god the other man was driving today. Anthony was sure that, had this been reversed, someone would be scraping them off the road right about now. He wasn't sure why he was so interested in Ian today. He looked exactly the same as he always looked. Stupid bowl cut and all.

Ian caught him staring. Damn.

"Is there something on my face?" Anthony looked away, cheeks warming up slightly.

"Yeah, you look like you just got bukkake'd,"

"No way! There wasn't even that much sour cream on the burrito!" Anthony shrugged, and at the next stop light, Ian was looking in the mirror, finding out Anthony had lied and glared at him, calling him a douche.

At home, Ian went straight to work. Anthony commended his stamina, because the taller boy was completely drained. He watched Ian start editing, noticing how fluid everything went now. He supposed that was what six years of work got you. Consistency.

"Six fire trucking years," Ian looked up and into Anthony's eyes.

"Yeah. We're pretty crazy, huh? That's not even including all the other crazy shit we did before Smosh really took off."

"I just don't know how you can maintain the same amount of energy as you did back in the day," Anthony said, admiring Ian openly. Ian laughed.

"I don't, stupid. It's not like we're jumping around the room lip synching anime covers anymore like a bunch of idiots,"

"No, we're just sitting around acting like a bunch of idiots now,"

"Precisely," Ian looked back at the screen. He continued, still editing the video. "Besides, you have a lot of energy too. It's almost exhausting sometimes, seeing you so into it," Anthony's brows immediately shot up. This was unexpected.

"You think I'm the energetic one? I'm only energetic because of you!" Ian raised a brow.

"Well I guess we fuel each other's energy or something," Anthony smiled, amused at the red tint that crossed Ian's face.

"That sound's really gay, bro,"

"What can I say, dude," He grinned up creepily at Anthony. "You complete me..." Ian's attempt at creeping Anthony out and avoiding a cheesy situation, but the truth was, he thought that was kind of sweet.

"It's okay." Anthony said, patting his shoulder. "We can be butt pirates together," Ian flashed a genuine smile and Anthony felt something akin to butterflies start to storm his belly. His mouth went dry and he gripped the chair, not sure what was happening. His face got hot and he was suddenly very light headed.

"Woah, are you okay? You look like you just got your period,"

"Something like that..." Anthony stood up and walked out, slumping against the door after he closed it. His heart was racing and he was just glad to be out of that room. Was he sick? What the fuck was going on? It felt like when he had a crush on Hannah Olson from third grade. He hadn't felt like this since way back then.

But was that really true? This feeling wasn't unfamiliar, it only really happened when Ian was around. It wasn't nearly as debilitating, but it was essentially the same.

"What the fuck?" He said to the giant, stuffed Pikachu sitting in the corner of the room. He imagined the pokemon going "Piiiika..." and shrugging, and that made him feel better for the moment.

"Anthony, come on, why can't I come in?"

"NO!" Ian sighed, looking down at the soup he'd made for Anthony. The dumbass was sick but he wasn't eating anything. How was he supposed to get better?

"I made you soup!"

"You probably poisoned it!" Ian rolled his eyes. He put the soup down off to the side and went back. There was only one solution!

He ran to the door and made a kicking motion. "NINJA KICK!" He shouted, at the top of his lungs and attacked the door, but the only thing that it achieved was an explosion of pain in his foot and a loud, girly wail from Ian. "Hi-YAHGHHHH!" He cried, stumbling to his ass.

"IAN!" Anthony cried, opening the door. "You fucking idiot what did you think you would achieve by ninja kicking the door?!" Anthony knelt down in front of Ian and examined his foot. Ian was sure it wasn't broken but he'd probably sprained it. "Stupid..."

Feeble reasoning time! "But they do it on CSI all the ti-"

"Just...shut up." Anthony started rubbing his foot, trying to soothe the pain and fuck if it wasn't working. Ian was almost moaning!

"God... I really am a dumbass,"

"The first step to recovery is acceptance," Ian studied his dark haired friend. He looked pretty awake. Aside from slightly mussed hair, he had good colored complexion and he wasn't sweating grossly. He looked perfectly fine.

"Anthony, you don't look sick at all. Why aren't you eating anything?"

"I've been kind of nauseas lately," Ian looked at him and slapped his head.

"Oh my god, you're pregnant!" Anthony rolled his eyes, guffawing sarcastically. Ian pouted. "Anthony what the fuck is up!? I'm worried,"

"faaaag" Anthony chided. Ian rolled his eyes, sitting up and grabbing Anthony's shoulder.

"Hey!" he looked straight into his dark eyes, showing him he was serious. "Tell me what's going on?" Anthony lowered his eyes, an unreadable expression crossing his face. I

"I really don't think you want to know," Ian felt a bit apprehensive now, noticing Anthony's face was drawing closer and closer to his. Ian opened his mouth, about to speak, but was cut off when his best friend's lips were suddenly clamped onto his. He gripped Anthony's shoulders, about to push him away but...but...

...Damn Anthony was a good kisser...

After a few moments of gentle kissing, Anthony put his tongue in Ian's mouth, licking and exploring every inch he could. Ian's tongue was being sucked on hard. Anthony's kisses were desperate and hot now. Blue eyes rolled into the back of his head and he sighed against his friend's hot mouth, enjoying the contact more than he ought to. He knew he would regret it later, and he wasn't sure why it was happening, but he just didn't want it to end. He slipped his tongue into Anthony's mouth, experimentally, wondering how far the other man was willing to take this.

It wasn't until he heard Anthony let out a soft moan and grip his shoulders tight that he knew things were about to get dangerous. Ian pulled away, face hot and flushed and the beginnings of arousal making itself known in his pants. He looked into Anthony's deep dark eyes, unable to look away.

It was Anthony that broke their gaze. He stood up and walked back into his room, closing his door, leaving Ian with a heap of questions.

He just sucked face with his best friend... This wasn't something to be taken lightly.

But Ian wasn't very good at serious shit so lightly would have to do! He jumped up and pounded on the door.

"ANTHONY YOU JUST KISSED ME! COME OUT HERE NOW YOUNG MAN!"

"GO. A. WAY!"

"WHICH WAY?!" There was a pause as Anthony seriously considered, before replying.

"WAY: A?!" Ian frowned, thinking for a bit.

"WAY: ANTHONY?!" He deduced, proud of himself. Ian: The master of manipulating the conversation to work in his favor yay!

"FUU...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A BIT! I JUST FUCKING KISSED MY DUDE BEST FRIEND. I NEED TO HAVE A BREAK DOWN!"

"FINE, just clean up after you're done. I don't want your crusties everywhere!"

"FINE!"

Anthony shook his head. Leave Ian to joke about an accidental gay kiss! Ian was obviously trying to make this less uncomfortable for Anthony, which the older boy was grateful for, but he was kind of disappointed too. He wasn't sure why but he really wanted Ian's input on how he felt about the situation. He wanted to know if Ian hated it or maybe even...liked it? Anthony had decided to kiss Ian so the younger man would get off his back about it already, but he'd kissed back. Anthony hadn't been expecting that.

He threw his head against the bed. He wondered what Ian thought... But now he couldn't find out, because like an idiot he told Ian to leave. GRR! Why did he have to be such a drama queen!? He was probably growing a vagina as he lay there...

...But where would said vagina grow?... There's already a penis down there. He decided not to think about it too much.