This is by far the silliest shit I've ever written, or the silliest plot-bunny DarQuing ever given me.. So silly, or stupid, or pathetic, that I just had to write it grin
So here it goes, Hope you like it!
And thank you, or not, to DarQuing for the plot-bunny and the Beta-inggrin
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE SAVIOUR; How did Harry Potter do it?
I, Rita Skeeter, 43, have finally gotten an exclusive interview with none other than Harry Potter. Yes, my
dear readers, you read right. After befriending Harry Potter during the Tri-Wizard Tournament I have,
once again, managed to snag the shy boy away for a few private minutes to do an exclusive about how
Harry Potter finally defeated You-Know-Who. You-Know-Who's body was found in Muggle-village Little
Hangleton a little over a week ago. Harry Potter did not acknowledge himself as the successor at first but
after further research I found that the boy did in fact "vanquish the Dark Lord" as he was destined to
since birth.
'How does it feel to have avenged your parents, finally?' I ask the boy as a start. He takes a minute to
collect his thoughts before answering with long sigh.
'I didn't actually do it you know, it was thanks to Fred and George Weasley. I just delivered the message
to Voldemort.' Fred and George Weasley, both 19, are the creators of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. A
fairly new, but successful, store in Diagon Alley which sells "A good laugh" according to many sources.
'Come on Harry, don't be shy,' I continue, 'we all know you did it.'
'Well, they created the potion! I should give the credit to Albus Dumbledore and Romilda Vane for giving
me the idea in the first place!'He says. We all know who Albus Dumbledore is, but Romilda Vane was an
unfamiliar name to my knowledge but further research showed her as a young girl in Gryffindor House,
Hogwarts, who has a large crush on the Saviour, when commented on that fact his answer was; 'Well of
course she has a crush or something on me, she gave me a bloody Love Potion for crying out loud!' We
quickly left that subject on Mr Potter's insistence. I instead asked about this mysterious potion.
'Okay, I'll take this from the beginning yeah?' I nod for him to continue, 'Romilda gave me a Love Potion
disguised in cupcakes. My friend, Ron Weasley, accidentally thought they were one of his birthday
present. Well, things turned out bad from there but anyway, Dumbledore said I had "A power the Dark
Lord knows not" and that that power was my ability to feel love. You see, Voldemort didn't understand
love and felt pain for it. So after taking care of some.. things, I simply sent him cupcakes filled with
potion.' He finished his short little story. Unfortunately I have not yet discovered the "things" Mr Potter
was talking about. We moved on after he assured me that I would later know what he was talking about
although it was too painful to mention at the moment.
'What potion are we talking about?' I asked him later on and he gladly, thanks to our friendship, filled
me in.
'Hello?! How daft can you get? It was cupcakes filled with Love potion for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes!
Apparently, Voldemort liked cookies and shit like that. He didn't even check them for poison and the like,
he just ate them, fell in love with.. ehm, me.. and died from the pain!'..
The article continued, but Hermione couldn't stop laughing long enough to read. And that was nothing compared to Ron. Harry, or rather "The Saviour", just sat there and shook his head at his two best friends laughing.
"I still think it was stupid to make him fall in love with me. ME of all people!" He shrieked a few moments later. He was still horrified at the though that if it didn't kill him, Voldemort might have just ran to Harry to confess his undying love for his worst enemy. And of course the thought of Voldemort Crucio'ing someone for insulting Harry sent shivers down his back. It was something wrong with that image. Or Voldemort trying to impress him. Or.. or.. Trying to kiss him!
"Still Harry, you gotta admit, the bloke survived from a rebounding Killing Curse, but died from a harmless Love-potion. A Love Potion! He died from a harmless Love Potion!" Ron breathed it between his laughing, and eventually, Harry couldn't help but join in.
A Power the Dark Lord Knows Not, indeed.
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That line '..cookies and shit like that..' I had to write it as 'cookies' is one of the cutest word I've ever heard, and I always say 'Shit like that', just ask DarQuing lol
Like it? Like it not? Review ;)
Love you all
-Iiv