Huikala, a hawaii five-0 fanfic

Huikala
by Sammie

DISCLAIMER: Kinda glad not to claim this current season as mine.

RATING: T (I don't even bother with these any more)

SUMMARY: Kono makes amends to the one person to whom she owes a big apology.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
- STORY. No, none of "our favorite couple, Steve and Kono". Story takes place shortly after "Ma'ema'e" but long before "Lapa'au" and uses quotes from the "P&P" text and from the definitive "P&P" 1995 BBC adaptation.

. . . . . . . . . .

- CHIN AND MALIA. Best canon couple on "H50": perseverance, loyalty, selflessness. But no way Malia survives; imho, she goes by season's end - for dramatic effect. "[Kevin Whatley's] wife has a saying that the only good wife is a dead wife in television drama..." tptb, I dare (plead with!) you to defy my (low) expectations.

In addition, "H50" keeps making major changes (ones normally seen later in a show's life): introducing new, recurring characters (Joe White, Lori Weston) to replace/reduce originals (Hesse, Hills, Jameson, Jenna, Rachel, Grace, Mary, Catherine). By this time last year, Catherine appeared 2x, Mary 3x, and Grace 5x; Rachel appeared 1 in 4 episodes; of these four, Catherine and Grace appeared one time each this season, and Cath got sent away (no, I don't believe the assurances she's returning). Even the champ box hasn't appeared. Doesn't bode well for Malia.

. . . . . . . . . .

- LORI WESTON: I don't get why everybody is so upset at her introduction! Since she came, I watch "H50" under 15 minutes and now don't rewatch ever. I rekindled the dormant friendship with my trusty pal FastForward, who supports me through every episode. (Hey, if I fastforward Joss Whedon - JOSS WHEDON! - to get through "Dollhouse", who wouldn't I fastforward?) I've gotten my life back! ;-D

OK, seriously. When Lori first appeared in 2.02, I was just .:yawn:. about her - boring, but manageable. Now it's the dreaded Marx Sue, who has beautiful hair/eyes/mouth, makes everybody love her (including the stoic male main character), has a problematic romantic past, is brilliant at everything, and can get Netanyahu and Ahmadinejad to sit down to tea and sconces. I took the online Original Fiction Mary-Sue Litmus Test for Lori: first time, even with some checkboxes left open, I got "Irredeemable Sue: You're going to have to start over, my friend." Then I left blank every single "Do you" question (creator's thoughts on his own character) and STILL got "Mary-Sue: Your character needs some work in order to be believable." Yes, that bad.

Word on the street was that German signed to 12 episodes (through 2x13). Two separate websites with inside info have since confirmed that Lori appears in episode 14. Weston's sticking around for the long haul, imho: tptb believe everybody likes her except a few vocal fans, especially since the ratings are doing OK.

(I feel bad for Lauren German; imagine having to deal with the fan reaction of both those who like her [some - not all - who make the logically fallacious claim that Lori dislikers must be female] and those who don't [some - not all - who make gossipy, slanderous remarks about how German got/keeps the job]. Sure, her acting's not fabulous, but tptb have to take some credit for writing...that.)

Weston's introduction is also symptomatic of other stuff. Last year GP and DDK got little airtime, and now they're cut even more in favor of showcasing Lori. What I loved about last year - the family feel - is no longer there. (Seriously, writers? Kono gets shot hustling people to safety and only Chin checks on her, and Lori gets bonked on the head because she wasn't paying attention and Steve's all over her?) Storylines repeat (kidnapping tons of kids, taking evidence/money to exchange for hostage[s]), and this thing recurs where people near Steve betray him (Jenna, Joe) while Wo Fat's associates (Noshimuri and Hesse) turn out to be patsies who secretly help.

The two best things about "H50" aren't good enough to make me stay: if I want bromance, I have "Psych" (McDanno, I'mma let you finish, but Shawn and Gus are the best TV bromance of all time), and if I want to see Grace Park act rather than be a pretty potted plant on set, I have "Battlestar".

Sooo...Lori stays, I'm gone. People say that if somebody doesn't like this season to stop watching, and they're right - why watch entertainment which doesn't entertain? I'll be around here, though - sorry to those of you who cheered that I'm leaving :-) . Perhaps NOT watching this season will reinspire my muse to finish two FF I started season 1. I'm going to ask a favor: if Lori gets bumped off the show, please let me know.

As to whether Lori Weston becomes a permanent member - if her personal car turns out to be a Chevy, we'll know.

. . . . . . . . . .

ON A MORE CHEERFUL NOTE: As a longtime fan of JibJab ("Oh, Big Box Mart / What have you sold to me / We used to be your customers / Now we're your employees"), I love their holiday-themed JibJabs, where you upload your personal faces to a JJ video. I don't know who did the "H50" ones, but they are FUNNY - a lot more entertaining to watch than this season. Hope it's OK to post.

Malia entered her small house and flicked on a light, the golden glow piercing the warm but dark night. She dropped her bag by the door before kicking off her shoes.

She then immediately locked the front door and checked the windows. Nervous habit...she had been engaged to a cop, after all.

The first time she had seen what Chin's job was like was when she had gone to surprise him at police headquarters, when he was still in his rookie year. She'd run into him in the parking lot as she'd gone in, and she would never forget it: Chin had had a bloodied nose, and the blood had dried on his shirt and hands and face as he was dealing with the criminal handcuffed in front of him. He had stopped short, looking at her in surprise. The criminal in the back had noticed his cop's distraction and made a lot of remarks to her about what he would do to her, comments which went from the lewd to the downright chilling.

It wasn't the blood - she was a doctor, after all. It was the cold, callous laugh of amusement from the killer Chin was pulling out of the back of the cop car.

She'd debated leaving immediately, but she didn't want to worry him, so she waited quietly by his desk, which had been pointed out to her by his then-boss, John McGarrett. (Ironic, she thinks, that Chin's still working for a McGarrett.) When Chin had shown up again, he was clean and very apologetic. She'd looked up into those kind, protective eyes and listened to his soft voice, asking if she was all right...and she fell just a little bit more in love with him, if that were possible.

It was then she learned, for a tiny bit, what kind of world a policeman lived in. It had made her more cautious, more wary.

Since that incident, Chin Ho taught her basic self-defense and then enough martial arts to protect herself. He taught her to use a gun, although she never bought one. He taught her to watch her surroundings, to -

The knock at the door made her jump.

She crossed the hallway on silent, bare feet and stopped to peek out the peephole, then nearly gasped aloud. She quickly unlocked the door and opened it, torn between delight and concern. "Kono, hi," she said, her voice warm but uncertain.

"Malia," she said with a small, awkward smile, shifting nervously on her feet. "I know it's, um, late. May I - come in?"

"Of course, of course," Malia gave an embarrassed smile. She'd forgotten her manners in her surprise. As Kono entered, the older woman shut and locked the door and waved her towards the table in the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? Tea or coffee or something?"

She suddenly stopped short, seeing a brief flash of white on Kono's arm. She moved swiftly, grabbing Kono's hand with one of her own to hold her arm steady, the other hand flicking back the flutter sleeve and staring in horror at the yards of gauze on Kono's shoulder. The other woman pulled away in embarrassment. "Kono, we have to - "

"It's fine. I've already been to the hospital," Kono reassured her. "I've already gotten it checked out. Really."

Malia calmed at that, looking back into the younger woman's face, then nodding and dropping Kono's hand. The cop didn't seem to want to talk about it, so she didn't press for the story behind the wound. Her own curiosity did not trump Kono's health...or Chin's concern. "Does Chin know?"

The younger woman stared at her for a long moment, and then she laughed - a real, genuine, happy laugh. Malia hadn't heard it for ages, and she'd forgotten how infectious Kono's delight could be - she could light up anything around her. Still, the doctor had yet to figure out how Kono's wound or her question about Chin were funny.

She waited for an explanation, but Kono wasn't about to tell her. She held up a big box of Liliha coco puffs with her uninjured arm, the happy laughter changing into a shy, uncertain grin on her lips, as if she wanted the older woman to smile but didn't know if she would.

To be honest, that expression touched Malia more than the actual gift, and she couldn't stop the smile that spread over her own face. She gave Kono a playful 'You are so bad' look. "I've got to fit into my dress tomorrow," she tsked playfully. "I have to go to a charity dinner."

Malia was rewarded with a genuine smile now, with the dimples Kono was so famous for. The other woman seemed to cheer at the playful tone, and both relaxed. "Oh, the coco puffs won't hit your thighs tomorrow. It's the day after you have to worry about."

Malia laughed lightly, then put the kettle on for some tea and poured two glasses of milk.

It had been a tradition with them - the athletic high school surfer and the medical student. Chin Ho had found out that the way to Malia's heart was through her stomach by way of coco puffs, and Kono was only too glad to help. It had become a tradition: after one of Kono's surfing meets, the three of them sit with glasses of milk to wash down coco puffs.

It was nice to get to do that now as the two women sat down, each with a tall, cold glass of milk, and fell to discussing the new green tea coco puffs Liliha was putting out. The mundaneness made the circumstances kind of weird, given their history of the last three years, but Kono was making an effort, and Malia could appreciate that.

There was a lull in the conversation, and Malia got up to retrieve the hot water for tea. When she returned, she found Kono looking uncomfortable, and the doctor could feel her own heart sink. Things had been awkward but at least amiable, rather than just coldly polite, and she would have preferred even that to the discomfort now.

"I...I came tonight because...I owe you an apology. I want to apologize," Kono said, quietly but firmly. "I...I've treated you like complete crap these last three years, and I apologize," she repeated.

Malia was struck dumb for a moment, standing there stunned with a tea kettle in her hands. When she managed to recover, she started, "Kono - "

"Please let me finish," Kono replied, her voice firm but quick. She paused, then took a deep breath as her eyes dropped to the tabletop. "I gotta finish this or - " she swallowed. "I knew you," she said, soft, her voice cracking slightly. "I knew you. I knew who you were, what type of person you were, and I still let myself believe that you would leave Chin willingly."

She drew herself up, as if steeling herself for a blow, but continued looking down at the tabletop. "I should've known. I knew you. I knew how much you loved him - how much you love him."

She paused, then continued, "I had occurred to me that Chin would break up with you to protect you, but - how he acted afterwards - and how everybody assumed - and he didn't correct it." The words came out in oft-repeated jumbles, but Malia could sort out all she wanted to say. "I - I just thought - "

"Kono, you can't expect to have figured out everything," Malia said quietly.

"But I knew you," Kono repeated yet again, her eyes lifting now to look straight at her, and Malia could see the pain in her eyes. She could tell something deeper was going on - the pain of deep regret mixed with a sense of betrayal. She didn't know what was going on, but she kept quiet, allowing the younger woman to speak. "I saw how you looked at Chin Ho, and I heard how you talked to him and about him. And I let myself believe you would leave him."

Malia reached across the table almost instinctively, no longer seeing the adult cop but the teenage surfer she'd first met. She squeezed the other woman's hand. "Kono, you're not entirely at fault. If you remember, you called me incessantly the first month trying to get answers from me."

Kono looked away briefly, her eyes glassy with tears, and gave a small smile in remembrance. "I remember that." She gave a sad, wistful laugh. "I did think you might report me for harassment."

Malia chuckled at that, then said quietly, "Perhaps I should have told you then - told you everything."

Kono shook her head. "I know why you didn't. I understand. You were protecting my opinion of Chin Ho. And...most likely me." She gave a mirthless laugh. "I was rather naive then about love and all that, believing it could conquer all."

Malia studied the woman in front of her; she couldn't miss the sadness in Kono's voice, one of loss. The woman she was seeing now was different from the one she'd seen in the hospital earlier that year - this one seemed older, wiser, more world-weary. She had no idea what had happened to the other woman to get this kind of reaction from her. Malia wasn't sure she liked the change.

When she and Chin Ho had first begun dating, Kono had been delighted with her older cousin's choice. Almost ten years his junior, she had a tendency to like really whatever he did. Since she had none, Chin Ho had been her surrogate brother, and by extension, Malia another sister. The younger woman had almost idolized Chin and Malia's relationship as one she wanted; when a college student, Kono herself had told Malia that she had broken up with a boyfriend because, well, their relationship wasn't built on the same sort of ease and friendship and trust she had witnessed in her older cousin's relationship. It had been a high ideal to uphold for a girl that age, but Malia had never felt bad about it: Chin Ho loved her, and Malia had never found it hard to love him back - he was the sort of man who was worthy of her devotion. He made mistakes, but he was never callous.

"Chin," Kono began softly, her voice breaking through Malia's trip down memory lane. "I - I asked him, finally, why you two broke up. And he told me about how you used to call him after he broke off the relationship. How you tried to reach out to him, sending him cards on Christmas, his birthday. How he never responded to any of it, believing it was easier for everybody if no contact was made."

"He was trying to protect me," Malia said quietly. "I didn't want it, but I know why he did it."

"Malia, he told me about the research position," Kono replied, an edge to her voice.

Malia stared at her, stunned. She pulled her hand away, even as she breathed in a long, drawn-out breath and exhaled slowly. She could feel her heart stop. This - this would explain so much. "What do you know? What did he know?"

"That you were offered a cancer research position at the cancer center at the University of Hawaii, which came with a position on the ethics review board or institutional review board or whatever it is. That you were not taken because they felt that your engagement to a man suspected of stealing two hundred thousand dollars called into question your judgment and would call into question the board's integrity."

Malia's mouth fell open slightly. "How did you find out that last part?" she asked, more sharply than she intended.

"Chin and I are related to everybody on these islands," Kono replied. "When you didn't get the job, Chin pressed one of our cousins who worked in the UH offices to find out."

"I...he knew I applied, and I told him when I didn't get it, but I never told him why," Malia murmured, more to herself. "He...called and left a message on my answering machine. And I knew he suspected the reason why, but - " she trailed off. She gave a small, mirthless chuckle. "It doesn't matter. He broke it off with me even before that, though."

"It reinforced for him why leaving you was a good idea," Kono countered.

She took a deep breath. "I knew he wanted to protect me," she said softly. "I know that...that's just him. But I didn't want his protection. I wanted to be with him. He took that choice from me."

"I know." Kono ran a hand over her face, her tone now one of affectionate irritation. "I would have ripped him a new one if I'd known."

Malia laughed now, a tearful but happy laugh. "I know. I...I didn't want to change your view of your cousin." She took a deep breath. "I was afraid you'd be his only advocate," she said with a small, bitter laugh. How right she'd been. Malia had leaned on friends for information, and the reports were always about how his idealistic, fierce young cousin refused to believe the charges and decked anybody who suggested otherwise. It had comforted her that somebody was there.

Kono leaned back in her chair, slouching slightly in it, stretching out as she looked at Malia. "You must have felt so alone," she said softly.

"I had my friends and my family," Malia replied quietly. "It just - I got a lot of, 'We never liked him' attempts at comfort. It's not comforting, you know," she replied, with almost a painfully amused tone. "'We never liked him' just tells the dumped person, 'Hey, we were smarter than you were' or 'We thought your judgment was crap' or 'We hated the one person you wanted to spend your life with!'" At that, Kono laughed, and Malia joined in, even as tears stung at her eyes in remembrance. "But I just kept thinking of Chin. I can't imagine your family was all that happy about our break-up."

"They don't get to complain," Kono replied sharply. "A lot of them abandoned him - willingly." She paused, then sighed. "The worst was that he hadn't done it."

"I know. He told me what had happened."

"I don't know how I would have lasted three years," Kono murmured, almost to herself. "Three years of the looks, of the silence from people you knew and trusted. Ohana," she snorted derisively, under her breath.

Malia gave her a sidelong glance, noting the slightly lost, hurt look the other woman wore when she thought nobody was looking. Kono said nothing, however, so the doctor didn't press.

After a moment, the cop said softly, "It was when you came to see me. At my house." She took a deep breath. "I was living in a little apartment when you and Chin broke up, and yet you looked me up, and you came to my house to talk to me. I accused you of trying to score points with him, but - " she took a deep breath. "Once I had time to think about it, I...knew you'd never tell him you'd come to see me."

She paused. "And it was tonight, when you invited me in, and then when you saw me wounded - how you first asked after me, and then asked if Chin knew about it." She smiled then, her eyes dancing, always looking as if she harbored a wonderful, funny secret. "From all that - I just kept thinking how far you were willing to go because you worried for him, and how you thought of him first. And it told me all I needed to know." She gave the doctor a weak smile.

After a moment, she looked back up at Malia. "I...I wanted to say I'm sorry. For turning on you like that."

Malia took her hand again. "You're forgiven, if it makes you feel better," she smiled at the younger woman. "But...you were the one who reached out the most. From your family, after the break-up, I only heard from you. You wanted answers. You believed I had a side to the story. You didn't assume I'd just leave Chin at the first sign of trouble - at least, you didn't believe it until I refused to return your calls. You tried to reach me. You don't know how much I appreciated that you tried." She squeezed the younger woman's hand. "I know I didn't give you the answers you wanted, but you still tried. I - you don't know how much I appreciated that."

Kono's eyes turned glassy with unshed tears, and she looked blankly past Malia for a moment. After a minute, her gaze came back, as if she had composed herself, and gave Malia a glassy smile. "I don't expect that we'll...that anything will ever be the same. I don't know if you could trust me again. But - but I did want to apologize."

Malia reached over quickly for Kono's other hand, gripping them both in hers. "Kono, yes, I was hurt. I won't say I wasn't. But I know you stopped talking to me out of love for Chin Ho, not because you forgot me. And you tried: you contacted me, you tried to get my side. This all means a lot to me. You didn't callously abandon me. What you did you did out of love and loyalty. I totally get that."

Kono gave her a small, weak smile, and Malia knew it would take a long time - perhaps never - that Kono would forgive herself for what she'd done. "Thank you," she barely managed to get out.

The two women sat in silence for a long time, and then Malia squeezed her hands. "Kono, are you all right? Please, if you'll not tell me, talk to Chin. Tell him what's going on with you."

The woman across the table from her blinked, the emotions playing across her eyes rapidly disappearing into one of confusion, then into slow realization. "What? I - oh, I never - of course not." She gave a laugh, an actual happy, free one. "I was undercover. It's over and done now."

"Un - der - " Malia drew out. "Chin didn't know, did he."

Kono shook her head, her eyes flickering away briefly. "No, I couldn't tell him."

Malia sucked in a breath. No wonder Chin had been so worried. It had been tearing him apart; she could tell these things. It must have been a huge case for Kono not even to be allowed to tell Chin Ho. "Chin must have pounded McGarrett when he found out," she murmured. "How could your boss send you under without telling Chin?"

"It - I was working for HPD, not 5-0," Kono replied. "It was, uh - my suspension from 5-0 was my cover."

Malia nodded, falling silent. "Is that how you got this?" she asked finally, quietly, pointing towards the large lump on Kono's shoulder, hidden by a large, elbow-length flutter sleeve.

"It's fine. I got shot. But it's recovering."

"Shot," Malia murmured, then closed her eyes briefly. She'd always worried about Chin on the job, and now Kono was, too. She sighed. "You've seen a doctor, you said?"

Kono looked puzzled at the comment. "Yes, I have."

"I don't know," Malia muttered. "From the sound of it, being McGarrett's team, you might not have." When Kono laughed, however, it wasn't that free, light one, but a slightly sad one, and Malia tilted her head slightly to the side, looking at her. "Did the assignment go all right?"

Kono smiled. "Yeah. It went really well, actually." Her eyes twinkled with pride, delight. "We got him, redhanded, along with his lackeys."

Malia offered her a proud grin. "Wouldn't have expected anything less. I assume you got reinstated."

"Yes."

"Bet you're glad it's over."

Her smile dimmed slightly then, and she said out loud, "Yeah, I suppose."

"Was it a bad experience?" Malia asked gently.

She swallowed, then drew herself up. "There were a lot of good things that came out of it. You know, it - I - it was the first time...the guy who hired me - he - I get that he was being opportunistic, using me to get at a case he'd been working on. But he was the first time who saw me. Not Chin's cousin, not McGarrett's undercover rookie. He had a lot of faith in my abilities - me, alone."

"You got out from underneath their shadows," Malia nodded, smiling.

"And, trust me, our family and the McGarretts cast long shadows," Kono smiled, her tone light. "I'm...I'm grateful for that."

"But?" Malia prodded gently.

"I - " Kono paused, as if she'd been trying to avoid having to think about it at all. "I...discovered some things," she said quietly, sadly. "Some things I...I wish I never I'd never learned." She gave a 'c'est la vie' smile. "I...I really appreciate you coming to see me." She smiled wearily. "I...I really - that you would make that effort, find my new address, drive out to see me - it meant so much. More than you know."

Malia gave her unhurt arm a squeeze and a gentle smile, even as her eyes searched the other woman's face for some sort of clue as to all of this. What had happened? What could have possibly happened to make her own short (and, in the doctor's good opinion, frankly disastrous) visit mean so much? It was clear something big had happened, but the older woman doubted Kono felt comfortable telling her right now. It was all right; they'd have a lot of years ahead, as Malia had no intention of letting Chin Ho go again, and with Chin came his bright-eyed cousin. "You mean a lot to me, Kono."

Kono looked back at her, her large eyes still sad and guilt-ridden but accepting. She said nothing for a long time, and then she asked, her voice small and a little lost, "How do you forgive? How do you forgive somebody who abandoned you when you needed them most?"

At that, the older woman looked at her, her eyes softening, no longer seeing the adult cop but the teenage surfer. She just wanted to reach over and hug the younger woman, but she didn't know if they were at that point again. She just grabbed both of Kono's hands tightly in her own, letting their contact be the comfort the younger woman needed.

After a moment, Kono swallowed and steeled her voice to sound lighter and more joking in tone. "So, uh, Chin tells me...you forgave him for - being a jerk. His words. Not mine."

Malia laughed at that. "And what were your words?"

"You can ask him," she replied, her eyes twinkling. "I believe that would fall under all the news that's not fit to print." The two women shared a chuckle, and then Kono finished, "He confirmed that you're back together."

Malia paused at that, looking straight at her, but Kono wore a inscrutable expression. "Do we have your blessing?"

The look changed to one of amusement, Kono's eyes twinkling. "Do you need my blessing?"

"No," Malia chuckled. No, they didn't need it. But, to the good doctor, Kono was the one person in Chin's family whose opinion mattered. Her loyalty, even her attempts to reach Malia right after the break-up, had made Kono the family member Malia respected most. She did not want to be on the outs with the one person who had always been their biggest supporter. "But we'd - I'd - like to have it all the same."

Kono smiled at that, then reached across towards her. She paused, uncertain, then laid a warm hand on Malia's forearm, the first time that night the younger woman had reached out to the other. "Then go to it."

Malia laid her free hand over Kono's, squeezing her fingers in a silent thank-you.

After a moment, Kono got up and brushed off some imaginary lint from her pants. "I better go. It's late. Chin has been calling me incessantly since I was shot yesterday. And after our fight over you this afternoon, he's gotten even crazier." She picked up her cell phone and held it up to show Malia the call history.

"You should call him back," Malia admonished. "He's worried."

"He's like an old woman," Kono muttered under her breath, but acknowledged, "I was pretty angry with him for not telling me about you and the break-up. He most likely believes I'm now mad at both you AND him."

Malia just chuckled. "When are you going to tell him you've turned the corner on us being back together?"

Kono shrugged with a mischievous grin, her eyes twinkling a little. "Not right now, for sure."

Malia gave her a playfully chastising look. "Kono. That's not fair to him," she admonished.

Kono just shrugged with a cheeky look. "A 'woman may take liberties with her husband which a brother will not always allow in a sister more than ten years younger than himself', but a sister the brother doesn't get to choose also is allowed different liberties. Let him stew awhile. He kept me in the dark three years."

Malia shook a finger at her playfully, but Kono just smiled, unrepentant. The doctor walked her to the door, and when they got there, they stood awkwardly before the doctor extended her arms tentatively. Kono smiled and stepped into them and hugged her tightly. "Good night."

Malia smiled as she released her, squeezing her good arm gently. "Good night. And thanks for coming over."

Kono shook her head. "No. It's what I should have done."

The older woman watched from her doorway as the other trotted out to her car, seemingly lighter. She beeped her car to unlock it - Malia really, REALLY wished that she would drive a more reliable brand of car - then stopped.

Kono turned, her arms resting on the roof of the car and on the edge of the open door. "I wasn't wrong, was I," she said, her voice light. "When I said your and Chin's relationship could conquer anything."

Malia laughed.

END