The latest episode left me devastated. I'm trying to get over it in all the ways I can. Vidding, writing, whatever helps. I need some optimism now, so I decided to have Grace fix what she basically broke. Sorry, it might be full of mistakes, I basically wrote it down in three minutes, I had let it all out.

I hope you will enjoy it and feel a little better too.

The last two weeks had been a total breakdown. Alicia knew she did the right thing, she needed to concentrate on her kids, give them the full attention they had lacked of lately. But she felt empty, alone, still devastated after the break-up. It hit her harder than she thought it would. Every time her eyes casually met Will's eyes in the firm, she had to watch away to avoid tearing up. When she couldn't, she would just run and have a good cry in the bathroom.

Just when things were finally starting to be good again, just when she started to feel good again, everything crashed down on her, once again. And what made that worse, it was her own decision. She needed to clear the mess in her life and take time for herself. She needed to make clear what she really wanted.

Then why did she feel so bad? Why all these tears? She knew the answer, but she kept on ignoring it, because it would only make things even harder.

The last two weeks had been the worst of his life. Will knew it was the right thing, he needed to concentrate on his career, on the investigation, he needed to protect himself, and to protect her by not involving her in the mess that was about to shake his life. But he felt empty, alone, still devastated after the break-up. Every time his eyes casually met Alicia's eyes in the firm, he had to watch away, pretending he was busy reading papers, or pretending he didn't see her watching him back at all.

Just when things were finally starting to be good, just when he realized he was ready for commitment, and he was sure of that, now that he finally had her, now that he knew how it was like to be with her, he had lost her. Things would never be right for them, that was all he could think about. The timing would never be right for them. It was never supposed to be and in his heart, he always knew it.

Then why did he feel so bad? Why all the pain? He knew the answer, but he kept on ignoring it, because it would only make things even harder.

Alicia had started to work less hours, she loved to get home early, cook a decent dinner for her and for the kids. It was a nice distraction, it was the only moment when her thoughts could concentrate on something which wasn't Will. She was in the living room with Zach and Grace, eating home-made pizza, for once something not frozen or ready-to-eat. Both kids helped her and they had a lot of fun, leaving the kitchen a total mess. But she had a good laugh, something she had missed in the last two weeks. At 8 Zach left, he had a date with Neesa. "Don't be late. And if you do, call me, ok?" she was always a little worried after that accident with Grace, she needed to make sure she always knew where her kids were, every single minute. "I won't be late, I promise. Good night" and he left.

There were few minutes of silence, as Alicia and Grace sat alone in front of the almost empty plates. Both lost in her thoughts, they got brought back to reality by Alicia's cell phone ringing. Grace noticed the name on the screen. Alicia took the phone, let out a deep breath before pressing the red button. If it was work, they had agreed on no more late urgencies, so he wasn't supposed to call. And if it wasn't… well, she wasn't ready to discuss anything else.

"Was it Will?" Grace broke the silence. "Yes, he was." She started to toy with the piece of pizza left in her plate, not looking at her daughter in the eyes. She was afraid that if she did, she might give away to much of how she was feeling about it. Grace went on, tentatively. "Did you… break up? With him?" Alicia was caught by surprise. It wasn't the first time that Grace mentioned Will, but it was the first time that she was so direct in her questions. "How do you know?" She tried to avoid answering. "Zach heard some people talk, at your firm… Did you break up?" She should have expected it, having Zach helping her out at work was risky. And here they were. She thought about the conversation they had months ago, about being honest to each other. She hadn't been honest with her kids in long time, she tried to keep too many things hidden, and now the pieces were coming back together. "Yeah, we did." she said it a soft voice, looking down. It still hurt. "Was it because of me?" Grace was just starting to realize that everything happened after that day, she started to feel guilty. Alicia noticed her look and tried to reassure. "No no no, it was…" What was it? Guilt? Fear? She didn't know herself, how was she supposed to explain it to her daughter? "It was just… getting complicated…"

she smiled at her daughter, a sweet but sad smile. She felt somehow uncomfortable, discussing her miserable love life with her daughter. She couldn't help but think that things were supposed to be the other way around. And this made her smile. Grace kept starting at her mother, still not satisfied with her answers. "Do you miss him?" Alicia looked briefly at her, not sure what to answer. She had tried to avoid thinking about it and here she was, her daughter was basically forcing her to face her feelings. She looked back at the phone, still in her hands, and softly said… "I do….", then looked up at Grace and went on, "but it's ok, I'll get over it… it's… ok." Grace smiled at her mom, but she could see how hurt she was. "We should clean all the mess we left in the kitchen. Will you help me?" Alicia said it, starting to head towards the kitchen. "Yes, just give me a minute" Grace was thoughtful. "Ok."

After making sure that her mother was gone, Grace took her cell phone.

One minute later, Will was still in his office, looking outside the window, lost in thought. He didn't want to go home. He missed their late talks, he missed their teasing on the phone, he missed going to sleep thinking about her, about them together. It just hurt. He heard his cell phone beeping and took it to check the incoming message. It was Alicia. He stared at the name for a moment, before finding the strenght to read it. "We need to talk. Meet me at my place in half an hour. I miss you." His heart started to throb. He didn't even give himself the time to think. He grabbed his coat and was out of his office in seconds.

tbc…