Disclaimer- Lost and all characters belong to JJ and Damon. Title belongs to Starsailor

A/N- Okay, I think that I need to see a psychiatrist, because I can never finish anything that I start, and in the process start up about five new things never to be finished. That's basically where this story came from. But I have some ideas on where to go with it, so it has some potential. Let's all be optomists here.

And I know it's under the Charlie/Claire section, and I swear that it will be a Charlie/Claire fic in coming chapters, even though it seems like it will be a Shannon/Boone one in this chapter. It's going to be a Charlie/Claire and Shannon/Boone fic with the emphasis on the Charlie/Claire, just not in this chapter. There, that's what I'm trying to say.

The title comes from a Starsailor song called "Restless Heart." Starsailor is excellent, if you haven't heard them, it's about time you did. There is another small Starsailor reference in this chapter, and if you know what it is, we need to talk. Because I've yet to meet another Starsailor fan. The title so far doesn't have any significance whatsoever to the story, it was just the song I was listening to when I wrote it.

That's all.

Say I'm Your Heart

Claire sat at her desk watching the minutes tick away. She desperately wanted to get out of here for the night. It had been a long day and she had Aaron for the night. She watched Shannon fighting heatedly with her step-brother, Boone, through the glass partition. Those two were in a constant state of tumult. Shannon's face was a cool facade, that only Claire could read due to being Shannon's secretary for two years as well as being her sole confidante ever since the day a year and a half ago when Shannon broke down at work and spilled everything to Claire. Ever since, Shannon told Claire everything about her and Boone's incestuous love affair, how Sabrina, Boone's mom, meddled into their relationship and how Boone often tossed her aside, saying that she was only someone for him to fool around with. It was a dysfunctional relationship, but Claire knew that Shannon had genuine feelings of love for Boone, that were definitely more than sisterly. By the looks of it, Boone was casually tossing Shannon aside again for some other plastic girl. Shannon was holding herself together remarkably well, but as soon as Boone left, Claire knew she would be a wreck. Shannon always said that she had to keep herself composed in front of Boone, so that he thought that he was only someone for her to fool around with too.

Abruptly, Boone pushed his way out of Shannon's office. His eyes were dark and angry, and when he threw a look at her, Claire thought that she had been burned. After slamming the door dramatically (rather unsuccessfully, because it was a power assist door), Claire turned to look at her friend, whos shoulders finally sagged after Boone left the vicinity. Immediatly, Claire got up and went to comfort her friend.

"Shan?" she said, tentatively poking her head in. Shannon looked horrible up close. Furious red spots were covering Shannon's face, tears rimmed her eyes, threatening to fall, her body looked wearied and ragged. She looked positively defeated.

"He's done it again, Claire. There's another girl," Shannon said, looking up to the ceiling to keep her tears from falling. "Why does he always do this to me?" she said, hurt, anger and helplessness seeping into her voice. Claire made a sympathetic sound and came into the office, shutting the door behind her.

Personally, Claire didn't see why Shannon was so swept away by Boone. He was too intense for Claire. According to Shannon, he was a gentle, sweet, loving guy, but Claire just didn't see it. Maybe love just blinded Shannon to Boone's faults. She was always there for him when it didn't work out with his latest girl, all thoughts of how he had brushed her aside so easily before were swept away. It really pained Claire how much of a doormat Shannon was to Boone. She had tried many times to make Shannon swear off of Boone, but all the work she had done with Shannon were forgotten as soon as Boone stepped back into her house. When Claire confronted Shannon about this, Shannon told her that she couldn't help it, that she would rather take the suffering that came along with Boone because the nights when there were no other girls were the best of her life.

But Shannon and Boone's messed up relationship wasn't a total waste, there was a small bit of good that came along with it. It served Claire with another reason never to fall in love. Never to fall in love again, that is. Not that she needed another reason anyway. She already had a very jaded outlook on love and the things that came along with it. The last time she fell in love, she ended up with a child, but without a boyfriend or husband. Not that she ever looked at Aaron as a mistake though. No, of all areas in her life, Aaron was the only one that seemed to be right.

In motherhood, Claire had found her niche. The idea of becoming a mother at 23 had terrified Claire at first. If she could have, she probably would have followed Thomas out of that front door. As it were, she couldn't have and didn't follow him out of the door and out of the responsibility of being a parent. The first month without Thomas, her sixth month of her pregnancy, had been the worst. She sat at the front door with the phone in her hand, certain that Thomas would either walk back in or call her and apologize, and she would only be so eager to do so. If hadn't been for Shannon, who had recently taken her into her confidence, who came into Claire's house and ripped the phone out of her hand and took her away from the front door, Claire would probably still be sitting there, waiting for him. After Shannon's intervention, Claire came to accept the fact that Thomas wasn't coming back and realized that she could survive without him. Without all men, for that matter. It was around that time when Claire's heart hardened and cooled towards the general male popoulation. But when Aaron was born, all reservations she had towards becoming a mother were completely erased and forgotten as soon as she saw his smooth skin, his tiny fingers with his perfect little nails, his already unruly mop of blonde curls, and those eyes-- those huge innocent eyes that mirrored her own almost exactly, minus the harsh outlook. Immediatly, Claire fell unconditionally in love with this tiny perfect being-- her own flesh and blood. Nothing could make a long, hard day like this one better than coming home to Aaron's big smile, his warm eyes and his uncalculated love. In her storm of hatred against men, Aaron was her white dove, her hope that not all men were lechers and bloodsuckers.

"Her name is Natasha," Shannon said miserably. "And she is a designer. Sabrina introduced them at some fashion show. Apparently Natasha designs some of the wedding dresses at Sabrina's company," Shannon explained, looking determinedly at the ceiling; she refused to cry at work. "She did this, that insufferable bitch!" Shannon said, finding her anger. She looked down from the ceiling, her eyes blazing. "She always hated me, ever since she married my father. After he died she hated me even more, like it was my fault he died and left me as a burden to her. And she always hated how close Boone and I were, because I showed Boone what a momma's boy he is and I put a rift between them. She hates me because she knows that I'm the only one who will raise a hand to her, I'm the only one who can defeat her. Only now she has beaten me," Shannon said, visibly crumbling as she slumped back into her chair, her eyes fixed at the ceiling again.

Claire bit her lip. She was never any good in these situations, the only hurts she could heal were Aaron's. Shannon would never let Claire touch her during these vulnerable times, because any human contact and comfort would allow her emotions to catch up with her, no matter how hard or how long Shannon looked up at the ceiling, and everything Claire thought of to say to Shannon sounded empty and vapid.

"Maybe this is the time to finally break free, Shan, to get away from Boone and all the hurt that follows him. Once you are free of him, you will be so much happier, I know you will! At first it will be hard, you think that you can't do it, but if you brazen it out, you will be so much better for it! I just hate seeing you like this, Shannon, and no matter how great he is when there is no one else, it can't be worth all this pain!" Claire finally burst out, voicing an opinion that she had been keeping to herself for one and a half years.

Shannon looked down at Claire from the ceiling, her eyes swimming. "You just don't get it, Claire. You hate all men, you are as cold as ice. I need men, I need their attention and their touch in order to feel secure. But all the men, they give me their attention-- for awhile-- and they pet and pull at me, but in the end I'm just another mark to them. With Boone it's different. He makes me feel special. He gives me the attention I want, and he pets and pulls at me as much as the next guy, but when I'm with him, I don't feel like I'm a mark, a high class whore. I feel loved and important, and only Boone can make me feel that way. It doesn't matter to me that he's my stepbrother or that he doesn't feel the same way about me. If you have been looked at and used as much as I have, Claire, you too would suffer through these rough times to actually be seen and loved from time to time."

Claire bit her lip, she wanted so much to tell Shannon that she was contradicting herself by saying that Boone looked at her and loved her and in the same breath say that he could toss her aside so easily. But Shannon looked like she was about to break down, and Claire didn't think that Shannon wanted to get into another fight, much less would she be able to considering her current defeated state.

Shannon sighed resignedly. "Just say it, Claire. I can tell that you have something to say and you know how I hate it when people won't say what's on their minds. It shows weakness," Shannon said, tapping into her usual prickly personality.

"It's just that... how can you say that Boone sees you and loves you when he always threws you aside when someone else walks by? If you ask me, that doesn't sound like he loves or sees you," Claire said tentatively, watching Shannon carefully.

To her surprise, Shannon had a small, sad smile on her face. "Boone has always been a spoiled, pampered child. He always drops whatever he is holding when something newer or prettier comes his way. But I always noticed, even when we were younger, he would always go back to the thing he loves the most. That's how I know he loves me, Claire. He always comes back."

But what if he doesn't come back this time? Claire shouted in her head. But even if she had said it out loud, Claire knew that Shannon wouldn't hear her. She didn't want to hear her. All her life Shannon had been pushed around from one step-family to the next, she hadn't been taught that she deserved better than to be pushed around by her step-brother and lover too.

Claire nodded in a placatory way, standing up from her chair opposite of Shannon. "I just don't like seeing you this way, Shannon, and I don't know how to make you feel any better."

Shannon turned her sad smile on to Claire. "There's nothing that you can do to make me feel better. Only I can do that," Shannon said in an odd philosophical way.

Claire nodded again, heading towards the door. She rested her hand on the handle and turned back to Shannon, "You are always welcome at my place, Shannon. And I have lots of sad love movies and ice cream in the freezer," Claire said invitingly.

Shannon smiled at her. "No, I think I better face this one alone. Thanks, though,"

Claire nodded easily, "Goodnight, Shannon."

"Night, Claire"

Claire walked over to her desk, shut down her computer, grabbed her keys, purse and coat and prepared to leave. She cringed as she saw that it was already 6:12. Fifteen minutes late. Thomas was not going to be happy.

After Aaron was born and an announcement was placed in the paper, Thomas came to see Claire She had been shocked and upset at first and wouldn't allow him to see Aaron. After some conversation that was about as civil as Claire could get with Thomas, he told her that he wanted to see Aaron and have at least partial custody of him. After about a month of fighting and finally resorting to lawyers, an agreement was reached. Thomas had joint custody of Aaron and he had Aaron on the weekends and most holidays.

He had asked Claire if he could stay with him an extra day this week, and Claire had agreed easily. Although she and Thomas would probably never settle their differences, he had a tender spot for his son and Claire would grudgingly admit that he was a good father.

She pulled into the lot of her apartment complex, and grimaced as she saw Thomas' car in the public lot. She parked hurriedly, locked the car and ran up the stairs to her apartment.

"Ma!" came Aaron's boyish squeal of delight as Claire walked down the hall. Aaron's delight did not match his father's surly, scowling face, however.

"You're late," Thomas greeted her, dourly.

"There was an emergency at work," Claire said steadily, but she bristled at the way Thomas acted as if he had ownership over how her time was spent.

Aaron wiggled in Thomas' arms, wanting to go to his mother, who he hadn't seen in three days. Claire quickly unlocked her apartment door and pushed it open, setting her purse and keys on the table and hanging up her coat while Thomas said goodbye to Aaron. She turned to them as he finished, and he handed Aaron to Claire, along with his little suitcase of clothes. Thomas and Claire exchanged tight smiles as they said their goodbye. He turned one last bright smile on Aaron and left with a wave and a promise to see him on Friday.

Claire shut the door, and walked into her apartment, burying her face in Aaron's neck and breathing in the sweet baby smell of him, and finally she was alone with the only man she could find it in her heart to love.