She trudged slowly through the halls of her lonely apartment, feeling her heavy heart burden her shoulders. A hand went to her chest, over her heart and the moment she reached her bedroom, she collapsed onto the bed, meant for two. She was moved to sobs and she buried her face into her plain comforter, her silvery hair hiding her pale face. The fear of the unknown sucked her under, suffocating her with despair and a bone shattering terror that nothing could stop. It wreaked havoc on her small, lithe body and she crumpled up, the tears flowed endlessly as the soft murmur of the television echoed quietly.
"This just in, a plane has just flown into the second tower of the World Trade Center…"
Her heart constricted and she fisted the blankets, the terror too much for her. Her eyes still closed, she begged for any being out there to grant her one and only wish. That her wife would be okay and would come home to her soon. She heard the door open and heard soft footsteps walk through the apartment.
"Mommy? I'm home." Ilena quickly wiped her tears and went out to greet her daughter, who had just started kindergarten. She walked over to her daughter and scooped her into her arms and held her close to her. "Mommy? What's wrong?" The small girl asked, wrapping her small arms around her mother. "Everything's okay sweetheart. How was school?" She quickly changed the subject, not wanting to worry the poor girl. The girl leaned back, her mother holding her to her hip. "We learned the alphabet today mommy. We also learned more about reading and colors!" She told her excitedly, wanting to see her mom smile. Ilena forced a smile and nuzzled the girls nose. "That's wonderful! Can you show me?"
The girl began to sing the alphabet, and Ilena kissed her cheek, congratulating her when she was done. "You are so smart and your voice is beautiful!" She wished she could feel happier for her daughter's accomplishments but her eyes wandered over to the television, where the towers were on fire. She grabbed the remote and turned it off, not wanting to scar Clare. "Sweetheart, go put your bag in your room and I'll make you a snack. And after dinner, how about we make something for mama when she gets home?" Clare clapped excitedly, taking her things in her room and running back out to her mom.
Ilena had taken the past couple days off from work so she could watch Clare while Teresa went away on a business trip to New York City. She had been so excited, saying how she wished the whole family could go. She had left yesterday and her flight back was suppose to be that morning, around the time of all of the hijackings. She had a layover in one of the cities that the hijacked planes were in and Ilena could not stop worrying about her. But she also had to be strong for their daughter and that much she could do. She kept telling herself that everything would be fine, that Teresa would be home soon. She had to, or she would break. So, she focused on making Clare smile and laugh, while she made dinner. She let the girl watch some movies, not daring to turn on the TV. The images would scar her for the rest of her life and the fear would bubble over. She had to maintain the little composure she had. Within a couple hours, she had made Teresa's favorite dish: Lasagna. The blonde being an Italian loved her native dishes and, almost dutifully, learned to make the dish for her. Clare smiled, loving her mother's cooking, took her plate. "Mama will be so happy when she comes home!" She cheered, taking a messy bite. Ilena grabbed some napkins and sat at the small table to watch a movie with Clare.
Being a young girl, the movies usually involved Barbie or some form of Disney movie. She quote her favorite parts and Ilena would smile. But on the inside, she was falling apart and not even her daughter's beautiful face could deter her solemn thoughts from her Teresa. She picked at her food, occasionally tuning into the movie. When they were done, Clare helped her mom with the dishes before running off to her room to grab crayons and paper. She came back, sprawling in the middle in the floor, going to work on a master piece. Ilena walked over, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead before going to her room. She closed the door and pulled out her phone. No missed calls, which Ilena counted as a blessing. There was only a text from that morning telling the elven looking woman that her lover was on her way home.
"Morning, beautiful. Miss me yet? I'm boarding now and I should be home soon. Can't wait to see my girls. I love you. Pass the message on to Clare for me, ok? See you soon. xoxox T"
Ilena choked back a sob, trying not to cry again. She dialed the number and listened to it ring for what felt like an eternity. All she got was the voicemail. She closed her eyes and her trembling lips almost couldn't form the words she so badly wanted to say. She swallowed passed the lump in her throat, and prepared herself. "Hey gorgeous, I miss you. And I love you so much. Call me when you land. Clare and I love you so much. Hurry home." Her voice cracked and sounded broken, words coming out in chokes. She hung up and looked to the picture on their shared nightstand. Their wedding photo stood tall and proud and Ilena remembered the day quite fondly. It was a simple wedding full of friends and stubborn families. But it had been perfect. A shaky breath left her lips as her door opened and there stood Clare. She ran over to her mom, hugging around her legs, suddenly upset.
"Mommy, why are you crying!" She shocked voice came loud and panicked. The woman wiped her tears and picked her daughter up again, hugging her. She held her and walked over to the bed and sat her down, not sure of what to say. "Mommy is just feeling a little under the weather sweetheart, I'll be okay. Don't you worry about a thing. Now, are you going to show me your drawing, or is it a surprise?" She asked, leaning down to her level. The girl was not convinced but being young and naïve she was convinced that parents never lied. She handed Ilena a drawing and smiled. "Can we put it on the fridge mommy?" Ilena took it and felt tears come to her eyes once again. It was a picture of herself and Teresa holding each of Clare's hands and the sun was smiling at them. She smiled and nodded. "Of course we can, this is too beautiful to not go up in the kitchen! Do you want to put it on there yourself, my budding artist?" She asked, picking Clare up again, resting her on her hip. Clare nodded and rested her head against Ilena's shoulder.
Clare hung her picture on the fridge and after such a long day, they decided on more Barbie and Cinderella movies, and Clare was sound asleep in her mom's lap. Ilena smiled, playing her hair. It was getting late now. Teresa had yet to show her face. She had yet to let her know of her return home. Ilena tucked her phone into her pocket and picked up Clare, and took her to bed. She tucked her in and kissed her forehead, tears threatening to spill again. As she left, her thoughts haunted her and began to chisel away at her calm and cool demeanor. Thoughts of her raising Clare alone were killing her from the inside. Having to tell Clare why her mama wasn't coming home. Explaining heaven to their daughter would scar her, cut her so deep she would bleed to her death. She curled up on the couch and turned on the TV finally. It was then she found out the towers had collapsed. New York City was littered with ashes and debris. People were crying, people were missing and people were dying. She covered her mouth to muffle the involuntary sobs that racked her. She shook her head, praying and begging to any higher being that would here her. 'Haven't we been through enough? We were finally happy… Please don't take her from me… Please…'
The sound of the door knob turning and the jingling of keys caught her attention and she sprang up, frozen in fear and shock. The door opened and a woman with blonde wavy hair walked through, stretching and yawning. She opened her eyes to see Ilena and smiled. "Hey beautiful, I-" She was cut off as Ilena threw herself at Teresa, arms wrapping around her neck. The sobs came in uncontrollable heaves and shudders and her knees gave out beneath her, all of her weight leaning on Teresa. The blonde woman was in shock as she dropped her purse and wrapped her strong arms around her smaller lover's waist. "Lena, baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt? I'm right here, shh, it's okay… I promise." Ilena's hand wove itself into luscious blonde hair and her tears came, seemingly unending. She couldn't even explain to Teresa why she was so upset. But Teresa sat on the floor, stroking Ilena's back, running her slender fingers through her pale hair, brushing a lock behind her elven hear.
Once Ilena composed herself and her sobs turned to silent crying and sniffling, Teresa pulled her back to look at her. She wiped away her tears and took Ilena's chin, waiting for her to speak. Ilena averted her gaze, still feeling tears ready to fall. "The World Trade Center was hit by hijacked planes. So was the Pentagon and the White House was suppose to be hit. The World Trade Center fell, leaving the city in ashes." She explained, finally bring her bloodshot eyes to meet Teresa's shocked stare. Ilena's body shook and she cupped Teresa's face, as a tear fell. "I was so scared that I lost you. That I would never see you again…" Her voice was broken and her heart pounded and she wrapped her arms around Teresa again, Teresa returned the favor.
"Oh my God, Ilena…" She said, devastation showing clearly on her face. "I had no idea, I am so sorry. My second flight got delayed and I hadn't even heard… Oh my god…" Teresa also began to shake, and looked to the TV to see what Ilena had been so distressed over. She watched the tower come down and gasped. "Ilena… I'm so sorry, I'm so-" She was cut off by Ilena pressing her lips to hers. Teresa kissed her back, through the tears and fear. She took her by the waist and pulled her closer, not breaking the kiss. Ilena was the one to pull away and rested her forehead against Teresa's. "I love you. I love you so much. I don't know what I would've done…" She whispered, yet another tears cascading down her fine, alabaster cheek, splotched pink by her frantic, pressing fear. Teresa kissed her again. "I'm right here, Lena. I'm right here. It's okay… It's okay."
Little footsteps reached their ears and when they looked to the hallway, there was their little girl. She rubbed her eyes and her face instantly lit up when she saw her other mom. "Mama!" She ran over and wrapped her arms around them both. Teresa wrapped her arms around Clare and Ilena, pulling them close. "My girls… I missed you so so much…" She whispered, feeling tears well up in her own dark eyes, and she kissed both on the forehead. "I missed you too, Mama. I think mommy missed you a lot." She said and Teresa ran her fingers through her hair. "I missed her too, baby girl. I missed you so much, my day was empty without you both." She told her, pulling her close. Clare pulled back and looked at her parents with pleading eyes. "Mama, Mommy, can we sleep together tonight?" She asked, her voice begging. Teresa and Ilena smiled. "Of course we can, Clare. Mama's gotta put on her pajamas first okay? C'mon, let's go." Clare stood up and Teresa pulled Ilena to her feet and made sure she was stable enough. Ilena nodded, taking Clare by the hand. Teresa locked the door and left everything on the floor, following her family into her and Ilena's bedroom. She quickly pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a tshirt before crawling into bed. Ilena changed into a shirt and sweats and picked up Clare, laying her in the middle and turned off the light.
"We love you, Clare. Always have-"
"And always will." Ilena finshed, kissing Clare on her forehead again, Teresa following suit. Clare gave both her parents a sloppy kiss before her eyes fluttered closed. "Love you mama. Love you mommy. Good night…" She trailed off, fast asleep and both woman smiled. Teresa leaned over, kissing Ilena and took her hand before laying down. "I love you both so much. As long as I can help, I promise I will not leave you." Ilena squeezed her hand. "I know. I love you, Teresa." She looked to her sleeping daughter and smiled softly. "I love you too Clare."
Before they knew it, all three girls were fast asleep, the moon bearing witness to a rare happy ending. The sky seemed so sad that disastrous day. Only one star twinkled in applause, the one happy ending that awful day.
…Some people just get lucky sometimes…