Back To Normal
Chapter One
Steve Austin was losing his mind. This was merely his own totally non-clinical diagnosis, of course, but it was the only explanation he could come up with for what was going on in his head. He stood at the kitchen window, watching his wife flit around the backyard, happily filling the bird feeders. No one would ever guess by looking at her that Jaime had survived two horrific attacks within just months of each other, but Steve knew; in fact, that thought never, ever seemed to leave him.
He'd come so close to losing her for good, when Franklin Bailey had tried to gain a warped sense of revenge against Steve for past (imagined) wrongs by taking away the one part of Steve's life that meant more to him than everything else combined: Jaime. Bailey had tortured her, hurting her terribly, before he shot her and attempted to bury her alive, right in front of Steve. Jaime had barely recovered from the ordeal when she and Steve were sent on an assignment that had - at the same time - succeeded and gone very, very wrong. They'd both returned to the States battered, bruised and extremely grateful to be alive and together, in each other's arms.
At times he felt an overwhelming need to envelop her in his arms, to hide her away from the world and protect her from further harm or pain. Then there were darker thoughts, the ones that told him to leave her, divorce her, to save her from the danger she was in by simply being his wife. Steve knew that neither impulse was entirely rational, and he could never bring himself to actually leave her, but that knowledge didn't rid him of the unwelcome thoughts or ease his guilt and confusion.
Jaime knew intuitively that something was wrong, and it pained her deeply that he wouldn't talk to her about it. That was why she was filling the seed holders much more quickly than she normally would. Jaime had an appointment to keep.
"I shouldn't be too long," she told Steve, holding him close for a sweet kiss and then smiling directly into his eyes, hoping her love was penetrating the black fog he seemed to be living in.
"Didn't you just see Rudy a few days ago?" he asked.
"Yeah, but you know how he is."
"Is...something wrong?"
Jaime reached up to gently touch his cheek. "Nothing like that - please don't worry. He just wants to talk, you know, to see how we - how I've been dealing with things. You can come with me, if you want..."
"I'm just gonna take a nap, I think." Steve kissed her once more and reluctantly opened his arms to let her leave.
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The dreams assaulted him from the second he closed his eyes. He was digging frantically, all the while knowing with dreadful, sinking certainty, that somewhere beneath him Jaime was - at that very moment - taking her very last breath. In spite of his best efforts, he was too late to save her...
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"Jaime, always great to see you," Rudy said, smiling and looking her over carefully at the same time. "Lynda told me you were coming in, but she didn't say why. Feeling sick, Honey?"
"No, it's nothing like that. I just...well...Rudy, I need to talk to you," Jaime stammered.
"Ok; let's go back to my office, grab some coffee, and you can tell me all about it." He led her toward a chair in the office with his gentle caring touch, got some coffee for them both and took a chair next to his patient rather than sitting at his desk.
"It's Steve," Jaime told him, staring at the floor. "He's pretending everything's ok, but I see his face when he doesn't know I'm looking, and he's so sad. He's become distant, and I want to help him, but he won't talk about it." Jaime looked up at the kind, old doctor with tears welling in her eyes. "Rudy, I'm losing him."
Rudy placed a box of tissues in front of her and took her hand. "Honey, I don't think that's possible. Steve has loved you, and only you, for most of his life. It does sound like depression might be gripping him pretty hard, though. Not surprising, considering everything you've both been through in the last few months."
"Rudy, he's so unlike his normal self. It makes me think about when I was rejecting my bionics; I mean, when my body was. My personality did a 180. Could - could that be happening to Steve?"
"I suppose it's possible, but he's been bionic for years now, without having that problem."
"You told me a serious injury could re-trigger it in me. Could an injury trigger it for the first time? Because the change in him is that extreme."
"Well, why don't you send him in to see me? I'll give him a complete, head-to-toe check up, and we'll see what we find."
Jaime nodded. "Thank you."
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Steve was completely paralyzed, frozen in place, and could only watch helplessly as Jaime was brutally thrown about and beaten by unseen hands. She kept rising to her feet, only to be bashed again - and again - until she finally fell to the ground bloodied and broken, and didn't move anymore, ever again.
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