Title: The Journey Home
Author: antarianprincess
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The Mighty Ducks and all its characters belong to Disney. I own nothing and only write for enjoyment.
Warnings: Slash!
Summary: Adam Banks has never had a place he could call home. Now in the aftermath of the official JV/Varsity game, Adam and Charlie face a broken friendship. But Adam may want something more than friendship from Charlie. Adam/Charlie slash.
Notes: Song is Absence of Fear by Jewel

The Journey Home
Chapter 1: Homeless

Inside my skin
There is this space...
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches
Inside my heart
There's an empty room.
It's waiting for lightning;
It's waiting for you
I am wanting and...
I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Muscles and sinew
Velvet and stone...
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans
My bones call to you
In their separate skin.
I make myself translucent
To let you in, for..
I am wanting, and...
I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
There is this hunger
This restlessness inside of me
And it knows that you're no stranger,
You're my gravity
My hands will adore you
Through all darkness, and aim
Lay you out in moonlight
And reinvent your name
For I am wanting, and...
I am needing you
To be here...
I need you near...
Inside the absence of fear.

Adam POV

I remember once as a little boy, I had looked up the word "home" in the dictionary and I was surprised to find that such a simple word had so many definitions.

But one in particular struck me: An environment offering security and happiness. And I remember looking around my huge house, furnished and decorated according to my mother's expensive and lavish tastes, realizing for the first time just how empty my home and my heart was.

Back then I was a young and naive boy of ten, so proud of myself for things I never earned and so desperate to follow in the footsteps of my older brother who had an extraordinary talent in hockey. When I made the Hawks team, I actually thought I had found a home among my new teammates. It was all very simple in those days. I was the undisputed star and favorite of the team and our families were all friends. When you live in a small, affluent suburban community, there is generally no way to avoid that.

District Five was not the enemy. They were just the losers we had fun picking on because we could, and I, who craved acceptance more than anything in the world, could only follow my teammates as we bullied Charlie Conway and his friends. Until, of course, those same friends that I had held so dear abandoned me as soon as they found out that I was going to play for the Ducks.

The Ducks. Once again, I really thought I had fought for and established lasting friendships with them. After all, Ducks fly together and I wanted nothing more than to be counted as one of them. I love hockey and I love the Ducks where I thought that I had found a home and I was willing to give all that I had for the team. But they were just as quick to abandon me when I joined Varsity as the Hawks were when I joined the Ducks.

And then there was Charlie. The one that tried to welcome me and shake my hand in that locker room on the first day when everyone else was looking at me as if I was the scum of the earth. The one that passed the puck to me when no one else would in that first game against the Huskies. The one that made me his best friend and made me part of the team. The one that I fell in love with.
The one who deserted me faster than any of the Ducks when I got promoted to Varsity. Of all the betrayals in my life, his cut deeper and closer to my heart than I ever thought possible.

And now the JV/Varsity game is over and we have won. The Ducks have taken me back and we are all good friends again although I cannot help but question their sincerity as much as I want to believe that they care about me as I care about them.

I look up warily and see my teammates leaving the locker room, excitedly yelling and hugging each other. Charlie is looking back at me as if trying to decide whether it would be wise decision to try to talk to me.

"Hey Banksie." So I see he has decided to be brave. He is smiling sheepishly at me, approaching cautiously as if he is afraid that I might suddenly hit him or unleash the hurt feelings that I have kept inside for so long.

I quickly mutter the expected greeting back to him. This tension between us really saddens me. It reminds me of a time, before this whole mess at Eden Hall, when we were really and truly best friends. He used to bounce happily up to me whenever he saw me, and start talking about anything and everything. And I would listen to him, laugh and tell him not to go through with his stupid idea even as his eyes sparkled mischievously and I knew he wouldn't listen to anything I said. Now there is a quiet but unmistakable reserve in everything that is said between us. I get this sensation that I'm slowly treading over pieces of broken glass. One wrong move and the glass will cut the delicate veins in my feet, destroying any semblance of a friendship between us.

Charlie is chattering happily besides me kinda like the old days. That's just like Charlie. He would much rather pretend that nothing ever happened. And I have to smile because Charlie should know by now that his method never works. But I would be hypocritical if I denied him this small relief because I don't honestly how to go about repairing the rift between us myself as much as I want to.

An awkward silence suddenly ensues. Apparently Charlie was expecting a reply and I had not been listening so now I have no idea what to say. I blush furiously trying to use my non-existent social skills to save myself.

"Uhh…well right, I really have to go now," Charlie stammers and starts gracelessly retreating.

"Oh okay, sure go ahead," I say back, searching frantically in my mind for anything witty to say. Now this is the sort of thing that would be useful to learn in charm school. Not ballroom dancing, as happy as I would be to take Charlie in my arms and sweep him off his feet.

"I umm…have to meet Linda for that Coke," Charlie stuttered before finally racing out of the locker room, mercifully putting an end to our awkward pretenses at conversation.

And if Charlie had stopped to look back at that second, he would have seen me, broken-hearted staring at his retreating back. But he never did look back at me. I may live in a million dollar house but never have in my life, have I felt so homeless.