Silence

This is sort of loosely based (mostly the first chapter) on the drama called "Shen Qing Mi Ma"/ "Silence" but I assure you that I am not completely copying the plot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shinshi Doumei Cross or Shen Qing Mi Ma!

Note: Some OOC. Haine is not from the Kamiya clan and Shizumasa doesn't exist here… Haine and Ushio are also in the same class in high school.

Some (probably minor) spoilers!

UPDATE: (07/23/11) Okay, so I made some changes to most of the chapters to make it more comprehensible, less OOC, less like the drama and, hopefully (especially the first chapter because I abhor writing the first chapter in stories), less cheesy. Enjoy~

Chapter 1
Tangled Destinies

"Ushio, hurry up! We'll miss the bus!" I called after my lavender-haired best friend, Amamiya Ushio, as we ran toward the bus stop.

We were the picture of contrasts; while I was average in appearance (though Ushio would kindly beg to differ) and intelligence as well as born of a fairly wealthy family consisting of my parents, Otomiya Itsuki and Ryouka, and my adorable little brother, Kusame, Ushio was quiet, smart and the heir to an incredibly rich family famous for being masters of tea ceremony. Well, like they say, opposites attract!

Our story is really one to tell. I, being quite mischievous when I was young, decided to take the "short cut" during a school hiking trip in elementary school while her school coincidentally had theirs the same day. Lost and hungry, I stumbled on her path by chance while she was heading back to their meeting place for lunch and Ushio, being the gracious soul that she is, gave me some food and helped me find my way back to my worried teachers.

Needless to say, she and I became close friends. She and I still attend different elementary schools though; that's why, today, and every Saturday afternoon of the past two months, she and I have been travelling to the library right after school to study for the upcoming middle school entrance exams and enter the same middle school. (Truthfully, I'm the only one who needs to study so Ushio just helps me.)

Thankfully, we reached the bus in time and spent our time talking about what we would do for the after our exams as we waited for our stop. Our conversation was suddenly interrupted when a middle-aged lady next to us screamed and pointed at the windshield.

Everyone in the bus turned to look forward and saw a black Honda coming at the bus at full-speed. My eyes widened in fright as it approached us and shifted to look at the bus driver, who was trying to steer the bus away from the vehicle's tracks. Our position in the front of the bus didn't help me calm myself as I watched the scene unfold before me.

The whole bus was in chaos, I was trembling so fiercely that I wouldn't be surprised if I caused an earthquake. Ushio was trying to calm me down, although we both knew it was hopeless. The bus driver wouldn't be able to steer it fast enough and the passengers who were fighting desperately to open the emergency exit, which seemed to be ironically stuck in that crucial moment, wouldn't be able to escape their shared fate.

You know how people say time slows down when you are close to death? Well… They're big, fat liars.

My heart was beating ferociously and, as the car drew nearer in what seemed like a faster speed, I did the last thing I could: I screamed until I could hear nothing except my own voice.

Everything slowly faded from my vision, replaced by darkness, and the acute feeling of pain and fear stayed with me as the bus collided mercilessly with the cement road. Before I was completely swallowed by unconsciousness, Ushio called my name.

"Haine!"

I opened my eyes slightly, after what seemed like eternity. My body felt heavy and my vision was blurry.

In my daze, I could sense the faint smell of medicine, the screech of wheels and quick footsteps and the presence Ushio nearby (though I couldn't tell whether she was injured or not) alongside an undetermined number of nurses and doctors whispering some incomprehensible medical terms as they walked.

'Oh, I'm not dead…' I thought absentmindedly, not quite clearheaded, as I tried to open my eyes wider and failed as the strength I just regained began to slip away from me.

My eyes were now drooping heavily and were threatening to bring me back to unconsciousness. I tried to say something, to find out if Ushio was okay, but I couldn't get any words out.

Darkness claimed me as silently as it had released me.

When I woke up again, it was already Sunday afternoon. I found myself clad in green hospital clothes, lying in a bed with white sheets. Kusame was reading a shounen manga in the corner, oblivious to the fact that I had woken up. I could barely hear our parents talking to someone, probably a doctor, in worried voices.

I sat up with difficulty; Kusame must have heard me because he looked up from the manga in surprise and called our parents.

I smiled when I saw them enter with a black-haired doctor. Although they looked understandably tired and worried, they grinned back happily.

I knew that I was the cause of their concern but I didn't want them to worry. When I opened my mouth to say something to ease their worry, nothing came out. I stared at them in shock, clutching my throat lightly with trembling hands as I tried several more times.

Kusame, being the kawaii, over-protective little brother he is, started demanding for an explanation in a frantic voice while I struggled to make sense of what happened to me. From the corner of my eye, I could see my parents fidgeting and giving the doctor nervous glances.

'Don't say it…' I thought desperately, knowing it was pointless, knowing what their following words would be. 'I don't want to hear it.'

Carefully, the doctor, who introduced himself as "Senri", explained to me that the shock from the accident caused me to lose my voice. I had somehow damaged my vocal chords, probably from the impact of the crash, and would not be able to speak for a long period of time… "Or never…" Though he did not say it, the unsaid phrase hung in the air.

I admit, I was scared. I didn't want to be mute. I wanted to talk to my family and friends, not write something to them or use sign language.

That's when I started crying. No sobs or wails. I didn't have the ability to do that anymore. Instead, shaky breaths escaped my mouth and tears fell on the white bed sheets.

Funny- my name is supposed to mean "ash" and "sound". I guess people should start calling me "Hai" now. But the thought made me more depressed.

Through my blurred vision, I could see Kusame arguing, his voice trembling, with the doctor during my soundless weeping. "Are kidding? What do you mean she's not going to speak again? You're a doctor, aren't you? Help my sister!" Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes but he wouldn't let them.

Senri-sensei whispered sadly as a reply, "Even doctors can't cure everything." After explaining certain things about medical fees and such, all of which I tuned out, he and my family left, promising to come back tomorrow, and leaving me in the silence that would now be characterized as my own.

Three days have already passed since the incident and Senri-sensei finally allowed me to go out in the hospital grounds now that I had enough strength to do so. I'm glad; it's really boring in the hospital when my family or Ushio, who had visited me everyday after being released for minor cuts and bruises, aren't here.

Even though all my physical injuries were on the road to recovery, my voice remained silent. My only means of communication now was a small notebook given to me by Senri-sensei because I haven't learned sign language yet. Thankfully, the hospital was kind enough to offer sign language lessons to me, my family, and even Ushio but, to be perfectly honest, I can't see how this will be able to help me considering the fact that I'm clearly not a very fast learner. I mean, if I'm doing poorly in regular Japanese classes that I've had my whole life, how could I possibly learn a whole new method of expressing myself? The task was intimidating but I, encouraged by everyone, endured the boring classes for an hour everyday.

I now wandered down the hallway of the hospital, a pencil and notebook in my bandaged left hand. Within the hour, I've managed to circle the hospital corridors twice, looking for something to ease my boredom. It was lunchtime when I decided to head outside and bask in the warm sunshine I had been deprived of since my admittance.

I sat on a bench with the homemade bento Okaa-san dropped off before going to work on my lap and ate my food with great satisfaction as I observed the large garden. The bench that I was sitting on gave me a perfect view of the well-maintained grounds that decorated with plants of all colours and sizes. The sight was only made better by an intricately carved fountain in the shape of an eagle with water spurting from its beak. I sigh in content at the scene, wishing that everything would be alright.

In that instant, the sound of footsteps disturbed the peace and I looked around to find the source of the noise. There was a blue-haired boy, around my age, slowly limping toward a relatively nearby tree, using a crutch to support his injured, if the cast was any indication, right leg. Too engrossed with his task, he failed to notice me staring at him; the air of refined dignity that he radiated, enhanced by his perfectly pressed clothing and princely physical charms, entranced me completely.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I quickly finished the remaining bits of food in my bento and gathered the container in my arms as I tried to quietly creep up to the maple tree he has now leaning on, eyes closed while he listened to a walkman that materialized from his pocket. Unfortunately, it turns out that I'm really bad at sneaking up behind people because, halfway to my destination, his cerulean eyes snapped open and he turned to face me almost angrily, crutch held up in a defensive stance.

Nervously, I waved at him with a smile but he frowned, lowered his hands and looked at me in confusion. "You're from that accident a few days ago…" He stated calmly in his rather masculine voice as he took off his earphones and faced me fully. I nodded quickly, wondering how he knew. "What, if you don't mind my asking, is your name?"

Normally, I would've answered calmly but I got nervous under his intense gaze and started writing the characters of my name in the air distractedly. It was a stupid thing to do, yes, that much was obvious when I noticed him raise an eyebrow, clearly unable to read the backwards invisible kanji, so I, regaining my senses, took the notebook and pencil from my pocket and started writing my name neatly.

"Did you lose your voice from the accident?"

His question held no hidden meaning and his voice had a kind tone. I nodded, amazed at his intuition, before showing him what I wrote on my notebook. He read the characters carefully then whispered my name questioningly, looking at me curiously from under his dark blue locks. "Otomiya Haine?" I smiled at him and bowed respectfully.

"My name is Touguu Takanari." He said, not needing the invitation I planned to give. He paused and added, as an afterthought, "You don't have to add any formalities." I nodded again and wrote, "You can just call me Haine."

Takanari leaned back on the maple tree and inquired, "Would you like to join me?" I grinned at him and accepted his invitation, taking my place in the shade beside him. We sat silently, gazing at the garden around us before I, unable to control my curiosity, scribbled the question that nagged me since I saw him, "What happened to your leg?"

Takanari looked at the note but didn't speak. A minute passed without his reply and I instantly regretted mentioning it. When he spoke again, a few seconds later, his voice came in a whisper. "Fear… is a dangerous thing…" His eyes seemed to darken, like the midnight sky into a raging storm.

His sudden change in demeanour worried me so I, unable to express it vocally, hastily bowed in apology, which he, much to my surprise, understood perfectly.

"No need to apologize for the faults of others. In any case, what's done is done." He smiled reassuringly. "Besides… If I didn't get hurt, we probably wouldn't have met, would we?"

After that encounter, Takanari and I met more often; sometimes in the garden or at the roof, but our favourite spot was the gazebo in the forest behind the hospital. We found it hidden in the densely packed trees when we, completely bored indoors, decided to explore the hospital grounds. We frequently sat there to eat lunch or write notes to each other as he declared it unfair that he did all the talking. Each note that passed between us during the two weeks of our acquaintance eventually found its way into a used chocolate box, a former get well soon present from some classmates at school, that was now hidden under my pillow.

I had just finished stuffing yet another memento of our friendship into the packed box when I heard his distinct voice somewhere outside my room. Having lost the ability to talk, my hearing seemed to have become more acute as I can often pick up his voice from a distance- though that might only apply to Takanari since I spend most of my time with him.

I peeked out the door, ready to wave in greeting when I realized that he was having a heated conversation with a couple who seemed, judging from the woman's striking blue hair and the man's amazingly similar facial features, to be his parents. Curious, I watched them talk through the small gap of the door until his parents finally left.

Uncertainly, I opened the door and looked out to see Takanari standing in the hallway with a rare dazed expression on his usually serene features. Slowly, I waved at him, trying to catch his attention; he snapped out of his reverie immediately and his usual expression reappeared on his face as he began to hobble toward me.

"Would you like to go to lunch now then?" he asked in a normal tone, not knowing what I just had seen. I nodded and we wordlessly collected our lunches and headed to the gazebo.

When we got there, we began to eat our lunches silently- we were both probably thinking of what had occurred earlier.

Just as I was about to ask him about it, he spoke, "Do you want to see a secret?"

I nodded eagerly, curiosity and anticipation erasing my earlier question from my mind. We quickly finished our food and hurriedly stowed away our lunchboxes in our rooms before meeting at the hospital lobby.

'Where are we going?' I signed to him questioningly. Having been with me for two weeks, he managed to pick up some sign language and even occasionally endured the hour-long morning classes with me.

He smiled and pressed his index finger against his lips secretively as he indicated, using his crutch, for me to follow him. I obeyed eagerly.

We entered a dark room in some forgotten corner of the hospital, rarely frequented if at all. Anxiously, I reached out before me, hoping to find Takanari, and breathed out in relief when his warm hand held mine. Unable to express my confusion in the darkness, I tugged on his warm hand impatiently; only when I heard is mellow voice by my ear did I stop, though now blushing pink in the darkness.

"Just look ahead."

The moment the words left his lips, the room blazed with lights of every colour and from every direction. Everywhere I turned, Christmas lights, toys of all sizes, and decorations from all seasons begged for my attention. I gasped in delight, stepping forward to be immersed in the simple wonder of it all.

"It's nothing too special…" came Takanari's slightly embarrassed voice from behind me as I fingered a delicate crystal figurine of an angel. "This place is just where the hospital staff keeps all their decorations and any unclaimed items over the years. I happened to come across it when you were having a check up with Senri-sensei…"

"It's beautiful." I signed cheerfully, watching his face brighten in satisfaction when he deciphered my hand motions.

"I hoped you would like it." He confessed with a shy smile, making his way through the mass of forgotten treasures carefully to stand beside me. "Actually… I wanted this to be my present to you for all the special occasions that I've missed thus far and… for those that I will miss…"

Though the smile remained on my face, I felt my heart drop.

I knew, deep down, that we would eventually part ways. I guess that I just assumed that he and I would somehow, against whatever odds that may exist, continue to be friends and meet again. And I assumed that he wanted the same thing.

I guess… I was wrong.

Slowly, I felt my smile falter as this realization hit me. Gingerly, I returned the figurine on the mountain of things I found it on so that I turned away from Takanari.

"Haine… Please… Please look at me…"

I couldn't resist the sad voice that begged for my attention so I looked back and took out the overused notebook and pencil from my pocket and scribbled: "So… You've been released?"

He nodded then gently took my pencil from me. "My parents are planning on moving again for their business ventures," he wrote. "Although I don't know when I'll even come back… We'll still be friends, right?"

I nodded quickly, giving him a small smile. "Of course," I mouthed carefully. He smiled back.

As he handed back my belongings, he said, "Every year, on this day, let's try to meet at the gazebo then. It may be difficult, with us living so far apart now but, one day, I want to hear you voice."

He held up his pinkie, "Promise?" I hooked mine onto it and mouthed, "Promise."

The next day, I unexpectedly woke up to Takanari's voice.

'Am I dreaming?' I asked myself in confusion, tapping my cheeks lightly to wake me up from my strange reverie.

"HAINE!"

'Okay… this is way too real; it can't be a dream.'

Quickly, I rushed to the window, which seemed to be the source of his voice and peered out to see the very person waving up at me hurriedly as his parents tried to usher him into their undoubtedly expensive vehicle.

"Hurry down before I lose my voice too!"

I immediately dashed out the door, laughing to myself despite the urgency of my actions. I flew down the flights of stairs and zoomed out the door, ignoring the rebukes of the hospital staff I passed. By the time I reached the driveway of the hospital entrance, he had already been forced into the car that was slowly starting to drive away.

Hopelessly, I rushed toward the leaving vehicle, waving my arms as a signal for it to stop. 'I haven't even said goodbye yet!'

"Don't forget your promise!"

And with those words, he was gone.

I looked around the familiar trees surrounding me as I sat on the gazebo bench with a melancholy smile.

'Yet again, I've been stood up.'

For the hundredth time in five years of waiting, I traced his name, permanently engraved on my seat five years prior. 'Mou… I thought you said it was a promise? Why have you never come?' Another sigh escaped my silent lips.

With a renewed enthusiasm, I stood up and smiled at the figure of the imaginary Takanari that I conjured before me. 'Ne, did you know that I got into the same high school as Ushio? Teikoku Gakuen- it's really famous and full of amazing people so it's a miracle that I managed to get accepted. So… if this miracle managed to occur, I'll be able to miraculously meet you soon too… right?'

AN: Well, I tried to make it less cheesy... Excuse me if I practically breathe in fluff.
Anyway, please continue reading the newly updated chapters 2-6 before you read the latest chapter!