A/N: Another installment of 'The reason not to spend the night at Kyo's!' banzai! So lesse…it's only a few months after said story. Now the question is…is cute little Sora back to claim her boyfriend for reals? Ha, poor Kazu, he's gonna have to deal with more crazy 'friends' of his father. And Kazu and Sora are finally gonna meet Uncle Akira and Grandpa Bon. (Snickers) oh my, I feel sorry for them. On to the story!
Meeting the uncles
It was a normal, sunlit summer afternoon. The people of the town were enjoying the heat,
"ARGH! IT'S TOO FRIGGIN' HOT!"
Alright, I lied! It was freaking hot, and people were irritated as hell.
More so with the Shiina family.
Kyo was sitting out on the front porch (whatever the hell you call it), a cup of sake grasped in his hand, gazing out into the horridly hot
street.
Kazuki was a few feet away from him in the yard, practicing his sword strokes with his wooden sword, beads of sweat dripping off
his body with each downward move.
Yuya pokes her head out of the sitting room inside and observes her son and husband, "Kazuki, you really shouldn't practice in this heat, you'll get a stroke and die!" she says.
The boy glances up at her, "Mom, I'll be fine; it's not even that hot." Of course, he said this for the benefit of his manliness in front of his father. In truth, the neighbor next door had cracked an egg on the street earlier, and the yoke had immediately begun to cook.
"And then what will I do with my only child gone?" continues Yuya, completely ignoring the boys response.
"Kazuki, do as your mother says," speaks up Kyo sternly.
The boy immediately stops and rests the sword on his shoulder.
"Oh, before I forget, can you go next door and give this to Fuu-san?" asks Yuya, ducking inside for a moment, and then returning with a large bowl covered with a towel.
The redhead blinks, "What's this for?" he asks, curious.
"Well you heard Fuu-san's husband died right? That's not true at all. The bastard left her for a younger woman, leaving her to raise those rowdy kids of hers. Now, that's why you hold on to your husband with everything you've got to make sure he doesn't leave you," explains the blond cheerfully, casting a glance at Kyo, who in turn ignores it.
"I don't care about all that crap," pipes up Kazu, "Why are you sending this to her?" he asks.
Yuya beams, "I've heard food heals everything," she replies, forcing the bowl into her sons hand and sending him off with a shove in one fluid motion, "Off you go, and tell her to come by later, we'll talk," says Yuya.
Kazu grumbles under his breath as he marches along, "Why couldn't she have sent him, he wasn't doing anything."
Kyo doesn't even look up as he replies, "Because you're the whiny son. Of course she wouldn't send me. She knows better."
Kazu glares angrily at him, until Yuya pipes up, "Oh, and Kyo, can you fix the toilet, I think it's backed up," (did they even have those types of toilets, or did they go in the ground?)
Currently, Kazu is having a hard time keeping a straight face in the presence of his furious father. "Fix the damn toilet yourself dogface! It's women's work!" snaps Kyo in response, glaring at his sons retreating back.
Finally far enough away from the house, Kazu bursts into laughter, especially after hearing his mother shout rapid insults at his father. Walking along, the boy pauses when he sees a body-sized lump on the ground. A snoring body, covered with a thick blanket.
Raising a single crimson eyebrow, Kazu nudges the body-sized lump with a foot, and steps back a bit as said lump snorts twice and rolls over. Frowning in annoyance, the boy says loudly, "Oi, stinky old man, go find someplace else to rot in this heat!"
The lump immediately rises, and throws off the blanket with a roar, "BRAT I AM NOT AN OLD MAN! RESPECT THE
LEGENDARY BONTEMARU-SAMA!" The old man was as tall and wide as a tree, an eyepatch covering his right eye, bandages
wrapped around his waist and a wooden sword resting against his shoulder. Kazu stares blankly at the man, "Who are you?" he asks. The
man Sweatdrops, "I am Bontemaru, but you might have heard of me by my other name, Date Musamune," he replies. Kazu sighs boredly,
"Not really. Whatever just don't block the street with your useless lump, old fart," he says, and turns to leave. "Wait a second brat! Do you
know where Shiina Yuya lives?" asks Bontemaru.
The child turns back to face him, a suspicious sneer on his face, "And just what business
do you have with my mother? I just might have to kick your old ancient ass now rather than later," he replies.
"Holy shit! Yuya-chan is your mother!? Don't tell me Kyo is your father!" exclaims Bon.
Kazu nods, "Yeah, I'm sad to say he is. Now how do you know them?" he
asks. "Well kid, I was the one who got your parents together, and single handedly saved their very lives!" brags Bon. And suddenly, a sake jug goes flying through the air, smacking the man in the head and sending him toppling to the ground. "And just who was it that
single-handedly saved my life, old man?" asks Kyo dangerously, appearing behind Kazu. Bon rises up with a glare, "Kyo you bastard!
How dare you mark this handsome face! I'll kill you! And you know I saved your ass!" he snaps.
"Yeah right, the whole time you were
saving your own ass!" retorts Kyo, stepping forward until he and Bon were in each others faces (just like old times), scowling at each other.
"You wish! You just won't admit it in front of your dumb little brat!" says Bon.
"OI! I'm not dumb you fat old bastard!" shouts Kazu, fists
clenched at his sides.
"KAZUKI! WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" was the shout of Yuya as she comes barreling down the street, crashing into her son, sending him flying. She turns cheery again, and beams at Bon, "Bontemaru-san! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here?"
Bon stops fighting with Kyo long enough to answer, "Well I thought I'd come see how you were doing, and what do ya know, you
and Kyo finally got together, and had a kid. How old is he?"
Yuya smiles, "Well he's…" there's a pause.
Kyo snorts, "You don't even know how old your own child is? Some wife and mother you are," he comments.
Yuya shoots him a glare, "I was half passed out after he
was born, it was kinda hard to focus on things back then," she replies, "You don't know how old he is either!" she adds.
Kyo shrugs, "I don't pay attention to such unimportant things," he states.
"You guys really are lousy parents," mutters Kazu, who was back from giving the bowl of food to Fuu-san. He stood with his wooden sword against his shoulder, a frown on his face, along with a few bruises, all thanks to
his loving mother, "I'm ten. Remember that next time. Now who is this old man?" he asks.
"Bontemaru-san is a friend of your fathers, and he was a member of the Shiseiten," explains Yuya, "He also conquered the north," she adds.
Bon takes the opportunity to puff out his chest proudly, "Yep, that's right! I am pretty great, huh brat?" he asks.
Kazu snorts, in a fashion very similar to his fathers, "Not really. You just look like a dirty old man. And something tells me you're a pervert," he responds.
Bon gapes at him, while the parents look on amusedly. "I should have figured the shouting was coming from over here," says a familiar voice.
Hotaru stood with his hands at his sides, the ever blank look on his face, "Bon bragging about how great he is again?" he says.
"Who's the dirty old fart?" asks Sora curiously, peering at them from behind her father.
"I am NOT a dirty old fart you little ingrate!" snaps Bon angrily. Sora scowls, "I should come over there and make you eat those words old man!" she retorts.
Hotaru pats her on the head, "The only one who gets to kill him is me, or maybe Kyo," he says.
"I didn't know you were into that kind of thing, Hotaru," comments Bon, smirking at the blond man.
"This is my daughter dumbass," replies Hotaru, then turning to Kyo and the others, ignoring Bons' expression of utter horror and surprise, "Akira hasn't come by here, has he?" he asks.
Yuya shakes her head, "No, he hasn't. But why are you all here?" "We've come for a little reunion," explains Hotaru, a slow grin spreading across his face.
"That look doesn't suit you, it's disturbing," comments Kazu uneasily. Sora continues to poke Bon, who was still in a state of shock and horror.
"Oi old useless man, Kyo-oji-san told us you were almost eaten by cannibals is that true?" pipes up the girl.
That jolts the old man, er, Bon, out of his stupor, "I AM NOT A OLD USELESS MAN! And I DEFINETLY didn't almost get eaten by cannibals! That was Kyo!" he shouts.
"I think your memory must be getting bad in your old age, because I distinctly remember you shouting at the top of your lungs as you were about to be boiled in a big pot, alive might I add, and the cannibals were chanting around you," says Kyo.
Kazu and Sora stare wide eyed at Kyo, "Then what happened?" asks Kazu.
"No disturbing stories!" snaps Yuya, pulling the two children towards the house, "Now, I think Kyo managed to hide some sake from Tora and Yukimura-san, and I'm sure he'll be willing to share, right Kyo?" she asks dangerously.
Kyo grumbles under his breath and leads the men into the house,
"Ha, Kyo's whipped," comments Bon, and in turn gets his face smashed against the door frame,
"What was that Bon? I'm afraid I didn't head you?" he says.
"Almost like old times," comments Hotaru amusedly, watching as the men continue to argue.
"Bontemaru-san, just what were you doing out there on the street? It's dangerous, plus, people might think you're a bum or something," says Yuya, sitting at the table trying to sew the hem of one of her kimonos.
"He is a bum," mutters Kazu.
"Well I was just so tired after my long journey, and thirsty, so I passed out on the street," explains the man, topping his cup of sake off and casting a glare at the quite smug Kazu.
"Then you don't need any sake, you need water," says Hotaru, reaching out for Bons' sake jar, only to have a chopstick narrowly miss his fingers, "Touch the sake and you'll be missing a few fingers," growls Bon.
"So who is the last member of the Shiseiten?" asks Sora, munching on a meat bun happily.
"The last member is Akira. His ability deals with ice," replies Hotaru helpfully.
Sora scowls, "What an annoying power. Fire is much better, you can burn people and stuff!" she chirps, successfully disturbing the adults.
"Oh yeah, she's definitely your kid Hotaru. But how did you manage to actually land a woman in the sack?" muses Bon.
"The usual way but I'm not sharing my secrets with a barren old man," replies Hotaru.
"That doesn't even make sense!" shouts Bon. Hotaru shrugs and bites into a meat bun, "Sure it does," he says with a mouthful.
"Ugh, it's so hot! I almost wish that Akira guy was here, at least then we'd be cooler," complains Kazu, fanning himself with a sleeve of his mothers' kimono.
Hotaru frowns, "He's coming," he says suddenly, rising from his seat on the floor.
"Huh? Are you serious?" asks Yuya, setting down her repaired kimono and glancing out the window.
"He's usually right about these things," says Bon. And he was right, because at that moment, the far wall crashes open, chunks of ice and wall flying.
"Oh this is just great!" says Yuya sarcastically, wiping her hands on the back of her kimono, "Now the chaos begins."
A figure steps out from the debris, "Hello everyone, it's been quite some time, has it not?"
"Akira, well this just makes my day. Here to fight Kyo?" asks Hotaru, bringing his sword out from its place in the waist band of his pants.
"Oh, well he's gonna have to step in line, cuz I'm fighting him," says Bon solemnly. 'These guys are crazy,' thinks Kazu, finally standing from his position on the floor.
"Think again Bon, I called first dibs eleven years ago," replies Hotaru. Bon scoffs, "You can't remember if you left the water running in the tub, but you can remember calling dibs eleven years ago, huh?" he comments.
"Oh!" pipes up Sora, bringing her closed fist down on her open palm, "I think I remember where you put the money daddy!" Hotaru stares back at her attentively, "Ok, now tell me. Think really hard, where is it?"
"You've got to be kidding me! Hotaru has a child?!" exclaims Akira, jaw hanging open in awe. Hotaru sighs in disappointment when Sora forgets again.
"That's exactly what I said," says Bon, bringing his own sword out from the waist band of his pants, "Now, while he's distracted, shall we fight for who gets to fight Kyo?" he says.
"Yes, let's," replies Akira, sheathing his own two blades.
"BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF! YOU'LL DESTROY MY HOUSE!" shouts Yuya, a vein popped out on her forehead.
"Careful dogface, the shouting will give you wrinkles early," cautions Kyo. Yuya narrows her eyes at him, "Oh, I know who's not getting any tonight!" she snaps.
The men present gasp in shock, holding their hands to their chests in horror, "She said it!" exclaims Bon,
"That poor bastard," continuesHotaru, shaking his head.
"There's no hope for him now, this just goes to show, don't ever get married!" says Akira.
"What the hell are you old farts talking about?" asks Kazu curiously. "Well, Kyo isn't going to get any sex tonight," replies Bon, not realizing who he was talking to, until he was too late.
Meaning, Yuya came up and kicked him in the shin, "Don't fill my sons' head with that stuff now!" she snaps.
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask, where do babies come from?" pipes up Sora innocently.
The men stare at her in horror. "Why are you asking now, of all times?!" exclaims Akira. Sora shrugs, "Why not? Now, tell me."
Hotaru sighs and leans down to her eyelevel, "You know what Kyo and Yuya were doing that time we spent the night?" At his daughters' horrified nod, he continues, "That's how babies are made." Feeling satisfied with his answer, he returns to the matter at hand, fighting Bon and Akira.
"Wait! That didn't tell me anything!" shouts Sora, but she's ignored of course. Kazu rolls his eyes, "Fine, I'll tell you."
Two minutes later, Yuya was still shouting at the men, while Bon, Hotaru, and Akira were slowly circling around each other, ready to strike at a moments' notice.
"Ohhh! So that's how!" says Sora suddenly. The adults snap to attention, "What did he tell you?" asks Hotaru, glancing from child to child. "And who told you what you told her?" adds Yuya. Kazu shrugs, "Dad did," he replies.
Yuya glares at her husband, "YOU TOLD HIM!? HE'S JUST A KID! YOU HORRIBLE MAN!" she shouts, turning on Kyo with blazing green eyes. Of course, as if things couldn't have gotten any worse, they did.
"Well, it certainly is a mess in here," comments a male voice, as a tall figure steps into the house via the collapsed wall, "I was in the neighborhood, so I decided to drop in."
"Shinrei, what are you doing here?" asks Kyo dangerously, crimson eyes narrowed into slits.
"I came to fight you, but I can see these fools beat me here. No matter, I guess I'll just have to beat them in order to get to you," says Shinrei, summoning his…whatever the hell his weapons are.
"Who's the girly man?" asks Sora, blinking confusedly.
Shinrei glares at her, "Want to lose that sharp tongue of yours girl?" he asks, his own eyes narrowed.
"Lay one finger on her, and I'll kill you," says Hotaru, his aura radiating dangerously through the room. Shinrei raises an eyebrow, "Keikoku, what is this girl to you?" he asks.
"Shinrei, this is your niece, Sora, Sora, this is your uncle Shinrei, a real bastard once you get to know him," says Hotaru.
"WHAT?! You actually reproduced?!" exclaims Shinrei. He sees Kazu, and turning to Kyo, he adds, "AND YOU TOO?!" "Why does everyone keep saying that?" mutters Hotaru with a frown. "Wait, wait, does he have a power too?" asks Kazu, his own stupor broken. "Yeah, it's water," replies Hotaru, frowning even more.
"Ugh that SUCKS!" shouts Sora, "I'm surrounded by freaks and weirdoes!"
"Like the pot calling the kettle black," muses Kazu. "Aw, you mustn't say that about your girlfriend Kaz-chan! That's not nice!" says Sora, grinning at him. "And she has a relationship with this little monster!?" continues Shinrei hysterically, "What kind of horrible world is this?!"
A nearby rug is set alight, "Oi, watch what you say about Kaz-chan, ahou-uncle! Only I can insult him! And maybe grandpa Bon-Bon too," says Sora.
"Grandpa?! I'm NOT THAT OLD DAMMIT!" shouts Bon in outrage, shaking a clenched fist at the girl.
"But I don't have a grandpa…won't you be my grandpa?" says Sora innocently, turning big, glassy blue eyes to the old man, her secret weapon. "I-uh-well-only if Hotaru says so!" stutters Bon.
The blond man shrugs, "I don't really care. It's up to her," he replies, then mutters to himself, "And you really have gone soft old man."
"I HEARD THAT YOU BASTARD! And can anyone really resist that face?!" snaps Bon, gesturing wildly to the small blond girl.
Clearing her throat, Yuya takes charge, "Alright, it's about that time anyway. Would you guys like to stay for lunch?" she asks.
Akira nods, "Why not? After that, we can continue the fight," he says, righting the table on its legs and taking a seat. Bon grins, "Now I can tell you brats my legend, and get some respect!" he says, settling himself beside Akira.
Hotaru soundlessly seats himself, and pours himself a cup of sake, "Well? Aren't the rest of you going to sit down?" he asks, golden eyes peering at the others blankly. Shinrei snorts,
"I have neither the time, nor the patience to sit here. I shall take my leave," and with that turns on his heel and plans to leave.
As I said, plans. He feels a sharp tug at his shirt sleeve, and turns to the motion, only to have those giant glassy blue eyes stare up at him, "Aren't you gonna stay uncle Shinny?" asks Sora. Sputtering indignantly, the white haired man lets himself be dragged to his seat, and only comes to from his daze when a cup of sake is forced into his hands. Looking up, he sees his brother staring back at him,
"You've gotta enjoy yourself a bit," is all the blond says, before knocking back the sake in one gulp. "Don't get drunk, dad," warns Sora warily, a frown marring her features.
"Relax, with the rest of these guys here, I won't even get a little buzzed," he replies, nudging his daughter with an elbow, "Now, I think Kaz-chan is getting a little lonely. No one's talking to him," he adds. Blue eyes widen, and the girl immediately turns her attention to the scowling redhead.
Hotaru chuckles quietly as he watches them, Kazu frowning even more at Soras' insistent chatter. "What did I tell you? The boy already has a girlfriend at his age, just think how many girls are gonna be chasing him around by the time he's fifteen," muses Kyo.
"Don't you dare start!" snaps Kazu, "She is NOT my girlfriend!"
"Sure I am Kaz-chan! You just have to come to reality! Everyone has to grow up sometime, it's the first steps to manhood!" pipes up Sora.
"What kind of crap are you spouting?!" exclaims Kazu.
"I think it's kind of cute! And sooner or later, these two are gonna get married! Oh it brings a tear to my eye, my little boy is growing up!" exclaims Yuya, wiping a tear from her eye.
"I'm serious! Shut up about that!" snaps Kazu.
"Damn, you're already tied down, huh kid? Better hurry up and try to shake her off, or you'll never be free, eh, Shinrei?" comments Bon. "I've no
idea what you mean," replies the white haired man, "But I'll have to put some observation into this relationship of theirs. I don't want my
niece to be treated rudely by this fool," he adds. "WILL YOU OLD FARTS SHUT UP! SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" shouts
Kazu, eyes narrowed angrily. "This sake is quite good, I'm happy that you managed to save this from that Tora and Yukimura," says Bon,
ignoring the angry child. "Yeah, this is some good stuff alright," agrees Hotaru. "Wow, you must be really drunk, Hotaru," comments Akira,
"You've actually agreed with Bon."
"Hm. Well maybe I am. No matter, as long as my daughter is happy with her little boyfriend, I'm
happy, and free to drink as much as I want," replies Hotaru, taking a moderate sip of his sake. "SHE IS NOY MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"Dad,
you're not free to drink as much as you want. Put that sake down. Now. Or I'll pick up more stray cats, and let them poo on your clothes," threatens Hotaru.
"So that was your doing, huh? You could have at least asked me directly to not drink, like you tell Kaz-chan here directly that you're his girlfriend," says Hotaru, setting down the sake cup.
"FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME! SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"Oh Kaz-chan, settle down, it's bad for your blood pressure. Oi, miss-Kaz-chan's girlfriend, go get him some water,"
says Bon.
"YOU STUPID FAT OAF! SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" "When you're done eating, you're gonna fix my wall, got it?!" snaps Yuya.
"Hai, hai," mutter the men in response.
"Psh, whipped old bastards," mutters Kyo.
"So are you!" snap the other men in unison.
end………. Ha, wasn't as good as the first one, but it'll do for now. I know, everyone was ooc, really bad, but in the future, who knows what could happen? Especially the, having kids of their own, part. I'm sure there are going to be more installments of this little series I've got going on here, so stay tuned. Also, sorry again for the weird paragraphing, really messes it up! im sure it's not the program im usuing..(sigh) And please read and review. HotIceRed