Hey ppl Sumi-Sabaku here formerly known as AngelFire3691. I feel like making a suicide attempt cutting type story! It is just one of my favorite types of story and sadly there are not many of them. Soooo I feel like starting one! I will update my other stories soon…hopefully! Its just I have so much schoolwork and I'm just lazy. And also it is because I love reading fanfic so much I never have time to update –sweatdrop-. Well I'm not sure if this will be multi-chaptered story and if it is I'm not sure how long. But enjoy!

Warnings:

Yaoi! Yes yaoi! Got to love it

Suicide attempts or cutting

No character death don't worry I hate that so much!

Swearing

Possible lemon

Parings:

SasuNaru (definitely)

GaaraLee

NejiShika

KakaIru

ShinoKiba

Maybe more parings not sure.

Chapter info:

"thought"

"Talking"

Disclaimer: I do not own it…I wish I did so I can make it SasuNaru…which it will be!

On with the fic! Enjoy!

Please…Save Me from My darkness…

Chapter 1: Cutting Through the Pain

Friendship…a mutual commitment between two people…the love and devotion between two. Can I really say I have that? Am I even capable of having this? I'm tainted by the darkness within me…I don't even deserve to see this. "I wish I could…at least experience it…" Sasuke whispered into the air on his way home after watching his "friends" on the training grounds. "Their not my friends…only comrades…" Sasuke kept reminding himself. I really wish it was different…but I wouldn't want to taint them…especially Naruto…I can't let him be tainted by me anymore than he has by being on the same team as me…

Sasuke continued on his way to the Uchiha mansion. As he approached his front door he fumbled for his keys. Finally placing the key into the lock he pushed the door open and leaned heavily on the frame. All his earlier thoughts came rushing forward when he saw that darkness that would consume him. Like every night when he returned he quick ran to his room and shut the door.

Sasuke turned on the light while walking through his room. Sasuke walked into the bath room turning the light on as well. Looking in the mirror he gave himself a disgusted look. He hated how the darkness claimed his life, how it haunted him every second of the day, reminding him he can never be with the one he loved. That thought alone made Sasuke heart wretch. "Why…why can't I just live a normal life?!" Sasuke yelled whileramming his fist into the mirror, shattering it. Little pieces of glass stuck into his hand. It brought a sense of…relief. But it wasn't enough. Sasuke bent down and opened the cabinet beneath his sink not bothering to take out the glass from his hand.

"Hey old buddy…" Sasuke murmured as he took out a sharp, gleaming kunai from a silver box. Unlike his regular kunai this one looked…new, unlike his other kunai that he used during battle or training. Sasuke sat on the floor, his back against the cabinet where the stink was. Taking off the arm guards and long sleeve shirt, which he now wore to hide his scars, he brought the kunai close to wrist but not close enough that he was near the heart of the vein. He brought the tip across his arm forming a bright red line. It didn't bleed but it stung "awww...yes…" Sasuke sighed allowing the sting to take away some of the pain he felt in his heart. Deciding to go a bit further Sasuke dug the kunai a bit deeper drawing blood. He watched fascinated how his blood was such a rich red color as it dripped on the floor.

Sasuke stared at his blood with a blank stare. He wasn't among the conscious per se at the moment. The movement of the blade reassured us his wakefulness. "More…more…damn it!...leave me alone!...why do you always haunt me Itachi!...". Tears feel unbeknownst from Sasuke's eyes. Moving the blood-stained kunai to his other arm he continued mumble his rant. Itachi killing there parents as well as the whole clan and leaving Sasuke to suffer left him with a guilt that tore at his heart. It was part of the same darkness that seemed to suffocate him and squeezed his heart until it seemed it would stop beating.

Naruto… I will only taint you with my presence…I don't know what the villagers see that I don't…I see a gorgeous blond with stunning blue eyes, and a person that always tries to envelope everyone in his cheerfulness…I don't see this so called murderer they all claim you is…but me on the other hand…they see this...perfect shinobi with no problems…and my looks…they don't really care about me…or try to get to know the real me…but you Naruto…you were always there for me…I know you care for me…but I always push you away…I'm…I'm so sorry…I just don't want you to be taken by the darkness…I don't want to lose you to…that's why we always fight…looks believable I bet…I know everyone really thinks I hate you…but it hurts me… receiving the insults as well as throwing them back in your face…but I love you so fucking much…it hurts… but this darkness hurts even more…knowing if I got close it would take you away to…like it did everything else in my life…and if Itachi comes back I know its believable enough that we "hate" each other that he wont use you to get to me…but I know he will go after you for the kyuubi…but it brings me some comfort I'm not the cause of that pain…but I still hurt when you are…why the hell does my life need to be so god damn difficult!

As that last thought ran through Sasukes mind Sasuke sliced a little bit too hard on his arm. It wasn't life threatening but it still hurt like hell! It still was…comforting. Touching his face as he felt the tears running down his cheeks he decided he should stop. Didn't want to be too weak in the morning for anyone to notice. Taking one last look at the beautiful object that was his only source of comfort he cleaned it up and placed it carefully back into the silver box looking brand new. He looked at his arms not really caring if he left them like that and they got infected. But he knew it would bring up some serious questions if anyone saw or he lost enough blood to cause a problem. So finally deciding to clean his wounds he opened the cabinet above his sink and took out the first aid that lay hidden. After washing off the blood in the sink he wrapped both his pale arms in bandages, not caring to put disinfectant because like he said he didn't care if they got infected. Putting the first aid back in its place and cleaning up the blood that still lied on the floor Sasuke left the bathroom after turning off the light. He decided to take a shower in the morning. He had to admit the small portion of blood he lost was taking his toll on him as well as the exhaustion from the days training.

Sasuke took off his shirt and threw it to some unknown part of his room, not caring where it landed. Walking over to his drawers he removed a fresh pair of pajama pants and slipped them on after having taken off his shorts. He didn't want to put a shirt on because he wanted to see the bandages on his arms to remind him of the pain he felt…even though the throbbing pain in his arms did exist. Slipping into bed Sasuke laid on his back staring at the ceiling. After a few minutes of staring the exhaustion was taking over. Sasuke allowed himself to fall asleep after his final thought. Naruto…

The next morning Sasuke woke up feeling weak as usual. His nightly events always making him feel this way. He headed for the bathroom to take his shower.

Finally making it into the bathroom Sasuke once again turned on the light. Looking into the broken mirror Sasuke saw he looked paler than usual. Looking at his arms he noticed they didn't stop bleeding like they usually do. But it wasn't that bad…at least at the moment. Sasuke removed the soiled bandages and hopped into the shower. Wincing as the water hit the fresh cuts Sasuke softly rubbed a cloth over them to get rid of the caked blood. Sighing Sasuke let the water run on the cuts for a bit longer before he cleaned the rest of his body. Wrapping a towel around his waist Sasuke started the task of re-bandaging his cuts. After the white material was in place Sasuke put away the bandages, picked up his clothes of the floor, and headed back for his room. He picked up the shirt he threw last night and put it with the rest of the clothes in the hamper.

Sasuke took out a fresh pair of clothes. But instead of his normal blues shirt and white shorts he decided to put on a long black sleeve shirt and black jeans. After fixing his hair Sasuke grabbed his arm guards and put them on making sure they were secure. Didn't want any accidents happening that can cause a problem. Sasuke then grabbed his holster and strapped it to his leg. After grabbing his keys and money he was off.

Walking slowly down the streets Sasuke saw many of his comrades. He saw Shino sitting against a tree with Kiba's head lying in his lap as he slept. Hinata was close by playing with Akamaru. I wish that could be me and Naruto… Sasuke thought sadly. As he continued down the street he saw many of his other comrades. He saw Neji lying in the grass next to Shikamaru with their hands together. How did they get together?… He saw Tenten, Ino, and Chouji hanging out and talking since their teams were all going to work together that day. He also saw Lee and Gaara off to the side with Lee talking up a storm as Gaara just sat and listened. Now how the HELL did they get together…o yea the fight with each other and Kimimaru…but what is Gaara doing here?...Deciding he was just visiting Lee he continued on his way leaving the thoughts behind. Passing by the school Sasuke saw Iruka with Konohamaru, the boys friends, had the rest of his class. He couldn't help but notice Iruka had a light blush on his cheeks as he instructed the class. Hmm Kakashi must have been here…pervert… He knew of the relationship Iruka and Kakashi had, even Sakura did, but Naruto…he was still ignorant of the fact. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Temari and Kankuro sitting a ways from Iruka. Why are they here…o well…they must be helping him or something…

Sasuke continued on his way until he finally made it to the designated spot, the training grounds. Unbelievable Kakashi should be here…I thought after having molested Iruka he heads here…guess not…probably reading his porn book for a while before he reads it while training us…damn him…Sasuke took his normal stance by a tree, his hands in his pockets and no emotion on his face, not even his annoyance that Kakashi wasn't here. It was 6 in the morning, dark and cold. Damn him! Sakura came a few seconds after he did and he dreaded the coming conversation when she squealed.

"Hi Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

"How are you?!" she said as she latched onto his arm causing him to wince. Unfortunately Naruto came and saw the wince.

"Hey Sasuke-teme what's up with you, you alright?" Naruto asked with concern burning in his eyes. "I'm fine!" Sasuke all but growled out. Sasuke winced again but not from Sakura latched on to his arm like a leech but the way Naruto greeted him and his response. Sasuke saw some of the concern that was burning in Naruto's eyes a few seconds before lessen and he sighed getting depressed. Sasuke pried Sakura off his arm and stepped away from her. Naruto took this opportunity to stand in between Sasuke and Sakura for some unknown reason to both of them. Hmm Naruto hasn't asked sakura on a date lately…maybe he gave up on her…I hope so…Before Sakura could yell at Naruto, Kakashi came out of no where in a poof of smoke and raised his hand in a normal Kakashi greeting while reading his Icha Icha paradise novel.

"Yo"

"You're late!" both Sakura and Naruto yelled at their sensei. Sasuke didn't even know why they bothered asking…he was late every morning…

"I'm sorry but I had to save a young girl from the killer wooden giraffes of doom!" Kakashi yelled flexing his fingers in front of his face for affect. Sasuke just raised an eyebrow while Sakura's and Naruto's mouth hung open and eyebrows twitched. Wow…that was the weirdest excuse he came up with yet…After Sakura and Naruto snapped out of it they both pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi and yelled "You liar!"

"Anyway…for today's training I want you all to practice with your physical strength. No chakra." With that said Kakashi hopped into a tree and continued to read. Sasuke and the others just sighed and did what Kakashi said. They each lined up side by side facing a post. They all started with a series of punches and kicks. Sasuke seem to be beating the shit out of his post. He seemed to be so focused on what he was doing he did not even stop to rest after an hour straight.

Sasuke seemed to be in a trance. It seemed like he was battling with the darkness within him. On the outside it definitely looked like Sasuke was winning but inside he was still losing himself. Sakura and Naruto just watched Sasuke continue to fight the post from their position on the ground. They were taking a break and amazed Sasuke still had the energy to continue non-stop. Sakura gasped and Naruto shot up when they saw blood dripping onto the ground.

"Sasuke!" Naruto screamed. No answer. "Sasuke!" Naruto screamed again. Still no reply. "Sasuke wake up damn it!" Naruto screamed as he grabbed Sasuke's arm. This effectively brought Sasuke back out of his trance. Sasuke stared at Naruto, then the blood on the ground, and then the blood seeping through his shirt. He wrenched his arm out of Naruto's hand and held it close to his body. Kakashi came down from the tree and stood next to the team the first time he heard Naruto yell Sasuke's name and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Sakura just sat with a shocked expression on her face. "Sasuke are you ok?" Kakashi asked with concern also present in his eyes. "Y-yea I'm f-fine" "No you're not your fucking bleeding!" Naruto yelled and reached out to grab Sasuke's arm again but Sasuke stepped back effectively out of Naruto's range. He continued to back up and suddenly fled from the scene.

"Kakashi-sensei…what do you think is wrong with Sasuke?" Sakura asked quietly two minutes after Sasuke fled.

"I think he was just pushing himself a little bit too hard lately" Kakashi said to reassure the girl but knew something was seriously wrong and had an idea of what the problem might be. "Don't worry about" Kakashi knew that saying that was no use.

Without a word Naruto ran off after Sasuke. Go help him Naruto…you're the only one that can…Kakashi thought as he watched the boy run off.

Sasuke ran and continued to run without looking back. Shit! How could I have been so stupid and careless! Damn now they are going to find out! I know Kakashi probably figured it out. Sakura's a smart girl she will figure it out. Naruto…the least I want to find out! But would it be such a bad thing…yes it would!...I can't let him get close…I cant lose him… Sasuke said these words with tears running down his face.

Sasuke…what's wrong with you?...Naruto thought as he ran after the raven. Sasuke's clearly out of sight but since he was heading in this direction I know he's heading home. I think I should give him a bit of time to himself but…oh my god! Just be alright Sasuke! I don't want to lose another precious person.

Sasuke slammed through his front door and ran up to the bathroom without even bothering to lock the front door. Sasuke quickly slammed open the bathroom door and turn on the light. Looking into the broken mirror Sasuke saw his tear stained cheeks and rubbed at his eyes furiously. Damn it! Why! Sasuke punched the mirror with one hand officially cutting it again. He didn't feel it at the moment. Why was I so damn careless! Sasuke punched the mirror again but with the other hand giving it the same treatment. Sasuke punched it a couple more times before he stopped and sunk to his knees breathing hard. After he got his emotions and breathing in control he stood up.

He took off his soiled shirt and threw it in the sink. Sasuke took off the soiled bandages as well as the rest of his clothes and hopped into the shower for he second time that day. After he freshened up he put a fresh towel around his slim waist and cleaned up the broken glass around the sink and floor. After depositing the fragments into the garbage as well as his bandages Sasuke picked up his dirtied shirt and took it to the laundry room. After placing it into the washing machine Sasuke headed back into the bathroom. He made sure there was no more fragments anywhere or if there was any more blood. Everything was normal…except for the broken mirror. Sasuke made a mental note to get a new one. Sasuke headed for his room with the first aid. Sighing Sasuke noticed his bead sheets were soiled with blood to. How didn't I notice that this morning?... Sasuke placed the box on the bedside table and removed the sheets from his bed. Sasuke head back to the laundry room and stuck the sheets into the other washer available. Hey he lived in a mansion; of course he will have more than one appliance for everything.

Sasuke returned to the bedroom with fresh sheets in his arms. After putting the new sheets on his bed Sasuke headed for his drawer and took out a new pair of pajama pants and underwear like he did the previous night. Sitting on his bed Sasuke stared at his arms. Sasuke traced some of his old scars as well as the new cuts. Sighing a bit Sasuke actually put disinfectant on the cuts and re-bandaged his arms for the third time in two days. Sasuke just lay down on his bed staring at the ceiling. He was tired but his troubled mind wouldn't let him sleep. So he just laid there.

Outside Sasukes bedroom window Naruto watched the raven the whole time he entered and left his bedroom. He blushed the whole time he saw Sasuke in the short little towel and was disappointed when Sasuke put on his pajama pants. But he did get a quick glance at that cute ass of his. That made Naruto's blush deepen even more. But when he saw Sasuke trace all his old scars as well as the new cuts a wave of confusion hit him. Why does Sasuke have all these scars?...I don't think it can be from training…Naruto decided he should check up on his raven and inched closer to the window from the branch he stood on. Slipping his fingers under the slightly parted window he opened it wide enough for him to slip through.

Hearing a noise to his side Sasuke saw Naruto hop into his room. Gasping Sasuke sat up quickly looking at Naruto with wide eyes. Sasuke quickly hid both his arms behind his back and faced Naruto fully. Naruto blushed when he saw Sasuke bare chest. Naruto thinking it wise to look away before he said something stupid looked into Sasukes face instead of his chest. Why is he blushing… Sasuke thought. But the thought banished from his mind quickly as he saw Naruto approach the bed. "Naruto…" Sasuke whispered. "Sasuke… what are those scars from?" Sasuke paled at the dreaded question. Oh my god! He's going to find out! "Naruto…"

Yes! A cliffy! Muhahahaha I'm evil! I know! Well I hope you all enjoyed the first chappie! I'm still not sure how long this will be! I am hoping to update by Wednesday night or sometime Thursday! Since its not going to be a very long story…or maybe it will…but anyway since I love these types of fics I am hoping to update soon!

PLEASE REVIEW!!! It helps me update!

Thank you all! i love you! Until next time! Byez!