Perspective

Summary: [Post-"Strange Geometry"] While Fi unravels, Jack tries to make sense of the past.

Something's wrong.

Standing with Carey near the music video set, Jack stared down the hallway that led to his family. His mother should have been back sooner than this. He understood why his sister would need a while to recover, since even he couldn't get the explosion out of his head. Scared to death for his sister, seeing his mother and hysterical Fiona running for their lives from the crumbling structure...God, he wasn't sure if he could hold it together the rest of the day.

His mother had been shaken too, but as a rule she never kept the crew waiting. I should go back there, Jack thought. His gaze stayed on the room down the hall, where his family went to recuperate after the explosion. I need to check if they're okay. "Hey, Carey, I'm – never mind."

About to tell Carey where he was going, Jack saw Molly storm out of the room and run towards the set. There were tears in her eyes but she refused to break down in public. Almost walking by her son, she stopped and turned to him with the most guilt-ridden expression he'd ever seen on anyone. "Jack..." She stepped towards him, hugging him as she said, "I'm so sorry, and I love you."

His nagging fear didn't seem so irrational and paranoid anymore. "You're scaring me, Mom. What's going on with Fiona, is she hurt?"

Suddenly staring at the floor, Molly whispered, "Um, not from the explosion, no."

The odd answer kicked up Jack's heart rate again. "Do you think she'd want to talk to me?" he asked, even though the the answer wouldn't matter.

Tears resurfacing, Molly wiped them away as she answered, "I don't know, baby." Without waiting for a reply, she turned to the dozen or so crew members standing around the set. Her voice was emotional but authoritative when she began, "I apologize for the inconvenience, but we're going to take a break for an hour and meet back here..."

Jack was speechless, and he didn't understand anything she'd said to him.

"Cub, I'll tell you what I told Fiona."

Turning around, Jack saw the honorary uncle he and his sister had nicknamed "Papa Bear." "John, what's this about?"

The former PKB member ignored his question. "When you see your sister, she'll be very angry, and very upset. Then when she explains why, you'll likely have the same reaction. That's the reason I'm also telling you...don't be so tough on your mother, Jack. The last tour with your parents was a confusing, scary time, and now she's reliving it. Think about this before you judge her." About to walk towards the building entrance, he paused. "Oh, and cub? Keep in mind that your sister is livid enough for the both of you."

Jack made it to the room down the hall before John left the building. I don't get any of this, he thought, bracing himself as he opened the door. Why are we talking about my parents' history all of a sudden? What does that have do with a dangerous structure in an old building?

"Fi?"

His sister was sobbing into an authentic PKB tour jacket. Papa Bear, Jack thought, sentimental at the sight of the family relic. She wore it around her like a blanket. "Fiona?" he called again, his voice at a near-whisper.

"Not now, J-Jack," she said through her tears. "I need to be alone. We can talk later."

Shaking his head, Jack sat next to her on the couch. "Fi, we put up a good front sometimes, but I can't let you sit here and cry without at least asking if you'll be okay." He paused, trying to gauge if she truly wanted him to leave. "What happened, sis? If you found another so-called 'ghost', I promise I won't make fun of you...today."

Instead of the usual annoyance Jack expected when he teased her, Fiona slowly turned to look at him. "They didn't say anything?"

"Just a bunch of vague stuff that went over my head because I have no idea what's going on." When she buried her head in her "blanket" again, Jack tugged on the jacket sleeve closest to him. He'd never seen her so reluctant to recount one of her spooky adventures. Becoming more somber, he said, "Come on, what's this about?"

She didn't answer him at first. Pushing the jacket down from her face, she took a second to compose herself and wipe away tears. "Well, uh, something did happen before you and Mom got there, but I'm more upset now because of...what Mom told me about Daddy. She would've kept it a secret forever too if John didn't make her tell me. She lies to us, Jack. She knows things about Daddy and what he did but she keeps it all to herself."

Jack was sad to realize that this didn't completely surprise him. He and Fiona often listened to stories about their father, but he could imagine their mother hiding certain information "for their own good." Though, Jack didn't need to know the details about his parents' tour days either. Some things really were better off left in the past. "Fiona, whatever it is, I'm sure – "

"Daddy investigated the paranormal, Jack. He did exactly what I do now. Before you ask, no, I don't have memories of finding this out before. It's this huge thing we have in common and Mom never thought to tell me."

Wondering if he'd misheard, Jack interrupted, "Wait, wait...our dad, Rick Phillips...investigated the paranormal? He believed in that stuff?"

His incredulity made the old Fi resurface, her temper flaring. "Yes, Jack, one of our parents was just as crazy as I am." Her tone became even more sarcastic as she continued, "Apparently you got all the sanity genes from Mom."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he retorted, though deep down, he wondered if that really was what he meant.

Ever since his sister began 'encountering the paranormal,' he'd been very careful to avoid labeling her as crazy. He mocked her and refused to believe in the supernatural, but he never thought she was hallucinating or anything. She was just...a kid, who spent an awful lot of time on her own while she toured the country with a bunch of boys. He'd always chalked it up to a quirky adolescence. Since she was no longer the baby who required someone to stay with her, she invented these scenarios as a cry for attention. Jack occasionally wondered if fiction writing would be a better outlet for Fi's creativity.

So then, what about Dad? Was he "creative" too?

It's a possibility. He was a musician, so maybe ghost stories and folk lore inspired him.

Contemplating this, Jack leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. Fi stared at him as she waited for more of his reaction. "So, Dad...was open-minded, like you are now. You really had no idea?" When she shook her head, he frowned. "I don't get it. Why would Mom keep that from you?"

Her words softer but still angry, Fiona shrugged. "She hates that I investigate now so she probably felt the same way back then. Knowing her, she probably didn't want to tell me because she never wanted to talk about it ever again." Fi paused, fighting back more tears. "That wasn't her decision to make, Jack. If Daddy were alive he would've told me, I'm sure of it. He would've understood how important it was for me to find out that I wasn't alone in this. I've felt like such a freak these last few years a-and...and all that time, our own mother let me believe it!"

Sobbing then, she startled her brother by leaning her forehead in his shoulder and hugging him. He patted her back like he would an infant and processed her confession. Usually he always took their mother's side in these fights, but at that moment, he couldn't when his sister was crying in his arms. This insight into Fiona's psyche made him realize how much she suffered for her "hobby." His protective instincts were kicking in too, causing his anger to automatically build towards the person who'd caused his baby sister's distress. What was their mother thinking? Why would she purposely hide information that could have helped Fiona cope?

He considered Fiona's explanation. Lingering anger sounded logical to him, since Fiona and Molly fought about this topic on a regular basis. What bugged Jack was that he couldn't figure out why paranormal investigation, a harmless interest shared by father and daughter, would earn such a vehement reaction. Maybe his mom had a bad experience when she first learned about her husband's "unique" interest. Maybe she even tried to support Rick but their adventures turned sour somehow.

There was way more to this story. As much as he never liked to get involved, Jack realized he would have to hear his mother's side of it if he planned to sleep that night.

Dodging John's concerned glance as he ran past the video set, Jack exited the building and looked around the suburban neighborhood for his mother. Irene and Ned had taken the bus so she couldn't hide out there. Seeing a park across the street, Jack walked towards it and began checking park benches. Molly sat on a bench that faced a small fountain. Her cell phone was in her hand, closed, like she couldn't decide if she should use it.

Standing next to the bench, Jack nodded at the phone when Molly slowly looked up at her son. "Calling a cab?" he asked, only half-joking. Given how messed up everything was, he wouldn't be shocked if she did head back to the hotel.

"Oh, no," Molly insisted, embarrassed at the accusation that she was running away. "I, uh, thought about calling Irene, just to ask how much money we'd lose if we ended the day now." She let out a short laugh. "I don't feel like getting yelled at any more today."

Jack got the impression she'd also been speaking to him, but while his temper demanded answers, he didn't feel like yelling. All he wanted was for his mother to be honest. It seemed like such a simple request, even a basic right considering he was her son. He felt sick to his stomach thinking she'd been lying to them for years. "Seriously, how could you not tell her?"

Shaking her head in denial, Molly began, "Jack, I can't right now – "

"Try," he snapped harshly. Her eyes narrowed, warning him against using such a disrespectful tone. He ignored it. "Fiona's devastated, and honestly, I'm confused too. I might be able to understand this more if there was some kind of explanation." Remembering what Fi said, he cautiously asked, "Are you still angry with Dad for what he did?"

Frowning, Molly put a hand to her forehead as if warding off a headache. Jack didn't doubt she had one after the day they'd had. "This is so complicated," she murmured. "I'm not even sure why I've kept the secret for so long. All I know is that when Fiona created the website and I realized she was just like him...oh God, I couldn't tell you why, but I was terrified. I started worrying that if Fiona lives the same life he did, we'll lose her too."

While stunned by this, Jack couldn't put two and two together. "Mom, Dad died in a car accident, not because of a paranormal investigation."

She didn't say anything. Her gaze became transfixed on the bubbling fountain in front of them.

Dread inexplicably filling him, Jack refused to question his statement. Instead he questioned why his mother would be afraid of history repeating itself. "He did, Mom. It was a tragic, horrible accident. Nothing's going to happen to Fiona just because she thinks she sees ghosts or..." He trailed off, recalling an earlier thought. His amazement caused her to look back at him. "Oh my God, you believed too, didn't you?" he whispered, more to himself than his mother. "You still do, at least a little."

Shocked, Molly sputtered, "What? Jack, this is me you're talking about – "

Though he wanted to agree with her, Jack couldn't dismiss this new insight. "You just said how scared you are," he challenged. "It's more than the fear of a second lightning strike. I know, because I have that fear too and this isn't it." Sympathy overwhelmed her expression for a second, but it was gone when he continued his rant. "Mom, maybe you've convinced yourself that you were gullible then or temporarily lost your mind, but in your heart, you still believe in monsters. You wouldn't be scared now if you didn't think there was good reason to be scared."

The logical argument caused another tense silence. His mother's eyes became watery, and Jack wondered if she would burst into tears like her daughter had an hour earlier. "I don't believe in monsters, Jack. I believe that paranormal investigations led to your father's decision to get in the car that night. Maybe Fiona just has an active imagination, but...well, look at what happened today." Molly hesitated, staring at the phone in her hands. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"No," Jack answered without hesitation. Even though there were still issues to address, he could breathe easier thanks to her real-world explanation. For a second there he panicked that he might be the only "skeptic" in his family. "She feels betrayed, Mom. Whatever this paranormal stuff really is, I think it's always been about our dad. Fiona's searching for a way to make him relevant in her present-day life. I get this because, well, I do it too sometimes. We both want to know more about him and see ourselves in what we find." He paused, absorbing this realization. Meanwhile his mother's expression turned even more heartbroken as she put her head in her hands. "You should've told her," he said, the anger returning. "She needed this so much."

Molly sighed. "I see that now. Early on I panicked that this would be validation for her, so I'd hoped that she would stop before I had to tell her. But she wasn't going to stop and I didn't allow myself to recognize it." A far-away look on her face, she added, "The most I can hope for is that John was right, that she'll see this as a warning."

"That's why he wanted you to tell her," Jack said, and his mother nodded. While glad that she was experiencing an epiphany, he couldn't completely forgive her yet. The implications of what she'd done were clicking in his mind. "What else are you hiding from us?"

Her remorseful silence answered his question. "I'm sorry, baby," she finally whispered, her eyes lowered while he glared at her. "Please, please try to understand my side of this. The past can be very painful, especially when there was so much...confusion, and fear." She paused, let out a deep breath, then found the strength to continue. "I don't talk about certain aspects of your father's life because I don't fully understand some myself. If I have to deal with my own memories of Rick's paranormal investigation, I just...I shut down, block it out. None of it makes sense now and that scares the hell out of me."

Though Jack was still angry, he reluctantly admitted to himself that her confession sounded familiar. How many of Fiona's "adventures" did he ignore over the years because he couldn't make sense of them? He'd witnessed dozens of unexplained phenomena, but he purposely left them unexplained. If he had kids in the future and they asked him about "Aunt Fi's" investigations, he wouldn't want to start the conversation either.

There was a difference though. Fate willing, his kids would be able to talk directly to their aunt. His mother never answered the question either. How could he ever trust her when she kept secrets like this one? How could he trust that she would tell him information he deserved to know?

"I'm sorry you went through that, Mom," he said, standing from the bench. "But – "

Also standing, his mother insisted, "Talk to John. If you want the real picture of that time in our lives, he'll be able to tell you."

Jack realized that this was her olive branch. She couldn't discuss the topic herself, but she wouldn't prevent her children from finding out on their own. This made him wonder if she really was being honest, that maybe she wished she could tell them more, but couldn't because the emotion attached still paralyzed her even after so many years. "Maybe I will," he said quietly.

A week later, Jack was sitting with Gabe on her front porch's rocking chairs, recapping the past month or so to his sympathetic girlfriend. He went from the harrowing trip to visit his grandparents to shooting the music video in an abandoned building, leading to the discovery about his father's past. She was attentive and inquisitive through the entire story. Considering she'd merely asked how he'd been, he gave her a ton of credit for noticing right away that this wouldn't be a casual chat. She instantly became a patient listener, sipping her glass of lemonade while he reminisced.

Her hair was short but it was hers. They'd exchanged many emails and phone calls celebrating the milestones in her recovery, including the return of her thin, blonde locks.

Jack took a break to refill his own glass from the lemonade pitcher on the small table between them. "I wasn't sure I would really talk to John," he concluded, pained as he reflected on that particular day. "Then right before we left town, I panicked that I'd never get the chance to ask again, so...we talked. Fiona was still furious so John and I went to this diner around the corner from the bus' parking space. At that point I didn't even know what I wanted to hear, but I had to ask him something." Regret in his voice, Jack confessed, "I asked John if he believed in the paranormal."

Her face purposely neutral, Gabe placed her hand over the one Jack rested on the table. They held hands for a second before she asked, "What did John say?"

"That he doesn't deny the things he saw, but 'bloody hell' if he knows what they meant," Jack answered. His awful imitation of a British accent made Gabe chuckle. "John explained that he and my mom used to witness 'strange events' whenever my dad investigated, but they usually didn't get involved. They didn't prevent him from investigating either. They even believed him more often than not, but...but then it wasn't fun anymore. It became dark and dangerous and they were frightened for him." Jack let out a deep breath while Gabe patted his hand, tears in her eyes. "That was a month before the car accident."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

Nodding in acknowledgment, he continued, "I guess, now, I'm a little lost because none of the pieces fit together. I can't figure out what I should be feeling. Should I even feel anything? I'm still mad at my mom for lying, but I can't say I'm traumatized by this." He sighed. "Maybe John was right, that Fi's outraged enough for the both of us and I should let this one go."

Gabe still looked concerned about his emotional well-being, but she smiled at the show of optimism. "As long as you're comfortable with that, I think it's a good idea."

"Me too," Jack said, returning her smile. "Thanks, Gabe. Sitting here with you makes me realize how desperately I needed this vacation. I really wish we could hang out like this all the time."

Keeping her hand in his, Gabe replied, "If there's one thing I learned, it's that you have to appreciate every moment. You being here now is more than I ever dared to hope for." Glancing back to the house, she ordered playfully, "Now go call your mom."

The abrupt change in tone made him blink. "Huh?"

"You've been dodging your calls ever since you got here," Gabe accused. He frowned apologetically, knowing she spoke the truth. "Based on the email Fi sent me, I can only imagine the amount of tension on that bus. It might help if you told your mom you're not mad at her anymore."

Jack grumbled, "I wouldn't go that far."

Sighing, Gabe asked, "Then can you tell her that you forgive her?"

Hesitant to reply with a definitive answer, Jack debated if he really believed what he just claimed. Could he bury all the hurt and doubt this lie had caused? What about Fiona? If he forgave their mother so soon, his sister might think he was picking her side like he usually did.

Then again, he could argue that this wasn't his fight. Jack would always race to his sister's rescue if she was lost in the woods, or trapped in an old building.

This was neither.

"Yeah." On his way into the house, he paused to hug Gabe around her shoulders, grateful that she was in his life. "I think I can."