A/N: Written for The DA Ranger Group's writing contest.
Kyoya Ootori… frankly didn't know what to make of all this. Well okay, that wasn't entirely true. It was very obvious to him that what was currently happening was entirely the fault of the three young men standing before him. He examined each of them individually, searching for hints of an explanation. When that failed, he let out a sigh.
"So, can one of you-" he paused to duck a large book flying at his head. "-tell me how exactly you managed this?"
Predictably, the identical pair on the left shot accusing looks at the blonde on the right. It took Tamaki a moment to realize this, then he began to sputter unintelligibly, his face turning bright red.
"Stop that," Kyoya ordered, silencing his best friend with a glare. "Remain calm and explain what happened."
Tamaki shot a glare at Hikaru and Kaoru, neither of whom appeared in any way fazed by it. He looked nervous, at least Kyoya was pretty sure he did. With the curtains constantly drawing themselves in and out, it was kind of hard to see anything at the moment.
"W- well," Tamaki struggled to begin. "I was just minding my own business, playing the piano for our darling daughter, when these two demons run in with an enormous old trunk they claim holds ancient ancestral relics, but they conveniently failed to mention what else was inside-"
"You think we knew?" Hikaru shouted as he grabbed an end table and used it to beat back some flying fake fruit.
"Silence!" Tamaki shouted. "As I was saying, they asked me for help getting it open because they wanted to see what kind of secrets their ancestors kept. I wasn't really sure myself, I had a bad feeling from the start actually-"
"You were just as eager to open it as we were, you liar," Kaoru cried just as a piece of plaster zoomed by, coming mere inches away from his face. The younger twin jumped to the side, his neck craning upwards. "Ah crap, they're pulling tiles off the ceiling now, guys!"
"ANYWAY," Tamaki yelled over both the twins and the sudden banging of random notes on his piano. "We managed to get the trunk open and found all these old papers and photographs and diaries… and well, other things."
Tamaki coughed, sheepishly rubbing his neck.
"So that'show you three managed to let evil spirits into the club room," Kyoya supplied the ending.
Tamaki chucked nervously, and it was all the confirmation Kyoya needed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a terrible headache coming on.
"Tamaki, I can't believe this. Really, I thought you would know better," Kyoya berated his best friend, who rubbed his shoulder and whimpered like a kicked puppy.
"I am so sorry, Kyoya," he sniffled. "I never meant for this to happen."
"Well, it's too late for that," Kyoya answered harshly. He simply wasn't willing to let Tamaki off this time. Tamaki had to understand the consequences of his actions, how dire they were.
"Do you have any idea how much it will cost to clean all this up?" Kyoya motioned at the couches sliding across the room (one of which Mori-senpai was unfortunately riding) and the tea cups colliding in mid air with each other and the war Hikaru and Kaoru were still having with the fruit and the end tables being flung through windows. "Not to mention what they're doing to Haruhi."
Both young men looked up to find Haruhi on the ceiling, held by invisible bonds and not looking particularly happy about it.
"Will someone pleaseget me down?"
"Absolutely, Haruhi," Tamaki cried back. "Don't worry, Mommy and Daddy are working on it!"
He snapped his head back down and grabbed the lapel of Kyoya's jacket, shaking him rigorously.
"What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?"
"Not this," Kyoya jerked away, brushing himself off before going on. "And I don't really know how you expect us to do anything against these things. After all, they've captured Haruhi and possessed Renge."
As if on cue, the powerful motor activated and Renge- or rather the thing inside Renge- burst from the floor. Her wild eyes seemed to go in five different directions at once as she let out an inhuman howl and hopped off the motor. She ran with her tongue hanging out like a dog's, dodging papers and jumping over flying books and pencils until she reached Tamaki and Kyoya. Getting up in the former's face, she grinned a toothy grin and pulled two normal looking eggs from out of nowhere. She then smacked them together over Tamaki's head, letting the yolk drip down his hair and onto his face. He shrieked and frantically tried wipe it off, much to 'Renge's' amusement.
"Very eggcited to see you!" she cackled as lighting randomly struck from somewhere inside the room.
Without warning, 'Renge' then raised a leg and kicked Tamaki in the lower back, making him stumble forward and collide into Kyoya. The two fell to the ground, one on top of the other while a satisfied 'Renge' looked on.
"Now, you will do things to each other for my amusement!" she ordered like a queen to a pair of peasants.
However, her attention was diverted seconds later by Hunny-senpai as he ran passed them, chased by a trio of flying cakes and screaming something about 'betrayal' and 'so many years together!'
"I don't know you guys," Hikaru called out. "She seems pretty normal to me."
Kyoya pushed Tamaki off him and the two struggled to their feet. He went over their options a second time and came to a single conclusion. One he was sure Tamaki wasn't going to like.
"There's really only one person who might be able to help us," Kyoya gestured towards an enormous door across the room, one that appeared and disappeared sporadically and always had a horrible color and vibe to it. Tamaki cringed.
"Do we have to?" the Host Club King whined.
"You'd better!" Haruhi shouted from above them. "I want to get down already!"
Kyoya gave him a look as well, letting him know there was no way out of this. Tamaki shivered in fear. As far as he was concerned, Nekozawa-senpai was a million times scarier than poltergeists.
The duo took three steps to the door, but flew right back when a hat rack sailed by. Taking to the ground, they crawled to the center, where not as many objects passed through. This didn't mean they were safe, they still had the couches to contend with. They danced around one after another, the plushy seats made horrible whining sounds as the moved across the once pristine floor tiles. Tamaki jumped over one and slid away from another, when suddenly, a lightbulb went off in his head.
He wordlessly grabbed Kyoya and waited for a couch to come by, hopping onto the closet one. From there, the two rode the couch until it was close enough to the Black Magic Club's door, at which point they jumped off and sprinted the rest of the way. Kyoya made it first, grasping the handle and throwing open the door. Several more flying items slammed into it, almost shutting it.
"Nekozawa-senpai," Kyoya announced himself while Tamaki held open the door. "We need your immediate assi…tance…"
Kyoya's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. It wasn't a face he'd usually wear, in public or otherwise. As such, Tamaki's expression managed to look even worse as they took in the scene before them. Nekozawa-senpai, his robe on but his hood lowered, was lounging in an elaborate gothic style throne and sipping tea with a guest, who sat in a similar chair. This alone wouldn't be a terribly odd sight, it just so happened that Nekozawa's tea friend was an inhumanly tall and thin man who wore a business suit and had no face. That and his arms appeared to be tentacles of some sort.
"So then," the bizarre 'man' said… somehow. "Evan comes at me with a baseball bat, if you can believe that. The kid actually tries to hit me and of course he couldn't, so I- oh, it appears we have company."
Both Tamaki and Kyoya jumped as Nekozawa and the faceless man turned their heads. The Black Magic Club president blinked, then broke out in a cheerful smile.
"Ah, Suoh and Ootori, what a pleasant surprise!" he raised his teacup to the pair. "I and my fine friend here were just enjoying some afternoon tea, would you care to join us?"
"Not today, I'm afraid," Kyoya's answer was curt and fast. He kept his eyes trained on Nekozawa; looking at the other… personmade him extremely uncomfortable for a number of reasons. "We're having some problems in our club room and were wondering if you could assist us?"
Nekozawa tilted his head to one side, glancing expectantly at the tall person still sipping his drink… somehow.
"It's fine," he said, standing up and revealing his impossible height. "I had to leave early anyway, I have a meeting with Noah at noon. Same time next week, Umehito?"
"As always, my friend!"
The 'man' nodded his blank head and vanished completely, like he'd never even been there at all. Kyoya stared at the spot were he'd once stood, while Tamaki had long ago retreated to the corner.
"My apologies," Nekozawa said while clearing his table. "We're old friends and we meet every Tuesday for tea and crumpits. Anyway, what can I do for you?"
Kyoya pursed his lips, contemplating a response. He briefly considered inquiring further about Nekozawa's 'friend,' but decided against it. It was best he not beat around the bush, he could hear the sounds of continuing chaos beyond the now closed door.
That in mind, Kyoya calmly explained the situation to his Senpai, whose mirth quickly changed to grim understanding.
"I see," Nekozawa brought a hand to his chin in thought as Kyoya's story came to an end. "I was wondering what those sounds were… seems you have quite a problem on your hands."
Kyoya gave him a flat look.
Nekozawa thought for a moment longer, then clapped his hands together and stood again.
"I think I might be able to help," the third year said, walking around his table and past a still cowering Tamaki to the door that separated the two club rooms.
Kyoya forced Tamaki to his feet as the door opened, revealing just as much, if not more insanity than they'd left behind. The three male students entered, Nekozawa taking the lead. He stilled, hands on his hips, and observed the damage. The twins, now fighting a teapot attack. Hunny, drowning in the pile of cake that had finally caught up to him. Mori, desperately trying to ride the couches over to his cousin. Haruhi, now being dragged around the ceiling. 'Renge,' gleefully watching Hunny get eaten and taking pictures.
"Hmm…" Nekozawa nodded his head slowly. "Yes, it's worse than I thought. Tell me, where is the trunk you spoke of?"
Tamaki and Kyoya wordlessly pointed at the trunk, which sat forgotten in the corner of the room. Nekozawa approached it, the two heads of the Host Club close behind. They watched their Senpai walk the length and width of the large chest, examining every nook and cranny like a dedicated scientist. He stopped directly behind the open lid, and, using his foot, calmly pushed the lid down. The trunk closed and locked with a clatter. Instantly, all pandemonium ceased.
The couches stopped in their tracks, enabling Mori to climb over them and reach Hunny, who by now had eaten his way out of his frosting and ice cream filled prison. Hikaru and Kaoru breathed heavily amidst of mass of various objects that had fallen to the floor around them like a pack of dead birds. Their battle over, the twins promptly fainted from exhaustion. Haruhi fell screaming from the ceiling, though she'd been lucky enough to stop directly above Tamaki, who caught her in his arms and held her bridal style. Both their faces heated up from the contact. Renge just looked around, confused and in a daze.
For his part, Kyoya was in awe of the satisfied Nekozawa.
"That should do it," he declared with an easy smile. "Just let me know if you have anymore problems. If you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for a meeting with my friend, Mr. theark."
The dark young man then re-entered his lair, the door closing firmly behind him. Kyoya stared after him, then shook his head and reminded himself that he reallydidn't want to know.
"Alright," he addressed Tamaki as he put Haruhi down. "Tell Hikaru and Kaoru when they wake up to get that trunk out of here. And I don't want any of you to do something like this ever again, is that understood?"
Tamaki nodded, standing a little straighter and saluting his friend.
"Of course, you have my word!"
ONE WEEK LATER
"Uh… Kyoya, we have a little problem."
Those were notthe words Kyoya wanted to hear when he walked into the club room for another day of hosting. Still reeling off the events of last week, Kyoya leaped into the former music room, bypassing Tamaki completely and searching for even the slightest hint of something amiss. He found nothing save almost completed repairs and the orderly couches and tables. Not a single pillow or tea cup was out of place.
"What is it then, Tamaki," he wearily turned to his still anxious best friend. "Not another trunk filled with spirits, I hope."
"Oh no," Tamaki shook his head. "Nothing like that. It's a carpetbag this time."
Kyoya felt that headache returning with a vengeance. Before he could say anything, Tamaki began to ramble.
"And it didn't release any spirits like last time. Actually, I think it's some sort of dimensional portal."
Kyoya blinked. "Dimensional… portal?"
"I'm really sorry, Kyoya. I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen again, I just-"
"JUST," Kyoya interrupted, lifting a finger to hover over Tamaki's mouth. "Explain to me what you mean by 'dimensional portal.'"
But that was rendered unnecessary when, before Kyoya's very eyes, a mass of black shadows formed on the wall beside him, growing bigger by the second and revealing a mass of hellish eyes that all seemed to stare into his very soul. A man then stepped out of the shadows. He was incredibly tall, at least seven feet, and wore all red from his floor length coat to the fedora hat perched atop his head. His eyes were pure red as well, and when he grinned, he revealed a mouth full of sharp, gleaming teeth complete with a pair of fangs. The man-beast bore down on Kyoya, grinning insanely.
"Hello there," his voice was deep and smooth. "I'm looking for my fledgling, Police Girl. Have you seen her?"
Kyoya fainted dead away.
A/N: So, I'd been thinking of writing a Halloween fic for Ouran, but then The DA Ranger Group started a writing contest, so I figured I'd combine the two.
I don't know how exactly I came up with it, just that once I started writing it, I simply couldn't stop. XD
Happy (very) early Halloween, everybody!