The Blind Fight The Blind
THIS FIC IS IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER CONNECTED WITH ANY OF MY OTHER ONES!!! Sorry, but it's important everybody gets that!
I wrote this because I felt that the incident in the penseive in book five provided us with a possible explanation for why Severus joined Voldemort. Also, I had writer's block on my other fic and this just wrote itself! This is just my explanation, it fits with the books so far and there are slight spoilers for book five, but they're not huge!
The setting is at first at the end of book five when Draco and Harry are fighting in the Entrance Hall, I found that scene unbelievably sad and my heart really went out to Draco.
The story moves back in time after that starting with Severus' fifth year, it's the summer term after the shrieking shack incident and about a week after the incident we saw in the penseive.
I hope you all like this, I did involve Narcissa and Lucius but really they could represent anyone, I tried to show a more human side to the deatheaters. People aren't born evil. Hence the title. It comes from a war poem called 'To Germany' by Charles Hamilton Sorley, it's a beautiful poem and the line seemed to fit. The part it's taken from is:
"And in each other's dearest ways we stand
And hiss and hate and the blind fight the blind."
We are all born innocent, people aren't born bad they're made that way often by things beyond their control, so underneath we're all the same. All blind to everything but our own deeply held beliefs, well the people are in this fic anyway. Really I was just trying to get this idea out of my head because it refused to go away so here it is!
Again I say this is entirely unrelated to 'I Built My Life Around You' and 'Wedding Bells Just Turned to Rust' and 'Turning Point'. It stands alone, in it's own little universe and Narcissa and Lucius are completely different people in this story to how they are in Wedding Bells.
Now, enjoy! (If anyone actually didn't give in at the sight of the long author's notes!)
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"What are you doing Potter?" Severus Snape snapped coldly, emerging from a staircase into the entrance hall to see Potter pull his wand on Draco Malfoy.
"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry replied, as usual showing little respect for his potions master.
"Put that wand away, ten points from Gryff-" Snape glanced across at the hour-glasses and sneered. "Ah I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case Potter, we will simply have to-"
"Add some more?" Snape was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, newly returned from St. Mungo's.
"Professor McGonagall!" he strode towards her, irritated by her interruption but oddly relieved to see she was alright. "Out of St. Mungo's I see!"
"Yes, Professor Snape, I'm quite as good as new. You two - Crabbe - Goyle - Here, take these up to my office for me," she handed them her cloak and travelling bag. She then proceeded to top up Gryffindor's points before suggesting that Harry and Draco should be outside enjoying the sunshine. Severus however was not listening, the animosity he had witnessed in the on the boys' faces and the way in which both eerily resembled their fathers brought to Severus' mind the events of years past
*******
Severus had once again found himself cornered in an empty corridor by Potter and Black and their friends. Words had been said, curses had flown and Severus was trying to hold his own against both of them at once.
"What do you lot think you're doing?" their fight was interrupted by the sound of the head boy's quiet, silky drawl.
"Looks like they're causing trouble to me," a blond girl stood behind him with a distinctly mocking expression on her face, "Hey, as head boy isn't it your job to break these things up?"
"You know, I was rather under the impression that it was," the handsome head boy smirked at his girlfriend.
"Sod off Malfoy, what do you care about this little runt?" James Potter snapped, sick of having his fun interrupted.
"This 'little runt' as you so ineloquently put it is a Slytherin, that makes him our concern," Narcissa addressed her remarks to them but glanced meaningfully at her boyfriend as she said the last part.
"I don't need your help!" Snape all but spat at the older students.
The fifth year Gryffindors expected the head boy and his girlfriend to react badly to this; but they didn't, they looked at each other with sympathy in their eyes.
"I'm sure you're quite capable of handling this without our help..." Lucius began with respect in his voice.
"The thing is," Narcissa interrupted him, "We'd rather enjoy helping you, if you'll let us?"
"Why would you want to help me?" he asked scornfully.
"I've never liked those who are so cowardly they only feel able to confront someone when they outnumber them," Narcissa gave a smirk identical to her boyfriend's.
Snape was still standing with his wand ready and aimed at James but his attention had been grabbed by the young couple. Suddenly James cried out and they noticed that he was levitated several feet from the floor and had slammed into the wall which he now appeared to be attached to, "And now you're attacking people when their backs are turned? You really are pathetic Potter!" Lucius sneered.
Sirius raised his wand only to find it flying from his hand and into Narcissa's. "Have to be faster than that fly-boy!" she taunted her surprised looking cousin.
Remus looked torn between drawing his own wand and trying to calm everyone down. Peter looked tempted to put his tail between his legs and run for it. Sirius ran at Narcissa, going to get his wand back, and found himself thrown back not by Lucius, who looked horrified at the attempted assault on his girlfriend, but by Severus who had sent him flying with a flick of his wand.
"Ok, you guys stop this. It's not worth it!" Remus put a hand on James' arm, bringing his wand down towards the floor whereas it had previously been pointed at Snape. Lucius had let James drop the instant he had seen Narcissa under attack.
James shook Remus off and brought his wand up but Narcissa instantly sent a rather unpleasant hex in his direction which caused him to sprout fur all over his face and hands.
"Evans's never gonna date you now!" Narcissa laughed mockingly.
"Narcissa Black!" an angry voice broke across their fight, "What exactly do you think you're doing!?"
"I'm dead!" Narcissa muttered and turned slowly around to face a lived Professor McGonagall.
"Come with me right now!" she snapped and flicked her wand at James so that he returned to normal, "Are you alright James?"
He nodded but didn't have time to reply as McGonagall turned to Lucius, "And what were you doing? You're the head boy for goodness sake, you don't allow people to hex younger students just because you're dating them!"
"It wasn't his fault!" Narcissa piped up, "He was trying to stop me!"
"No he wasn't!" Sirius snapped at the blonde girl.
"Yes he was," Severus said calmly.
Narcissa glanced across at Severus and winked at him from behind McGonagall's back.
"I don't want to hear it!" McGonagall snapped, "Now come with me Narcissa, prefects should not behave this!"
She marched off with Narcissa dawdling behind, hitting Peter across the head as she went.
Lucius glanced across at Severus and sighed, "That girl doesn't know how to stay out of trouble."
"I don't need your help or anyone else's!" Severus snapped before sweeping away in the opposite direction to Narcissa and the transfigurations professor.
"Yeah, run away Snivellus, can't defend yourself without a girl to watch your back I suppose!" James taunted.
"You know I think my girlfriend had the right idea!" Lucius said as Snape turned looking furious. "Shall we?" he glanced at Severus who understood and raised his wand at the same time as Lucius. Their respective curses hit James and Sirius at almost the same second. The two boys brought their hands up to their faces as fur sprouted from their skin.
"Nice shot Severus, have a nice day you lot." Lucius gestured in front of him and Severus warily walked away with Lucius following, leaving Remus and Peter to escort their friends to the hospital wing.
*******
"Two weeks worth of detentions!" Narcissa burst into the Slytherin common room all but foaming at the mouth. "Can you believe it?!"
Lucius came forward and slipped an arm around his girlfriend, "Never mind Narcie, it could have been worse."
"Easy for you to say!" she snapped, "And don't call me Narcie, it sounds ridiculous!"
Lucius smirked as she threw his arm off. "You know you adore me really," he drawled.
"In your dreams Malfoy!"
"Oh dear," he said to Snape, "I only get Malfoy when she's really angry!"
"Too right I'm angry! I'll never be head girl next year you know!"
"I'm sorry you got into trouble," Severus said in a cold voice that suggested he couldn't care less, "But I can handle myself. In future perhaps you'd both do better to mind your own business."
The common room held a collective breath as Lucius and Narcissa turned to look at Severus who simply glared at them and then made his way over to his dormitory. Lucius looked about to say something but Narcissa elbowed him viciously in the side and Severus was allowed to pass unmolested.
"He could at least be grateful!" Lucius muttered to Narcissa.
"Of course he's not grateful you daft fool!" Narcissa snapped.
"Why?"
She sighed, "No wonder people say I'm the brains of this relationship!"
"No they don't! Now what is it?"
Narcissa shot a meaningful look at those Slytherins who were still staring at the pair and they quickly looked away, deciding that the wrath of Narcissa was not something they wanted on their heads!
Narcissa drew her boyfriend over to a corner and sat down next to him, "Luc, he wants someone to stand up for him but he doesn't want people to know that he wants that."
"Why not? I don't understand."
"It's a sign of weakness in his eyes. Look I think the kid's pretty messed up, give him time and he'll come around."
"So what do we do in the meantime?"
"Keep defending him."
"Whatever you say," Lucius said leaning in to kiss his girlfriend.
Narcissa pushed him away, "I'm still angry with you!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm never going to get to be head girl!"
"That's hardly my fault!"
"Well I didn't see you taking the blame!"
"Didn't you explain to McGonagall that they started it?"
"No, I didn't want to embarrass Severus, besides she wouldn't have believed me."
"You're right, we can handle this ourselves. Have you thought anymore about what happened this summer?"
"Yes."
"And?" Lucius pressed.
"I think it's a good move. Maybe we should think about introducing Severus to the Dark Lord, he's a very bright student, could make a brilliant ally, and he needs someone powerful to fight his corner. I'm sick of watching them treat him like that!"
"You're right."
"As always!"
"Yeah whatever, goodnight Narcissa." Lucius got up from the chair and headed for his dormitory.
"Goodnight."
*******
Up in his dormitory Severus Snape was sat alone on his bed, his knees bunched up to his chest with his head resting on them. He didn't understand what had happened. The day had started like any other and now? Now his world felt oddly unfamiliar. He didn't understand why Narcissa and Lucius had stepped in, the two of them were good looking and popular and though they stood up for the Slytherin first years and their own friends when they needed it they weren't exactly known for sticking up for the underdog, even though Severus had to admit they were never as cruel as Potter and Black's little group seemed to take pleasure in being. His first assumption had been that they wanted something but they hadn't asked him for anything in return...yet.
He wondered if Narcissa had simply been using it as another opportunity to have a go at her cousin, who she seemed to deeply dislike, but then it had been Lucius who had stepped in first and he always acted as though he was above these 'petty squabbles' as he would normally have referred to them. Severus didn't like the unfamiliar, it scared him though he would never have admitted it and he dreaded Narcissa or Lucius deciding to call in the 'favour' he now undoubtedly owed them. Still it had been fun seeing those idiots get what they deserved, he'd had no idea that the two older Slytherins could be that formidable.
He settled down to sleep, he didn't want to go back down to the common room in case either of them objected to his lack of gratitude, not that he had anyone to talk to down there anyway.
*******
The next morning Severus was having breakfast, alone as usual, when Narcissa sat down next to him, "Hey, mind if I join you? Lucius has already eaten, he's too early a riser for me to have breakfast with him!"
"Sit where you want."
Narcissa didn't seem discouraged by his obvious lack of enthusiasm. "How are you this morning?"
"Fine."
"Anything interesting in the Daily Prophet?"
"I wouldn't know, I haven't read it."
"So what's your first lesson today?"
"Charms."
"I've got DADA."
"Fascinating!"
"You want me to go away and be quiet don't you?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
She smirked, "I can't imagine!"
They spent the rest of the meal in silence with Severus leaving as soon as he got the chance.
*******
"How'd this morning go?" Lucius asked, meeting his girlfriend who was on her way back from Herbology.
"Not well, he didn't seem exactly overjoyed to see me!"
"Who wouldn't be overjoyed to see you?"
"Severus Snape apparently!"
"My, my, we've finally found a boy you're not related to who you can't twist round your little finger!"
"I know, it's quite disturbing really!"
They both laughed and Lucius slipped an arm round her waist, hoping she'd forgotten she was mad with him. She didn't throw him off.
"I think you should talk to him," she said suddenly.
"Me?"
"Yes, I think I might be intimidating him, plus there's my somewhat unsavoury Gryffindor cousin!"
"Don't you think I'd intimidate him more than you do?"
"No. Girls don't talk to him other than to mock him. How many pretty, older girls willingly sit down and talk to him when they're not trying to get him to do their potions homework? I think you've got a better chance of getting him to talk to you."
"Alright I'll give it a try."
"You know personally, I don't think he's half bad, I don't see why the other girls don't see it. He's got that whole dark and brooding thing! I like it, in fact if I wasn't stuck with you..."
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence!"
She laughed and pulled away from him, "Well, I think he'd be quite attractive if he didn't look so malnourished, not conventionally attractive but attractive nonetheless."
"Oh so that's what this is about, you want to play mother to the poor undernourished fifth year, you'll be feeding him chicken soup next!"
"Oh don't be daft, I just like the guy and I hate the way they treat him. Besides it was you who stepped in yesterday!"
"I had to, he was outnumbered. Besides I feel pretty bad for him myself, from what I hear his home life isn't great either!"
"Really?"
"No, well that's what I've heard. I think his father's a bit of a bastard."
"Reminds me of yours!"
Lucius laughed humourlessly, "Yes, I can see why."
"Oh lord, they're at it again!"
Lucius turned to see the Gryffindors hex Severus as they walked him. He ran across and muttered the counter curse, helping the younger boy to his feet. Severus instantly shook him off and walked away, ignoring the head boy entirely.
Narcissa caught up with him and he turned to her and rolled his eyes.
"I didn't say it would be easy!" she said, shrugging as her boyfriend let out an exasperated sigh.
*******
Severus was eating dinner alone amongst the first years, who were looking terrified of him, so he wouldn't have Narcissa sitting next to him again. After Lucius' latest display he was getting seriously worried as to what the two of them might be after from him. They were both quite capable of doing their own potions work so unless they wanted some sort of illegal potion making for them he had no idea what could be motivating them to be nice to him.
He suddenly heard a squeal from across the hall. It was the Evans girl who'd tried to defend him the other week; he glared at her. She leapt from her seat and began to berate James who was sat opposite her. Severus frowned, unable to work out what was going on but he did work out that James seemed to have about as much idea of what the girl was yelling for as Severus himself did.
Suddenly he felt a presence behind him and a quiet voice said, "Dead cockroach in her soup, that kind of prank has James Potter written all over it, remember how he did it to that Hufflepuff the other day?"
It was Lucius Malfoy, who was looking decidedly pleased with himself.
"You did it." Severus was deeply confused.
"Of course, Potter wouldn't want to upset Evans, he has to stay on her good side if he has any chance of persuading her to go out with him and he hasn't been doing too well on that front recently!"
"Why did you do it?"
"Why do you think? Revenge."
"For what?"
"Him hexing you. I used a simple switching spell, switched a piece of vegetable for the cockroach and it was worth it just to hear her scream like that!" Lucius laughed and walked away, taking Narcissa's hand and leading her out of the great hall before she broke a rib through trying not to have a fit of hysterics.
Now Severus was seriously confused, why did they want to help him?
*******
Severus had several days respite from the pair's rescue attempts while Lucius finished his NEWTs and was busy studying. Narcissa and Lucius continued to try to make conversation and he continued to answer their attempts in monosyllables. He had expected them to give up or to get violent with him but they did neither, simply continuing to be friendly and civil whenever they saw him.
Severus had heard a lot of rumours about both their families, Narcissa's eldest sister was supposedly one of Voldemort's followers, the Blacks were meant to be up to their eyeballs in the Dark Arts but Narcissa seemed keen on presenting a respectable image most of the time.
The Malfoys always presented a respectable front to the world but Severus had heard mutterings at home which suggested that their family fortune had been accumulated by many generations of decidedly unpleasant people making advantageous alliances regardless of who they had to make the alliances with. Mercenary was the word he thought his father had used, but then his father always claimed that they were better than everyone else anyway and that normally meant running everyone else down. Lucius was capable of being just as arrogant as Potter but he didn't seem to try so hard, you could tell when Potter was trying to impress someone, if Lucius had been in Potter's shoes Lily Evans would have fallen at his feet years ago, everything came far too easily to the arrogant young man. At the same time though he was proving difficult to dislike, after five years of being persecuted and ignored Severus was wary of any attention but he also welcomed it. Narcissa and Lucius were always friendly and kind though Severus did not trust either of them, he couldn't understand their motivation and that still worried him.
It was nearing the end of the year and he was not looking forward to going home, he realised that he would almost miss Lucius when he returned to Hogwarts the next year. Narcissa would still be there but without her boyfriend he assumed she'd just go back to the large group of Slytherin girls all dying to be her friends. Lucius appeared to have breezed through his NEWTs and he and Narcissa were discussing the summer rather secretively but they still found time to speak to him. He was sat alone in the common room on the last night of the summer term, unable to sleep, when Lucius came in from a last patrol of the dungeon corridors to check there were no students up after hours.
"Hello Severus, you still up?"
"Yes, I was just going to go up to bed actually."
"Oh, I was going to have a hot chocolate, won't you join me? Narcissa's gone to bed and I won't sleep for hours yet."
"Alright," Severus answered warily, regretting that his wand was in his dormitory.
Lucius conjured two mugs of steaming hot chocolate and passed one to Severus. "Looking forward to going home tomorrow?"
"Not particularly."
"Me neither."
There was something in Lucius' quiet tone which prompted Severus to ask, against his better judgement, "Why?"
"I'm going to miss this place and I guess I have to sort out what I'm going to do with my life and that's quite intimidating."
"I just assumed you'd live off the family fortune or something," Severus said snidely, it was no secret in Slytherin that Lucius didn't like getting his hands dirty and only grudgingly settled down to work.
"No, I've got plans for the future. There's so much wrong with our world."
"And you think you're the one to put it right?" Severus sneered.
"No, but I think I've met someone who can."
"Who?"
Lucius frowned slightly as though making a difficult decision then he said with utmost calmness, "His followers call him the Dark Lord, there are few who will speak his name."
"He-who-must-not-be-named. You are ambitious. Or is the little woman pressurising you into the family business?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well I was under the distinct impression that that's what Narcissa's sister was involved with."
"You sound disapproving."
"Not necessarily, but I wouldn't just support someone for the sake of it because I needed something to do."
Lucius gave a calculating smile, "You should meet him, I think he'd like you."
"I doubt it, few people do."
"Narcissa and I do."
"Lucius, why did you defend me that day? Why are you and her being nice to me? Do you want something?"
"Bloody hell, and Narcissa says I'm paranoid!"
"I just don't understand."
"Like I said, we like you and we empathised with your position."
"Oh yes because the king and queen of popularity would know exactly what it feels like to be me!" Severus spat.
"You might be surprised," Lucius replied calmly.
"I doubt it."
"People are different at school to how they are at home."
"I know," this was said with a bitterness that surprised Lucius and told him at once that the rumours had been right about Severus' home life not being what it should.
"Do you?" he asked, "I do." There was a pause before Lucius continued, "My father's a bastard! My mother couldn't give a damn either, he used to curse me when he was angry or drunk, and he's always drunk! Then one day last summer I took control."
"What did you do?"
"I hit him over the head with an antique vase, one of my mother's favourites actually," this last part was said with undisguised glee, "It knocked him out and he hasn't dared to do anything to me since, particularly as he knows that now I can return any magic he sends at me without having the ministry down on my head."
"That's terrible."
"Yeah well, he had it coming to him."
"I mean the way he treated you and more so the fact your mother didn't care! At least my mum gives a damn, even if she is too scared to do anything."
"What do you mean?" Lucius pushed gently not wanting to pressurise Severus but curious as to his story.
"My father knocks her about, he's hit me a few times, he doesn't use magic. I remember her when I was young, she was always smiling and laughing, now she just cowers when anyone comes into a room and jumps at small noises. It's pathetic what he was able to reduce her to."
"Well you can either let these things destroy you or you can draw strength from them, I know what I'm going to do. What about you? What will you do when you leave here?"
"I don't know, get out of that house I suppose would be top of the list."
"Good idea. Think about what I said about meeting the Dark Lord, I think you'd find him quite different to what you expect."
"You've met him then?"
"Last summer, Narcissa and I persuaded Bellatrix to get us an audience with him, Severus he can help you, he can help this world! I believe in him."
The fervour in Lucius' voice piqued Severus' curiosity, "What's he like?"
"Powerful, intelligent, understanding. That was the best part of it, he makes you feel like he understands you. You know he didn't give me the specifics of his childhood but he was raised in a muggle orphanage. He's like you or me, he's worked his way through a traumatic childhood to make something of his life. The options are him or Dumbledore, the ministry is irrelevant. And then we have to ask the question of what has Dumbledore ever done for anyone in this house?"
"True, he treats those Gryffindors like they're bloody perfect, he thinks anything they do is just a well meant joke! He lets them get away with murder almost literally!"
"Precisely!"
"I'll think about it, but I've got two more years here, I don't know what I'll do yet."
"I glad you've said that, this is your decision and it's a big one so give it some serious consideration."
"I will."
"Are you sitting with anyone in particular on the train tomorrow?"
"No, I usually sit alone."
"Well, we shall have to rectify that. You should sit with Narcissa and I and some of our friends."
"Thank you but I wouldn't want to intrude."
"You wouldn't be, don't argue!"
Severus smiled slightly and said goodnight to his friend, yes he thought friend was the right word for Lucius. The things the older boy had said had made so much sense and he went to sleep that night feeling for the first time in ages that there was hope in his future.
*******
Severus' summer was long and much of it was composed of things he wanted to forget but which he felt would be forever etched on his mind. Narcissa and Lucius wrote to him constantly, they even asked him to come and stay once but he knew his father would never allow him to go. He returned to school on September first feeling a lot less hopeful than he had at the beginning of the summer, but he had not forgotten his conversation with Lucius.
He arrived on the platform alone and rather early as usual, that way he could ensure he got a carriage alone. He was dragging his trunk across the platform when he heard a familiar voice and whirled to face it, "Hiya Snivellus, good summer? I see you still haven't discovered shampoo!"
Potter. And Black was stood right behind him, brilliant. He chose to ignore them, thinking that they could hardly do anything with Potter's parents there. It was then he felt the other end of the trunk lift, he looked up in surprise and concern and saw Narcissa holding the other end of it. "Hiya Sirius, I see you found another pureblood family to join and bring shame on." She smiled sweetly at her cousin but Severus knew her well enough to know that the smile was reserved for people she disliked in situations where she had to appear to be nice to them.
Severus lifted a questioning eyebrow. Narcissa smiled at him, "Did I forget to tell you, my dear cousin ran away from home the day after his seventeenth birthday!"
Severus snorted with laughter; "I'm surprised your family didn't throw him out before then!"
"Me too! Come on let's get a carriage! Lucius!"
Severus was surprised to see Lucius Malfoy come across levitating Narcissa's trunk.
"Don't worry I didn't fail my NEWTs I'm just here to see you off!" he laughed at Severus' expression.
"Thank God for that!" James said rather loudly.
"You might want to be careful," Lucius said in a silky voice, turning to face them, "I'm a fully qualified wizard and you two don't even come close!"
Sirius looked ready for a fight but Narcissa placed a hand on her boyfriend's arm and said, "Don't waste your breath on him, he's no one." She sneered unpleasantly at James' parents who looked about ready to step in and defend their son and his friend.
Lucius smirked and the three of them lifted the two trunks into a nearby carriage.
"So did you get made head girl?" Severus asked.
"No. Predictably enough! I think some Ravenclaw got it, it's no big deal I guess!"
They had a fun time on the train with a small group of other people Severus had spoken with on the train home the previous year. He glanced round the carriage, they were all Slytherins; Rudolphus Lestrange, now a seventh year for the second time as he had managed to fail one of his NEWTs rather spectacularly, he was rumoured to one day be Narcissa's brother-in-law if his involvement with her eldest sister was anything to go by. A fellow sixth year, Evan Rosier; known for fighting and never backing down from anything. Constance Wilkes, another seventh year and a good friend of Narcissa's along with Kristina Hemlock. These were the members of Narcissa and Lucius' inner circle, now Narcissa's inner circle Severus assumed and he felt oddly proud to be sat with them.
As the autumn term wore on Narcissa and Severus spent more time together, she was bearing up well but it became clear that she missed her boyfriend a good deal. Severus thought there might be something else but he couldn't work out what it was until he came downstairs one night to retrieve an essay he had left in the common room and found Narcissa sat staring at the dying embers in the fireplace.
"Hi, what are you doing still up?"
She jumped and turned to him. "Oh Severus you gave me a fright!"
"Is something wrong?" he asked sitting down across from her.
"No," she smiled strangely, "Quite the reverse, I assure you."
He raised an eyebrow and she answered his unspoken question, "Lucius is taking the mark tonight."
The mark? Oh. "I see."
She smiled, "It's such an honour Severus and he seemed awfully pleased when he last wrote. He couldn't say much, obviously, in case the letter was read by anyone else but he sounded pretty excited."
"Will you take the mark when you leave here?"
"I don't know, I get the impression Lucius doesn't want me to. He seems to be worried I'll get hurt, really if Bellatrix can take care of herself I think I can manage too!"
"Didn't you say your sister was a little mad and that even you wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley?"
Narcissa laughed, "Yes I did and I meant it. All I heard all summer was the Dark Lord this and the Dark Lord that! I mean it's interesting at first but she doesn't half get on my nerves after a while. And with Andromeda gone she's the only one to talk to!"
"Andromeda?"
"My other sister, she's older than me but younger than Bellatrix, she's a disgrace. Married some muggle a couple of years ago!"
"Why?!"
"She's a traitor to her bloodline just like my idiotic cousin, though at least he had the sense to go to another pureblood family! I mean a Mudblood would be one thing but an actual muggle?!" Narcissa shuddered, "I always knew there was something wrong with her!"
"Are you worried about Lucius?"
"A little," she admitted, "I don't want him to get hurt either!"
The rest of the year passed in much the same way with Narcissa keeping their select group updated on Lucius' adventures as a fully fledged deatheater and Rudolphus looking decidedly envious and continuously damning his parents for insisting he remain another year and re-sit the DADA exam. The Gryffindors were as bad as ever but now Severus had a group of friends to defend him he found it all more bearable. He remained in school that Christmas with Evan and with Kristine who had stayed in an attempt to get the attention of a Ravenclaw seventh year by the name of Nott. Severus had been invited to spend Christmas with Narcissa but he refused knowing that his parents would insist that if he left Hogwarts it would be to come home so he pleaded a heavy workload and stayed at school.
The year passed very quickly for him and he was soon preparing to go home again. Narcissa was itching to see Lucius again and was driving them all mad with talk of her heroic boyfriend.
Severus and Evan Rosier were the only ones who would be returning for the next school year and had spent much of the last couple of months tormenting the others who had been sitting their NEWTs.
Lucius was waiting on the platform with a smile on his face and a copy of the Daily Prophet in his hand. He embraced Narcissa and then pushed the newspaper into her hands; they all crowded around. It was open at the obituaries, Lucius' father was dead, heart attack blamed on alcohol. The smirk on Lucius' face said it all, he wasn't sorry, he was relieved and Severus couldn't help but return his smile as all the others but Narcissa offered their commiserations.
*******
Narcissa and Lucius married that summer and Severus spent the last week of the holidays staying with them in Malfoy Manor where they had moved in due to Lucius' mother having moved to a smaller house upon her husband's death.
Two days before he was due back in school Lucius asked him to have a drink with him late in the evening after Narcissa had gone to bed.
"We've hardly had a chance to speak, I've been so busy. Sorry if I've been a bad host."
"You haven't. How are things going with..." he trailed off and gestured at Lucius' arm where he knew the dark mark was concealed.
"Excellently. In fact that's what I wanted to talk to you, he's expressed quite an interest in seeing you, he's very impressed with what he's heard of you."
"I doubt I could impress him!"
"Of course you could, you don't give yourself enough credit Severus. What do you say, will you meet with him?"
"Yes," Severus hadn't even known that he would consent to the meeting until the word was out of his mouth and irretractable, not that he would have wanted to retract it.
Lucius smiled, "Good, how does Christmas sound to you?"
"Fine."
"Come and spend Christmas with us and I'll take you to meet him. Oh and don't mention it to Evan, it's just you he wants to meet at the moment?"
"Just me?" Severus said, unable to keep the astonished pride from creeping into his voice.
Lucius smiled again and nodded.
*******
Christmas came astonishingly fast for Severus and he soon found himself being met by the Malfoys off the Hogwart's Express. Narcissa spent the journey to the manor catching him up on all the news, Rudolphus and Bellatrix were engaged and Khristina Hemlock had finally got the Ravenclaw she'd been after. Also Narcissa's other sister had had a daughter but Narcissa only mentioned that briefly before hurrying on to tell Severus about what Lucius had been up to with the other deatheaters.
It was not until that evening that he began to feel nervous while waiting for Lucius to say that it was time to go. Eventually they were leaving, taking a portkey to who knew where and Narcissa was telling him that he'd do just fine and not to worry.
They arrived in a small room and Lucius gestured Severus through one of the two doors that led out of the room in opposite directions, he stepped into a much larger room where a lone figure, hooded and robed, stood at a window staring out across the surrounding fields.
"My Lord," Lucius bowed as the figure turned and Severus followed suit after a brief hesitation.
"Lucius," the voice was low and almost snakelike, like hearing someone speak in parseltongue Severus thought, only you can understand it.
"My Lord I have brought Severus Snape to see you as promised."
The figure stepped forward and past Lucius to where Severus was stood. "Severus, we meet at last, I have heard much of you from Lucius and Narcissa."
"Oh?"
"Yes, apparently you're quite the potions master."
"I'm not bad."
"Come don't be modest, Lucius is hardly one for exaggerating other people's talents." He turned to Lucius, "Leave us, there are refreshments in the other room, help yourself."
Lucius bowed and left, giving Severus an encouraging smile.
"Do you know why you are here, Severus Snape?"
"No."
"You are here because I am gathering about me the best that your generation has to offer, and from what I hear you are the best yet you remain unappreciated. Tell me, why is that?"
"I beg your pardon but I am not the best."
"Oh but you are, your potions skills rival those of some of the masters of our age. As for your OWL results they were most impressive, particularly in Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts, a subject you are fond of I believe?"
"Yes."
"You have talents that need only encouragement to enable you to achieve your full potential, you could be great Severus. And yet you have struggled against adversity in your life. Your father..."
"What about him," Severus was surprised at his own daring, interrupting the Dark Lord in mid-speech.
The Dark Lord did not seem angry though, "You clearly feel strongly on that subject, Lucius did as well when it came to his father..."
He left the comment hanging and Severus wondered for a moment what he meant, was he implying that Lucius' father's death had been no accident?
"My father too," the Dark Lord continued, "Was less than satisfactory, he left my mother to die and myself to be raised in a muggle orphanage. Fathers should not behave like that."
"No, they shouldn't."
"How was your mother when you last saw her?"
The question surprised Severus, "She was fine, thank you."
"Really? I had heard your father had nearly hospitalised her this time."
Severus was shocked, he had not even told Lucius or Narcissa about that. "How did you know?"
"I have my ways. Your mother recovered remarkably quickly though thanks to your potions abilities. This world is under the control of men like your father and fools like Dumbledore who seek the pollution of our bloodlines. We must remain strong and the only way to survive is to fight. "
"Fight who?"
"The ministry, Dumbledore, all who would oppose us. We are the future Severus, things will change and they will change for the better, I will make sure of it. I would like it very much if you were to stand with us when the time came."
"You mean become a deatheater, like Lucius?"
"Yes, though not exactly like Lucius, you both have different areas of expertise and your potions skills and knowledge would certainly be invaluable to me. Why my very success could depend on your support or lack there of. But do not make decisions in haste, think on it and we will meet again once you have graduated. Now, I must leave but before you go take this as a gift."
Severus took the large book the man had conjured from thin air, it was a book of dark curses.
"I think James Potter and his friends should cause you some entertainment with the aid of this book."
"Thank you, my lord," Severus said quietly.
The figure swept from the room and Lucius came back in, "Did it go well?" he asked eagerly.
"I think so."
Lucius beamed, "Good, now come back to the manor, I'm sure Narcissa will have waited up for us, she'll want to hear all about it.
*******
Christmas with the newly wed Malfoys was wonderful and Severus returned to school in high spirits. The rest of the year flew by so fast he hardly had time to bother with Potter and his friends, it was strange how their pranks suddenly seemed so insignificant. You can't hurt me anymore, he thought. Though he still managed to find the time to try out a couple of the tamer curses in the Dark Lord's book.
Graduation came round and soon Severus was waking up at Hogwarts for the last time, he could not say he would miss the place, much of his time spent there had been wasted in misery and fear, he was glad to be leaving. He had decided not to return to his parent's house and Narcissa had offered him a home until he had set up somewhere for himself. She and Lucius had attended his graduating ceremony but his parents had not, his mother sending her apologies and pleading sickness. He had noticed that Narcissa had gone out of her way to ignore her cousin, merely sneering in his general direction now and again. It appeared that Sirius Black would never be welcomed back into the arms of his family.
Severus had long ago decided to take the mark and as it burnt into his skin that night he looked up into the face of the Dark Lord and knew he had made the right decision. Things were going to get better.
*******
Of course, things had got better for a time, but it had not taken long for Severus' conscience to begin to prick. Lucius would regale Narcissa with tales of daring but all Severus could ever recall was slaughter, of course he was more often shut away fascinated by the potions he was asked to create. It was not very often that he wondered what those potions were used for. Eventually he had been able to stand it no longer and he had returned to the one man in whom he had seen the power to help him, he just hadn't been sure if the man had got the inclination. As it turned out he had, though perhaps only because Severus had been useful. No, he thought, it wasn't just because I was useful, it was because he wanted to help, could have helped before if I'd only seen it and he hadn't spent so long worrying about his precious Gryffindors.
The years after that had been long and difficult, only his wide knowledge of Occlumency had kept him alive and undiscovered in his role as a spy. He had never thought of himself as a spy for the light, he had begun to feel that the Dark Lord's name was not correct, his great talent seemed to be illumination of the differences and flaws in people. Severus had always connected dark with comfort, the cool dark of the Slytherin dungeons and the potions labs, it had not taken long to realise that there was none of darkness's comfort in the 'Dark Lord'. No, he was pure light, harsh and blinding.
But even he had fallen, proving that none were invincible, not that Severus had ever doubted his return. The prophecy he had tried to destroy still remained unfulfilled. Severus frowned as he watched the son of his adolescent enemy walk away and outside into the harsh sunlight.
He looked across at Draco, his Godson though few knew it. He saw the pain that lay under the fury directed at Potter. "Are you alright?" It seemed inadequate really, how was the boy supposed to be, even McGonagall hadn't had the heart to tell him off as she undoubtedly was Crabbe and Goyle.
"Yes. Everything will be alright sir, the darkest hours are just before the dawn. My father will not be so easily defeated."
The boy walked away leaving Severus wishing he could say more, reach out to the boy, stop him from repeating his father's mistakes, stop him from allowing a childish argument to escalate into something so much worse. But he could not, that would give him away, and saving one person simply was not worth it, he had a job to do which was more important, he just wished that there was some way of saving the boy as well.
No, Lucius wouldn't be so easily defeated and part of him longed to hear that the man had escaped, it had pained him deeply to hear Umbridge say that Lucius spoke highly of him, he had betrayed the only people who had defended him and wanted nothing from it. But his choice was made and his path was set, this time it truly was the right choice. Narcissa and Lucius had made their own choices, he just wished he didn't remember the things about them that made them human, the way they bickered at school, the way Lucius had swept her off her feet and carried her across the threshold of their manor...the way they had defended him when no one else wanted anything to do with him. He shook his head, it was no use living in the past, it was too late to change any of it. He just prayed that in Draco's future he wouldn't see the past repeat itself.
*******
What do you think? Let me know because this idea refused to go away until it was written about so I'd really love to hear what people think about it!
Now about the extra people in Slytherin:
Evan Rosier - Real deatheater who was at school with Sev, went down fighting Moody in the first war.
Rudolphus Lestrange - Again, real deatheater and Sirius says he was part of the gang Severus hung out with. I held him back a year so that he wouldn't seem too young for Bellatrix who is Narcissa's eldest sister.
Khristina Hemlock - my character but the Ravenclaw she's after isn't. Nott is another real and still living Death Eater, their son is called Theodore and in Slytherin in Draco's year. I took the liberty of making Nott a Ravenclaw as not all deatheaters and their spouses can have come from Slytherin! Hemlock is a deadly poison, in fact Socrates was sentenced to death by a drink of Hemlock.
Constance Wilkes - Wilkes is a real deatheater who died in the first war, I took the liberty of give them a first name and gender as the book doesn't say. I felt we needed more women deatheaters.
All these people (except Khistina) are mentioned by Sirius as being people in the group of Slytherins which included Severus who nearly all became Death Eaters. I don't think Lucius and Severus were at school together but he and Narcissa were simply meant to represent anyone well meaning but misguided where the dark Lord was concerned.
Please review, I really want to know what people think of this!
THIS FIC IS IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER CONNECTED WITH ANY OF MY OTHER ONES!!! Sorry, but it's important everybody gets that!
I wrote this because I felt that the incident in the penseive in book five provided us with a possible explanation for why Severus joined Voldemort. Also, I had writer's block on my other fic and this just wrote itself! This is just my explanation, it fits with the books so far and there are slight spoilers for book five, but they're not huge!
The setting is at first at the end of book five when Draco and Harry are fighting in the Entrance Hall, I found that scene unbelievably sad and my heart really went out to Draco.
The story moves back in time after that starting with Severus' fifth year, it's the summer term after the shrieking shack incident and about a week after the incident we saw in the penseive.
I hope you all like this, I did involve Narcissa and Lucius but really they could represent anyone, I tried to show a more human side to the deatheaters. People aren't born evil. Hence the title. It comes from a war poem called 'To Germany' by Charles Hamilton Sorley, it's a beautiful poem and the line seemed to fit. The part it's taken from is:
"And in each other's dearest ways we stand
And hiss and hate and the blind fight the blind."
We are all born innocent, people aren't born bad they're made that way often by things beyond their control, so underneath we're all the same. All blind to everything but our own deeply held beliefs, well the people are in this fic anyway. Really I was just trying to get this idea out of my head because it refused to go away so here it is!
Again I say this is entirely unrelated to 'I Built My Life Around You' and 'Wedding Bells Just Turned to Rust' and 'Turning Point'. It stands alone, in it's own little universe and Narcissa and Lucius are completely different people in this story to how they are in Wedding Bells.
Now, enjoy! (If anyone actually didn't give in at the sight of the long author's notes!)
************************************************************************
"What are you doing Potter?" Severus Snape snapped coldly, emerging from a staircase into the entrance hall to see Potter pull his wand on Draco Malfoy.
"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry replied, as usual showing little respect for his potions master.
"Put that wand away, ten points from Gryff-" Snape glanced across at the hour-glasses and sneered. "Ah I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case Potter, we will simply have to-"
"Add some more?" Snape was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, newly returned from St. Mungo's.
"Professor McGonagall!" he strode towards her, irritated by her interruption but oddly relieved to see she was alright. "Out of St. Mungo's I see!"
"Yes, Professor Snape, I'm quite as good as new. You two - Crabbe - Goyle - Here, take these up to my office for me," she handed them her cloak and travelling bag. She then proceeded to top up Gryffindor's points before suggesting that Harry and Draco should be outside enjoying the sunshine. Severus however was not listening, the animosity he had witnessed in the on the boys' faces and the way in which both eerily resembled their fathers brought to Severus' mind the events of years past
*******
Severus had once again found himself cornered in an empty corridor by Potter and Black and their friends. Words had been said, curses had flown and Severus was trying to hold his own against both of them at once.
"What do you lot think you're doing?" their fight was interrupted by the sound of the head boy's quiet, silky drawl.
"Looks like they're causing trouble to me," a blond girl stood behind him with a distinctly mocking expression on her face, "Hey, as head boy isn't it your job to break these things up?"
"You know, I was rather under the impression that it was," the handsome head boy smirked at his girlfriend.
"Sod off Malfoy, what do you care about this little runt?" James Potter snapped, sick of having his fun interrupted.
"This 'little runt' as you so ineloquently put it is a Slytherin, that makes him our concern," Narcissa addressed her remarks to them but glanced meaningfully at her boyfriend as she said the last part.
"I don't need your help!" Snape all but spat at the older students.
The fifth year Gryffindors expected the head boy and his girlfriend to react badly to this; but they didn't, they looked at each other with sympathy in their eyes.
"I'm sure you're quite capable of handling this without our help..." Lucius began with respect in his voice.
"The thing is," Narcissa interrupted him, "We'd rather enjoy helping you, if you'll let us?"
"Why would you want to help me?" he asked scornfully.
"I've never liked those who are so cowardly they only feel able to confront someone when they outnumber them," Narcissa gave a smirk identical to her boyfriend's.
Snape was still standing with his wand ready and aimed at James but his attention had been grabbed by the young couple. Suddenly James cried out and they noticed that he was levitated several feet from the floor and had slammed into the wall which he now appeared to be attached to, "And now you're attacking people when their backs are turned? You really are pathetic Potter!" Lucius sneered.
Sirius raised his wand only to find it flying from his hand and into Narcissa's. "Have to be faster than that fly-boy!" she taunted her surprised looking cousin.
Remus looked torn between drawing his own wand and trying to calm everyone down. Peter looked tempted to put his tail between his legs and run for it. Sirius ran at Narcissa, going to get his wand back, and found himself thrown back not by Lucius, who looked horrified at the attempted assault on his girlfriend, but by Severus who had sent him flying with a flick of his wand.
"Ok, you guys stop this. It's not worth it!" Remus put a hand on James' arm, bringing his wand down towards the floor whereas it had previously been pointed at Snape. Lucius had let James drop the instant he had seen Narcissa under attack.
James shook Remus off and brought his wand up but Narcissa instantly sent a rather unpleasant hex in his direction which caused him to sprout fur all over his face and hands.
"Evans's never gonna date you now!" Narcissa laughed mockingly.
"Narcissa Black!" an angry voice broke across their fight, "What exactly do you think you're doing!?"
"I'm dead!" Narcissa muttered and turned slowly around to face a lived Professor McGonagall.
"Come with me right now!" she snapped and flicked her wand at James so that he returned to normal, "Are you alright James?"
He nodded but didn't have time to reply as McGonagall turned to Lucius, "And what were you doing? You're the head boy for goodness sake, you don't allow people to hex younger students just because you're dating them!"
"It wasn't his fault!" Narcissa piped up, "He was trying to stop me!"
"No he wasn't!" Sirius snapped at the blonde girl.
"Yes he was," Severus said calmly.
Narcissa glanced across at Severus and winked at him from behind McGonagall's back.
"I don't want to hear it!" McGonagall snapped, "Now come with me Narcissa, prefects should not behave this!"
She marched off with Narcissa dawdling behind, hitting Peter across the head as she went.
Lucius glanced across at Severus and sighed, "That girl doesn't know how to stay out of trouble."
"I don't need your help or anyone else's!" Severus snapped before sweeping away in the opposite direction to Narcissa and the transfigurations professor.
"Yeah, run away Snivellus, can't defend yourself without a girl to watch your back I suppose!" James taunted.
"You know I think my girlfriend had the right idea!" Lucius said as Snape turned looking furious. "Shall we?" he glanced at Severus who understood and raised his wand at the same time as Lucius. Their respective curses hit James and Sirius at almost the same second. The two boys brought their hands up to their faces as fur sprouted from their skin.
"Nice shot Severus, have a nice day you lot." Lucius gestured in front of him and Severus warily walked away with Lucius following, leaving Remus and Peter to escort their friends to the hospital wing.
*******
"Two weeks worth of detentions!" Narcissa burst into the Slytherin common room all but foaming at the mouth. "Can you believe it?!"
Lucius came forward and slipped an arm around his girlfriend, "Never mind Narcie, it could have been worse."
"Easy for you to say!" she snapped, "And don't call me Narcie, it sounds ridiculous!"
Lucius smirked as she threw his arm off. "You know you adore me really," he drawled.
"In your dreams Malfoy!"
"Oh dear," he said to Snape, "I only get Malfoy when she's really angry!"
"Too right I'm angry! I'll never be head girl next year you know!"
"I'm sorry you got into trouble," Severus said in a cold voice that suggested he couldn't care less, "But I can handle myself. In future perhaps you'd both do better to mind your own business."
The common room held a collective breath as Lucius and Narcissa turned to look at Severus who simply glared at them and then made his way over to his dormitory. Lucius looked about to say something but Narcissa elbowed him viciously in the side and Severus was allowed to pass unmolested.
"He could at least be grateful!" Lucius muttered to Narcissa.
"Of course he's not grateful you daft fool!" Narcissa snapped.
"Why?"
She sighed, "No wonder people say I'm the brains of this relationship!"
"No they don't! Now what is it?"
Narcissa shot a meaningful look at those Slytherins who were still staring at the pair and they quickly looked away, deciding that the wrath of Narcissa was not something they wanted on their heads!
Narcissa drew her boyfriend over to a corner and sat down next to him, "Luc, he wants someone to stand up for him but he doesn't want people to know that he wants that."
"Why not? I don't understand."
"It's a sign of weakness in his eyes. Look I think the kid's pretty messed up, give him time and he'll come around."
"So what do we do in the meantime?"
"Keep defending him."
"Whatever you say," Lucius said leaning in to kiss his girlfriend.
Narcissa pushed him away, "I'm still angry with you!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm never going to get to be head girl!"
"That's hardly my fault!"
"Well I didn't see you taking the blame!"
"Didn't you explain to McGonagall that they started it?"
"No, I didn't want to embarrass Severus, besides she wouldn't have believed me."
"You're right, we can handle this ourselves. Have you thought anymore about what happened this summer?"
"Yes."
"And?" Lucius pressed.
"I think it's a good move. Maybe we should think about introducing Severus to the Dark Lord, he's a very bright student, could make a brilliant ally, and he needs someone powerful to fight his corner. I'm sick of watching them treat him like that!"
"You're right."
"As always!"
"Yeah whatever, goodnight Narcissa." Lucius got up from the chair and headed for his dormitory.
"Goodnight."
*******
Up in his dormitory Severus Snape was sat alone on his bed, his knees bunched up to his chest with his head resting on them. He didn't understand what had happened. The day had started like any other and now? Now his world felt oddly unfamiliar. He didn't understand why Narcissa and Lucius had stepped in, the two of them were good looking and popular and though they stood up for the Slytherin first years and their own friends when they needed it they weren't exactly known for sticking up for the underdog, even though Severus had to admit they were never as cruel as Potter and Black's little group seemed to take pleasure in being. His first assumption had been that they wanted something but they hadn't asked him for anything in return...yet.
He wondered if Narcissa had simply been using it as another opportunity to have a go at her cousin, who she seemed to deeply dislike, but then it had been Lucius who had stepped in first and he always acted as though he was above these 'petty squabbles' as he would normally have referred to them. Severus didn't like the unfamiliar, it scared him though he would never have admitted it and he dreaded Narcissa or Lucius deciding to call in the 'favour' he now undoubtedly owed them. Still it had been fun seeing those idiots get what they deserved, he'd had no idea that the two older Slytherins could be that formidable.
He settled down to sleep, he didn't want to go back down to the common room in case either of them objected to his lack of gratitude, not that he had anyone to talk to down there anyway.
*******
The next morning Severus was having breakfast, alone as usual, when Narcissa sat down next to him, "Hey, mind if I join you? Lucius has already eaten, he's too early a riser for me to have breakfast with him!"
"Sit where you want."
Narcissa didn't seem discouraged by his obvious lack of enthusiasm. "How are you this morning?"
"Fine."
"Anything interesting in the Daily Prophet?"
"I wouldn't know, I haven't read it."
"So what's your first lesson today?"
"Charms."
"I've got DADA."
"Fascinating!"
"You want me to go away and be quiet don't you?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
She smirked, "I can't imagine!"
They spent the rest of the meal in silence with Severus leaving as soon as he got the chance.
*******
"How'd this morning go?" Lucius asked, meeting his girlfriend who was on her way back from Herbology.
"Not well, he didn't seem exactly overjoyed to see me!"
"Who wouldn't be overjoyed to see you?"
"Severus Snape apparently!"
"My, my, we've finally found a boy you're not related to who you can't twist round your little finger!"
"I know, it's quite disturbing really!"
They both laughed and Lucius slipped an arm round her waist, hoping she'd forgotten she was mad with him. She didn't throw him off.
"I think you should talk to him," she said suddenly.
"Me?"
"Yes, I think I might be intimidating him, plus there's my somewhat unsavoury Gryffindor cousin!"
"Don't you think I'd intimidate him more than you do?"
"No. Girls don't talk to him other than to mock him. How many pretty, older girls willingly sit down and talk to him when they're not trying to get him to do their potions homework? I think you've got a better chance of getting him to talk to you."
"Alright I'll give it a try."
"You know personally, I don't think he's half bad, I don't see why the other girls don't see it. He's got that whole dark and brooding thing! I like it, in fact if I wasn't stuck with you..."
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence!"
She laughed and pulled away from him, "Well, I think he'd be quite attractive if he didn't look so malnourished, not conventionally attractive but attractive nonetheless."
"Oh so that's what this is about, you want to play mother to the poor undernourished fifth year, you'll be feeding him chicken soup next!"
"Oh don't be daft, I just like the guy and I hate the way they treat him. Besides it was you who stepped in yesterday!"
"I had to, he was outnumbered. Besides I feel pretty bad for him myself, from what I hear his home life isn't great either!"
"Really?"
"No, well that's what I've heard. I think his father's a bit of a bastard."
"Reminds me of yours!"
Lucius laughed humourlessly, "Yes, I can see why."
"Oh lord, they're at it again!"
Lucius turned to see the Gryffindors hex Severus as they walked him. He ran across and muttered the counter curse, helping the younger boy to his feet. Severus instantly shook him off and walked away, ignoring the head boy entirely.
Narcissa caught up with him and he turned to her and rolled his eyes.
"I didn't say it would be easy!" she said, shrugging as her boyfriend let out an exasperated sigh.
*******
Severus was eating dinner alone amongst the first years, who were looking terrified of him, so he wouldn't have Narcissa sitting next to him again. After Lucius' latest display he was getting seriously worried as to what the two of them might be after from him. They were both quite capable of doing their own potions work so unless they wanted some sort of illegal potion making for them he had no idea what could be motivating them to be nice to him.
He suddenly heard a squeal from across the hall. It was the Evans girl who'd tried to defend him the other week; he glared at her. She leapt from her seat and began to berate James who was sat opposite her. Severus frowned, unable to work out what was going on but he did work out that James seemed to have about as much idea of what the girl was yelling for as Severus himself did.
Suddenly he felt a presence behind him and a quiet voice said, "Dead cockroach in her soup, that kind of prank has James Potter written all over it, remember how he did it to that Hufflepuff the other day?"
It was Lucius Malfoy, who was looking decidedly pleased with himself.
"You did it." Severus was deeply confused.
"Of course, Potter wouldn't want to upset Evans, he has to stay on her good side if he has any chance of persuading her to go out with him and he hasn't been doing too well on that front recently!"
"Why did you do it?"
"Why do you think? Revenge."
"For what?"
"Him hexing you. I used a simple switching spell, switched a piece of vegetable for the cockroach and it was worth it just to hear her scream like that!" Lucius laughed and walked away, taking Narcissa's hand and leading her out of the great hall before she broke a rib through trying not to have a fit of hysterics.
Now Severus was seriously confused, why did they want to help him?
*******
Severus had several days respite from the pair's rescue attempts while Lucius finished his NEWTs and was busy studying. Narcissa and Lucius continued to try to make conversation and he continued to answer their attempts in monosyllables. He had expected them to give up or to get violent with him but they did neither, simply continuing to be friendly and civil whenever they saw him.
Severus had heard a lot of rumours about both their families, Narcissa's eldest sister was supposedly one of Voldemort's followers, the Blacks were meant to be up to their eyeballs in the Dark Arts but Narcissa seemed keen on presenting a respectable image most of the time.
The Malfoys always presented a respectable front to the world but Severus had heard mutterings at home which suggested that their family fortune had been accumulated by many generations of decidedly unpleasant people making advantageous alliances regardless of who they had to make the alliances with. Mercenary was the word he thought his father had used, but then his father always claimed that they were better than everyone else anyway and that normally meant running everyone else down. Lucius was capable of being just as arrogant as Potter but he didn't seem to try so hard, you could tell when Potter was trying to impress someone, if Lucius had been in Potter's shoes Lily Evans would have fallen at his feet years ago, everything came far too easily to the arrogant young man. At the same time though he was proving difficult to dislike, after five years of being persecuted and ignored Severus was wary of any attention but he also welcomed it. Narcissa and Lucius were always friendly and kind though Severus did not trust either of them, he couldn't understand their motivation and that still worried him.
It was nearing the end of the year and he was not looking forward to going home, he realised that he would almost miss Lucius when he returned to Hogwarts the next year. Narcissa would still be there but without her boyfriend he assumed she'd just go back to the large group of Slytherin girls all dying to be her friends. Lucius appeared to have breezed through his NEWTs and he and Narcissa were discussing the summer rather secretively but they still found time to speak to him. He was sat alone in the common room on the last night of the summer term, unable to sleep, when Lucius came in from a last patrol of the dungeon corridors to check there were no students up after hours.
"Hello Severus, you still up?"
"Yes, I was just going to go up to bed actually."
"Oh, I was going to have a hot chocolate, won't you join me? Narcissa's gone to bed and I won't sleep for hours yet."
"Alright," Severus answered warily, regretting that his wand was in his dormitory.
Lucius conjured two mugs of steaming hot chocolate and passed one to Severus. "Looking forward to going home tomorrow?"
"Not particularly."
"Me neither."
There was something in Lucius' quiet tone which prompted Severus to ask, against his better judgement, "Why?"
"I'm going to miss this place and I guess I have to sort out what I'm going to do with my life and that's quite intimidating."
"I just assumed you'd live off the family fortune or something," Severus said snidely, it was no secret in Slytherin that Lucius didn't like getting his hands dirty and only grudgingly settled down to work.
"No, I've got plans for the future. There's so much wrong with our world."
"And you think you're the one to put it right?" Severus sneered.
"No, but I think I've met someone who can."
"Who?"
Lucius frowned slightly as though making a difficult decision then he said with utmost calmness, "His followers call him the Dark Lord, there are few who will speak his name."
"He-who-must-not-be-named. You are ambitious. Or is the little woman pressurising you into the family business?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well I was under the distinct impression that that's what Narcissa's sister was involved with."
"You sound disapproving."
"Not necessarily, but I wouldn't just support someone for the sake of it because I needed something to do."
Lucius gave a calculating smile, "You should meet him, I think he'd like you."
"I doubt it, few people do."
"Narcissa and I do."
"Lucius, why did you defend me that day? Why are you and her being nice to me? Do you want something?"
"Bloody hell, and Narcissa says I'm paranoid!"
"I just don't understand."
"Like I said, we like you and we empathised with your position."
"Oh yes because the king and queen of popularity would know exactly what it feels like to be me!" Severus spat.
"You might be surprised," Lucius replied calmly.
"I doubt it."
"People are different at school to how they are at home."
"I know," this was said with a bitterness that surprised Lucius and told him at once that the rumours had been right about Severus' home life not being what it should.
"Do you?" he asked, "I do." There was a pause before Lucius continued, "My father's a bastard! My mother couldn't give a damn either, he used to curse me when he was angry or drunk, and he's always drunk! Then one day last summer I took control."
"What did you do?"
"I hit him over the head with an antique vase, one of my mother's favourites actually," this last part was said with undisguised glee, "It knocked him out and he hasn't dared to do anything to me since, particularly as he knows that now I can return any magic he sends at me without having the ministry down on my head."
"That's terrible."
"Yeah well, he had it coming to him."
"I mean the way he treated you and more so the fact your mother didn't care! At least my mum gives a damn, even if she is too scared to do anything."
"What do you mean?" Lucius pushed gently not wanting to pressurise Severus but curious as to his story.
"My father knocks her about, he's hit me a few times, he doesn't use magic. I remember her when I was young, she was always smiling and laughing, now she just cowers when anyone comes into a room and jumps at small noises. It's pathetic what he was able to reduce her to."
"Well you can either let these things destroy you or you can draw strength from them, I know what I'm going to do. What about you? What will you do when you leave here?"
"I don't know, get out of that house I suppose would be top of the list."
"Good idea. Think about what I said about meeting the Dark Lord, I think you'd find him quite different to what you expect."
"You've met him then?"
"Last summer, Narcissa and I persuaded Bellatrix to get us an audience with him, Severus he can help you, he can help this world! I believe in him."
The fervour in Lucius' voice piqued Severus' curiosity, "What's he like?"
"Powerful, intelligent, understanding. That was the best part of it, he makes you feel like he understands you. You know he didn't give me the specifics of his childhood but he was raised in a muggle orphanage. He's like you or me, he's worked his way through a traumatic childhood to make something of his life. The options are him or Dumbledore, the ministry is irrelevant. And then we have to ask the question of what has Dumbledore ever done for anyone in this house?"
"True, he treats those Gryffindors like they're bloody perfect, he thinks anything they do is just a well meant joke! He lets them get away with murder almost literally!"
"Precisely!"
"I'll think about it, but I've got two more years here, I don't know what I'll do yet."
"I glad you've said that, this is your decision and it's a big one so give it some serious consideration."
"I will."
"Are you sitting with anyone in particular on the train tomorrow?"
"No, I usually sit alone."
"Well, we shall have to rectify that. You should sit with Narcissa and I and some of our friends."
"Thank you but I wouldn't want to intrude."
"You wouldn't be, don't argue!"
Severus smiled slightly and said goodnight to his friend, yes he thought friend was the right word for Lucius. The things the older boy had said had made so much sense and he went to sleep that night feeling for the first time in ages that there was hope in his future.
*******
Severus' summer was long and much of it was composed of things he wanted to forget but which he felt would be forever etched on his mind. Narcissa and Lucius wrote to him constantly, they even asked him to come and stay once but he knew his father would never allow him to go. He returned to school on September first feeling a lot less hopeful than he had at the beginning of the summer, but he had not forgotten his conversation with Lucius.
He arrived on the platform alone and rather early as usual, that way he could ensure he got a carriage alone. He was dragging his trunk across the platform when he heard a familiar voice and whirled to face it, "Hiya Snivellus, good summer? I see you still haven't discovered shampoo!"
Potter. And Black was stood right behind him, brilliant. He chose to ignore them, thinking that they could hardly do anything with Potter's parents there. It was then he felt the other end of the trunk lift, he looked up in surprise and concern and saw Narcissa holding the other end of it. "Hiya Sirius, I see you found another pureblood family to join and bring shame on." She smiled sweetly at her cousin but Severus knew her well enough to know that the smile was reserved for people she disliked in situations where she had to appear to be nice to them.
Severus lifted a questioning eyebrow. Narcissa smiled at him, "Did I forget to tell you, my dear cousin ran away from home the day after his seventeenth birthday!"
Severus snorted with laughter; "I'm surprised your family didn't throw him out before then!"
"Me too! Come on let's get a carriage! Lucius!"
Severus was surprised to see Lucius Malfoy come across levitating Narcissa's trunk.
"Don't worry I didn't fail my NEWTs I'm just here to see you off!" he laughed at Severus' expression.
"Thank God for that!" James said rather loudly.
"You might want to be careful," Lucius said in a silky voice, turning to face them, "I'm a fully qualified wizard and you two don't even come close!"
Sirius looked ready for a fight but Narcissa placed a hand on her boyfriend's arm and said, "Don't waste your breath on him, he's no one." She sneered unpleasantly at James' parents who looked about ready to step in and defend their son and his friend.
Lucius smirked and the three of them lifted the two trunks into a nearby carriage.
"So did you get made head girl?" Severus asked.
"No. Predictably enough! I think some Ravenclaw got it, it's no big deal I guess!"
They had a fun time on the train with a small group of other people Severus had spoken with on the train home the previous year. He glanced round the carriage, they were all Slytherins; Rudolphus Lestrange, now a seventh year for the second time as he had managed to fail one of his NEWTs rather spectacularly, he was rumoured to one day be Narcissa's brother-in-law if his involvement with her eldest sister was anything to go by. A fellow sixth year, Evan Rosier; known for fighting and never backing down from anything. Constance Wilkes, another seventh year and a good friend of Narcissa's along with Kristina Hemlock. These were the members of Narcissa and Lucius' inner circle, now Narcissa's inner circle Severus assumed and he felt oddly proud to be sat with them.
As the autumn term wore on Narcissa and Severus spent more time together, she was bearing up well but it became clear that she missed her boyfriend a good deal. Severus thought there might be something else but he couldn't work out what it was until he came downstairs one night to retrieve an essay he had left in the common room and found Narcissa sat staring at the dying embers in the fireplace.
"Hi, what are you doing still up?"
She jumped and turned to him. "Oh Severus you gave me a fright!"
"Is something wrong?" he asked sitting down across from her.
"No," she smiled strangely, "Quite the reverse, I assure you."
He raised an eyebrow and she answered his unspoken question, "Lucius is taking the mark tonight."
The mark? Oh. "I see."
She smiled, "It's such an honour Severus and he seemed awfully pleased when he last wrote. He couldn't say much, obviously, in case the letter was read by anyone else but he sounded pretty excited."
"Will you take the mark when you leave here?"
"I don't know, I get the impression Lucius doesn't want me to. He seems to be worried I'll get hurt, really if Bellatrix can take care of herself I think I can manage too!"
"Didn't you say your sister was a little mad and that even you wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley?"
Narcissa laughed, "Yes I did and I meant it. All I heard all summer was the Dark Lord this and the Dark Lord that! I mean it's interesting at first but she doesn't half get on my nerves after a while. And with Andromeda gone she's the only one to talk to!"
"Andromeda?"
"My other sister, she's older than me but younger than Bellatrix, she's a disgrace. Married some muggle a couple of years ago!"
"Why?!"
"She's a traitor to her bloodline just like my idiotic cousin, though at least he had the sense to go to another pureblood family! I mean a Mudblood would be one thing but an actual muggle?!" Narcissa shuddered, "I always knew there was something wrong with her!"
"Are you worried about Lucius?"
"A little," she admitted, "I don't want him to get hurt either!"
The rest of the year passed in much the same way with Narcissa keeping their select group updated on Lucius' adventures as a fully fledged deatheater and Rudolphus looking decidedly envious and continuously damning his parents for insisting he remain another year and re-sit the DADA exam. The Gryffindors were as bad as ever but now Severus had a group of friends to defend him he found it all more bearable. He remained in school that Christmas with Evan and with Kristine who had stayed in an attempt to get the attention of a Ravenclaw seventh year by the name of Nott. Severus had been invited to spend Christmas with Narcissa but he refused knowing that his parents would insist that if he left Hogwarts it would be to come home so he pleaded a heavy workload and stayed at school.
The year passed very quickly for him and he was soon preparing to go home again. Narcissa was itching to see Lucius again and was driving them all mad with talk of her heroic boyfriend.
Severus and Evan Rosier were the only ones who would be returning for the next school year and had spent much of the last couple of months tormenting the others who had been sitting their NEWTs.
Lucius was waiting on the platform with a smile on his face and a copy of the Daily Prophet in his hand. He embraced Narcissa and then pushed the newspaper into her hands; they all crowded around. It was open at the obituaries, Lucius' father was dead, heart attack blamed on alcohol. The smirk on Lucius' face said it all, he wasn't sorry, he was relieved and Severus couldn't help but return his smile as all the others but Narcissa offered their commiserations.
*******
Narcissa and Lucius married that summer and Severus spent the last week of the holidays staying with them in Malfoy Manor where they had moved in due to Lucius' mother having moved to a smaller house upon her husband's death.
Two days before he was due back in school Lucius asked him to have a drink with him late in the evening after Narcissa had gone to bed.
"We've hardly had a chance to speak, I've been so busy. Sorry if I've been a bad host."
"You haven't. How are things going with..." he trailed off and gestured at Lucius' arm where he knew the dark mark was concealed.
"Excellently. In fact that's what I wanted to talk to you, he's expressed quite an interest in seeing you, he's very impressed with what he's heard of you."
"I doubt I could impress him!"
"Of course you could, you don't give yourself enough credit Severus. What do you say, will you meet with him?"
"Yes," Severus hadn't even known that he would consent to the meeting until the word was out of his mouth and irretractable, not that he would have wanted to retract it.
Lucius smiled, "Good, how does Christmas sound to you?"
"Fine."
"Come and spend Christmas with us and I'll take you to meet him. Oh and don't mention it to Evan, it's just you he wants to meet at the moment?"
"Just me?" Severus said, unable to keep the astonished pride from creeping into his voice.
Lucius smiled again and nodded.
*******
Christmas came astonishingly fast for Severus and he soon found himself being met by the Malfoys off the Hogwart's Express. Narcissa spent the journey to the manor catching him up on all the news, Rudolphus and Bellatrix were engaged and Khristina Hemlock had finally got the Ravenclaw she'd been after. Also Narcissa's other sister had had a daughter but Narcissa only mentioned that briefly before hurrying on to tell Severus about what Lucius had been up to with the other deatheaters.
It was not until that evening that he began to feel nervous while waiting for Lucius to say that it was time to go. Eventually they were leaving, taking a portkey to who knew where and Narcissa was telling him that he'd do just fine and not to worry.
They arrived in a small room and Lucius gestured Severus through one of the two doors that led out of the room in opposite directions, he stepped into a much larger room where a lone figure, hooded and robed, stood at a window staring out across the surrounding fields.
"My Lord," Lucius bowed as the figure turned and Severus followed suit after a brief hesitation.
"Lucius," the voice was low and almost snakelike, like hearing someone speak in parseltongue Severus thought, only you can understand it.
"My Lord I have brought Severus Snape to see you as promised."
The figure stepped forward and past Lucius to where Severus was stood. "Severus, we meet at last, I have heard much of you from Lucius and Narcissa."
"Oh?"
"Yes, apparently you're quite the potions master."
"I'm not bad."
"Come don't be modest, Lucius is hardly one for exaggerating other people's talents." He turned to Lucius, "Leave us, there are refreshments in the other room, help yourself."
Lucius bowed and left, giving Severus an encouraging smile.
"Do you know why you are here, Severus Snape?"
"No."
"You are here because I am gathering about me the best that your generation has to offer, and from what I hear you are the best yet you remain unappreciated. Tell me, why is that?"
"I beg your pardon but I am not the best."
"Oh but you are, your potions skills rival those of some of the masters of our age. As for your OWL results they were most impressive, particularly in Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts, a subject you are fond of I believe?"
"Yes."
"You have talents that need only encouragement to enable you to achieve your full potential, you could be great Severus. And yet you have struggled against adversity in your life. Your father..."
"What about him," Severus was surprised at his own daring, interrupting the Dark Lord in mid-speech.
The Dark Lord did not seem angry though, "You clearly feel strongly on that subject, Lucius did as well when it came to his father..."
He left the comment hanging and Severus wondered for a moment what he meant, was he implying that Lucius' father's death had been no accident?
"My father too," the Dark Lord continued, "Was less than satisfactory, he left my mother to die and myself to be raised in a muggle orphanage. Fathers should not behave like that."
"No, they shouldn't."
"How was your mother when you last saw her?"
The question surprised Severus, "She was fine, thank you."
"Really? I had heard your father had nearly hospitalised her this time."
Severus was shocked, he had not even told Lucius or Narcissa about that. "How did you know?"
"I have my ways. Your mother recovered remarkably quickly though thanks to your potions abilities. This world is under the control of men like your father and fools like Dumbledore who seek the pollution of our bloodlines. We must remain strong and the only way to survive is to fight. "
"Fight who?"
"The ministry, Dumbledore, all who would oppose us. We are the future Severus, things will change and they will change for the better, I will make sure of it. I would like it very much if you were to stand with us when the time came."
"You mean become a deatheater, like Lucius?"
"Yes, though not exactly like Lucius, you both have different areas of expertise and your potions skills and knowledge would certainly be invaluable to me. Why my very success could depend on your support or lack there of. But do not make decisions in haste, think on it and we will meet again once you have graduated. Now, I must leave but before you go take this as a gift."
Severus took the large book the man had conjured from thin air, it was a book of dark curses.
"I think James Potter and his friends should cause you some entertainment with the aid of this book."
"Thank you, my lord," Severus said quietly.
The figure swept from the room and Lucius came back in, "Did it go well?" he asked eagerly.
"I think so."
Lucius beamed, "Good, now come back to the manor, I'm sure Narcissa will have waited up for us, she'll want to hear all about it.
*******
Christmas with the newly wed Malfoys was wonderful and Severus returned to school in high spirits. The rest of the year flew by so fast he hardly had time to bother with Potter and his friends, it was strange how their pranks suddenly seemed so insignificant. You can't hurt me anymore, he thought. Though he still managed to find the time to try out a couple of the tamer curses in the Dark Lord's book.
Graduation came round and soon Severus was waking up at Hogwarts for the last time, he could not say he would miss the place, much of his time spent there had been wasted in misery and fear, he was glad to be leaving. He had decided not to return to his parent's house and Narcissa had offered him a home until he had set up somewhere for himself. She and Lucius had attended his graduating ceremony but his parents had not, his mother sending her apologies and pleading sickness. He had noticed that Narcissa had gone out of her way to ignore her cousin, merely sneering in his general direction now and again. It appeared that Sirius Black would never be welcomed back into the arms of his family.
Severus had long ago decided to take the mark and as it burnt into his skin that night he looked up into the face of the Dark Lord and knew he had made the right decision. Things were going to get better.
*******
Of course, things had got better for a time, but it had not taken long for Severus' conscience to begin to prick. Lucius would regale Narcissa with tales of daring but all Severus could ever recall was slaughter, of course he was more often shut away fascinated by the potions he was asked to create. It was not very often that he wondered what those potions were used for. Eventually he had been able to stand it no longer and he had returned to the one man in whom he had seen the power to help him, he just hadn't been sure if the man had got the inclination. As it turned out he had, though perhaps only because Severus had been useful. No, he thought, it wasn't just because I was useful, it was because he wanted to help, could have helped before if I'd only seen it and he hadn't spent so long worrying about his precious Gryffindors.
The years after that had been long and difficult, only his wide knowledge of Occlumency had kept him alive and undiscovered in his role as a spy. He had never thought of himself as a spy for the light, he had begun to feel that the Dark Lord's name was not correct, his great talent seemed to be illumination of the differences and flaws in people. Severus had always connected dark with comfort, the cool dark of the Slytherin dungeons and the potions labs, it had not taken long to realise that there was none of darkness's comfort in the 'Dark Lord'. No, he was pure light, harsh and blinding.
But even he had fallen, proving that none were invincible, not that Severus had ever doubted his return. The prophecy he had tried to destroy still remained unfulfilled. Severus frowned as he watched the son of his adolescent enemy walk away and outside into the harsh sunlight.
He looked across at Draco, his Godson though few knew it. He saw the pain that lay under the fury directed at Potter. "Are you alright?" It seemed inadequate really, how was the boy supposed to be, even McGonagall hadn't had the heart to tell him off as she undoubtedly was Crabbe and Goyle.
"Yes. Everything will be alright sir, the darkest hours are just before the dawn. My father will not be so easily defeated."
The boy walked away leaving Severus wishing he could say more, reach out to the boy, stop him from repeating his father's mistakes, stop him from allowing a childish argument to escalate into something so much worse. But he could not, that would give him away, and saving one person simply was not worth it, he had a job to do which was more important, he just wished that there was some way of saving the boy as well.
No, Lucius wouldn't be so easily defeated and part of him longed to hear that the man had escaped, it had pained him deeply to hear Umbridge say that Lucius spoke highly of him, he had betrayed the only people who had defended him and wanted nothing from it. But his choice was made and his path was set, this time it truly was the right choice. Narcissa and Lucius had made their own choices, he just wished he didn't remember the things about them that made them human, the way they bickered at school, the way Lucius had swept her off her feet and carried her across the threshold of their manor...the way they had defended him when no one else wanted anything to do with him. He shook his head, it was no use living in the past, it was too late to change any of it. He just prayed that in Draco's future he wouldn't see the past repeat itself.
*******
What do you think? Let me know because this idea refused to go away until it was written about so I'd really love to hear what people think about it!
Now about the extra people in Slytherin:
Evan Rosier - Real deatheater who was at school with Sev, went down fighting Moody in the first war.
Rudolphus Lestrange - Again, real deatheater and Sirius says he was part of the gang Severus hung out with. I held him back a year so that he wouldn't seem too young for Bellatrix who is Narcissa's eldest sister.
Khristina Hemlock - my character but the Ravenclaw she's after isn't. Nott is another real and still living Death Eater, their son is called Theodore and in Slytherin in Draco's year. I took the liberty of making Nott a Ravenclaw as not all deatheaters and their spouses can have come from Slytherin! Hemlock is a deadly poison, in fact Socrates was sentenced to death by a drink of Hemlock.
Constance Wilkes - Wilkes is a real deatheater who died in the first war, I took the liberty of give them a first name and gender as the book doesn't say. I felt we needed more women deatheaters.
All these people (except Khistina) are mentioned by Sirius as being people in the group of Slytherins which included Severus who nearly all became Death Eaters. I don't think Lucius and Severus were at school together but he and Narcissa were simply meant to represent anyone well meaning but misguided where the dark Lord was concerned.
Please review, I really want to know what people think of this!