Bittersweet

buddy

How to say "I love you" to the one person who will never love you back is always so bittersweet. For years, years he had chased him, for what? To be left broken, over and over again. Naruto slammed his fist onto the arm of his chair; this wasn't how this was supposed to happen! That stupid teme, sometimes Naruto just wished he could hate him. But it never worked out that way.
So now here he sat, staring into cold black eyes, which stared right back. Unseeing. Naruto sighed, why, why was he the one to always suffer? This, this, he looked at the body that lay before him and closed his eyes, was just cruelty. His stomach clenched painfully.

He couldn't look up at that face anymore, so he looked down, at the marble tiles below. Naruto closed his eyes and willed those horrid moments away, he could still hear the screams, and the cries of fear. He could still feel the terror, the malice, the pain coming from the room. He could still see, and oh he didn't want to see, not anymore. Not after that.

He hadn't realized tears were cascading down his cheeks until a shaky hand tried to wipe them away and only ended smearing them further, leaving crimson trail on his face. Naruto forced himself to look up at that face, the one part untouched, and gently reached out too, running his fingers over chin, cheeks, lips, nose, eyelids, eyebrows and into the soft black hair at the top of his head.

The body jerked a little and those eyes glazed over as their owner made pain filled guttural noises before the body relaxed and he blinked, those eyes returned to normal, as normal as blind was, and the hand touching Naruto reached for his hand. Naruto gently caressed the hand within his own. He massaged the joints and resisted the urge to pop the thumb back into place.

Naruto felt the gentle pulse underneath his fingers. He had always loved the sound of his heartbeat, but now it just felt like a burden, a heavy weight that needed to be removed. Naruto only wished he could have walked away from all this. He didn't though, and now the regret set in, hurtful, lonely regret that could surely kill him. At least he wouldn't have to be alone.

But he was alone, now more so than ever. Naruto winced when the body before him dragged in a deep breath that shook the very bed. He was close, but then, Naruto thought to himself, how much closer can one be to death, especially one like this? Naruto took his time and looked over the body; it was covered with a sheet up to the very chin, but it did nothing to hide the dark stain creeping through the thin cotton. There was so much, so, so much of it, it was a wonder how there was anymore left.

Naruto slowly looked back toward that face that had haunted his dreams for years, more tears slipped out. This was it. He wouldn't get anymore chances after this; he knew that, he knew, even if he followed the teme into the clutches of hell, that this was it.

He watched those obsidian eyes grow dimmer more empty, more lifeless, and he cried out in pain, this wasn't fair. It was never fair. But now, after all he had done, to have the reward stripped from him, especially so harshly. The owner of those lifeless eyes seemed prepared to give up, but reached up a hand that shouldn't be moving and touched Naruto's cheek and before Naruto understood what was happening he was leaning over that body kissing those lips that held back the blood that surely filled that mouth, all his ribs but one were broken, or missing, and let out a sorrowful moan.

And just like that, one single kiss that had meant everything snuffed out his life, and Naruto's cries would be heard for hours on end, and be remembered for days and years, for life was cruel. Naruto wasn't supposed to be happy, he was supposed to suffer. Before he had left that room Naruto had closed his eyes, unseeing, smoothed his hair, so soft, and pulled a blanket over his head, the one place unscarred, and bid his final bittersweet goodbyes to the one person he would never have: Sasuke.