"And the laaaaand

of the

BraaaaaAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

The crowd flinched as the lizard finished her song. A few applauded, not because she sang well (she sang like a dying hyena), but because it was finally over. She bowed, as if everyone was going nuts for her, and stepped down off the stage.

"Alright, everyone, let's take an intermission!" Margaret called out to everyone.

Mordecai watched as Margaret-beautiful Margaret, in a green tank top, boot-cut jeans, and purple converse-returned to her boyfriend, Slasher. Disgusting, jerk-butt Slasher, in a almost non-existent black garment, torn jeans so tight they he should have been arrested, and black sneakers so dirty and worn that they were falling apart with every movement. Slasher didn't deserve Margaret. He was hideous, rude, and disgusting, while Margaret was beautiful, polite, and absolutely perfect. Of course, Slasher never acted this way TO Margaret, but he did it right in FRONT of her. Margaret always scolded him, yes, but why didn't she just dump him already?

"Hey, why the long face, dude?" Rigby asked his distraught friend. He followed Mordecai's gaze to Slasher and Margaret. Slasher was apparently telling her about 'this one time when he beat the snot out of a guy who bumped into him on a bus,' (a very gory, detailed story) and poor Margaret tried to nod and smile, but she was very obviously grimacing. Either Slasher didn't notice or he was ignoring her (which made Mordecai even angrier.) "Dude, if you don't like them dating, why don't you just say something?"

Mordecai gave his friend a that-is-one-of-the-stupidest-idea-I've-ever-heard-look. "What? You want me to walk up to her and say, 'Hey, Margaret, I don't like your boyfriend so please break up with him and date me instead'?"

"Alright, don't SAY it." Rigby smirked, and Mordecai knew he was about to have another crazy plan. "SING it."

OK, not totally crazy, but unexpected.

"What are you talking about?" Mordecai inquired.

"It's Open Mic Night, dude!" Rigby said, waving his arms out in front of him. "Chicks LOVE it when guys sing messaged songs to them!"

Mordecai's forehead furrowed. "How do you know?"

"The internet," Rigby said.

"Alright, do we have anyone else who wants to take the mic before we close up for the night?" All eyes returned to Margaret, who had the microphone up to her beak.

Rigby pushed Mordecai forward in the silence of the coffee shop. "Come on, dude."

"Alright, I'll do it." Mordecai said, approaching Margaret on the stage.

"Alright, Mordecai!" Margaret cheered, and handed him the phone.

Mordecai paused, not knowing what song to sing or what instrument to play. Behind him, he heard a 'pssst' sound directed at him. He turned, and saw Rigby holding up a black guitar pick with a red lightning bolt going down its middle. From their Future selves. Rigby tossed it to Mordecai, who just barely caught it.

Mordecai thought quickly. He knew what song to play, and picked up the closest instrument to him-a folk guitar. With a deep breath, he began to play.

(The song is "Longer by Dan Fogelburg. Due to some copyright agreements, I cannot include the actual lyrics. You can listen to it on YouTube under the code 'watch?v=ZheAS0bSZxw' I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG, DAN FOGELBURG DOES!)

Ok, so singing Dan Fogelburg's "Longer" was probably very cheesy and cliche, but Mordecai felt like it was the appropriate song to sing. After all, it really said what he wanted to say. The whole time he sang, he tried to avoid staring at Margaret, and to just focus on the back wall, but every now and then he would accidentally revert his gaze to the beautiful robin. And when he finally decided to just look at her like his mind was telling him to, he was glad he did. He had never seen Margaret so pleased in his life.

As the song ended, the entire cafe burst into applause. Their was even a standing ovation. Rigby gave Mordecai a thumbs-up.

"Oh, nice job."

Mordecai frowned as he hopped off the stage. Slasher, his jaw set in a killer frown and his eyes narrowed to almost-slits, was stepping towards him. The crowd parted around him like the Red Sea for Moses. He was clapping very slowly, like all cliche jerks do in the movies.

"That is quite possibly the most awesome...ly pathetic, cheapest, corniest song I have ever heard." Slasher went on, crossing his arms over his chest. "And I don't know HOW it could be possible, but the fact that YOU were singing it made it even worse! I'm pretty sure that I speak for everyone here when I say that we were applauding because it was over. Am I right?"

No response. From anyone.

"They're too disgusted to speak." Slasher went on. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm taking my girlfriend out of this blunderhole." The way he said 'my girlfriend', like he was referring to a dog or a motorcycle, made Mordecai sock him in the head and the gut at the same time. And the way he grabbed Margaret's wing, roughly and greedily...well, let's just say that if Rigby hadn't pulled him back, Slasher would probably be skinned alive.

"Hey, let go, jerk!" Margaret pulled her wing out of his grasp, which wasn't so hard considering the body feathers. "I don't know who you think you are, but no one talks to my friends like that and expects me to date them! Now get outta here before I call the cops!"

"No one says no to Slasher," Slasher said, and grabbed Margaret's wing so tight that the feathers beneath his palm crumpled.

WHAP!

'Ooohs!', 'Ohs!' and 'Yeahs!' rang throughout the cafe as Mordecai's wing collided with Slasher's jaw. Slasher fell to the floor.

Mordecai stared down at him. If looks could kill, Slasher would have been beyond dead. "She just did. NOW GET OUT!"

Before Slasher could protest, or take a swing back at him, he looked around him. The other customers of the restaurant were glaring. Some of them-the big, burly men with ripped-out muscles-cracked their muscles in warning while others-the pretty, slim women who loved Dan Fogelberg-had their purses ready to strike. The ones in between had their phones already on 9-1-1, only one click away from dialing.

Slasher ran away from that cafe, and that was the last that Mordecai or Margaret ever saw of him.

It calmed down after that. Some people went to get some refreshments, while others left. Rigby gave Mordecai another thumbs-up before running off to go talk to Eileen behind the counter.

Mordecai turned to Margaret. "Hey, sorry about-"

He was cutting off by Margaret pulling him into a hug. "Thanks, Mordecai. For everything."

Then, pausing to do a quick fist-pump, Mordecai hugged her back.

This is for CharlieHarperFan88, who sent this as a request. The song, "Longer" by Dan Folgeburg, IS NOT MINE! I DO NOT OWN IT! TOTALLY COPYRIGHTED!