Forever, And Then Some

Author's Note: Okay, this is a challenge that I found in a forum and I decided that I'd give it a go. It's post NFA and Spike has been human for 2 years.

Summary: Spike is still getting used to being human again and ever since the final battle Angel has been missing. Even though Angel has been gone all this time, he harbours a secret that soon comes out upon his return…

Chapter One: There's No Such Thing as a Happy Ending

Spike was alone, and was quickly learning that loneliness could kill a man. It could kill him now because he was a man. For almost two years now actually, since not long after the final battle. God, how he remembered that fateful day like it was only yesterday. It was the last time he saw Angel.

2004, the alley behind the Hyperion Hotel…

The battle was over, and Spike found himself using a dumpster to support his weight as he stood at the edge of the alley. His left leg was badly injured and he could barely walk on it, yet as he scanned the alley he felt more hurt inside that out. His heart, his soul; they ached as if something was terribly wrong with someone he cared deeply about. Angel. It had to be.

He began using the large dead bodies of the demons scattered in the alley to make his way around as he searched for Angel. After he found no signs of life after searching for what felt like hours, he had no choice but to give up. The sun was rising just above the tops of the buildings and casting rays into the alley. He didn't even see Gunn or Illyria, but knew that Gunn was dead anyway because he'd seen the young black man go down fighting hours ago. But Angel… he knew nothing.

If Angel is still here somewhere it will be too late, the sun will kill him. Spike feared. He scanned the alley again before moving inside the Hyperion Hotel. He watched from the glass double doors for anything that appeared to be burning up. Nothing.

Damn.

Six months later, the Hyperion Hotel…

Spike had been living in the hotel for several months, since the final battle. He hadn't seen Gunn, Illyria or Angel anywhere when the sun rose that day. He knew that they'd won, and in the damaged city of Los Angeles things were only just starting to get better now. Everything had been back up and running about three months ago, but with many difficulties. Spike had to be the hero of the city because it seemed that no one else was there to do it. When he was back up at full strength he patrolled the streets and the alleys and the parks, just as he did with Buffy back in Sunnydale.

Buffy. God, would he ever see her again? After everything that had happened… No. For some reason, he just knew it inside. She'd never know about him… And so, with that in mind, he made a decision. It wouldn't matter if Buffy ever knew he came back, as long as he kept doing what was right by the Powers that Be and by the good people of the world. He wouldn't go to find her in Italy or wherever else she'd gone off too, and he wouldn't try to find anybody he remembered. He'd live his own life, fighting for good and against evil, saving the innocent people of Los Angeles, in particular.

The "saving people" gave him closure and he felt like after everything he'd done and everyone he'd lost he was finally doing something right, and winning the age-old battle of good versus evil.

Then it happened. One stormy night in July only a year or so after the events that destroyed everything and everyone he ever knew. It was the night that changed his life.

July 2006, The Chaos Club, L.A…

Spike had been hunting and tracking a vampire for six blocks. He didn't feel as though he wanted to kill it though, it smelt strangely familiar to him. However, he couldn't put a name to the scent. Funny, you'd think that considering who it was, he would have been able to.

He watched it from the building tops and followed it as it followed somebody else into a nightclub called the Chaos Club. Inside, the music inside was so loud, and thumped into Spike's brain a jackhammer.

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things With a sense of poise and rationality

He lost sight of the vampire, and struggled to pick up its scent again inside with so many people. He saw a few people that looked similar, but as he tapped the shoulder of each man, he discovered nothing but a man for each one, no vampire. Surely he'd be able to tell where a vampire would be inside such a small place. But the music was really putting him off. The song changed and Spike found himself listening along and humming the tune once he'd picked it up. He still looked for the vampire, strolling through the crowd of people on the dance floor.

Suddenly he felt a searing pain up his spine that shot into the back of his brain. He clutched his head and doubled over in pain, screaming. Even though the music was so loud, it was a slow song with a soft start so people heard him and started to give him strange looks as he dropped to the floor. Some people were concerned while others just stood and stared thinking, what's his problem?

Within about a minute, the flashing disco lights were turned off and several bright white ceiling lights came on. The music stopped, and a small crowd of people gathered around Spike as he lay in the middle of the floor staring up at the ceiling and the faces staring down at him.

His back was aching, his head was aching, his stomach was aching and strangely, his feet and hands were tingling. He'd lost most of the sensation to his legs and arms within a few seconds of feeling tingles and at that point became a little worried.

What's going on here? He wondered, as he lay motionless in the middle of the crowd of people. He closed his eyes and lay there, not even feeling somebody lift up his wrist and feel for a pulse. Like he would have taken much notice of it anyway, he didn't have a pulse.

He heard muffled voices talking gibberish, as he lay there, dazed. He felt different, somehow, and managed to make out somebody calling for someone else to ring for an ambulance. As his eyes remained closed, he heard someone close-by yell loudly.

"He's got a pulse! Someone call an ambulance, now!"

What? Spike thought. A pulse? That's impossible. He heard the shuffling of feet along the floor and felt it vibrate a little beneath his head. He opened his eyes to see two blurry faces pop into the circle and he heard a voice speaking.

"Please stand back and give us some space." The ambulance officers, it had to be. Spike felt himself being lifted onto a stretcher and raised up before being wheeled off. He felt himself slipping… slipping… slipping… and he was out.

He woke several hours later, mid morning. He was lying in a white room; in a white bed; with a white curtain half drawn around the bed. The sun was shining through the window and directly onto his bed. Before it even registered that he should move out of the way, he realised that it wasn't harming him in any way.

"What's going on here?" He mumbled, holding his hand out in the sunlight and turning it over, and over, and over and over again. It didn't smoke; it didn't smoulder; it didn't burn and it certainly didn't catch on fire. Something was different about him. Then he remembered back to when he first arrived at Wolfram and Hart.

The Shanshu Prophecy. That explained everything. The vampire with a soul, who survives the coming apocalypse, shall become human. That's what had happened to him, it had to be. He sat up straight in bed, staring directly ahead.

"I'm human." He said.

"You sure are, last time I checked." A voice said. The curtain was pulled around and a doctor stepped up to the side of his bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Um… good, I guess." Spike answered hesitantly.

"We're not entirely sure what happened to you last night, but your brain showed signs of extreme stress and your red blood cell count is unusually low. By eating the right foods for the next few weeks, your red blood cell count will stabilise, but you'll also have to take these." The doctor pulled out a small bottle of pills and handed them to Spike. "If you take two per day, then within about two weeks you'll be just fine."

"What did you say 'bout me brain?" Spike asked.

"We're not sure what went on in that brightly-coloured head of yours," the doctor began with a joke and Spike ran his hand over the top of his head. "But we do know that your brain was under quite a bit of stress last night. Are you epileptic or do you have any other brain related problems?"

"No, I…" Spike began. He couldn't say, "Before last night, I was a vampire and I didn't have to worry too much about what was happening with my brain as long as it was there." He didn't know what to tell the doctor.

"Okay, well maybe you are just in a really stressful period of your life right now, so I recommend that you tone down on the clubbing for a while, possibly even not going at all."

"Clubbing?" Spike asked. "Oh, last night wasn't a regular thing. I don't go to clubs, doc." Spike explained.

"Okay, just… don't go for a while, all right? It'll do you some good." Spike nodded in acceptance of the doctor's terms.

"When can I go home?" he asked.

"Well, we can discharge you this morning if you like. I would like to bring you back in for a check-up in about a week, but you can go home."

"Sounds good. Now is good, actually." Spike pressed. He couldn't understand why he was human? Why now? The final battle was over a year ago, and it took them this long to finally do something? It couldn't be, could it?

"All right. Your clothes are in the cupboard there," he said, pointing to Spike's left where there was a small cupboard. "Get dressed and come on out to the desk so we can get you to sign some papers."

"Yeah. Give me a minute." The doctor drew the curtain all the way around and Spike climbed out of bed. He pulled out his clothes and quickly got changed before leaving the ward and heading for the desk.

"What do I need to sign?" Spike asked.

"Well, we need your name please sir." The nurse behind the desk answered. "Right now you're a John Doe."

"The name's William." Spike said quickly. "William Brown."

"Thankyou Mr Brown, just sign here…" Spike signed where the nurse pointed on a form she laid out on the desk. "… And here…" He signed again. "… And here please with your initials." Spike signed a third and final time. "Thankyou, you're right to go."

"Thanks." Spike turned and left the hospital, riding down in the elevator in silence. Outside the hospital, Spike strolled down the sidewalk in the sunlight, feeling free and like he'd never felt before. He was no longer a vampire and was no longer restrained in the ways that he was in his former state.

But the more he thought about how his life had now changed, he realised it was going to get a little worse every day. He was going to age, and eventually die. He would mostly likely get sick, because although he was technically alive for over 150 years he never developed an immunity to any of the diseases humans got during that time period. He would also find that he'd fall in love with the first blonde bimbo that came along who reminded him of Buffy, and even though he wouldn't really love her he would use her shamelessly. He couldn't go to Buffy, not now; he'd sworn to himself that he wouldn't. After everything, it was a simple and obvious decision that was best for both of them in the long run.

He would discover the feeling of loneliness, because he had nobody in his life that was special to him. Buffy was not in his life anymore, and he was alone and lost without her, as he always was when he was with Angel back at Wolfram and hart. He always felt like something was wrong, that something was missing. It brought him back to where everything began, when he was alone and when he was not used to it, which made it worse.

And for two years Spike lived this way. He trained himself daily to be even half as strong as he was as a vampire. It just wasn't the same. He would never be the same, never again. And he would never be complete, because he didn't have Buffy or anyone else who he cared deeply about in his life.

Although, there was Angel. Spike always told himself how he never knew that Angel actually died. He never saw him fall to dust and never saw him die. But then again, he never saw him after the battle either. He'd thought he'd seen Angel so many times, everywhere. It was the same with Buffy; everyone everywhere reminded him of somebody he lost.

But with Angel, it was different. Literally every man he saw with brown hair made him look twice before brushing it off as another 'random guy'. In bars, at clubs, on the street, he saw Angel everywhere. He thought he saw Angel everywhere. Until after the final battle, he never realised how much he'd miss that bastard. But now, as a human and as someone who had a full mind-body-soul connection he truly realised how much he hated not having Angel around. He missed Angel more than he'd ever realised, and finally worked out that the hole in his heart left behind by Buffy was meant for Angel, his grandsire. It was a special hole meant for someone deeply cared about, and Spike knew that filling the hole would be the only way to make him happy in his human life. There was no such thing as a happy ending without Angel, so Spike decided that he had to find out whether or not Angel was really dead.

To be continued…

A/N: Okay, first chapter up for this challenge. R&R please. And by the way, all the chopping and changing of time periods was meant to be more spaced out but that would require lots of text, which I wasn't prepared to write pages and pages of. It probably would have been half nonsense anyway. The changes are basically just the intervals where Spike's recent past history connects with another piece of recent past history and so on and so forth. It basically heads in one line telling what's happened since NFA. And I don't know if a club called The Chaos Club actually exists in L.A. but I made it up anyway. Okay… um, I'll post more soon if I get some reviews. (hint, hint)