The console room had never felt so empty.
The man sat on the upper level, absent-mindedly strumming his guitar as he gazed at nothing in particular, his eyebrows furrowed in a perpetual statement of grumpiness. Around him the majestic machine groaned and wheezed, echoing the empty halls.
He'd lost track of how long he'd been sitting there for. Minutes, hours, maybe days. He let the TARDIS do her thing, wander around the universe, while he sat and thought of better times he could barely remember, with nothing more than a name and a brief glimpse to go on.
Two thousand years, and here he was, all alone. Hearts broken and tired. So very tired. A whole universe out there, and no one to show it to. No one to show off to. It was clear at this point that the universe had just run out of surprises.
Which made it all the more surprising when a bright flash of purple light lit up the control room, only to be quickly filled with four very strange creatures.
The Doctor was on his feet in a flash, running down the stairs, hands ready to fly at the controls.
"Oh no no no no no," he said in a thick Scottish growl, practically barking the words out. "I don't like this, I don't like this at all."
"Very good Twilight," said the tallest creature. "Your teleportation spell was certainly… effective."
"I'm sorry Princess Celestia," said the shortest creature. "I didn't know Rainbow Dash was going to perform another Sonic Rainboom so soon."
"No, none of this," said the Doctor, pulling a few levers and checking the TARDIS' internal scanners. "Out. Get out. Now. Go."
"Well I don't that's very polite," said the third creature.
"Polite?" said the Time Lord in shock. "You're the ones who have just appeared in my TARDIS unannounced. One unicorn and three… winged unicorns?"
"Alicorns," said the fourth creature.
"No, sorry, I'm just not retaining that," said the Doctor. "That's just not going in. I can't accept that, not for a moment."
"What is going on here sister?" asked the black alicorn.
"I do not know Luna," admittedly the white alicorn. "It appears that Twilight's teleportation spell has taken us far away from Equestria."
"Again, I'm so sorry," said the purple unicorn.
"Oh it's okay Twilight," said the pink alicorn in a comforting tone of voice. "We all make mistakes."
"Yes," snarled the Doctor, "and the biggest mistake you've made is turning up on my ship. You lot, you're worse than the Titanic and the bride put together. At least they made sense."
"This certainly seems to be a strange place," said the pink alicorn. "What do you call it, Mister..."
"Doctor," said the Doctor. "The Doctor, to be specific. And whom might I be addressing in this instance?"
"Well I'm Cadance," said the pink alicorn, "that's Twilight" (the purple unicorn sheepishly grinned), "and they're Princess Luna and Princess Celestia."
"Oh, they're princess', are they?" said the Doctor mockingly. "I wasn't aware I was in the company of royalty. Your majesties." He bowed deeply, but the mockery was clear in his body language.
"I do not like this Doctor," said Luna. "He seems very strange."
"I'm strange?" said the Doctor, pointing to himself. "Have you looked in the mirror? You're a purple winged unicorn with stars in her mane and you think I'm strange?"
"It appears we've been getting off on the wrong hoof," said Celestia. "First off, I apologize for intruding."
"Oh that's very nice," said the Doctor. "Now if you could just kindly leave, I can get about-"
"That brings us to my second point," said Celestia sheepishly. "It appears that our magic isn't working at the moment."
The Doctor stopped in mid-step, his right foot hovering just centimetres above the ground as he comprehended everything that he had just seen and heard in the last few moments.
"Doctor?" asked Cadance, concerned for this strange being's sudden frozenness. With a quick spin on his heel the Doctor was striding toward the rainbow-maned alicorn.
"There's no such thing as magic," he said, pointing an accusatory finger at Celestia.
"Then how do you explain us getting here?" asked Luna.
"I've yet to determine what you really are," retorted the Doctor. "Some psychic pollen perhaps, or some clever scheme by the Master to hi-jack the TARDIS. If you're escaped specimens from the Rani's lab so help me-"
"We're from Equestria," said Twilight.
"Never heard of it," said the Doctor, before making it clear he was about to go on ranting again. Cadance, however, quickly cut him off.
"Is it possible that you have a map of some kind, so that we can work out where we are?" she asked hopefully.
"I have maps of all of time and space," said the Doctor. "And I can tell you for certain that Equestria isn't on any of them."
"You do?" asked Twilight, eagerly. "Where do you keep them?"
"On my ship, of course? Well else would I keep them?"
"And where is your ship?"
"You're on it?"
"This is a ship?"
"Of sorts. Now as I was saying-"
"You have a library on your boat?" squeed Twilight.
"Spaceship, actually," said the Doctor absent-mindedly. "Well, Time and Space Ship, to be precise."
Twilight let out a gasp of joy that was quickly hushed by Cadance, knowing full well that if Twilight got her hands on a time machine she'd never get her home again in time for bed.
"So this ship travels through time and space?" asked Celestia.
"My TARDIS, yes. Now I remember one Toymaker who was known for this sort of thing-"
"So isn't it possible that Equestria does or must exist at some point, and you are unaware of it?" The Doctor closed his mouth, thinking hard.
"And given the range of Twilight's teleportation spell," continued Celestia, "it's entirely possible that you are near it now without being aware of it."
"I have let the TARDIS drift aimlessly," mused the Doctor. "And it's certainly possible, I will conceive."
"So then," concluded Celestia. "If you just wait here, our magic will be recharged soon and we'll be on our way. Unless you'd rather take us with you to explore the universe."
"No no," said the Doctor. "I don't need any more companions, thank you very much. I have- had one already."
"Had?" asked Twilight. "What happened to her."
"She had to go," said the Doctor. "Or at least I think she had to. Truth be told I can't remember any more. Neuro blockers, they play havoc with one's mind."
"I'm sorry," said Twilight, offering out a hoof for sympathy. The Doctor coldly ignored it.
"So, saying what you've said is true, and not the result of my mind being invaded by some alien parasite, how long, exactly, will it take for your magic to recharge?"
"A few hours," said Cadance. "If the four of us work together, we should be able to match Twilight's power and be able to get out of here just fine."
"A few hours," said the Doctor bitterly. "Honestly, this is worst than when the Sontarans invaded my ship."
"Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself, Doctor?" suggest Cadance.
"I'm a two thousand year-old Time Lord who stole a TARDIS to travel the universe, a ship that is currently being occupied by four very annoying horses that I just wish would leave me alone."
"Well technically I'm a pony-" began Twilight.
"I don't care what you are," snarled the Doctor. "I just want to be left alone." With that he pulled a lever, the TARDIS letting out a shuddering thud.
"What did you do?" asked Luna.
"We've landed," said the Doctor.
"Where?" asked Celestia.
"Well if you came from near here, then wherever we've landed must be where you've come from. Now, if you'll kindly leave, I can get back to my peace and quiet."
"If you say so," said Celestia. "Come along everyone, we'll leave this nice Doctor in peace."
"But don't you want to come, Doctor?" asked Twilight.
"I'm fine here, thank you very much," said the Doctor irritably. "You go off and do whatever it is you horses do with your spare time, and I'll be on my way." He watched as his four uninvited guests left his home, before turning back to the console.
"Shields on maximum," he muttered to himself, before preparing the TARDIS to take off. With one simple movement he pushed the lever… only to find nothing happening. With a scowl he tried again, only to be met with yet more silence.
"Oh what is it now," he said irritably, pressing more buttons on his console. "Nowhere?" he continued, glaring at the read-out. "How can we be nowhere?"
"Doctor," said a voice outside his TARDIS. "You might want to have a look at this." The Doctor threw open the TARDIS doors… to be met with an empty nothingness. The four equestrians didn't need the Doctor to say anything, the shock and fear on his face said more than enough.
"What is it, Doctor?" asked Twilight anyway.
"I don't know how," said the Doctor slowly, "and I don't know why, but somehow we've ended up in the Land of Fiction."
"So?" asked Luna impatiently.
"It means," explained the Doctor exasperatedly, "that unless I do something very, very clever, we're trapped here… forever".