You know what one of the worst things a person can experience is? Realizing that they're in love with their best friend, and also realizing that person is in love with your other best friend.
Fucked up, no?
Well. That's exactly what I'm experiencing right now. And I just feel stupid. Why did I have to have this epiphany when he loved someone else? Couldn't life be simple and fair just once, and let the guy I have feelings for actually like me back? I mean, give me something to work with here. Can't he at least like someone that's not my best friend? That would be a little better, because the worst part of the situation is that I have to witness him express his feelings for her non-freaking-stop.
It's too late to tell him now, because if one thing is certain, when Fredward Benson likes a certain girl, he won't even look at anyone else. Why couldn't I have said anything in the past, when I had the chance? I mean, when we kissed it felt real. I know pretty much immediately after we went back to our normal friendship, but at the time it had to mean something. Right?
Or was he thinking of her then, too? I wouldn't be surprised. His attention was always on her, whether or not she noticed it. Don't get me wrong, he's my best friend. He gives me attention too. He cares about what I have to say, but no matter what's going on, if she does something, it grabs his attention almost immediately. I don't even think she appreciates what he's offering her. I would kill to have the opportunity for him to love me the way he loves her.
I mean, there is some sort of poetic justice to their relationship. She's gorgeous (no one can deny that), he's very attractive, and everyone thinks they need to be together. Not should be, not could potentially be, not even cute together. Need to be together.
But couldn't I be perfect for him too?
I want him.
Wasn't there a time when he wanted me too? That he would do anything to be with me?
So why now, does the guy that I want, want to be Mr. Sam Puckett and not Mr. Carly Shay?