I don't exactly know how I fell so rapidly, and I don't remember the impact. All I remember is the feeling of slipping into a deep dark hole and trying to scramble back up to the light. It all began with the beginning of my junior year. I had been planning on going to a different high school for my junior year, but made the prestigious chamber choir with much effort and thought it better to stay at my school home, Colfax. The beginning of the year was different, I kept comparing it to my freshman and sophomore years and thought in amazement how much one could change in a matter of only a few years. Freshman year I had a group of close knit friends, mainly guys. For some reason, the guys and I clicked much better than me clicking with the girls. Anywho, I did the whole high school routine, relishing in the lack of rules and all the new freedoms I had acquired. Everyday I would walk up the hill to the bus, looking up at the people who were coming down to the parking lot to drive home, and not knowing a single person. It was one of the best feelings in the world. Knowing that I was starting over and I had left my horrible past behind at the place I would from then on refer to as, "hell," or Weimar Hills School. Three different schools combined into one, all the popular Weimar kids to huddle like sheep and find their own way. It was great. No longer having to deal with the same old people who thought they were better than everybody else and trying to prove that they're cool, I ran to my first group of friends… the same exact ones I had graduated with from Weimar. Funny how those types of things turn out the way that you didn't think they would happen like. I got to know the people I had looked down on, just because they were part of the popular clique at Weimar and looked at them closer. They were just normal kids trying to find their way and we moved on. We became friends, having parties and hanging out behind the bleachers in front of the football field, hiding out in our secret little world until Karen decided to drive (yes DRIVE) around yelling at us to find another spot. We listened to her at first, like the freshmen we were, trying to follow the rules, but later ignoring her because we knew she wouldn't actually do anything about it. Summer came along and faded into fall and the year began again, except this time my friends had all split up, they hung with different crowds. My freshman friends had pretty much been held together by the couples that formed them and most of them had broken up during the summer. Classes got harder and I came to realize that my friends had moved on and left me behind to fend for myself. I became friends with the person I would have least expected to, the foreign exchange student. We ended up eating lunch together for the first half of the year on A-day's and I almost shot myself in the head. Naw, not really. Sophomore year was a real struggle and I moved on the best I could until Siena and I became best friends. Towards the end of the year the only people I can remember being really close to was Siena and Elaine. Elaine had become my insta-best-friend-who-also-rode-the-bus. The first day of school sophomore year, I step on the bus and head towards the back only to find Jake Johnson or whatever, stoned off his ass and Elaine. We sat across from each other and instantly bonded. We were so relieved to have someone to talk to besides Jake. From that day on, we sat with each other and made fun of Melissa and Peter. Summer once again came and went and junior year started. I had my license and I had my freedom, but not enough. I took Laine home, even though my six months weren't up, pretty much everyday. We became close and I ended up with this group of people who were so different than anyone I had ever hung out with before. That's when I met Rebecca and Jordan. I had remembered Jordan from the chamber choir tryouts the year before and vaguely remember Rebecca trying out also. I didn't really become close with them until about November or so, when Jordan joined Chamber choir when John Graves left. I remember being apprehensive towards Jordan because he had taken John's spot, as John and I had bonded. Slowly but surely, Rebecca, Jordan, and I became good friends. It was then I discovered photography as a release and began to take pictures. But that's a different story. Jordan and I started to bond. A tighter bond still once he invited me over to his house one night after a football game. A group of us ended up going over there and we watched the Matrix but Laine and I had to leave early. From that day forward, Jordan and I clicked. Rebecca became Bica and she was my sister-in-law. I started going to Jordan's house about every Friday and we pretended to watch movies but we only ended up getting about ½ way through them, simply because I couldn't sit still. About February, things got bad. It was my birthday and everything was going pretty good. I had my party and really started to notice that Jordan and Bica were getting farther and farther away from each other. Sure, I had noticed it earlier but I hadn't been home, I had been in Hawaii, grateful for that escape from everything. But they officially broke up after the Mormon dance I had gone to. They decided to call it quits right before Valentine's day. I had never seen Bica happier or Jordan so sad. Of course, after a while the roles reversed, and Bica being more mature began to think about things while Jordan, my beloved brother and friend, but still immature freshman that he was, began to forget. And that, my friends, is all for now. More to be continued when I feel like writing.