A/N: This is the first in what I hope will be a series of "Word-of-the-Day" oneshots...not a daily, but an "I'll pick from the list when I have time to write" kind of thing.

Warnings: Slash, PWP, implied threesome, AU, somewhat, but not terribly graphic. Unbeta-ed. Can't think of anything else right now...If you catch something, tell me, please.

Brannigan

"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors." —Quentin Crisp

It was all Seamus' fault.

Seamus was responsible for why Harry was currently shoved between a rock and—ah, Malfoy. Said rock, of course, being a wall in Hogwarts castle (specifically, corridor outside the Ancient Runes classroom), and the Malfoy being Draco Malfoy.

Not that Harry could bring himself to mind, much. He was rather distracted by that thing Malfoy kept doing with his—oh!—hands. One up Harry's shirt and playing with his nipples, the other sneaking under his trousers and teasing his hip.

Malfoy sneaked that hand lower—

Harry gasped and thrust forward.

Malfoy pushed back and took away his hands.

Harry, not at all happy with this turn of events, reached to get them back.

Only to find them already there, holding his own against the wall. Mollified, he wrapped a leg around Malfoy's and tugged him closer, opening his mouth for a kiss.

The kiss came, harsh and greedy. Harry bit down and sucked on whatever bits of lip or tongue he could reach. Just like that. Yes.

Draco's knee rose up to put pressure on Harry's crotch just there—mmm...

Harry rocked his hips forward, felt Draco's answering, bearing down on his thigh and set a rhythm.

Draco was drawing his attention back to the kiss, now...nnnn...ahhh...perfect.

Draco's hands had let his go at some point. Harry took one to pull Draco infinitesimally closer by the waist, the other to wind in his lover's hair.

Draco returned one hand to Harry's nipples, placing the other a spot on Harry's neck that drove him wild with desire. Yes. More. More. Yes. Oh. Oh. OH.

Harry moved his mouth's attentions to Draco's neck, laving a spot with his tongue before biting down, just for a moment, then finding someplace new to bite. Draco's hips thrust more viciously in reply.

Harry felt it rising in him, and Draco seemed to sense it too, reclaiming Harry's mouth and pushing at his hips more urgently. Mine and yours and his and US, not Seamus; oh, oh please, yesyesyes ohpleasemoreplease—

They reached orgasm as harshly as they had sought for it, letting it drain away their anger. Harry sagged against the wall, Draco's forehead resting on his shoulder. They panted softly, not unified, but in some sort of syncopated rhythm.

If this was the result of putting up with a drunken Seamus flirting with him and Draco, Harry thought, then perhaps he should bring him along when they went out more often.

"I think we both won that one," Harry whispered smugly.

Draco bit his ear in reply. Harry hissed.

"Professors Potter and Malfoy!" came the imperious voice of the Headmaster. "I think you know better than to expect that no one will come across your fumbling in the hallways. You are fortunate that it was not a student that discovered you—I am sure you recall from your own experiences how…curious…students can be when they happen on professors after hours. Now do go to home, and I'll help you settle your little argument."

"It's already settled, sir," Draco replied smoothly, "but thank you for your most generous offer."

"Really."

"Seamus lost," Harry chimed in helpfully.

"Did he? You must fill me in on the details, professors. Perhaps we will discover a more efficient route to this conclusion if we reexamine the issue."

Reexamine? What? Oh. Yes. That would be nice.

"Yes, Headmaster Snape."

Brannigan: a carouse, a squabble, a brawl.

A word that aquired general meaning after existing as a family name.

-from Dictionary (dot) com