THE TOY
A/N: Imagine this in a JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME voice…
I am here. I am unmoving. I can't MOVE! I am… the TOY! And I'll take over the WORLD! Well, as soon as I can MOVE!!! Look at me, I can mesmerize you with my excellent swirly candy circle skills! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You'll be completely under my control, and I will finally BE ABLE TO MOVE!!! I can RULE the world!!!!!! And I get ALL the NIKE ENDORSEMENTS!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GUAHAHAHAH GUAAAA--- *cough cough*… ahem… I AM the TOY!!!!!!! … Oh SHIIIIIT, it's Link… he's MOVING ME!!! ACK!!! What arrrre you doing???? ARGH! NO BITES!!!!! OW!! How dare you do this to THE TOY!!!!!!!!!
"What the hell? What sort of shit chocolate did Zelda send me now? Aw, must be Kinder Surprise… Damn plastic... STUPID %$###@ egg!!!!" Link said as he started shaking the TOY as if it were a SHAKER MAKER.
ARGH!!! He is SHAKING THE TOY!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Oh, I think I got a HERNIA!!! ARGH!!!! OOOH!!!! GUUUGGUUUUURRREEEEEDDSSEESS…. BLAH!!!!!!
"Ah!!!! HOT CHOCOLATE!!! It burns!!! It BURNS!!!!! It STAINS!!!! Eww, it's GREEN!!!! NASTINESS!!!!!!!!!!!" Link screamed.
Ooohh… I forgot to swallow… GOGUUUUUREDSESS!!!!!!!!!! BLAH!!!!!!
"AH SHIT!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!! I don't want rotten… hey, maybe it's…. YES! A NINJA TURTLE BAR!!! It just stayed in the sun too long, that's all…" Link said, bringing the green substance up to his mouth.
YES!!! Just LOOK into my eyes!!! Look into my eyes and become my SLAVE!!! MUAHAHAHA…. NO NO!!!! EYES, not MOUTH!!!! GUUUYYYGGEUDDDESSESFDEEESSSSSSSS……. BLURGH!!!!!!!!!
"ACK! WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS CHOCOLATE???!!!! It tastes like Zelda's toes!!!!!! Damn, I've sucked those too much…. OH!!! I figured it out!!! Zelda sent me… HER TOE!!!!!!! EWWWWWW!!!!!!"
Muahaha, yes, look into my eyes… MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOO…. OUCH!!!!!!!! STOMACH ACIDS…. MUAHAHAHAHAHA, now I will CONTROL YOU!!!!!!!!
"RESSEAEOINEEHIUWCHNVDEASWEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Link said incomprehensibly.
Yes… I am complete now… MUAHAHA, I can MOVE!!!!!!! Oh, the POWER!!!! THE POWER!!!!!!!
"Yes… I am complete now… MUAHAHA, I can MOVE!!!!!! Oh, the POWER!!!! THE POWER!!!!!!!" Link repeated.
Now it's time to take over the WORLD! GUAHAHAHA!
"Now it's time to HIT ON ZELDA, BABY!!! BOUYA!!!!" Link said.
Shit.
"Poopie."
Dumbass.
"Tasty."
NOOOO, I have corrupted an idiot!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! Must find…. A new host….
"I gotta watch America's Funniest Home Videos. Must find…. ZELDA!!!!"
Yes, yes, find Zelda… find the smart one.
"I'm hungry. Maybe Zelda has food. I've got to find the sexy one."
And so Link trotted off merrily towards Hyrule castle, carrying his symbiotic toy. Unbeknownst to him, he was leading the world to DISASTER!!!! GUUUUGUGUUUUUGDERESSSERDSEEES…… DUM DUM DUM…
Well, I hoped you liked the starting… this is going to be a story of EPIC PROPORTIONS!!! Anyway, plz R&R!!! Thnx!!