More Than Just A Four Letter Word

Authors Note: Hey everybody. Arrianna is back for more. This would be my first time writing Smallville Fanfiction and I think I'm ready. I have a previous story, I wrote it about Hunger Games and coming from the author herself, I kinda didn't like it. Anyways I wrote it when I was 14, I'm 19 now and after watching Smallville I was definitely hooked and then reading all of everyone else's fanfiction. I was incredibly inspired to write one of my own. This idea had been kinda bubbling in my head for a while. I think season 8 was a powerful season but there were so many things I would've changed but this story picks up on the end of 'Infamous' during the coffee scene. So… here we go.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Superman Franchise or Smallville

Prologue: Realization

Lois Lane sits outside her favorite café cradling a lukewarm cup of coffee. It has been 30 minutes since she arrived. She holds onto the thin line of hope that he will arrive, but it gets thinner and thinner as time passes. She looks at her watch and it reads 10:24. She looks around for the millionth time and still nothing. I really hope I don't look like I'm waiting for someone. She contemplates texting him but doesn't want to seem desperate or try to pressure him into coming.

Although she told him everything would be fine if he didn't show up, a part of her hoped he would. These past few months have been a lot on her and although she would never admit it to him, all she wanted was for Clark to hold her in his big, strong arms and tell her it's all going to be fine. First it was that thing that attacked Chloe's wedding, Jimmy almost dying, then Chloe disappears with monster. It's all just a lot on her heart and she kind of needs a shoulder to cry on. His shoulder.

It's also moments like this she begins to doubt herself. She could never forget the look on his face when he saw Lana walk into the barn. It was hope, hope of a new beginning, and just like that she was an afterthought. But she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt considering the way they 'broke up'- more like the way Lana shattered his heart, stomped on it, and expected him to pick it up, but after seeing the look of longing in his eyes when she saw them at the hospital she knew she had to leave.

She knew that her going to Star City had to do more with safe keeping Jimmy but a selfish part of her went to also distant herself from a certain farm boy turned reporter. After the psychotic jeweler fiasco, and she had to confess her love for Clark, things have been a little different and she knew it was her fault. After all, she knew she loved Clark, but she didn't know if he loved her and that scared her beyond reason.

Growing up she learned to never let anyone to close to hurt you, because everyone leaves, whether they intend to or not. She doesn't know how or even when it happened but Clark Kent snuck his way into her heart without her noticing. And if she was honest with herself she didn't mind one bit. So now that she can tell there is a drift between them she doesn't know what to do.

And to put the icing on the cake, she learned from a very reluctant Chloe that Lana and Clark got back together during her time in Star City. At that moment she didn't know what or even how to feel. Angry, sad, disgusted, or broken hearted. Chloe tried to assure her that Lana once again left but she wasn't going to be the one to pick up the pieces to Clarks broken heart, not again.

She'll be damned if allowed herself to be his sideline girl.

No matter how bad she wants to be the one he looks at like she's his whole world.

Now nobody would know this about Lois but she truly is a helpless romantic. She always wanted to be a woman that a man looked at like his queen.

She looks at the time, 10:38. Her shoulders slump forward when she realizes he still hasn't shown. Maybe he's stuck in traffic I'm sure he's gonna…

Clark: Sorry swamped with work can't make it.

No matter how hard she tries to fight it, a lone tear falls. She roughly wipes it away and decides to keep her head up and move on

Lois: Chasing a lead, couldn't make it anyway.

She gets up from the café table and throws the still full cup of coffee away. While walking home she makes a silent promise to herself.

"Now you learn to move on. Whatever it takes, you learn how to move on from Clark. He knew what he was doing when he didn't show up. But you also have to your promise and not hold it against him. Just keep him at a distant, so he will not get close enough to hurt you again."

This is probably the hardest thing she will ever have to do, considering their friendship meant so much to her. She also knows that he treasures their friendship as well, she's not gonna pretend like he treated her as a crutch until he can get back on his feet.

It might be the deeper feeling that aren't reciprocated though.

As she walks home, there is one thought that she can't shake.

I'm in love with a man, who will never love me.

Yea I know that was kind of deep, we will see what Mr. No Show Kent has to say next week.

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Arrianna out!