One Shot: 500 Miles
Author: Dark Wings Of Imagination.
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: T (just to be safe)
Summary: In which Elliot visits Olivia at home six months after the shooting and tries to sort things out. Set in season 13.
A/N: It is set somewhere on season 13, six months after the shooting. The title was inspired by the song 500 Miles (I'm Gonna Be), in this case, the cover by Sleeping At Last.
He spent six months away, he didn't answer her calls, he did not returned them either. He didn't do much those months except walking. Every day he left home just to walk – sometimes he even jogged a bit – and try to clear his head, forget about what happened, but of course he didn't – it was not that easy.
In one of those days, somewhere between the first and second month he realized his marriage was not working anymore and when he shared this thought with his wife she agreed. They entered the divorce papers the next day. On the same he turned in his papers.
By the beginning of the third month he was moving out. His kids were okay with it – the four oldest that is, Eli was too young to understand what was happening all he could fathom was that he was not going to see daddy every day, but then again when did he?
The fourth and fifth months were spent with his kids on the weekends and visiting his mother. His former job and partner were still in his mind but he did not have the courage then to allow himself to really think about it and so he didn't.
On one particular day on the sixth month he couldn't get Olivia out of his head, that day was probably his longest walk. And so he walked, and walked, and walked only to realize a few hours later he was standing outside her door – he was not even sure how he got to her building in the first place.
He knocked and waited, seconds later the door was opened and there was she.
"Elliot" the shock in her face was evident, but he was glad that was all he could read in it.
"Liv I-" he started but it was then he realized he did not know what to say.
"Why don't you come in?" Olivia offered stepping aside to let him in.
Both were standing in the middle of her living room looking anywhere but each other. He felt too guilty to do so and she had feelings that ranged from hurt and anger to wanting to hold him and never let him go.
"I-I'm sorry" he said as soon as he was able to find words. "
"It's okay" she answered quietly.
"No, Liv, it's not ok." He answered and that was surprising enough to make her look at him and once he knew he had her attention he continued "I was the one who killed that girl, not you, the guilt and anger I feel are my own fault, not yours, I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. You are one of the most important people in my life and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost you because I let you in the dark about how I was or where we stood"
"Elliot I-" she began but he cut her off.
"I turned in my papers a few months ago but I'm sure Cragen told you that, I love my job, I really do, but I can't deal with it anymore. As for us, it won't matter whether I'm there or not, you'll still have me, if you don't hate me already, that is"
"No matter how many times I've tried to, hating you had never been an option. I'm still angry and mad at you, but I don't hate you" she answered and never in his life had he been more relieved.
The silence that settled was thick but not uncomfortable, and it seemed to say all the words they couldn't. It was then they felt the shift – whether in the atmosphere or in their relationship they weren't sure – and it scared them, and when she saw him going towards her looking nowhere but her eyes she had never felt more frightened.
He could see in her eyes she was scared and he knew why, it was for the same reasons he was scared as well – what would happen to them if they acted on feelings that had been there for so long? Would they last? And if they didn't, would they get through it? They could still be friends after? - but he was tired of dancing around, he was tired of waiting.
He held her face in between his hands and before she could think of protesting he leaned in and kissed her. It was not long nor was it forceful, it was barely a brush of lips, a way to get what he wanted and still give her a right to reject.
"What about Kathy?" she questioned, it was the only thing in her mind once he parted his lips from hers. She wanted it just as much as him, but not if his wife was still in the picture. She would not be in the way of his family.
"We divorced a few months ago" he answered and this time it was Olivia who kissed him, firm and passionately, hands settling at the back of his neck as he embraced her fully, their bodies colliding and fitting against each other.
They weren't sure who deepened the kiss, but neither cared, the simply notion of finally being in each other's arms was enough and when they parted for air the smile on their faces was instant.
"You sure?" he asked, he wanted her to be completely certain of her decision, it would not be an easy journey.
"Never had I been surer" she answered and leaned in for a quick peck on his lips before adding "We can talk more tomorrow. Now come, I believe we have many years to catch up on"
END!