We're Finally Home
I imagine I was about eleven years of age when it all started. The quick, nervous glances, the secrecy of holding hands under the dinner table, the false excuses of rumpled clothes and swollen lips…
It all had to be kept secret back in Finchley. They knew no one would approve. If Mother and Father ever found out… I'm quite certain father would have Peter's head. They kept it secret from Lucy and myself as well.
I found out when I heard them screaming at each other. I went to go see what they were bloody killing each other for, and I saw them kiss. Peter slammed the door shut and wouldn't let me leave the room while Susan explained what was going on between them. Peter made me swear not to tell anyone. I wasn't startled or disgusted, so I agreed.
They always fought and argued. Mother always wondered why Susan would lock herself in the bathroom and "take so many showers." I knew she was in there crying, of course. She didn't like the secrecy. Neither did Peter, but he was only trying to protect her.
They kept it secret for another year, and after we came through into Narnia, they felt it was okay to tell people. Lucy was delighted. She was young enough that the thought "loving your brother or sister is wrong" was not instilled into her mind.
In Narnia, Peter and Susan could hold hands whenever they wanted and steal kisses from each other in front of people. It was not unusual to see them being affectionate. They were smart enough not to take it for granted.
Peter proposed to Susan on her fifteenth birthday, and of course, she said yes. They were married when Peter was eighteen and Susan was sixteen. Over the course of their marrige they had three children, a boy and two girls who were twins. The boy was called Tristan and the girls were named Aramae and Briseis.
When we stumbled back through the wardrobe, their eldest child, Tristan was only six. Susan screamed and cried, banging on the back of the wardrobe. Peter watched her, with a terrified look on his face and tears falling off his cheek. He had to pull her out of the wardrobe and they began fighting again. Susan screamed for their children, and Peter began crying so hard, he couldn't talk anymore.
Susan went back to locking herself in the bathroom with the shower running, so no one could hear her cry. Sometimes she screamed, and would bang herself up. Once, she had a bruise upon her cheekbone that took up the entire left side of her face.
Peter never seemed to leave his room. He rarely ate and slept all the time. You could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at Susan. When Mother and Father were gone, they often laid together, crying. "I want to go home!" Susan would cry, and Peter would just tighten his grip on her.
It hurt all of us to be back in Finchley. As much as we had missed our family and friends, we felt at home in Narnia. It was a place we could be ourselves. Lucy wasn't the same. She no longer found joy and goodness in everything and everyone. She would cry sometimes too, and I never knew what to say to make her feel better, so I would hold her until she fell asleep. It was a bit comforting to be able to hold her.
Susan never found any comfort. After she had turned seventeen, again, she killed herself. For three months after her death, Peter didn't leave the house. All of the magnificent light in his eyes, all the life in him, wasn't there anymore. Peter died shortly after Susan, and I suppose it was because he felt like there was nothing left for him in this world with Susan gone. I did not cry for either of them, and neither did Lucy. We understood that they were together now, and they were finally home.