Greg had only one goal in life. He just wanted to be cool. He wanted to look cool in the eyes of everyone. Basically he wanted to metaphorically suck the dick of everyone he met, which isn't too surprising because we all know he's a faggot metaphorically.
Anyways, one day Greg was driving to school with his mom, and was listening to music through his headphones. Currently he was listening to 'With That' by Young Thug, and he was feeling real cool. However, at that moment Yelken Brandley drove by in his brand new beamer.
Yelken was in eighth grade but he drove a car, cause him and his parents did not give a fuck about the laws, or at least that's what Greg thought, because he didn't know for sure.
Greg certainly wished that he was even half as cool as Yelken. Yelken was holding a juul vape in one hand and took a hit as he drove by blowing out a large smoky white cloud. Yelken was blasting 'Where's the Blow' by Ski Mask the Slump God as he drove by, and the line, "she suck on my dick like a sippie" blasted out as he drove by.
Greg cringed as he heard this, because even though he had heard much worse lyrics through his headphones and in private and liked to laugh to them. He always cringed when he heard these lyrics with other people, probably because he was a pussy, but also because he felt like other people should react when the heard swear words because to his stupid sheltered life a swear word was probably the craziest thing.
Greg's mom didn't react because she wasn't a bitch like Greg. Greg's mom dropped off Greg, and even though Greg liked to act cool, he was too socially awkward to say bye to his mom instead opting to just walk away. As Greg walked into school, he noticed Yelken parking in one of the staff parking spots, and texting somebody on his phone. "Damn", thought Greg, "I wish I could be as cool as Yelken."
Greg walked into school and even though he was a faggot and incredibly socially awkward, nobody bullied him, due to the quite intense anti-bullying measures the school had been undergoing recently.
"Is today the day?", Greg wondered, "Is today the day I stop being a faggot and become cool? Is today the day I stop hanging out with losers like Rowley and move up the social totem pole?"
But alas, it was not to be.
Rowley approached Greg and immediately said, "Hey Gregory, how has it been going?"
Since Greg was so socially awkward he merely looked down at the floor, and stammered out, "it.. it's going good..." really quietly.
"Sorry Greg, I could not catch what you just said? Mind repeating yourself?" said Rowley.
"I SAID IT'S GOING GOOD!" Greg screamed and then he burst into tears, he was going to swear and punch Rowley but he was too socially awkward to do so.
Greg ran into the bathroom, and when he got in he saw Randuile Hyglstag rolling up a backwood and lighting it. One of the iMacs from the school's library had been stolen, and was currently plugged in to a power outlet on the bathroom sink and was blasting out 'Lifestyle' by Rich Gang.
Greg immediately was scared, because even though he wished he could be as cool as Randuile, he was too pussy, wimpy, and socially awkward to ever do these things, so whenever he saw stuff like this he was always scared.
Randuile suddenly turned around and stared at Greg, while blowing out a cloud of smoke.
"Whatchu lookin at lil nigga" said Randuile even though he was white.
At that moment Greg was so scared he almost pissed his pants. He realized that Randuile was 6'8 and probably a little upward of 250 pounds mostly muscle.
"n.. n.. othing..." Greg stammered out meekly.
"That's right pussy!" Randuile growled, before taking a swig from a bottle and tequila in his backpack. Once again Greg found himself wishing he could be that cool.
Then Randuile shoved Greg, and Greg flew back hitting a urinal, and Randuile proceeded to walk out the bathroom.
Greg quickly got himself together and made his way to his next class, "Pre-Algebra for the Complete Math Beginner".
His school had been renaming some of the classes, although for what reason Greg could not say.
As Greg walked barely catching the bell, he quickly found a seat, and the teacher Mrs. Zoggelvalter glared at him.
"Honestly Gregory, this is the third time this week that you've almost been late to my class. What is the matter with you?" she asked.
The class burst into light snickers at this statement.
"N..nothing... I.. I'm sorry... it won't happen again..." Greg stammered and then he gulped in embarrassment.
"It better not" Mrs. Zoggelvalter said.
Five minutes later, as Mrs. Zoggelvalter was trying to explain the concept of a variable to them, Claroww Talox walked in. As Claroww walked in, he took a swig from the bottle of whiskey he was holding, and Greg found himself once again fantasizing that he could be as cool.
"Claroww..." said Mrs. Zoggelvalter at a near loss for words.
Clarrow backhanded her and said, "Shut your stupid mouth hoe, it ain't your place to talk...".
Mrs. Zoggelvalter stood there stunned for several seconds and then resumed teaching when Clarrow reached his seat. Clarrow put the bottle of whiskey to his mouth and started chugging it, and as soon as he finished he threw the empty bottle at the board shattering it and nearly missing Mrs. Zoggelvalter's head.
"Why the fuck don't you ever shut up bitch?" asked Clarrow mockingly.
Mrs. Zoggelvalter burst into tears and said, "Please, I am trying to teach..."
Clarrow folded his arms and smirked saying, "let's see it then..."
Mrs. Zoggelvalter than resumed teaching while sniffling. In the meanwhile, Clarrow alternated between making animal noises and sexual sounds causing everybody to laugh, but Mrs. Zoggelvalter valiantly continued to teach. Clarrow then began shooting spitballs at the teacher, but even though some got stuck in her hair she still continued teaching. Finally, Clarrow took out his laptop, a Mac airbook, and began blasting porn noises.
Mrs. Zoggelvalter turned around sobbing, "Please... that is not appropriate for a school environment.. and I am trying to teach..."
"Pweeeze, dat innat appo piate foh a scooool environment... I am twying to tweach..." Clarrow said back mockingly.
Suddenly Mrs. Zoggelvalter started screaming and pulling at her hair, "I'VE HAD IT", she screamed, "EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS... I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR CHILDISH, IMMATURE ANTICS!"
Then she screamed and charged at Clarrow, and Clarrow stood up and kicked her brutally in the stomach. Mrs. Zoggelvalter flew back and hit her desk, and collapsed wheezing.
"Wrong move bitch!" Clarrow said smirking. And at this point it was fairly clear, Clarrow was 6'4 and was 215 pounds of mostly muscle, Mrs. Zoggelvalter on the other hand was 5'1 around 90 pounds and was approaching age 50.
Mrs. Zoggelvalter merely looked up at Clarrow in fear, and stammered out, "wh.. why are you doing this?"
Clarrow chuckled and said, "Cuz you a dumb hoe who don't ever shut her fucking hole!"
Then Clarrow spat on her, and she began shrieking and yelping like an abused dog.
Clarrow turned around and said, "Class dismissed niggas" and walked out, even though he was white.
Greg recounted this story to Rowley, who was so forgiving and pathetic that he completely ignored Greg's earlier behavior.
"Damn I wish I could be as cool as Clarrow..." Greg said at the conclusion of the recounting. "I mean, he's so cool! He always wears the freshest clothes, and hangs out with the coolest people, and always does funny crazy shit! I heard he also got hella bitches..."
"I mean today he was wearing a Bape jacket, a gucci belt, true religion jeans, and all white air jordans. He also got earrings, a nose ring, and sick ass green hair. He also even got a face-tat, how gnarly is that and a whole sleeve of tats on his left arm..." Greg continued.
Meanwhile Rowley had backed away and was looking at Greg with a confused expression. "Yo Greg are you... um... are you like gay or something? No homophobia though..."
Greg stammered, and Rowley continued, "I mean you sure described him pretty well... Did you check him out or something?"
Then Greg had an angry expression, "Goddamit!" he said, "Why can't I be cool?! Even my own faggot friend calls me gay! I don't know what I'm not doing, I mean I listen to the same music all the cool kids do, and I even dress nice..."
Then Greg gulped and yelled, "LOOK AT ME! I am wearring Vans old-skool, nice levi jeans, and a cool RVCA t-shirt!". Then Greg grabbed Rowley by the shoulders and started shaking him.
Apparently Rowley had had enough because he pushed Greg away and slammed him against the lockers by the throat.
"Look mate", Rowley said, "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to stop this... What would Joshie say?..."
"FUCK JOSHIE!" screamed Greg.
Rowley instantly became furious and punched Greg in the jaw extremely hard, knocking a couple of Greg's teeth loose and causing his mouth to bleed.
"DON'T YOU EVER SWEAR AND INSULT JOSHIE IN THE SAME SENTENCE!" Rowley bellowed and then stormed off, leaving Greg to cry.
Just then Greg saw Leon Ricket approaching and thought to himself, "Oh no!"