It was a normal day, with Fran sitting in the common room on the sleek and relatively new Dell computer. He was trying to get away from any missions today, especially any with Belphegor. Sometimes, the blonde was just too unbearable for him. So, on his "iRanOverFrogger" account, Fran scoured Youtube for some viral pleasure. He was lucky that only Lussuria, who didn't mind him slacking in the first place, and Levi, who didn't care that he was slacking in the first place, were in the common room right now. Fran clicked on a video of Keyboard Cat, and smiled, watching it play. Oh, Keyboard Cat. How amusing thou art, Fran thought. He heard footsteps pounding down the stairs, and knew that it could only be Squalo Superbia. Loud as shit with everything he did.
"Shark commander, the keys are still sticky from your escapades last night." Fran aloofly commented, pressing the barely budging shift key for emphasis.
"Vooooii, you can shove it, Fran!" Squalo yelled. "We'd better have some cereal left."
"Why do you want cereal, Squalo, when I made you eggs?" Lussuria cried. Fran felt the guy's pain; he knew what it was like to be unappreciated. He knew what it was like to—
Pop-Tart cat shitting a rainbow in space?
"Whaaaat?"
Fran drawled before clicking on the image. He placed the large pair of Skullcandy earphones over his ears, and plugged them into the computer. The annoying little ditty was bombarding his skull in no time. It was a cat. Shitting a rainbow. With the body of a cherry Pop-Tart. In space. This must have been what mind blowing was like. Fran knew that a few of his colleagues were still asleep. Especially Bel.
What better way to wake them up!
Fran placed the marker at the beginning of the video, unplugged the earphones, turned on the surround sound, cranked the volume past high, and then looked back towards Levi.
"Hey, you." Levi barely budged, but he gave Fran a glance to show that he was paying attention. "Do you think Boss would get angry if I~did this?"
The song blared through the Varia HQ, the beginning slightly confusing the people who were awake. Then the 'Nyan' started. Fran looked back at the computer screen and promptly favorited "Nyan Cat". Then he watched as Levi's eyebrow twitched in confusion. Lussuria was dancing along to the music, and Squalo…
Well, does his wrath need any introduction?
"VOOOOOIII! TURN THAT FUCKING SHIT OFF! IT'S ANNOYING!" Squalo roared from the kitchen.
"Get in the spirit, shark commander. It's fun!" Fran (unenthusiastically) waved his hands in the air to show that it was indeed "fun".
Then he got knifed.
"Hey, Froggy! The Prince was still asleep, and you're blasting that crap!" Bel was grinning, but there were angry veins protruding from his skin. Angry veins meant a stabbed Fran.
"Get in the spirit, Sempai. Wheee." Fran once again slowly waved his arms back and forth, only to get five more knives in his frog hat.
"The Prince is merciful, so you have until the count of three to turn that off…"
Just then, the song faded out. Bel and the other patrons that were awake nodded and muttered in relief (all except for Lussuria, who wanted it to play again). Squalo continued into the kitchen for his cereal, and Bel came down the stairs, demanding that Lussuria make him pancakes. Levi tossed a hand over his forehead, and all seemed to be going okay.
Until it started again.
When Bel was busy demanding fluffy whole wheat pancakes, Fran had taken to opportunity to drag the video marker aaall the way to the beginning. Lussuria danced into the kitchen, and Fran was met with a face full of yellow fin tuna. No doubt, that was Squalo's doing.
"Ooooww." Fran called, loud enough for Squalo to hear.
"I SAID TURN IT OFF!" Levi could have sworn Squalo's yell made the ground shake.
"Boss is going to wake up," Bel said wearily, "And then we'll be in deep—"
"Shit. You pieces of trash are in deep shit." Xanxus was standing at the top of the staircase, already dressed and menacing. "FROG SCUM, turn that shit off. I've heard it twice. Turn. It. Off."
"You got it, Boss. After this part though, 'cuz it's my favorite."
Xanxus started to come down the stairs, his right hand on the handle of his gun. Fran was still waving in tune to the music, his face just as unreadable as ever. Instead of taking the gun out and shooting Fran like everyone thought Xanxus would…
He went and pistolwhipped the Mist Ring user. Fran fell off of the computer chair, and Xanxus slammed the handle of the gun into the computer screen. All everyone heard was a good bit of static.
"G-good morning, Boss!" Levi said, springing up from his position on the couch.
"Make sure we get a new computer. And keep Frog Scum away."
With that, Xanxus went into the kitchen to acquire nourishment for his rage. Bel just laughed, and poked Fran's hat repeatedly with the sharp, pointy end of his knife while holding a plate of pancakes.
"Ushishishi~. Want to know a fun fact, Froggy?" Bel mockingly sang, still poking (torturing) Fran.
"Humor me, fake prince." Fran drawled, feeling the right side of his face go numb.
Bel promptly shoved a knife into Fran's hat, and then stood up, heading towards his room to eat. "Pancakes are better than fucking Pop-Tarts."
A/N: Yep, I stopped writing a bit of my original stories and am now addicted to crack. KHR! Varia!crack that is. I love writing for these guys; they're so loud and...disruptive. Yet, I might have made them OOC. If I have, it's a sad thing because I've read so many fanfictions about them that I could write a book. But instead of book writing, I'm writing about them reacting to Nyan Cat. And general popular events and things that have been going on. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!