Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; its characters, or a yellow Porsche. –sigh-
Alice, read this carefully. You will not throw this away. You will not burn this. And you will
read it carefully.
1. You may not kidnap Bella against Edward's will.
2. You may not shackle Belle to your bathroom counter after the aforementioned kidnapping.
3. You are not allowed to "beautify" Jasper.
……again.
4. You may not steal Bella's clothes while she is asleep.
5. Then replace them before she wakes up.
……it freaks her out.
5. You may not dye Rosalie's hair red.
6. Or brown…
7. Because you think she looks stupid as a blonde.
8. You may not glue purple faux fur to Emmett's favorite football jersey because "it's all the rage".
9. You may not sing in the shower……..it hurts our ears.
10. You are not allowed to recite Shakespeare during our hunting trips……….its overly creepy.
11. You may not break Esme's lamps for the sake of shopping when Carlisle freezes your credit card accounts.
12. You may not threaten to kill Rosalie if she refuses to go shopping with you
13. You will not found an Alice Fan Club………it's vain…….and creepy.
14. You will not replace all of Carlisle's medical references with fashion magazines.
15. You will not threaten to throw Jasper to the mob of screaming Fan girls if he won't go shopping with you.
16. You may not corner Emmett and force him to play Truth or Dare with you… it scares him.
17. You may not recite the Declaration of Independence for four days straight in you head….It annoys Edward.
18. You will not steal Edward's favorite CDs and offer to sell them back to him.
19. You shall not set up a mini-mall in your room again
20. And force everyone to go "shopping"
21. And then give everyone makeovers against there will.
22. You will not redecorate Esme's kitchen while she is away……again.
23. You may not steal the remote controle while Emmett is watching TV.
24. And then tell him that the evil penguins took it.
25. You will not replace Edward's piano with a Bass Cello.
26. You will not hide Rosalie's hairdryers
27. Or steal her favorite Stiletto heels when you have a vision of her wearing them.
Alice, reread this, and do not go against it okay? Okay.
-Edward
Thank you to every one who has reviewed! R&R! ;)