Broken in Half
Fanfics story
Mediator
Continued after Haunted
Suze loves Jesse, she knows that much. But what about Paul? Suze is starting to realize the truth about Jesse and her. She starts to realize that she needs a real boyfriend... but that won't stop her from loving a ghost.
Chapter 1
Later on, that night in my room, I slowly took in the words Jesse had said before. "You need to be with someone your family and friends can actually see. You need to be with someone who can grow old with you. You need to be with someone alive." I knew that Jesse loved me... only, where could it go?
Thankfully, Jesse was not sitting on the windowseat to read my thoughts, or to see the tears flowing silently down my cheeks. He had have to move to the rectory right away, leaving me alone in my room. God, I hate crying! I was crying because I knew that Jesse was right, but also, because I knew that the only other boy who actually likes me was, well... you can guess. And that guy would like nothing better than to hook up with me, if you know what I mean.
I suddenly realized what Father Dom and Jesse had been saying. And especially what Paul had said. I remembered how I felt that day when Paul kissed me. It was the best feeling in the world. Well, second best. Soon enough, Jesse was going to figure out what was keeping him tied down to earth, and he would be gone. But Paul wouldn't. Paul would be here still... waiting for Jesse to be wiped off the face of the earth. Waiting for me to forget him. Waiting for me.
I needed to talk to Jesse. That was the only way. I jumped off my bed of pain and ran down the stairs faster than you can say "reincarnation". Sirens were going off in my head, but just as well, I heard two voices. You know, kind of like in those cartoons, where you have one angel voice and one devil voice. I heard them clearly as I sped through Carmel on my bike.
"Suze, how stupid can you get?" said the devil "You're going to tell Jesse that you like Paul aswell? It will totally bum him out!"
"Aw come on Suze!" said the angel "You have got to tell him the truth. He knows this won't go anywhere, now make him realize he was right. But going out with Paul Slater? I mean, come on! He's like the devil!"
"Hey, watch it!" cried the devil. Well, ok maybe I'm getting a little caught up, but whatever.
Soon enough I arrived in front of the rectory. I ran to the door, shook the doorknocker frantically. To my surprise, Father Dom was the answer to my call.
"Susannah! What in heaven's name are you doing here?" he cried. "It's two o'clock in the morning!"
"I know, only I have to see Jesse" I pleaded. And without waiting for an answer, I pushed past dear old Father Dom, who was looking pretty disgruntled, and ran up the long staircase. I was pretty sure of which room Jesse was in, even though I had only been to the rectory once.
I remembered the little cot in the empty, lonely, somber bedroom at the rectory, and immidietly I knew it was Jesse's room. Before I flung open the door, I heard that little voice in my head. The little voice that, last January, had said to give Jesse time to move out. The voice that I had avoided telling my mom's therapist about.
"Suze, you cant tell him. Don't!" it yelled. One part of me wanted to follow this voice, but the other part wanted to talk, and badly. So, what else was there left to do? I flung open the door with all my force, to see a surprised Jesse sitting in an armchair with a book in his hands.
"Nombre de Dios" he breathed at me. "Susannah, what are you doing here?"
"Jesse" I whispered. Even to hear words from his lips made me melt on the spot. "I'm sorry... um, can I sit down?" Jesse quickly got to his feet, gentleman that he is.
"Of course Querida." He came to sit next to me on the cot. "Susannah, what's wrong?" He said this, on account of my eyes filling up with tears. Not tears of sadness, or hope. But tears of guilt.
"Jesse... do you think it's possible to love two people at once?" I asked quietly. Oh no, I thought. It had come out way too fast. Way too fast. Jesse was so surprised by my forwardness, that he got up and staggered backwards into the armchair, as if someone had pushed him. I looked into his eyes, and saw that they were filled with hurt.
"Susannah... I, what do you mean?" He looked at me questioningly.
"Jesse, you're a ghost, and... well, I'm human. I mean, I breathe, I eat, I sleep. And I know I ... well, I love you." Oh my god, he is going to freak, I thought to myself. I had used the L word! I knew I had said the wrong thing, since Jesse looked down into his hands that were being balanced by his elbows on his knees. "I do, I really do, but where can it go?" I wanted to know.
Then, to my amazement, Jesse looked up from his hands. Immidietly, the tears started pouring harder from my eyes, because when Jesse looked up, his near-black eyes were flooded with tears. Real tears. But he wasn't letting any of them fall. And it was my fault. My own stupid fault.
"You..." Jesse seemed lost for words. "You... You love another?" He asked softly. Secretly, I wished I had never even met Paul.
"I'm sorry Jesse. I'm so, so sorry. But you said it yourself, before, in the cemetery–" But Jesse cut me off.
"AND THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO YOU?" he bellowed. The tears had not yet fallen from his eyes, but now they were rippled with anger. "WHAT WE HAD, ALL WE HAD? I CANT BELIEVE YOU, YOU–"then Jesse called me something horrible in Spanish, probably something bad, because his tone was not exactly happy. But I guess I deserved it. So I sat back down on the cot and just looked at him, tears falling hard from my eyes.
And that's when Jesse, in utter disbelief of what he had just called me, even in Spanish, fell to his knees, his head in his hands, muttering things to himself. I kind of understood it, since they teach us Spanish at school. It was something along the lines of what he had just called me, and how disappointed he was with himself of the horrible name he had addressed me as. I realized, right then and there, that Jesse was the one who needed comforting, not me. So quietly, I fell to my knees as well, in front of Jesse, and removed his hands from his face. Jesse let me do this without a word. Then he looked into my eyes, and I met his gaze with a guilty one of my own. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'm sorry" I whimpered. Thank god I was wearing waterproof mascara. "Is it possible to love two people at once?" I asked him again. "Is it?" I got an answer, but it wasn't from Jesse's lips. It was coming from behind me.
"No." Paul Slater said. "You have to choose."
Fanfics story
Mediator
Continued after Haunted
Suze loves Jesse, she knows that much. But what about Paul? Suze is starting to realize the truth about Jesse and her. She starts to realize that she needs a real boyfriend... but that won't stop her from loving a ghost.
Chapter 1
Later on, that night in my room, I slowly took in the words Jesse had said before. "You need to be with someone your family and friends can actually see. You need to be with someone who can grow old with you. You need to be with someone alive." I knew that Jesse loved me... only, where could it go?
Thankfully, Jesse was not sitting on the windowseat to read my thoughts, or to see the tears flowing silently down my cheeks. He had have to move to the rectory right away, leaving me alone in my room. God, I hate crying! I was crying because I knew that Jesse was right, but also, because I knew that the only other boy who actually likes me was, well... you can guess. And that guy would like nothing better than to hook up with me, if you know what I mean.
I suddenly realized what Father Dom and Jesse had been saying. And especially what Paul had said. I remembered how I felt that day when Paul kissed me. It was the best feeling in the world. Well, second best. Soon enough, Jesse was going to figure out what was keeping him tied down to earth, and he would be gone. But Paul wouldn't. Paul would be here still... waiting for Jesse to be wiped off the face of the earth. Waiting for me to forget him. Waiting for me.
I needed to talk to Jesse. That was the only way. I jumped off my bed of pain and ran down the stairs faster than you can say "reincarnation". Sirens were going off in my head, but just as well, I heard two voices. You know, kind of like in those cartoons, where you have one angel voice and one devil voice. I heard them clearly as I sped through Carmel on my bike.
"Suze, how stupid can you get?" said the devil "You're going to tell Jesse that you like Paul aswell? It will totally bum him out!"
"Aw come on Suze!" said the angel "You have got to tell him the truth. He knows this won't go anywhere, now make him realize he was right. But going out with Paul Slater? I mean, come on! He's like the devil!"
"Hey, watch it!" cried the devil. Well, ok maybe I'm getting a little caught up, but whatever.
Soon enough I arrived in front of the rectory. I ran to the door, shook the doorknocker frantically. To my surprise, Father Dom was the answer to my call.
"Susannah! What in heaven's name are you doing here?" he cried. "It's two o'clock in the morning!"
"I know, only I have to see Jesse" I pleaded. And without waiting for an answer, I pushed past dear old Father Dom, who was looking pretty disgruntled, and ran up the long staircase. I was pretty sure of which room Jesse was in, even though I had only been to the rectory once.
I remembered the little cot in the empty, lonely, somber bedroom at the rectory, and immidietly I knew it was Jesse's room. Before I flung open the door, I heard that little voice in my head. The little voice that, last January, had said to give Jesse time to move out. The voice that I had avoided telling my mom's therapist about.
"Suze, you cant tell him. Don't!" it yelled. One part of me wanted to follow this voice, but the other part wanted to talk, and badly. So, what else was there left to do? I flung open the door with all my force, to see a surprised Jesse sitting in an armchair with a book in his hands.
"Nombre de Dios" he breathed at me. "Susannah, what are you doing here?"
"Jesse" I whispered. Even to hear words from his lips made me melt on the spot. "I'm sorry... um, can I sit down?" Jesse quickly got to his feet, gentleman that he is.
"Of course Querida." He came to sit next to me on the cot. "Susannah, what's wrong?" He said this, on account of my eyes filling up with tears. Not tears of sadness, or hope. But tears of guilt.
"Jesse... do you think it's possible to love two people at once?" I asked quietly. Oh no, I thought. It had come out way too fast. Way too fast. Jesse was so surprised by my forwardness, that he got up and staggered backwards into the armchair, as if someone had pushed him. I looked into his eyes, and saw that they were filled with hurt.
"Susannah... I, what do you mean?" He looked at me questioningly.
"Jesse, you're a ghost, and... well, I'm human. I mean, I breathe, I eat, I sleep. And I know I ... well, I love you." Oh my god, he is going to freak, I thought to myself. I had used the L word! I knew I had said the wrong thing, since Jesse looked down into his hands that were being balanced by his elbows on his knees. "I do, I really do, but where can it go?" I wanted to know.
Then, to my amazement, Jesse looked up from his hands. Immidietly, the tears started pouring harder from my eyes, because when Jesse looked up, his near-black eyes were flooded with tears. Real tears. But he wasn't letting any of them fall. And it was my fault. My own stupid fault.
"You..." Jesse seemed lost for words. "You... You love another?" He asked softly. Secretly, I wished I had never even met Paul.
"I'm sorry Jesse. I'm so, so sorry. But you said it yourself, before, in the cemetery–" But Jesse cut me off.
"AND THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO YOU?" he bellowed. The tears had not yet fallen from his eyes, but now they were rippled with anger. "WHAT WE HAD, ALL WE HAD? I CANT BELIEVE YOU, YOU–"then Jesse called me something horrible in Spanish, probably something bad, because his tone was not exactly happy. But I guess I deserved it. So I sat back down on the cot and just looked at him, tears falling hard from my eyes.
And that's when Jesse, in utter disbelief of what he had just called me, even in Spanish, fell to his knees, his head in his hands, muttering things to himself. I kind of understood it, since they teach us Spanish at school. It was something along the lines of what he had just called me, and how disappointed he was with himself of the horrible name he had addressed me as. I realized, right then and there, that Jesse was the one who needed comforting, not me. So quietly, I fell to my knees as well, in front of Jesse, and removed his hands from his face. Jesse let me do this without a word. Then he looked into my eyes, and I met his gaze with a guilty one of my own. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'm sorry" I whimpered. Thank god I was wearing waterproof mascara. "Is it possible to love two people at once?" I asked him again. "Is it?" I got an answer, but it wasn't from Jesse's lips. It was coming from behind me.
"No." Paul Slater said. "You have to choose."