Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything what you can recognize from the books. I do however own the plot of this story but I don't have profits because of it unless you count improving my English as a profit.

Title: Good, Bad and Very Bad.

Characters: James, Harry/Sirius.

Summary: James Potter always thought that he had a sense of humour. Life decided to prove him wrong.

Rating: Teen/PG13, Slash

Author's note: I read about this joke somewhere and I decided that it was wonderful plot for a little Sirry ficlet. There is not enough of Sirry out there - yeah I know, you are stuck with a weirdo who loves gay pairings as much as hetero ones. Did I ever told anyone that the first slash pairing which got me hooked up was Harry/Sirius? I mean, in the first moment I was kinda freaked out but later it made a sense, you know? And since I didn't wrote Sirry for something which feels like ages here it is. Proof read, it's too small for bothering my beta right now - and she has a lot to beta read right now.

He heard that joke for the very first time at his bachelor's party. A joke about good, bad and very bad. It went like that:

Good: Your son has a date...

Bad: ...with a man...

Very bad: ...who happens to be your best friend.

He heard it another few times after he married Lily and Harry was born. It was still funny and it made him smile but he never told it to anyone. He simply acknowledged it, buried somewhere deep in his mind and continued living his life.

Good: Your son has a date...

James tried to not felt bothered every time he asked his son about girls and Harry shrugged him off like pestering fly saying that he is too busy with studying and Quidditch to chase after girls.

That's why he was happy when Harry announced to him, and Lily, during breakfast on the eve of his eighteenth birthday that he had a date tonight. James was genuinely happy because he finally knew his son was normal teenager boy and like any normal teenage boy he was dating, someone.

"You will bring her around, right Harry?" Lily asked quickly, thrilled as much as James was that their little boy was growing up.

"Yeah, someday, maybe," Harry mumbled.

They didn't came back to this conversation that day.

Bad: ...with a man...

Harry's eighteenth birthday was spectacular. Harry's friends from Hogwarts were over, few people from James's team came too and of course Remus and Sirius made it too. Harry looked happy, the guests were having fun. The party was fabulous. Until James found sniffling Ginny Weasley hiding on the bench behind three bushes of Lily's favourite red roses. He immediately went to her, sat down on the bench and tried to comfort her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked sympathetically.

"Rejection," she answered tearfully.

"Who rejected you?" James asked genuinely concerned. "Was it Neville? Or maybe that boy Dean?"

"Neither," she sniffled. "It was Harry."

'Harry rejected Ginny?' James loved red-heads, a certain one who gone by the name of Lily, and he would be very happy if his son happened to share his own taste, that's why Ginny's statement throw him off a bit.

"Maybe he already has eyes on a other girl," he said quickly.

"Try a boy. McGonagall caught him snogging sixth-year Prefect from Ravenclaw in a broom-closet at the beginning of the school year. Because he is of age she told him that she won't write to you unless she will catch him again," Ginny mumbled.

Harry did... what? Did his hearing got worse with age or did he really heard the girl saying that Harry snogged another boy? Ginny was probably upset about his rejection and maybe that's why... No, his mind felt too disturbed to simply forget it so he quickly excused himself and went to search Harry.

He found him in the kitchen, laughing at the joke which Sirius just said, Remus was there too, he was laughing like a maniac. James quickly motioned at his friends too leave the kitchen and sat on the opposite chair to Harry's.

"I heard a weird story tonight from Ginny Weasley. It involves you, sixth-year Ravenclaw, broom-closet and McGonagall. Care to enlighten me?" he asked unceremoniously.

Harry sighed heavily before he answered, "Duncan Smith, we had few dates during my fifth-year... We fell off at the beginning of the last school year, two days after McGonagall caught us."

"So you are..." James didn't dared to finish, he didn't wanted to finish.

"Gay?" Harry supplied quickly. "Very much so. Yesterday I was on the date with a man too. Now will you excuse me dad, I wanted to ask Sirius about Auror training if you don't mind," he said and before James had even a chance to reply he left the kitchen.

Very bad: ...who happens to be your best friend.

It was three days after Harry's birthday party and James was contemplating the beauty of their garden – that's what he told to Lily when he decided to come here to sulk. His son was gay. His only son liked men. His only son wouldn't give him grandkids he always wanted to have. Fucking shit, damn it. And on the top of that tonight Harry had another date ... and was running pretty late.

He contemplated various possibilities: sending Harry to a whore-house to get the good taste of pleasure one could have with a woman was currently James's favourite one. He was about to come with few more when he saw them.

They were coming down the road and getting closer to the house. Harry and a man James couldn't recognise from the distance. They were laughing and talking. Man's arm was draped around Harry's shoulder. They looked awfully comfortable.

He could change in his Animagus form of course, but his antlers would be a dead giveaway and he didn't wanted it. He wanted to get closer so he could get the name of the guy, which would allow him to set a revenge together with Sirius and Remus on the man. Nobody was turning his son gay and lived to tell the tell, damn it!

They stopped in front of the gates to the garden by the time James made it on his hands and knees to the bush of roses from behind which he could heard their conversation and spy them without getting caught.

The man was tall, dark-hired and lanky. The fact that he was only seeing the man's back almost made James hex the man, just for the taste of things to come. But he decided against it, for now.

"He won't be happy, you know that he won't," Harry said quietly.

"Does it makes you unhappy?" asked the man and James could swear on his parents' bones that he heard the voice before.

"Frankly, no. In fact I don't give a damn. I'm an adult now and I can make my own decision and he should better know it," Harry huffed.

The man chuckled before he added, "Did I told you today that you are even more handsome when you are pissed off?"

"No you did not," Harry smiled at the man. "But seriously. You should have seen him at the party, he fucking flipped!" Harry was huffy again. "I don't want to think what he would do if he knew that it is you I'm seeing."

"Knowing James?" asked the voice which started sounding in James's ears like one of the voice he really didn't wanted to hear in this kind of conversation with his son, after a date.

"Probably strip you by the balls," Harry muttered.

"I'm not worried. I'm an Auror, he's a Chaser. Piece of cake for me. Besides I have a years of practice under my belt, he doesn't," the voice sounded seductively.

"What kind of practice we are talking about?" Harry asked and even to James it sounded like a shameless flirting.

"Ass-kicking one my dear Harry. Although I can change subject to more pleasant kind of practice if you want," said the man.

"You're welcome, Sirius," Harry grinned.

Sirius! The fucking git! These saddest excuse of his best friend was dating his only son? How, fucking, he dared?

James was so surprised by finding the identity of Harry's date that he stopped for a moment paying attention to these two. By the time he shook off initial shock Sirius had Harry pinned against the wall and Harry looked thoroughly snogged.

"I rethought your proposition," said Harry with a grin. "I decided to spend the night."

"Good idea Harry," Sirius said cheerfully.

They disapparated before James had a chance to made his presence known.

The joke about good, bad and very bad quickly made its way to the front of his mind and he huffed. It wasn't even fucking funny, nope, not funny at all.

Finite

Awaiting criticism. Flames, however, will be used for toasts, if you will try to flame me for writing slash - I mean people look at my profile I'm bi-writer (as in writer of both het and slash).