Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a narrator who took it upon herself to screw up every story she could get her hands on. With complete and utter disregard for the opinions of others, authors and fans alike, she made it her mission to corrupt any good plot line or character development she had the means to. With the help of her tech-savvy computer and her skills of destroying anything she put her mind to, she quickly set to work on annoying the crap out of everybody. These are her stories.

Mandy stared lovingly into Billy's eyes. "There's something I've got to say," she began in a mesmerized voice, "You're always with me even when you're far away. Talking to you on my cell," she smiled, her eyes going misty with fantasies, "Just the sound of your voice makes my heart melt. Oh, Billy, it's true. I'm all about you."

Billy's tongue slid idly out of his mouth, coming to rest on his chin. "Duh, did you say something, Mandy?"

Mandy giggled sweetly. "Oh, darling, you are so funny! Pretending you didn't hear me confess my undying feelings for you. I just love the way you are."

Billy's brow furrowed. "Uh, Mandy? Are you okay?"

She giggled sweetly again, her perfect smile touching her eyes so beautifully. "Of course I'm okay. I'm with you, and nothing could make me happier."

Billy stared at her for a full minute, then jumped up in excitement and ran to the kitchen. "PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!"

Mandy hopped out of her seat and followed him slowly, a glazed-over look in her eyes as tiny pink hearts popped continuously around her face.

Billy shoved his face into a freshly-baked pie as his mother sat it on the table. He lifted his head, screaming in pain as the blue goo scalded his face. Then he licked it off and continued to eat the remaining pie in the same, repetitive fashion. After he had finished, Mandy wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her chest in an affectionate hug.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Billy cried, "Has the narrator completely lost her mind? This is so not canon!"

"PRECISELY!" An evil voice cackled, followed by a demonic, "MWAHAHA!"

Just then, the Grim Reaper burst through the kitchen door, eyes quite literally flaming. "MINE!" he bellowed, jabbing the pole of his scythe between the two tweens and forcing them apart.

"Grim!" Billy yelled happily, "Boy, am I glad to see you."

Ignoring the boy, Grim grabbed Mandy by the shoulders, forcing her to focus on him. "I thought you said you loved me!" he cried, grasping her in his bony hands.

"Not anymore," she said matter-of-factly, "You just couldn't give up your feelings for Boogie, so I moved on."

Grim's boney jaw flapped. "What he and I had was nothing compared to what I feel for you. Please, I'm begging you, please please! Come back to me."

Mandy looked him full in the eye sockets, tears beginning to form in her own. She burst into tears, throwing her arms around him in a heartfelt embrace. "Oh, I could never stay mad at you. I love you so so much. I'll never leave you again. Never!" They promptly began making out.

Billy's eyes widened in horror. "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Then he shouted at the ceiling, "Hey, this is a kids' show! What do you think you're doing?"

The narrator, in reply, suddenly sent Jeff the spider walking onto the scene.

"Mi amore," Jeff said in a Russian accent, embracing Billy's mom, and they began smooching.

Billy screamed in horror, his eyes and tongue shooting out of his face, and he fled the scene.

"Heheh," the narrator chuckled evilly, "Your mom is making out with your son."

Caught up in the heat of passion, Grim scooped Mandy up in his arms and tore a portal in the wall, jumping swiftly through it.

Somewhere, off in the distance, a dog barked.

The End