Hotdamncarlospena is my vice, my guilty pleasure, the proof of my cargan (in)sanity. Proof? Go to her tumblr because you'll become a hotdamncarlospena addict. And this is her idea and I just want to help alleviate her craving of Kames angst because she fills my cargan craves.

A Cold Day, a Warm Touch

A visible stream of air swirls through the open space, blowing brown leaves across the park. A calm, almost silent blanket covers the empty playground. The horses on large, thick metal coils sway in motion to the wind as if invisible ghost children linger for a happy time. The seats of the swings fly, the steel chains creating an eerie, metallic echo. And a single sob undertones the abandoned park.

Under an autumn tree, a brunette pulls his legs to his chest, breathing out pained breaths. Knees cover his once beautiful eyes. Arms fold over his silken dress pant. His back arches, wrinkling his expensive suit. But the material possession, the vain beauty, all of it doesn't matter anymore since the one person that did matter was taken from his life. The one guy that ever meant something to him. The one guy that saved his life.

…

"No, don't go!" James screams, holding onto Kendall's arm in the kitchen. BANG! BANG! Both boys drop to the floor, covering their ears. Tears fall from the fear stricken brunette's eyes.

"No James." Kendall turns around, staring at the bullet grazed cut on his boyfriend's pale arm. Blood oozes down, coloring outside the thin straight wound. "I won't let you get hurt anymore." The leader adds, opening all the drawers in the kitchen.

"No!" James yells, realizing what Kendall is doing. He crawls, sobbing, begging on hands and knees for Kendall to stop his search. "I won't let you. The police will come. They will save us."

BANG! A bullet pierces through the wooden walls. James shrieks again, fingers grip tightly around the hem of Kendall's denim pant. Kendall freezes for a second before kicking off his boyfriend's hold and continuing searching for a knife.

"Don't be a hero!" James shouts loudly, the crying masking his hurt voice. "Don't be you, Kendall!"

"And be what?" Kendall responses to his stutter, face filled with fear. He wipes the sweaty, matted golden locks from his dirty green eyes, holding a cleaver in one hand. James' eyes water, staring back up at his boyfriend. "Be what, James? I am not going to let those fucking robbers take you from me."

"But you're going to let them take you!" James jumps up, arms wrapping around Kendall. Thought of throwing the knife away crosses his mind but he trembles in the blonde's arms. Never once has Kendall let James take the lead, always defending him, protecting him from the real world. "I-I-"

"Don't James." Kendall caresses his cheek, wiping off the trails of tears. "As long as I had you, I am happy."

James nods before Kendall swoops in, stealing a final kiss, a final breath of James' intoxicating scent.

"I'm sorry." James weakly says, crying profusely, feeling horrible that in the last moment together, he can't be a man and protect the one person who protected him everyday.

"Don't be." Kendall whispers into his ear before pushing him to the ground. "I love you." The leader dashes to the door, locking it behind so his lover will not follow.

BANG! BANG!

"KENDALL!"

…

The wind blows his brown locks away from his brown eyes, mocking him, reminding him of Kendall in the kitchen. He slides his legs against the grassy plain, slipping into his memory of how he sat on the floor screaming Kendall's names. His eyes, dried from the hours of sobbing, stare into the trees in front, the darkness taking away the green hue from the leaves; taking away the green eyes from his life.

"I need you." James whimpers, a few more unknowingly remaining tears falls. He wipes his eyes with his arm, seeing the scar slashed diagonally. The red trench in his skin makes him choke, his throat closing up in deep suffering. Touching the scar with his other hand, fingers gliding over the cut, he feels warmth radiating, contrasting the cold air as if his Kendall is here with him; still here holding him.

"Why can't I be poor?" He shouts, blaming himself for the accident. "Why couldn't they rob someone else? Why did they have to steal my Kendall?" James punches the ground, burying his head in his knee again.

"James?" He slowly looks up, revealing his puffy eyes to his two callers. Carlos and Logan, shifting on the balls of their feet, stare sympathetically back. Their hands are folded behind them, standing three feet away from each other.

"You don't have to pretend like you're not boyfriends for me!" James states, eyes welled up with anger from his friends' pity. "I don't need your sympathy. Go back to holding hands, kissing, doing whatever. I don't care!"

The other two step back, fearful of the tall brunette's state. "James, we are going to light the candles for Kendall in front of the church in ten minutes." Logan says, scooting towards his boyfriend, hiding slightly behind him.

"Just come when you're ready." Carlos whispers, tugging Logan to leave.

"See you." They say, turning around, fleeing the park, giving their best friend some space.

James returns back to his position, staring at the scar. He wallows, sinking into his self-pity, thinking that he is weak; he is unable to protect his boyfriend. "I suck." He cries.

Suddenly another gust of wind blows and a tiny, still green leaf cascades onto his cut. Holding the piece of life in his hand reminds him why he chose to hide from the funeral in the park under this particular tree. This is where Kendall kissed him for the first time, confessing his love, his faithful undying love to him. This is the spot where Kendall promised to keep James safe no matter what and he never broke that promise.

A sniffle escapes James' mouth as his presses the cool leaf to his lips. "I love you, Kendall." He repeats for the hundredth time this day. "I will never forget you." He stares ahead seeing tiny lit candles across the street by the church. Patting his grass covered pant, he sighs as he gets up. He gently places the green sheet on the middle of his palm, letting the wind pick it up. He watches it go, flying out of sight.

"I will never forget you."

I hope you like it. Kames angst is hard to write but hotdamncarlospena wants one. ;]

Hey hotdamncarlospena, if you're reading, you better post more pics of Carlos' nips XDXDXD and cargan too! ;]

Please review =]