Always look on….
The hole where Hidan is buried.
Hidan´s head had been months dguing with his teeth to find the exit, he was going to get his revange! For the glory of Jashin of course.
He could almost see the light of the surface and with one final push Hidan(or better be said his head) was able to reach the surface to find himself infront of a deer that was smeling him before turning and raising a bit it´s tail.
-Dont you dare...-whispered Hidan as he tried to move(ok roll, it´s not the same but the head has to move somehow). And before the deer could began to "expell the wastes of the body" Hidan rolled-charged and bit the deer´s leg with rightfull fury and Jashinist berserker fury making the deer yelp and kick, sending Hidan´s head flying throw the sky.
-Oh Jashin I can fly!-squealed Hidan´s head in delight as he flew through the clouds at full speed until he landed right in the middle of a wasteland.
The place was full of rocks with no plants nearby, the smoke of camp fires in the distance and only some birds in the sky. Hidan was now sincerely A BIT depressed. He was in the middle of nowhere, is body in the Nara forest fragmented in millions of pieces and Jashin wasn´t answering his calls for help.
-This is bullshit...-said Hidan this time really depressed.
-Cheer up Hidan, you know what they say!
Hidan then noticed a figure beside him, with the akatsuki roab and no eyes but dark holes.
-Itachi? What the fuck happened with your eyes?-asked Hidan-Did Kakuzu finally sold them?
-No, I just have some familiar difficulties-said Itachi as he took Hidan´s head-Also now I am dead.
-So this is the jashinist heaven?-asked Hidan with a raised eyebrow-Then why are you here and where are the parties wine and...
-You are not dead, I was half-ressurected, that answers your questions?-said Itachi- Also you know what they say...
Suddenly Sasori appeared with a guitar and pulled some strings.
Sasori:*singuing* Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse…
Itachi: When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best, hey...
The rest of the Akatsuki suddenly appear making Hidan squeal in a not very manly way. They were all wearing tuxedos, yop-hats and canes.
All of the akatsuki: ...always look on the bright side of life... *whistles*
Always look on the light side of life...*whistles*
Kisame: If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
Deidara: When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
All: And...always look on the bright side of life... *whistles*
Always look on the light side of life... *whistles*
Zetsu: For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Kakuzu: Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
All: So always look on the bright side of death *whisltes*
Just before you draw your terminal breath *whistles*
Madara: Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
All of them while Hidan is looking at them with a WTF! face:
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
-And we did this espontaniously-said Itachi proudly looking to a rock nearby-What do you think Hidan?
Author´s note: Sorry, I couldn´t resist a blind Itachi joke after a Monty Python song.
-And I thought being underground was bad...-said Hidan with a sigh.
THE END
And that´s all folks :D