Her heart raced in this moment, and she wanted to say that it was out of fear, but she knew that internally that that was not the case.
She longed for the other even as she felt her come closer, prepared to slice her up, and cook her in to a tantalizing sweet.
Natalya wanted that; she wanted to please the other in some way even though she knew that it was wrong.
She fought back to rescue herself as she had never thought of herself as masochistic nor did she want to die this way and basically surrender her life.
Olivia stalked closer and pinned the other against the wall to start slicing her up, but she noticed the flushing of Natalya's face that while it should have been out of fear wasn't.
"What's the matter with you?" None of Olivia's victims have ever acted this way, and she found herself curious.
"Nothing." Natalya insisted to save the part of her that was behaving this way since she felt that it was wrong to want to be with someone that would certainly kill you or to want to die to please them.
Natalya hated herself and the fact that she could feel this way and want what any sane person wouldn't.
The Belorusian had never thought that she was masochistic even when she used to crush on her older brother that always rejected her and was kind of afraid of her.
She came across as nearly sadistic at times in other's eyes, but she had never found herself liking the feeling of heartbreak or being pushed aside or chased down to be killed and baked in to cupcakes.
Natalya was afraid of herself and what she'd do to be with this other woman, and how she managed to let her own self perservation dwindle and die like she would if this would keep going on.
The silver haired female watched the pink haired Brit as she pulled away with an annoyed facial expression and a disbelieving look.
"I could always call Luciano here to help me torture the information out of you." Olivia threatened.
Natalya realized that the thought of anyone else potentially harming her own person sickened her; 'Does this make me slightly masochistic or only masochistic around her?'
The Belorusian feared for her life, and knew that she should run away from the British female while she was distracted by annoyance though Natalya was glued to her spot.
Olivia frowned prettily when she received no response.
"Are you really giving me the silent treatment?" Olivia pouted at that, making Natalya long to kiss her even more, so she did.
All that kissing Olivia did was stab a knife through Natalya's back and make her faint.
Natalya woke up chained and locked in a pitch black room yet she knew her captor and part of her revelled in that while another part was frustrated by it.
She had never wanted to fall for someone dangerous and cruel, and all that she wanted was to be let free.
Natalya hated the thought of meeting the so called Luciano or of being tortured though a small part of her wouldn't mind it if Olivia was the one doing the torturing and that still scared her.
Rather than being tortured, Natalya just found Olivia quietly questioning why she had fallen in love with her.
Natalya did not know why as she had been drawn in by some aspect of Olivia's character or may be it was just an instant kind of attraction like those that she heard about, and she did not know Olivia all that well.
She wanted to be free of these horrid feelings that were definitely unhealthy for her, and she wanted to go back home yet none of those things seemed close to happening.
Olivia wasn't sure whether Natalya had become a sort of play toy for her or if she really did see something worth caring about in the other woman.
She found herself growing more and more curious about why Natalya would fall for her.
Natalya needed to eat at some point, so Olivia brought down cupcakes on the third day, and Natalya ate them with out asking questions.
She watched Olivia as she ate however, and something seemed to puzzle her mind; Olivia waited in silence for the Belorusian to ask questions.
"Is it masochistic to only be okay with one person harming you?" Natalya asked with tears in her eyes as if this was the end of the rope for her.
"No, I think it's just stupid." Olivia answered simply and watched the Belorusian, curiously.
"Can I leave?" Natalya asked hopefully yet almost hopelessly as if it took the rest of her life for her to ask that.
"No." Olivia answered her as she was still deathly curious about the other woman.
"I may come back in the future." Natalya's eyes dulled at Olivia's answer and her current plea.
Olivia felt like she shouldn't, but she took pity on the other woman and released her.
Natalya was lost for a while as she tried everything to make her problem go away; she dated even.
It did not want to go away, so she prayed for strength even though she had never considered herself a religious kind of person.
One day, when they did meet again, Natalya was stronger.
It had been precisely five years, and Natalya had gotten to the point where she felt like she wouldn't be manipulated as she refused to have such a thing happen to her.
Natalya hated the fact that she still loved Olivia though things seemed to be much clearer these days.
She didn't love the Brit for being a murdering psychopath, she loved her for her seemingly kind nature that was a contrast to Natalya's one and for her cheeriness.
Natalya still struggled with certain aspects of herself, and the relationship between her and Olivia was far from perfect; what was stopping them from trying however?