Catastrophe 7
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.
One Shot
Farrah, the white-haired lioness heroine Persiana, was sitting on the couch, lying down like a cat. Her boyfriend Lance, the red-eyed hero known as Diablos, was busy scratching her ears. The two were sitting at the Titans East Mansion, waiting for some action. Speedy and Superboy were playing a video game, determined to out-do each other. Miss Martian, Supergirl, and Wonder Girl were busy talking and gossiping.
Outside, Catman, the love struck feline-themed villain, was standing outside the Mansion walls. He had a mega-phone in one hand and, oddly enough, a putter in the other. He smirked,
"I have the perfect plan this time to get my goddess."
He shouted at the top of his lungs into the megaphone,
"GGGGGGOOOODDDDDDEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The scream was so loud; the windows at the Mansion were shattered. This was followed by an irate scream, and several protests. Persiana shrieked,
"CATMAN! LEAVE ME ALONE!! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM TELLING YOU TO!!!! I'LL KILL YOU, I SWEAR!!!!"
Donna was holding back Farrah,
"Calm down, sister. You shall get your chance."
Diablos stood up,
"What do you want, Catman?"
Catman pointed the putter threateningly,
"You! You have stolen my bride from me, and I wish to win her back! I issue a challenge. The winner shall receive the goddess as their bride."
The red-eyed hero blinked,
"All right, what are we playing?"
Catman answered,
"We shall play…MINIATURE GOLF!"
At this, every one of the Titans blinked. Catman had finally lost his mind.
Farrah said,
"Miniature golf?"
She then rolled on the floor, laughing hysterically. Miss Martian scratched her head,
"What is this game, miniature golf?"
Roy explained,
"It's like regular golf, only all you do is put on a special obstacle course."
Lance shrugged,
"Catman, you do realize I will probably win this, right?"
The feline villain glared,
"How dare you! Meet me on the golf course and I shall smite you, rescue my bride, and we will have kittens!"
Later, at the miniature golf course…
The course Catman was talking about was an eighteen hole jungle-themed miniature golf course. There were numerous jungle animals and foliage, all artificial of course, with flowing water falls and hollow caves. Thanks to Diablos' telepathic abilities, the course would be vacant except for them and Catman for this challenge. Miss Martian was the official score keeper, a title she instantly giggled at. She said,
"All right, first hole…who wants to go first?"
Roy pulled out a coin,
"We can flip for it."
He tossed it and said,
"Call it."
Catman said,
"Tails."
He grinned lecherously at Persiana as he said it. Farrah rolled her eyes.
Roy looked at the coin,
"Heads; Diablos gets first honor."
Diablos stepped up to the tee-off area and, placing a red ball he got from the stand, made the first putt.
It was a hole-in-one.
Catman was stunned,
"You cheated!"
Diablos looked at him,
"My eyes didn't glow red. I didn't use my powers."
The feline grumbled and teed off with his green ball. His ball hit the rock, bounced around the fence post, and finally hit him in the man-hood. He stumbled, moaning,
"Man down."
Farrah smirked,
"I always knew I could bring you to your knees."
And, so it began. Diablos was teeing off, gaining some skilled putts. Most of his scores were relatively on par. Catman, after a disastrous start, was catching up, but, every time he came close to beating Diablos' score, something happened. One the fifth hole, where it was housed within a fake cave, the cave collapsed. On the sixth, when Catman's ball went in the water, pirahanas tried to bite him. On the eighth hole, one of the supposed ceramic cats came to life and mauled Catman. Superboy made a stupid joke and another ceramic cat mauled him.
On the ninth hole, the course was split half way with a water hazard. Diablos had the honor of going first and hit the ball hard enough to sail over the tiny river and onto the other side of the green. Catman tutted,
"Child's play."
He hit the ball and it too sailed over the tiny river. However, it hit Diablos' ball and the red ball went into the hole. Catman was stunned and he cursed,
"That's not fair!"
Miss Martian grinned,
"Hole in one for Diablos. The score for the front nine is Diablos is three strokes under par, while Catman is five strokes above."
The feline villain bent his club and shrieked,
"I can't take this any more! Die!"
He swung the club wildly in an attempt to hit the demonic-inspired hero. However, just as he was about to take the first swing, he slipped and fell into the water. The rest of Titans East just laughed silly. Catman surfaced and spat out water,
"This can't be any more humiliating."
He then noticed something in the water,
"Oh no. PIRANAHS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THEY'RE BITING ME!!!!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!!!"
Catman's screams of mercy could be heard for miles. Persiana grinned,
"Well, I guess Diablos wins by default, huh?"
The red-eyed hero shrugged,
"I suppose."
He then noticed the hungry look he was receiving. Farrah growled,
"How would you like to make my kittens, mate?"
Lance swallowed,
"Uh-oh. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! SHE'S NUTS!! SHE'S AFTER ME!!!"
The chase was on; Farrah chasing Lance all over town. Miss Martian picked up the golf ball and club and grinned,
"Now, I want to play."
Roy rolled his eyes,
"We could be here awhile. Might as well enjoy Catman's torment."
And so they did for the rest of the day.
End of One Shot.