Title: A Brief History of Orochimaru
Author: Lovesrainscent
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own these Naruto characters and stand to make no profit from posting this story.
Summary: Inspired by the 20 truths lj community. A few glimpses into Orochimaru's character that he would really prefer you not know.
A Brief History of Orochimaru
On the day Tsunade announced she was dating Dan both Orochimaru and Jiraiya had been stunned into silence. It had never occurred to either of the two of them that the three members of their team wouldn't always be together...just the three of them. Orochimaru wondered that if maybe Jiraiya hadn't tried so hard, or maybe if he himself had tried just a little, then perhaps Tsunade would have found what she needed with one of the two of them.
When Jiraiya stayed behind in Amegekure to train those three orphans, Orochimaru was making a simple statement of fact that it was nonsense for Jiraiya to try to save them – they were all going to die anyway. Still, there was a certain sting when he spoke the words that matched the sting he felt in his heart that Jiraiya wouldn't be coming back to Konoha to save him.
Contrary to the rumors around Konoha, it was not the deaths of his parents when he was a child that spurred him toward researching immortality. It was the death of Dan. He found that he was quite…angry…that Tsunade wouldn't smile anymore. He never knew where to direct that anger, so he just withdrew even more into his research.
He had been trained from a very young age to kill people – preferably as efficiently as possible. Therefore, Orochimaru didn't have any qualms when he began using some of the bodies for research, occasionally even before they were actually dead.
When a pregnant Tsunade showed up on his doorstep, shivering in a thunderstorm one night, he had of course let her stay. After all she was one of only two friends he had in the world. Once she told him who the father was, it occurred to him that those two friends had beaten him to immortality, they'd just achieved it the old-fashioned way. Tsunade had sworn him to silence, stayed for three days, then left one morning without saying a word. He never saw her again until their battle.
He would never tell anyone except Sarutobi that he was proud of his little gennin Anko. And he would never tell anyone, not even Sarutobi, but he wondered, if he waited just a little bit longer, until she was older, would she come to him? And could he, too, achieve immortality the old-fashioned way?
When he gave Anko her curse mark and told her to follow him if she had the strength, he had listened in the darkness for the longest time to hear her footsteps on the stone walkway. But the sound never came.
He was the last of the three legendary sannin to leave Konoha. After the battle with Jiraiya, when he had turned and limped away, he had strained so hard to listen for Jiraiya's footsteps following him just a little further. But he never heard a sound then, either. That's when he knew he had truly left everything behind.
Occasionally, when has taken up occupancy in a new body, there are vestiges of physical sensations from that person's old existence. The first time he took a female form, he was almost completely overcome by physical memories of how it felt to her to be held in her lover's embrace, broad shoulders, strong arms cinched tight around her waist. For many long nights after that, he would lie awake, thinking about Jiraiya and wondering a great many things.
Orochimaru meant it when he told Jiraiya and Tsunade that the nine tails brat would bring them more pain than they could imagine. Sarutobi-sensei had been so very good at keeping secrets that Jiraiya never knew Minato was his son by Tsunade and Tsunade never knew Naruto was Minato's child, her own grandson. Orochimaru thought about telling them as they faced each other in battle but realized that even he wasn't that much of a monster.
Sometimes he wonders about Kabuto's true parentage. It wouldn't surprise him if the boy was some bastard of Jiraiya's what with that white hair and all.
He likes the fact that Kabuto wears glasses. Something about that affectation reminds him that there is always something subtle separating the two of them.
When Kabuto offered him his own body as a replacement vessel, he was sorely tempted. But he needed the medical-nin for so many other purposes. Besides, there were better ways to possess that particular body.
Many people think he established Otogakure because he had been denied Konoha's Hokage-ship. They were wrong if they thought he did so because he coveted power. It was simply a means to an end, allowing him to form alliances with other nations and access to additional knowledge and jutsus.
He regrets that he didn't obtain the Sharingan earlier. It would have been so much simpler before the massacre - there were multiple wielders of it in the clan besides those Uchiha brats. Once acquired he could have developed the technique, strengthening it on his own. Orochimaru considers this his greatest strategic error.
Once, as he was passing through some backwater village, a grubby little orphan girl came up to him with tears in her eyes and the still warm body of a dead puppy in her arms. "Please sir, my dog is sick. Can you help him?" she had asked. He had just recently perfected the reanimation jutsu and for whatever reason, he performed it on the dog, using an unlucky squirrel as the sacrifice. To this day he has no idea why he did it. He supposes the answer must be 'because he could.'
Many people think his requirement that all his subjects, even the ones he trains personally such as Kabuto and Sasuke, call him Lord Orochimaru is just one more sign of his megalomania. They don't realize how the term sensei sticks in his throat, how it brings back memories of both Sarutobi and Anko, memories he'd rather shed like a snake skin if only he could.
The irony that his chosen lover has white hair like his former teammate's is not lost on him.
The irony that his chosen lover is an extraordinarily skilled medical ninja whose hands can be both gentle and healing, as well as lethal when necessary, is also not lost on him.
Sometimes he misses the two of them so much he wonders why he wants to live forever.
A/N: Originally written in "20 truths" format. The original is on my blog.