AN: It's really, really important to clarify three things. 1. If you have ever been a victim of sexual assault, please talk to someone. If you are afraid to tell your parents, school counselors or trusted teachers are good. Just tell someone you can trust, who won't laugh and will support you. If you need someone, please feel free to pm me. None of what happened is your fault. 2. What Kitty goes through is called hypersexualization and it is a documented reaction to a sexual assault. It's not overly common, but it does happen. 3. I have never been an assault victim. Everything in this is based on extensive research, but it a) will not be everyone's experience and b) isn't based on any experience I've had. It's not meant to be comprehensive or indicative of personal ties to the subject matter.
Now is not the time to panic Kitty, really. Get a hold of yourself! Kitty swallowed hard as her boyfriend of 3 weeks loomed over her. He was kissing her gently and started to explore under her clothes. She froze and struggled to control the fear rising within, but couldn't. "Please stop. I'm sorry, I can't. Just please stop." He pulled up immediately.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No. I just. I don't think I can do this. I'm really sorry." He shrugged.
"Don't be. It would be really cool to touch your boobs and stuff, but I get that you don't want to yet. It's cool. We are only in 8th grade anyway and my brother didn't kiss a girl until he was in high school."
They ended up breaking up a few weeks later when he got accepted to Dalton anyway.
Kitty wasn't sure she could stop her boyfriend this time. She'd tried everything: pointing out how old she was (14) versus how old he was (17- which he argued back just meant that he knew better), reminding him of her religion, even insisting that if he loved her, he would wait. Nothing was working. He kept insisting that he was tired of waiting and if she didn't sleep with him he would break up with her, so she caved. Dating a senior football player gave her protection in the vicious would of McKinley High until she could get onto the Cheerios as a regular team member instead of an alternate and if this was the price she had to pay, so be it. Even if she came home and cried after every time.
Sex, Kitty had learned, got you what you wanted, whatever that may be. So when she wanted to date the hottest guy in school, she offered him sex. When she wanted status bumps, she used sex. Even just flirting could get you a lot. Still, anytime she used her body to get what she wanted, anytime someone touched her, she still could barely contain her shudder. She would never feel anything other than his hands and his body and she had accepted that. She would never enjoy it, but she was more than willing to use it. After all, he had taken what he wanted, so could she.
AN: Please note that Kitty experiences two assaults in this version. The one Julie's brother commits and the one her boyfriend commits when she's a freshman. Coercion is not consent, everyone. If someone pressures you to have sex with them dump their sorry ass.