My very first NCIS story.
I was enjoying my Christmas gift to myself--Season 2 of NCIS--and was watching "Twilight" this morning before work. After watching, this little snippet was in my head all day long and felt that I just had to get it out there. I know we're deep into Season 6 now but hope no one minds the little trip to the past.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to NCIS nor the characters therein.
Grief and Guilt
By: Vanessa Sgroi
It's been weeks now since Kate's death—make that Kate's murder. I'm still having nightmares.
In them, I again feel the hot spatter of her blood against my face, gravity pulling inexorably at the sticky droplets until they trail down my cheek like viscous tears. I again taste the salty, slightly metallic tang of that crimson fluid on my tongue where a few errant drops found their way between my lips. In the preternaturally silent dream world, the thwack of the bullet meeting flesh and bone and the thud of Kate's body falling to the roof's rough surface sound much, much louder than they actually were that split second after Ari Haswari pulled that trigger.
Every time I finally allow myself to drop off to sleep, the brief respite ends wrenching despair. I wake, trembling, with a silent scream of "No!" on my lips.
I've not told anyone, not Gibbs, not Abby, not even the "Grief Counselor" otherwise known as the mandatory shrink. But I suspect, from some of the looks the boss has thrown in my direction, Gibbs somehow knows. He's perceptive like that.
Gibbs also knows that every moment of every day, I wish it had been me.
Fin