Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything.
Notes: Am finally getting back to my Loki/Fenris obsession. Might post more this month.
Life is Never Fair
-hajime
He flexed an arm, his hand desperately reaching for something that was still supposed to be within his grasp.
A name falls from his lips faintly.
"Fenris?"
No answer.
The young man didn't move.
Of course she wasn't there. What the hell did he expect? There was no way she'd stay after they'd –he'd- -
"Loki? Are you up yet?"
Iris.
"What is it?"
"Breakfast will be served. You go down stairs, okay? The others have been waiting for you."
"Give me six minutes."
"Okay, then. I'll go ahead."
It was only after the girl left that Loki decided to get out of bed and take a quick shower.
Funny.
He didn't notice how hot the water was until his skin turned an almost impossible shade of red.
The assassin smiled bitterly knowing that he's been thinking about a certain warlock again.
Do you believe in fate, Fenris?
Yes.
You believe fate had brought us here?
Yes.
…that fate made you fall for Chaos?
… was I so obvious?
…I knew there was something about the way you looked at the rune knight…
…
She didn't reply after that and Loki knew why.
There was nothing exceedingly blissful that night.
Just desperate touches and frantic need for companionship.
And Loki had never –never- felt so needed before. Not by anyone whom he cared about anyway.
He let out a long sigh as he stepped out of the bathroom and slipped into his usual outfit.
Dragging his feet all the way down to the dining room, he gathered all of what's left of his pride and wore his infamous poker expression.
Loki sat down between Chaos and Iris… just across Fenris.
He noticed her shoulders tense for a second before finishing her meal.
And that was the last interaction they had for the whole day.
The whole night however, was a different matter.
She called him to her. Again.
Iris and Chaos had been out that night, both saying something about finding something really important. But Fenris knew better.
An exchange of two glances later, the remaining couple was already on the bed, ready to satisfy whatever it is to be satisfied.
The girl moaned out a word and Loki responded to a name that was not his.
The breaking of his heart was so loud that for a moment, he thought he was going to be deaf the next morning.
But despite the hurt, he was still there.
He knew that it would only hurt her more if she was left alone tonight.
He stayed because he knew how it felt to care for someone who doesn't give a damn whether you live or die.He stayed because he knew exactly how it felt to call a name aloud at night and receive no response.
Loki was silent during and after the whole ordeal, assassin as he was. He simply allowed his head to rest on her bare chest as he did his best to catch his breath.
Silence.
Both did not wish to break at the sound of their own voices.
Fenris didn't want to drown in sorrow. Loki didn't want to be overwhelmed by desperation. So nobody had the courage to speak.
Fenris knew for a fact that Loki had been watching her closely. Too closely. She often caught him stealing glances from her. Even the way her hair swayed didn't go unnoticed under the scrutinizing stare of his aqua orbs. She knew the passion locked inside the assassin's gaze. She knew it all too well. And that was why she felt more secured around him. Because she knew – if not the whole world- that Loki would never do anything that would cause her harm. It was safe to play with him, knowing that he won't mind being hurt for her.
True, she's been way too cruel with him. But that was just the way things are, right? Because if the world wasn't cruel then the higher powers wouldn't allow the man she loved to fall for someone else…
… this…this was simply retribution…this was simply balance…
…but Loki…Loki understood. He was aware that his object of affection has finally noticed his behavior, but beyond what she knew… she didn't understand. She didn't understand the words his eyes could've said whenever he steals a glance from her. She didn't understand the passion in his eyes. She didn't understand the want – the need- he felt whenever he saw her pining for the rune knight.
She was trying so hard to catch up with Chaos that she barely noticed how Loki did everything to catch up with her.
To her, it was just a game… he knew because he could tell… he could tell from the way her cheeks flush… the way she arched her back up… the way she moaned from pleasure… he could very much tell that in her mind… she was with Chaos…
…Loki was never there…
…broken like a fine piece of glass, still, he understood…
…life was never fair…
- owari