How often we wish for another chance
to make a fresh beginning.
A chance to blot out our mistakes
And change failure into winning.
It does not take a new day
To make a brand new start,
It only takes a deep desire
To try with all our heart.
To live a little better
And to always be forgiving
And to add a little sunshine
To the world in which we're living.
So never give up in despair
And think that you are through,
For there's always a tomorrow
And the hope of starting anew.

~Helen Steiner Rice

Words

"We're getting married."

After hearing those words I knew that the smile on my face would be nothing more than a façade. My mind completely shut down. I knew that one day everyone would go their own separate way, but I never thought that two of my friends would ever say that to me sitting down in a couch across from me. I wanted to make fun of Ishida for saying that with a straight face while Inoue looked red as a strawberry but the words in my mouth somehow abandoned me and all I could do was give them a gentle smile, even I didn't believe it. But maybe I could make this my new façade, but why did I have to make a façade?

"That's good."

Because really, that was all I could say. I didn't hear Inoue anymore as I fell from the world and waited for both of them to exit my home so I could start making plans to have a full day the day of their… wedding. That word seems so foreign to me, maybe it's because I always knew that I wasn't the type to settle down and live a relaxed life as I watch my kids grow. It's because I have to stay behind to watch over Karakura Town that I never really thought of a future rather than being a Shinigami. It's why I stand by my door as I wave goodbye to my engaged friends that I know that I'm bound here. Because if I don't do it, who will?

Finally, the day of their wedding came and I didn't attend. I didn't leave the house at all and stayed in my dark room all day asleep. I would eventually wake up but then I would close my eyes and wait until I fell back into my world of dreams to start the process all over again until the time had reached midnight. Then I knew that the ceremonies would be over and I could go out and not be bothered by anyone. Ishida and Inoue both told me that after their wedding they were going to move to Tokyo. I didn't know why they would go that far away but at least now I have the town's night all to myself as I dragged myself out of bed and began heading out the door.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and began reminiscing about the past. How Inoue would stare oddly at me, how Chad always had my back when I needed it, and how Ishida and I would fight over meaningless stuff. I look up into the stars and knew that not even upon all those stars do they know how miserable I feel at the moment. Because Chad is also gone that I know that he will never have my back, because Inoue is gone so she would no longer stare at me, and because Ishida is gone that I would no longer have to argue with him anymore. I stop in front of the river and ask myself, what do I have left? No one answers me. The only answer I could have received that night was the vast darkness and silence.

I begin to walk home and wonder if Ishida and Inoue think I'm a bad friend for ditching them on their most important day of their life. Once I make it back home I come to the realization that I really don't care. Because they abandoned me and that's how I will justify my actions as I hide behind my façade to keep me protected. I will move on and pretend that I never knew Inoue, Ishida and Chad. And I'll just make it my priority to just stay alive even though that inside I'm already dead. The worst part about this whole ordeal is that I know and I don't want to know anymore. I just want to forget.

A little bit after the wedding, I decided to move into my Universities' room. The sight of seeing my sisters sad every time they saw me and the words like are you okay, really started to bother me. Because I knew I was the one that was bringing every one down that the light that was barely left in that house was already beginning to fade away if I stayed any longer.

My roommate was a relaxed and calm guy, we didn't talk that much but we also didn't argue. I liked that, no problems other than my upcoming medical exam and the Hollow hunting's that happen from time to time. But other than that I knew that I was finally moving on, and I planned for it to stay that way. No one would be able to know the façade that I have placed over myself, no one.

Because words have become pointless and actions have become a bother. My words have forever lost the meaning they once held and my actions have begun to lack, but if there was only one word that never did lose meaning it would be the one that I have pledged a vow to myself to always accomplish. Protect.

This is mostly a point of view from Ichigo as he watches the world around him continue to turn without any day stopping. From realizing what he wants and what he needs and separating those two completely different things from one another. This story will be told from his point of view and don't expect happy chapters so soon. The poem above plays a very strong role in this story as well, so I suggest that you pay attention to it.

Please review, and to those who read Rumors, update on that story would be somewhat rare since I really want to work on my other stories, also updates will be somewhat slower since I have exams coming around soon and work tends to take up almost all my time.

Feedback on this story would be greatly appreciated since I never done something so angst in my work and wonder if I had a good start. This will be an Ichi/Ishi but the process in the relationship would be quite slow. Also, Ichi/Ryu will also play a role in this.