Sara, Judas, Pilate, Jesus and Friends in Amsterdam

[Pilate] Wow, good thing there's a sink in here.

[Judas] It might be best for me to avoid the hemp exhibit.

[Jesus] Hey, this church has pictures of me. I look smashing.

[Sara] Well, let's check into our hotel.

[Hotel Receptionist] Hello, what's your name?

[Pilate] Pilate. One room.

[Hotel Receptionist] We don't have a reservation.

[Sara] Not good.

[Judas] What are we gonna do?

[Pilate] Must wash hands!

[Jesus] Wait, hold on.

[Judas] Hmmm?

[Jesus] *pulls out confirmation*

[Sara] Jesus saves.

[Judas] That he does.

[Hotel Receptionist] Uh, well, there's a room available. Hey, aren't you Jesus Christ?

[Jesus] Yes.

[Hotel Receptionist] Wow. *hands key*

[Sara, Pilate, Judas and Jesus] *go up to room*

[Judas] *flicks around channels* Wow, channel 16.

[Sara] Ahh! My eyes!

[Jesus] Dude, I'm really not supposed to view things like that.

[Pilate] *runs in and frantically washes hands*

[Judas] *flicks to game show*

[Sara] It's the Weakest Link.

[Jesus] Any religion questions?

[Sara] *yells at stupid people on TV* Affirmative action, you idiots! Remakes DAMMIT!

[Jesus] *breathes out* Whoa.

[Judas] Let's go out and explore Amsterdam!

[All] Yay! *walk outside* *walk by coffeeshop*

[Judas] LET'S GO GET STONED!

[Jesus] Uh, I'll stay here, Judas.

[Pilate] My occupation requires a drug test.

[Sara] I'm the designated rememberer as it is. Ooh, a strippin card.

[Judas] Strippers? Where?

[Sara] For the TRAM, Judas! For someone who objected to JC dating a hooker, you're a slight bit wild yourself.

[Judas] *shrugs* I'm on vacation.

[Sara] You're weird. So am I, but that's beside the point. Now, you guys wanna go to Boom Chicago?

[All] *walk into Boom Chicago*

[Bartender] Oh no, we ran out of wine!

[Jesus] *runs to canal* *scoops out water* *changes to wine* *walks back across canal*

[All] *applaud*

[1st Comedian] Hello, now for our first improvisation, we need a phrase of dialogue.

[Sara] What is truth?

[Pilate] Steal my line *hmph*

[Jesus] Uh... Judas, must you betray me with a kiss?

[Judas] I didn't know you cared! *jumps on Jesus*

[Jesus] Ahh! *pushes Judas off* Not that there's anything WRONG with that...

[Pilate] Eee... That was scarier than the crucifixion!

[Sara] You might not want to bring that up.

*After Show*

[All] *walk out of Boom Chicago*

*When suddenly!*

[Caiaphas] It is I, Jesus Christ! We meet again! And Judas Iscariot! And Pontius Pilate! And, um...

[Sara] Sara (last name), also known as Sega Fahrenheit.

[Caiaphas] Uh, yeah, Sara (last name)...

[Sara] You pronounced my name right! I love you! *jumps on Caiaphas*

[Annas] Wow. *holds Star of David and does... um... Star of David thing... whatever Jewish people do instead of crossing themselves*

[Caiaphas] *gives Sara strange look*

[Sara] *relents*

[Caiaphas] And yet again you are STILL a rabble-rouser! Look at this crowd...

[Pilate] Uh, Caiaphas, that's the anti-war protest.

[Caiaphas and Annas] Oh.

[Annas] Well, um, ah... *ponders*

[Jesus] Let us not fight, brothers. Join in the culture of Amsterdam.

[Annas] How so?

[Judas] *eagerly gestures to coffeeshop*

[Caiaphas] I'm in.

[Annas] So am I...

*One hour later*

[Caiaphas] Wow, Jesus. Thanks. All hail Jesus!

[People in Vicinity] *hail Jesus*

[Jesus] Hail Sara, the trip was her idea.

[People in Vicinity] *hail Sara*

[Sara] You know, this gives me an idea...

*Several hours later*

[Israelis] Okay, deal. We get the hotel six months; you get the other six months.

[Palestinians] And we get Filmnet One, and you get Filmnet Two.

[Israelis and Palestinians] And we both get channel 16! Whoo whoo!

[Iraqi Information Minister] Hello Iraq. I would like to report that there are no Palestinians in Amsterdam, and hey are in no way behind me getting stoned and drunk with Israelis. Also, Jesus Christ, Judas Iscariot, and Pontius Pilate are in no way behind me having croissants. That is in no way true. Oh, and Caiaphas and Pilate in no way crucified Saddam Hussein, and his body parts are in no way being strewn around Baghdad.

[Crowd] *sings "The Temple"*

[Kurt Warner] Ahh! *shields eyes*

[Kurt Warner's sister] Hey, isn't that Jesus?

[Kurt Warner] *is still shielding eyes*

[Kurt Warner's sister] Hey, you?

[Sara] Yes?

[Kurt Warner's sister] Are you hanging out with... Jesus? In... Amsterdam?

[Sara] What can I say? I've got a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

[Kurt Warner's sister] Wow.

[Pilate] I so need to wash my hands after this.